Seven for Sunday

This post began as a Five for Friday, but I got no further on that than bullet points to remind me what to write about. Then I got it mostly written at the car dealership yesterday morning, but never got to post it. So! Seven for Sunday it is. 

I Don’t Know Where My Soul Is, I Don’t Know Where My Home Is: Remember when I was complaining about the robin (or robins, I suppose?) who has been flinging himself into my office window all spring? Well, the solution I decided on was… waiting him out. Which has not worked very well, I am sure you are shocked to learn. 

This is my view from the comfy chair I sit in, instead of sitting at my perfectly good desk. I can see the bird in the reflection of the painting.

I started out feeling bad for this bird, being driven by biology to slam his body into glass at regular intervals. And I know he’s not doing it with the purpose of bothering me; he doesn’t care about me. But I feel like even a robin should be capable of learning to identify a futile action, no? He taps at the glass aggressively with his beak, he flaps his wings at the glass, he has never once encountered another bird. Like, at least shouldn’t he be able to determine, inside his little birdy brain, that the mysterious bird threat he keeps spotting is secured behind a transparent forcefield? Or shouldn’t he have figured out by now that his attacks are usually followed by me shaking the blinds at him, which must be startling, at the very least, because it does get him to fly away?

Also, there is bird poop on my office windowpanes now. 

It is starting to feel very Edgar Allen Poe-ian over here, where I am now trying to figure out what the bird and his repeated appeals for my attention are telling me. What does it all MEAN? 

My daughter had the idea to set up her stuffed hawk on top of the blinds, but that did absolutely nothing. If anything, now the bird feels as though there’s A Real Threat encroaching on his territory. So my daughter added a stuffed tiger to the top of the blinds, which has had zero effect. I don’t think midwestern robins have any clue what a tiger is, to be honest, not to mention IT’S A STUFFIE. 

Sentinel hawk, reporting for the night watch. My chair has seen better days.

Anyway, my husband has decided enough is enough and we’re going to explore some of the very reasonable options you all shared with me last time. Perhaps the robin isn’t the only creature slow to learn that doing the same thing over and over will not result in a different outcome. 

Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough: I am Very Late to the Cool Bloggers Walking Club party, but I have serious FOMO. Plus, I do want to walk every day, and having this extra little motivation can only help. While I am not opposed to walking on the treadmill, I prefer to walk outside. And my new neighborhood is full of fun things to see on walks. 

A couple of weeks back seemed to be prime egg-laying season for the geese, and for a moment it felt like there were eggs EVERYWHERE. I can’t tell if geese were of the I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant ilk, dropping offspring in the goose equivalent of the grocery store parking lot, or if the eggs had been diverted from their nests by foxes/hawks/squirrels, but it was kind of an odd experience to be walking along and then come upon an egg. 

I have also seen a teensy little snake and a turtle. 

The snake was very small, maybe four to six inches long. And the turtle was not interested in being photographed, and tucked her head into her shell the instant I pulled out my phone.

Tossed Salad and Scrambled Eggs: Speaking of Elisabeth, in addition to inspiring more regular walking, she has also inspired me to revisit one of my favorite series: Frasier. I started it on the treadmill earlier this week and it is such a delight. I hazard to say that the Frasier pilot is one of the most perfect pilot episodes of all time. 

The only thing I dislike about Frasier is that the title character is supposed to be 41. (Incidentally, Kelsey Grammer was only 38 when he filmed the pilot.) Considering that I am FORTY THREE, I find it a little horrifying to see myself as part of Frasier’s cohort. He’s much more… mature than I am, that’s for sure.

I refuse to accept that this man is younger than I am by FIVE YEARS.

You Change Your Mind Like a Girl Changes Clothes: As of Thursday, our furnace and air conditioner have been repaired! And neither of them needed to be replaced! It did take a while, though, and I have a renewed irritation with our HVAC company’s communications system. It is STUPID. This is a very long and boring segment, FYI. If you want to skip it, rest assured that you have gleaned the key theme already, which is “It is STUPID.”

To contact the HVAC company, you call a central number and speak to a customer service person. (And by the way, they have a ridiculous scripted answer to their phone calls, something along the lines of, “How can I make your day great?” that sounds so dumb and disingenuous and also, like, fixing my A/C will most definitely make my day better, but nothing you can do, HVAC CS Agent, will make my day great.) You tell the agent why you’re calling. If you want an appointment, they put in a request for an appointment, and then a dispatcher calls you back and sets up the appointment. There is no way to directly schedule an appointment, or to talk directly to the technician who will complete the service/repair. There is no way to get directly to a dispatcher. If you miss the dispatcher’s return call, because you called during the one free period in your day, and they call back when you are in a meeting, you have to call the customer service agent again, and they leave a message for the dispatcher, and the whole phone tag thing starts all over. IT IS SO STUPID. Why is their system like this???? 

I got my initial appointment last Monday. After waiting ALL DAY, two people (a technician and a site manage) arrived to examine the air conditioner. My wonderful father was able to come to my house so I could go pick up Carla from school, because of course the HVAC people showed up right as I was pulling out of my garage. They determined what was wrong with the A/C and furnace (a rodent had chewed through the wiring to the intake valve, which prevented both appliances from working) (FRICKING RODENTS), and found an additional issue with the A/C (needed a new contactor, not that I know what that is; my dad seemed to think it was legit), and said they didn’t have the part on the truck but had it in the warehouse, so they would be back the next day. Except they couldn’t tell me when they could come back, or even if they would be the technicians to return: I had to call first thing the next morning and get an appointment. 

When I called the next morning, the customer service person said he could see that the part was in stock and that I was on the schedule for that day, I just needed to wait for dispatch to call me to confirm a time. No one called all day, so I called back and spoke to a different customer service agent. It turns out there was a hold on my appointment, which a completely different customer service agent said she suspected was because maybe the part wasn’t available? I told her that the technician had said it was, and the customer service agent I’d spoken to that morning said it was, and she said, “Well, did you confirm that it was really in stock?” Um. NO? How would I do that beyond talking to people who would supposedly know the answer?

Anyway. I told her I was unavailable the next day, but would be available Thursday morning. She said she would put a note in my file to have the work scheduled for Thursday and have dispatch call me on Wednesday. I said I would be in and out of meetings and wouldn’t be able to take the dispatcher’s call if they called while I was in a meeting. I asked if I could get a direct number for the dispatcher, so I didn’t have to do the customer service step. Nope. But! She could have the dispatcher text me, so I could communicate with her directly. Great.

No one called or texted me on Wednesday. In between meetings, I called the central number and went through the whole customer service, wait for a dispatcher to call back rigamarole. When I finally connected with the dispatcher, she said I was on the schedule for later that day! Well, as I told the customer service person yesterday, I was not available later that day (there was an event at Carla’s school). Finally she was able to get me scheduled for the first appointment on Thursday. Which turned out to begin at nearly noon, and the guy was not finished before my two o’clock meeting so I left him a tip and a notepad while I went to my meeting (fortunately, it was on Zoom) and he finished up and wrote me a very thorough report before he left. 

We were very fortunate that it was pretty cool all week. I am not going to lie: I woke up every night in a puddle of sweat, but the thermostat read only 75, so that may be more of a perimenopause thing than an HVAC issue. Hard to say. And now, everything is FIXED, even if the company’s system is BROKEN.

It’s All One World in Which We Live, So Understand and Try to Give: It’s a teeny bit early for me to be thinking about teacher gifts for the end of the school year, but I have two reasons for thinking about them already. 

Usually I give money to our class parent, who puts it toward a gift card for our teachers. But this year, Carla’s teacher has been so involved in her life, I want to do something special. The obvious gift is a Stanley, right? I feel like it will so perfectly encapsulate this teacher’s experience of teaching fifth grade this year. And we can personalize it. So now I have to decide if I personalize it with her name (probably her last name, right? That way she can bring it to school without all the kids calling her by her first name, or she can give it to her own kid if she wants nothing to do with it) or with some sort of phrase that makes her think about this year/this class/my kid. I will probably go with her surname, but I WANT to be the kind of person who comes up with some meaningful quote that will make her heart swell every time she uses the Stanley. Anyway, this is why I am thinking about it NOW; I need time to order it and have it arrive.

The other reason I am thinking about gifts is that I have somehow “volunteered” to be the person in charge of an end-of-year celebration for one of Carla’s extracurriculars. There are two instructors who lead this program, and I want to get them each the same thing (with, perhaps, variation in color). My mind went immediately to Stanleys, but Carla reported that one of the other kids in this extracurricular told her with great authority that one of the instructors HATES STANLEYS. Which I get. So. Stanleys are out. But that leaves… what???? I don’t want to do gift cards for Reasons, but I am not sure what a good alternative would be. And I’m running out of time, because this program ends at the beginning of May. (Lest you think I have been procrastinating, I was just wrangled into this role last week.)

A Bushy Bushy Blonde Hairdo: It is once again the time of year when I begin gently stressing about Carla’s birthday party. We already have the Big Gift planned: as I mentioned/fretted about before, I have scheduled an appointment for her to get her ears pierced. Her pediatrician will be doing the ear piercing, as I figure it would behoove me to be in a medical establishment just in case I pass out from seeing someone create dual apertures in my child. 

Since Carla’s birthday is on a Saturday, and since we are planning on a pool party, I figured I would schedule her ear piercing for the following week. (It probably isn’t IMPOSSIBLE to go swimming after you get your ears pierced, but it is a complication I don’t want to deal with. Plus, this way, Carla can back out if she decides being hole-punched is not as good an idea as she originally thought.) Swistle mentioned this ear piercing aftercare spray, and I think I will get a bottle of it, wrap it up nicely, and that will be how she learns about this present. 

Anyway! Party! I asked Carla what the theme of her party should be, and/or what color she wanted her cake, and after some thought she said, in Ken-style deadpan, “My theme is just beach.” So. That seems both easy to interpret in a bunch of different directions and too vague, but I am going to run with it. Maybe the kids will get beach balls as their favor? (I would do towels, but one of Carla’s friends gives out towels as a birthday favor and Carla doesn’t want to copy.) Or sunglasses? Flip flops? Although that might be tricky, without knowing each kid’s shoe size. I want it to be a summery, beach-adjacent gift that isn’t too expensive and can be used even without access to a pool/beach. 

The food will be a taco bar. I think I may need to borrow crockpots from a couple of friends, so I can have ground beef and shredded chicken and black beans. But tacos seem like a pretty safe bet – or, at least as safe as pizza, which neither Carla nor her best friend will eat, and which is the standard Birthday Party Meal around these parts.

The lifeguard has been secured, and she will bring her own life-saving equipment. I just need to provide a chair. A rather big issue to solve will be what to do in case of rain. I could have a dozen children in my basement, but I would rather not. That’s probably what will happen, though. 

Now that the big things have been decided, I can turn my attention to cupcakes. Carla requested a color scheme of blue and tan, which… well, I will feel free to jazz that combo up with additional colors. She also mentioned wanting either an umbrella or flip flops on her cupcakes. These cupcakes look a little fussy to make, but very cute. These beach cupcakes look much simpler, and are also very cute. I could always get some flip flop cupcake toppers to add on.

Target has cute beach-themed dinnerware. I think this could be a lot of fun. Especially because no real sand will be involved.

I’ve Given You Sunshine, I’ve Given You Dirt: Yesterday included a sports event (Carla’s), a visit to the car dealership (my windshield wiper fluid should no longer leak!), a playdate at our house (also Carla’s), a bunch of laundry (2/5 loads have been washed and dried, 0/5 have been folded, although I did manage to replace the sheets), and some very gentle progress toward buying some of the furniture we want to buy but have been postponing (we did not buy anything, once again, but we did re-measure and re-confirm that we want to buy a specific bookshelf from Room & Board). 

When it seemed as though Carla, newly divested of her friend, and my husband were happily doing their own things, I decided to drive to the garden center.

Firstly, garden centers can be FANTASTIC for fun gift-y browsing. The one I went to was AMAZING and I found myself drooling over plant stands and cheese trays and kitchen towels and wind chimes long before I even saw a plant.

Secondly, I am in full-on I Want to Plant Things mode, which is a mode that feels deeply unsatisfying because I am a) cheap and b) indecisive and c) black thumbed. But oh! how I love visiting the garden center and imagining all sorts of plants in and around my home. Am I person who could grow golden raspberries? I sure hope so! Do I need a malus purple prince flowering tree? I think I do! What kind of fern would work best in the sunroom (which has no furniture, and so is less of a “room” and more of a “holding space” for various things we haven’t felt up to tossing yet)? Hard to say because I have never dealt with ferns! Should I try to grow a bunch of veggies again this year? I am desperate to do so, but… HOW desperate?

I took a bunch of photos of all the things I want to buy (and of their price tags; yikes) and I think I finally made One Decision, which is that I want to buy two Dwarf Alberta Spruce (spruces? sprice?) to put in large containers on either side of our front door. It would be nice to have something green there all year long. I wouldn’t have to worry about planting flowers each spring, but it would still be inviting and elegant. And around the holidays, I could wrap them with fairy lights! The garden center person who asked if I needed help tells me that the only problem with putting them in pots is that their roots are in danger of freezing in the winter, so I might want to bring them inside. Hmmm. I will sleep on it. 

In the meantime, I picked up a new friend. Meet Alien (“Because it’s green!” says Carla.), our new Venus flytrap. I hope it enjoys moths.  

That’s all I’ve got for you, Internet. Passover begins tomorrow, and we have been lucky enough to be invited to a Seder with dear friends. Hope you have had a restful, bug-free weekend. 

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HVAC, Moths, Dinners This Week

Oh hi! I am once again waiting for the HVAC professionals to arrive at my home! My furnace worked for two days. Then we had a day of beautiful sunshiney 79-degree weather and the interior of my house transformed into a sauna, so I turned on the air conditioning. Which didn’t work. This morning, my husband thought to check whether the furnace would work… and it did not work either. We have neither heat nor air conditioning. I am very glad today’s forecast is for mild temps, but… What is happening?????

Sidebar, since I was already moaning to you last week about pest woes: We opened the windows to help cool the house last night, and when I got into bed I noticed that approximately ten zillion miniature flying critters had taken up residence inside my lampshade, on the wall around my lamp, and on the ceiling directly above my lamp. I suspect they were tiny moths or other light-loving insects. I examined the screen nearest my bed and discovered that there is a large rip in it. It was past one (I fell asleep at my desk while working), so I did not have any energy to do a single thing about the moths. I turned off my lamp and went to bed, hoping they wouldn’t swarm me while I slept. This morning, they were gone. Where… did they go? I closed the window with the broken screen, so they didn’t exit that way. They don’t seem to have congregated around any of the nightlights. But… where are they? On the scale of pest awfulness, a million tiny moths doesn’t really register… but I am still very concerned. Am I going to open a seldom-used closet one of these days and find a full-fledged moth hive, pulsing with winged bugs?

MOVING RAPIDLY AWAY FROM THAT HORRIFYING IMAGE. I am in desperate need of groceries, but I’m afraid to leave the house lest the HVAC person choose that moment to show up. (They are supposed to give me a 30-minute window, but, in my experience, it is more like, “Oh, hey, I’m five minutes away!”) 

Let’s turn our thoughts away from the specter of replacing BOTH air conditioner and furnace and to the much more comforting prospect of food!  

Dinners for the Week of April 15-April 21

• Taquito Enchiladas: I am pretty sure Sarah inspired this one, as I never in a million years would have thought to do this myself. But I am newly in possession of a bag of chicken taquitos from Costco and I really, really want to see if this easy delicious-sounding meal is as easy and delicious as I hope it will be. 

• Whole-Roasted Cauliflower with Feta: I saw this on Instagram and cannot stop thinking about it. My husband will probably require some sort of meat accompaniment, so I am thinking chicken shawarma, maybe?

• Pasta Primavera: It’s that time of year again when I want ALL THE VEGGIES. I will sauté whatever I can find – asparagus! zucchini! broccoli! peas! – and add it to some protein pasta with a ton of lemon juice and parmesan. YUM.

• Sheet Pan Red Curry Chicken and Veggies: This recipe calls for butternut squash, which I will probably sub out for… something else. Broccoli and cauliflower? Green beans? 

Carla is back in the throes of Multiple Extracurriculars, now that spring sports have begun, so we will also be eating some junk food this week – some sort of fast-food chicken or burger, we’ll see. I am not a big fan of eating fast food on the regular, but sometimes it is the best and easiest option. This season of eating fast food multiple times per week won’t last forever, so I will try to lean into it as best I can.

What are you eating this week, Internet?

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Five for Friday

And just like that, it’s mid-April! Many apologies for being MIA lately, internet! I miss you! (And I fully intend to catch up on what you’re up to.) This is one of those pell-mell times of the year, where I feel like I’m being propelled down a steep hill and can barely get my feet under me. All (mostly?) good things, but this is the first Fun Writing I’ve done in… three weeks maybe? When I go to open a document in Word, NONE of my recent files are my blog document, is what that means. (Yes, I type all my posts in Word and then transfer [some of] them to WordPress.)

Seems like a good day for a quick catch-up. And then I need to find a solid week or so to go back and read ALL OF YOUR POSTS, omg, I feel so out of the loop. 

1. I am spending today as we all hope our Fridays go: waiting for the HVAC service technician to show up. Why, yes, that was sarcasm, and yes, our furnace IS dead. I’m glad it’s not, like, January, but it is currently 45 degrees F outside and the internal temperature of my house has dropped to 65. Perfect weather for walking on the treadmill while I cross two items on my to-do list off simultaneously! 

Our furnace is 23 years old, if it is a day, so it’s no spring chicken. But we did just have the HVAC people in here this February to give it a checkup, so I’m feeling a little grumpy that it’s acting up now. Back in February, I asked the HVAC guy to give me a prognosis on the lifespan on my furnace, and he said, “Well, I can’t guarantee anything – it could stop working tomorrow! But it seems like it’s in good shape and you could get another ten years out of it.” Not sure why I didn’t hear the foreboding music swell in the background of this little pronouncement.  

2. While I drank my breakfast (which was a smoothie and a mug of green tea, not, like, whiskey), I whacked away at my to-do list a bit more. It’s at that out-of-control point again, where things keep piling up until I am buried under their weight. The section I tackled today was Making Routine Doctors’ Appointments. Well, some of them were routine. Like I got Carla scheduled for her annual well visit and her annual eye exam (which we somehow skipped last year????). I also left a message on my doctor’s prescription line to follow up on a refill that I requested earlier this week. That last one took two calls because I got through three menu trees and clicked on “leave a message for Dr. X” and then had to listen to a recording that said this was the place to leave questions for the nurse, NOT the place to leave refill requests, so I had to go through all the phone menus again. And! Most exciting of all: I scheduled an ear piercing appointment for Carla! This will be her Big Birthday Present this year. She has been ramping up the requests to have her ears pierced over the past six to twelve months, and she has really made strides in Being Responsible (she has a necklace she wears daily that has so far always come home with her; she has a dental appliance she has to care for). Plus, she got a pair of nice-quality clip on earrings from her grandmother last fall, and she wears them regulary. So I think she is ready for pierced ears. I, however, am NOT ready for pierced ears. I have never had pierced ears, or any sort of piercing, and the whole thing a) squicks me out and b) makes me extremely nervous. I am squeamish and blood/body stuff makes me woozy. I am comforted by Carla’s swift and independent handling of her dental appliance; I have never had to touch it or adjust a single rubber band, and her orthodontist says she is doing great, so I am going to trust that between her and my husband, she’ll figure out how to care for HOLES in her BODY. 

Still on the list are many additional phone calls, which I will probably avoid some more. I need to call the landscaper, make an appointment to get my car serviced, call someone to come look at our oven, call the trash collection service about whether they will collect some unusual items (paint cans and gutter guards), hire a lifeguard for Carla’s birthday party, and get some estimates to get the exterior of our house painted. Also on my list: a work project, two rather major projects for my volunteering role, a message for a family member’s Big Birthday Memory Book, finding photos of Carla for a school project, making decisions about and then scheduling a couple of other healthcare-type things, and, most daunting of all: figuring out how to order breakfast for an out-of-town group event at which I will not be present, in a town I have never visited and know nothing about.

3. A phone call I already made this week? Scheduling an appointment with our new pest control service. Even though we live, like, twenty miles away from our old neighborhood, the locations are different enough that they seem to have totally different pest problems. At our old house, we had silverfish; at this house, we have ants, stinkbugs, mice, and bats. “Probably you had rats, too,” the pest control guy said helpfully. But since in twelve years I never once saw a rat, or any sign of such, I refuse to acknowledge this as a possibility.   

While he is from the same pest control company that handled our mouse problem when we first moved into this house, he is not the same person. He tells me he was injured last fall and on leave. But he used to do pest control for the previous owners, which was useful because he knew exactly where to go and what the problem areas were. He also kind of implied that the previous owners canceled a ton of their appointments, so he wasn’t surprised we had such a huge mouse infestation when we moved in. While I feel deeply uncomfortable with service people sharing qualms about their other customers, I do feel a little bit justified in my growing belief that the previous owners did not really take care of this place. Lots and lots of things have looked lovely on the surface and then turn out to be falling apart behind the scenes, and the repeated cancellation of regular home maintenance stuff helps explain that. Don’t get me wrong – they seem like lovely people, and I get the impression they are just very busy and travel a lot. And who knows! Maybe they had other stuff they were dealing with, and/or once they decided to move, they simply stopped keeping things up. I will tell you, while I am NOT EXCITED about bats or mice, I do prefer the tiny little ants and the occasional stinkbug to silverfish. 

4. Did you know you can make queso dip out of cottage cheese? Possibly you already knew this, but I only just tried it. It was marvelous. I don’t know how “healthy” it was, especially because I ate it with tortilla chips. But it was easy and much higher in protein than covering my chips in shredded cheese while being just as delicious.

5. Speaking of things I have recently tried and loved, I have FINALLY found a travel pillow that allows me to sleep on the airplane! Sleeping is really the only way I can fly, because I find the entire experience so anxiety-producing. But I am not a person who can lean back against the questionably clean headrest or use a travel pillow. My head insists on flopping forward, no matter what, and each time it falls, I snap awake. It is neither comfortable nor restful and it’s kind of embarrassing, to be honest. I have tried so many travel pillows. So many. None of them work. But then! My husband ordered a TRTL travel pillow to use on our flights to and from spring break (four-ish hours each way) and on our first flight, he let me use it… and it WORKS. My head can rest gently in a forward position but there is enough support to prevent flopping AND it doesn’t make my neck ache! I did feel like a moron, winding it around my neck like I was bracing for arctic winds, but it was well worth it! I used it on the flight home, too, and it is now mine, all mine. 

Okay, in the time since I drafted this post, I got a phone call (friend with whom I exchanged phone numbers for my phenomenal roof/siding person; being an adult is weird), made a phone call (oven repair person is scheduled!), wrapped two birthday presents, unloaded the dishwasher, tidied the kitchen, welcomed the furnace repair person into my home, threw some ice cubes into the dryer to refresh the clothes I dried last night and forgot about, discovered that my front door will BLOW OPEN unless it is locked, tossed a load of laundry in the washing machine, and agreed to pay to have a new transformer installed in my furnace. I think I hear the heater doing its thing! 

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Five for Friday

It’s March! A new month! Spring is inching ever closer! I am feeling so much better today. No fever, and I SLEPT last night, which is everything. I still have no voice to speak of (ha, unintentional pun!), which is more annoying than I anticipated (our house has a lot of stairs and I tend to holler at people rather than walking to where they are which is EFFICIENT) and this infection has fully settled in my chest, so I am coughing at ALL TIMES. (Do you have a go-to cough drop/cough syrup? I have been drinking a LOT of green tea with honey but I think I need to pull out the big guns.) 

I am feeling a little KEYED UP, I feel so much better, is what I’m saying. Like maybe I’ve had a full pot of espresso or a fistful of cocaine instead of three sips of my normal tea and zero cocaine. So I guess… Prepare yourself for even more exclamation marks than usual. (I added an exclamation mark after that sentence, then deleted it. It looks mean, now. Mean!!!!)

Let’s have some Friday bullets, shall we?!

1. With all of my Feeling Better Verve, I am making muffins. We had some sad bananas on the counter (we have the Proverbial Banana Problem of either going through bananas more quickly than we can supply them or ending up with an entire bunch slowly liquifying on the counter. So the first order of business is banana chocolate chip muffins, which are in the oven as I type! I have still not gotten around to making the apple cinnamon muffins I mentioned a while back, but I have left all the muffin making ingredients on the counter (which makes me itchy) AND I have already washed all the muffin making equipment (bowls, measuring devices) to prompt me to make Batch 2 as soon as the banana muffins are done. Why not make them simultaneously? Why not, indeed! It is because I have only one set of silicone muffin cups and they are currently in service. Clearly, I need to get another set! These muffins are intended for the freezer – I mean, that’s my intent for them; I can’t speak for the recipe writers – and I find I prefer to reheat a naked muffin rather than try to disrobe a frozen muffin in a paper wrapper. This reminds me that I would love a better muffin freezing solution than the one I have (Tupperware rectangle). Surely Amazon has a product that is designed for this highly specific need? YES! Do I need a muffin fresh storage container just for this purpose? Yes, I think I do!

2. The only problem with making muffins is my oven. I think I have mentioned before that we have two ovens (!!!!!) and that neither of those ovens heats properly (womp womp). For instance, my banana chip muffins required a baking temperature of 350 degrees Fahrenheit. I set the oven to 450 degrees. When it had reached approximately 325 degrees, my oven alerted me that it had come to temperature. Yes, I get it, we’re all eager for muffins. (I only know the “real” temperature because we got a thermometer to put inside the oven.) This would be sort of okay if the oven held a consistent temperature difference – like, if I set it to 450 but it reliably stayed at 350. (Although that would be problematic for dishes that require a temperature of 450, because the oven dial only goes to 525.) Except, no, it does not do that. It slowly continues to heat. This is true of both ovens! BOTH! I hate it, thanks. Let’s be clear, though: I do not want to replace the ovens. Especially because one of them is a Big Fancy Oven that costs more money than I care to imagine. But I also can’t go on like this. I suppose what this means is Another Phone Call!!!! Woo! 

3. It’s that time again: I need new walking shoes. I don’t know WHAT I do to my shoes, but at some point, the vertical section of shoe that wraps around the back of your heel inevitably fails. And by “fails” I mean there is a big hole through which the plastic starts poking painfully. Do I have horns sprouting from the backs of my heels? I am contemplating ordering another pair of Brooks Ghost shoes – they are what I was using, and I liked them. They are also a lower price on Amazon than I’ve seen them. But maybe I just want a cheapo pair of Asics? These are the shoes I wear around the house all day every day and I like them just fine. 

4. We keep inching our way toward finishing Carla’s room renovation. Well. Not really a “renovation,” per say. We have painted the walls and bought a bunch of decor and are now trying to make her space usable. In this house, she has ample space: an enormous bedroom PLUS an enormous craft/toy room. It is The Dream, truly. Unfortunately, we haven’t figured out yet how to make them workable for what she likes to do. (“Crafting all over her bedroom” is NOT THE ANSWER.) The craft room is a big mess right now (but behind a door so I don’t have to see it!!!!). We want to get her a drafting chair so that it’s easier for her to work at her crafting “table” (which is a door balanced on top of several storage units). We want to move one of our couches into that space (we got a new couch for the basement, so now we have too many couches), to give it a cozier feel. She also requested a second bean bag chair. And we want to organize everything so that all the paper and foam and pompoms and markers have A Specific Home. (Do you think we need a label maker for organization purposes? I’ve wanted a label maker for a long time but haven’t made it past putting various label makers in my various digital shopping carts.) It’s a big project and we’ve been limping toward the finish line for a long time. Will this be the weekend we complete it?!?! Probably not, but a girl can hope!!!!

5. Speaking of things I keep wanting to buy but haven’t yet, I am feeling lately like I NEED a stick blender with a cup attachment. Probably I don’t, considering I already have an immersion blender (which I cannot find! they all seem to come with cup attachments now!) and a regular blender, which came with a smaller cup I use for making dressings and single serve smoothies. But it looks so useful! So many delicious recipes on Instagram are made with one of these guys!

Okay, if I continue in this vein I am going to spend too much money and wear out my 1 key. By the way, the muffins are done (and I have left the oven on, set to 375 and the temperature seems to have evened out at 350), my child is awake (and off from school today, whoo five day weekend!!!!!), and I need to go make muffin batch number two! 

Tell me something you want to buy but haven’t yet done so.

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Pestilence & Power Hour

Happy Leap Day, Internet! I am spending this extra day trying to decide whether the benefits of cold medicine (reduced headache, mild cough suppression, drying of the sinuses) outweigh the ill effects (drowsiness, zombie brain).

We had a good run of it, Internet. And by “it” I mean good health. Carla’s class has apparently been stricken by a boatload of illnesses and, after volunteering at a school event last week, I have brought one home. 

It started Sunday with a sore throat, then moved along through the normal URI progression, so I thought I was getting better. But today I woke up with no voice and a fever of 101.5. I feel like someone is trying to escape the inside of my skull by hacking at it with a pickaxe and he’s standing right on my lungs while he hammers away.

Carla was fine at first, but woke up with a fever yesterday, so she is home with me for the second day. So far it doesn’t seem to have hit her quite as hard. She’s feverish but cheerful. And sniffly. I hope her illness goes in the proper direction, though. 

I am bummed because I had weekend plans, but even if I do feel better by then, I am sure to be hacking up a lung which doesn’t sound pleasant for me or those around me. 

This post is not about me whining about being sick though. It is a celebration of productivity!

I know you are dying to know whether the internet magic of mentioning something on my blog made it happen, and it did! Via the power of public humiliation (although you made me feel understood rather than humiliated), I have made some progress on my to-do list.

While my preference would have been for Suz to come over and tackle my to-do list for me (you DID offer, Suz), I decided to take Jenny’s advice and do a Power Hour.

In my house, a Power Hour is a way to gamify a to-do list. I have heretofore only used it on my daughter, and pretty much only as a cleaning challenge. Although, to be fair, she will not do a Power Hour unless I am also doing a Power Hour – she is a competitive being – so I end up doing one alongside her. We haven’t done one in a while. But I have never really made myself do a Power Hour. 

Monday, I came home from school drop-off and took a nap until 11:00, then allowed my guilt for napping to propel me into a Power Hour. I will tell you, first, that the Power Hour is a misnomer because it took THREE HOURS.

1. First, I made a list on my new custom notepads that my husband and daughter got me for my birthday. 

2. Instead of calling the landscaper, I instead looked up an email she’d sent me in August with a recommendation for a tree trimming/removal company. I had called them, around that time; there’d been a storm that wreaked havoc on a lot of local trees, so the tree service said they would call me back and then never did. 

I called the tree company and someone is coming out to look at the tree in question and offer an estimate. Should I call someone else to come give a second estimate? Probably. 

3. Gigi said I needed to handle the rot in my siding sooner rather than later, so that was next on my list. She’d suggested calling a general contractor, so I spent some time looking at previous texts with friends whom I’d asked for contractor suggestions. None of them seemed right, and one of them mysteriously has NO Internet presence at all. Like… his name doesn’t exist on the internet. And it’s an odd name with an unusual spelling – something like Grygg – and I know the spelling I used was accurate because the friend who’d recommended him said, “Oh, I spelled his name wrong in the contact I shared; it’s Grygg instead of Gryyg.” Nonetheless, neither spelling came up with ANY hits online. 

So I turned instead to people who deal with gutters. This is what Marg had to do, at an approximate cost of $1500 for a similar issue. (THANK YOU, Marg, for the benchmark pricing!) We had our gutters cleaned regularly at our old house, and it was fairly reasonable price-wise, but the REAL price was in future phone and text spam from the company. So I didn’t want to call them. Moving has been a nice excuse to part ways with some companies I felt bad about parting ways with. I looked up some highly rated gutter service companies in our area and then called. 

The person who answered at the first place was so kind. I said that I had no idea whether she could help me, and she said, “Well, let’s just see!” and I explained my problem, and it WAS something she seemed familiar with. She even gave me an estimate for replacing that rotted wood right off the top of her head ($475 in case you are wondering). But then she told me that sometimes getting all of your gutters cleaned can help address the problem, and that adjusting the gutter would be part of the cost of that ($495 in case you are wondering). I don’t think replacing the rotted wood would necessarily have been part of the gutter cleaning cost, but then again, I’d be getting ALL the gutters cleaned, which needs to be done anyway. She was so warm and knowledgeable that I wanted to book her right then and there, but… well, I have been swayed by warm and knowledgeable people before (I’m looking at you, Guy Who Said I Needed to Replace My Garage Doors When Really They Only Needed a Small Much-Less-Costly Adjustment), so I told her I would talk it over with my husband and call her back. 

Gutter person number two was also very nice. He immediately asked if I could text him pictures of the issue and I did. But then he wanted to continue the conversation via text, which was a little less satisfying than being on the phone? I think, mainly, because a) we were discussing terms I wasn’t familiar with and b) the guy is not quite so wordy as I am (shocker) nor as wordy as I would prefer he be in responses. He said he thinks the issue is that “it” (the gutter?) just needs to be “pitched toward the downspout,” all of which are words I think I understand, but am not 100% sure I know exactly what that means? He can also replace the rotted wood and he is coming out to look more closely and give me an estimate. 

4. On to the pool service task! I had one recommendation from a friend, one company my husband had suggested, and another company the previous owners’ pool guy had suggested (note: we used the previous owners’ pool guy last year and he does not provide the cleaning/maintenance we are looking for, plus he is impossible to deal with – like, he will just show up unannounced in the backyard). I called and left messages at each company. I believe I have left messages with each of these companies before; only the friend-recommended guy ever called me back, and then said his brother would be in touch, and then the brother never got in touch. WHY IS THIS IMPOSSIBLE? 

5. There is a drip in our furnace. Plus, I got a text that said this was my LAST CHANCE to schedule the free furnace maintenance that comes with my membership to the HVAC company. I was confused, because I am SURE that we had someone come out last fall to look at the furnace; I remember very clearly because he told me that I was still eligible to get the extended warranty on the furnace, and then I called the warranty company and they needed my title within 90 days of the home sale, and the title hadn’t arrived, and I went back and forth with the title company and eventually we got the title but it was after the 90 days. So. No extended warranty on the furnace.

But I looked in my calendar, and it said the same company did an air conditioner inspection last September, so perhaps that’s what I was thinking of? So I called the HVAC company (my god this is a VERY BORING POST but somehow I cannot curb my desire to write out all the tiresome details) and the cheery gal I spoke to said yes, it had been an A/C checkup. So we scheduled a furnace inspection. Whew. 

6. Next! I first updated our family calendar with all the important dates from my daughter’s 2024-25 school calendar. Good lord, there are a lot of days off. Like, so many days off. Then I called the dentist and scheduled her next checkup. This, if you are keeping track, is the only actual task I have completed. 

7. Then I turned to the electrician, which has a very convoluted backstory. The TL;DR version is that I successfully scheduled an appointment for the electrician to come out and address multiple issues. The slightly longer version is that the company that we use has a very complex system that probably makes a lot of sense to them but is difficult to deal with. One person comes out to see what’s wrong, another person prepares an estimate for you and works with you to figure out exactly what work you want to do, then a whole other person schedules the appointment with you. On the day of the Power Hour, it took me multiple phone calls and multiple emails across multiple hours to finalize the work order and schedule a day for someone to come out. 

8. I wrote a check to the orthodontist and put it in my car. I still need to take the check to the orthodontist’s office, but that can be done at a later time.

9. I followed up on a work email (and have still not heard back siiiighhhhhh).

10. Bonus task! I talked to Carla’s teacher on the phone and then made a follow-up phone call based on our conversation.

These were the tasks I got through before it was time to pick up Carla from school. (Although I did exchange three separate phone calls, two texts, and an email with the electrician and the estimate person while in the car, so that was fun.) (The email and texts I handled while in the car line, not while driving.)

All in all, it was a productive Power Hour. But do you see, Internet? DO YOU SEE WHY I HATE THESE TASKS? 

I would like to note once again for the record that I spent THREE HOURS Power Houring my way through all these phone calls and emails and to-do lists and I accomplished one thing. Yes, yes, I got a lot of other things underway. But NOTHING ELSE is complete.         

And there are still so many, many items at which to pick away.  

One of those tasks is to call the hair salon and schedule an appointment for my husband. Since I have no voice, Carla is going to get to learn how to schedule an appointment today. Which is clearly a crucial skill every human must master. 

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Sunday Randomosity: To Do Lists and Birthday Plans Edition

This snow person has nothing to do with anything, but I found it on a walk recently and it is a real vibe.

A person can both Not Really Want, At All sweeping romantic gestures and glittery jewelry and giant bouquets of flowers and fancy heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, while still feeling a little disappointed to then not get those things. It is illogical, but such is the human heart. This past Valentine’s Day, I managed to override whatever part of my system feels sad and melancholy over not having the Hallmark Version of the holiday, and instead feel pleased about a) sending Valentines (although they ALL seemed to reach their recipients MUCH TOO LATE; note to self, start MUCH EARLIER) and b) making cookies and c) delivering said cookies to a few dear local friends and d) buying flowers for myself and e) supporting Carla in her desire to paper the house with hearts. It worked, truly, and I felt pleased and cheerful rather than resentful and pouty. 

Today: I bought myself some yellow tulips that I am hoping will open up as the day goes on. I do love a cheery yellow tulip. I am making vanilla cupcakes with lemon curd filling and cream cheese frosting because, as Engie noted, why would I pass up a perfectly good opportunity for a baked good?! Also, I am using boxed cake mix because the cupcakes always turn out better than homemade, PLUS they are easier. I am also making tacos for dinner and I am going to have a GIANT MARGARITA, maybe two! with the tacos. Probably not three, because I do need to wake up tomorrow to take Carla to school, but we’ll see where the night takes us. I don’t plan on doing a single dish, although that means I may have extra dishes tomorrow, but that’s okay! It is worth it! (We’ll see if I can truly go to bed with dirty dishes piled in the dishwasher.) 

Today is supposed to be both sunny and warm, so I plan to take a long, leisurely walk. Maybe I will even start a new audiobook instead of forcing myself to continue listening to the book I am reading with a couple of friends. (I am nearly 70% of the way through it, and it’s just not my favorite. Although it is improving with time. I suppose for a five-book series, I should give the author a little time to solidify the world around me before throwing in the towel.) 

ANYWAY, despite all these happy things to look forward to, my husband is at the hospital and I am sort of feeling sorry for myself anyway so let’s skip right into some Sunday randomosity!!!!!!!!!! Aggressive exclamation marks!!!!!!!!

Edited to add: Turns out all I needed was to chat with you and pull a couple of fragrant pans of cupcakes out of the oven and my mood is considerably brighter. Onto the less aggressive and self-pitying randomosity!

Waiting to be filled and frosted!

1. My dreams have been highly stressful lately. Uncomfortably explicit dreams about people from my past. Not-finishing-the-assignment dreams. Last night, I dreamed that I worked at my old company, and got paid every month, but wasn’t actually doing any work. And there was an assignment due that I hadn’t yet begun, and I was kind of hoping everyone at the company had forgotten about me completely. But I was also feeling super guilty about getting paid for doing nothing. In the same dream, there’d been an Unknown Incident that resulted in needing to build a special room for my oven, but the room was in a tiny nook up several flights of stairs and it was 90 degrees in that space at all times. I think this last dream at least has some easily identifiable sources: a) I get hot to the point of needing to step outside every time I turn on the oven and b) my to-do list keeps growing and I keep not doing any of the things.

2. There are so many unappealing things on my to-do list. I think I’m going to try the thing where I list them out here, and the embarrassment of stating them publicly will spur me to do them. Come on, internet magic! 

• Call the electrician. How many times am I going to mention this particular pressing task before I DO IT? The reason I have not taken care of it yet is because the electrician has both a weirdly specific estimate process and a weirdly complicated scheduling process. My husband suggested I find a new electrician; that would be WORSE, because these people have already done a whole-house evaluation and I cannot stomach the idea of researching a new electrician and having them come out and give us an estimate and then schedule a real appointment. I CAN’T DO IT. Also, we get a discount with this particular electrician which has to count for something, no? 
• Figure out how to fix the doorbell????? Perhaps the electrician could give us some thoughts, if I ever get him back out here? I am seriously considering becoming an electrician myself because it seems like it would be easier. 
• Email or call the landscaper. The reason I am balking at this one is because I ignored the landscaper’s calls and emails for MONTHS before we were finally ready to sign a contract for next summer. Apparently, all you need to do to get me to spend money with your company is to badger me, politely but at regular intervals, for several months???? Anyway, now I feel like I can’t suddenly Be Available to talk about new things we want to do with our yard. Also, while I DO want to do new things with our yard, I don’t know what they ARE and I am not ready for that conversation (or the price).
• Schedule a work call. This should be the easiest on my list, I think. The only thing holding me back is that I already reached out to this person and they didn’t respond, which always makes me feel like I am pestering. 
• Figure out who will take care of our pool this summer. Talk about a Champagne problem!!!!!!! But getting a person whose purported livelihood is pool care/maintenance to call me back and then agree to have me pay them to do the work they purport to do is extremely difficult for reasons I don’t understand and I am avoiding it like whoa.
• Put last year’s earnings into my retirement account. (Another Champagne problem. I am so lucky that 99% of my problems are this variety.) WHY is this hard? It should not be. And yet. 
• Schedule Carla’s next dental appointment. The hygienist wanted to schedule it for me, but I didn’t know when Carla’s first day of school was, so I said I would call back once I knew… but then I looked it up while the hygienist was finishing up, and so I could have easily made the appointment, but didn’t because I didn’t want to bother her?????? So now I have to make a phone call. Yay. 
• Put a check in the mail to the orthodontist. We get a small discount on the price of braces if we pay in full in cash. I did not have my checkbook (why?????) when I signed the braces paperwork, but the office manager kindly told me she would give me the discount anyway, if I just sent in the check by the end of the month. She even gave me a self-addressed envelope. Why have I not simply WRITTEN THE CHECK and put it in the mail? THIS is the easiest item on my list. Just do it, Suzanne! 
• Figure out what kind of person addresses what looks like rot in the wood siding of my house. Probably I just need to google this. And then I will need to begin the rigamarole of calling people and having them come over and give estimates. Why did we buy a new house again? Who thought that would be a good idea?

• Fulfill the giveaway I offered on my blog. Wait a second. THIS is the easiest task on my list to fulfill! Guess what?! J is the winner of the paperback giveaway! Congrats, J! I will reach out to you for your address and send you a copy of the second book in Elena Ferrante’s My Brilliant Friend series. 

3. You know how, in TV shows and movies, someone will cough ominously and then three scenes later they die of consumption? Carla is upstairs and I can hear her coughing and it is filling me with foreboding. We went to a school event the other day; I volunteered while Carla ran around in a howling pack of other children. Already one friend has texted me with the unsettling news that her kid just woke up with a fever. We have so far avoided the bulk of the Winter Illnesses that have felled nearly everyone else on the planet… but based on the frequency of the coughing, I suspect our time has come. 

4. There’s no way to correct someone’s misimpression about your birth date without making them feel bad and/or stupid, right? There is a person in my life who very sweetly wishes me happy birthday every year… the day before my birthday. And now their spouse is doing it, too. And it’s very thoughtful and getting it on the actual date really does not matter – TRULY – I am now forty-three years old and it’s unexpectedly lovely when people remember your birthday at all, let alone get the date right. This is just a charming quirk I should love for as long as it lasts, right?

5. The best article I’ve read in awhile is this profile of Jodie Foster. I love Foster – most recently in True Detective. What resonated with me most is the idea of simultaneously craving privacy and connection. I wonder if it resonates with you, too, if you have a blog. The idea of having someone I KNOW – even though that’s a silly categorization, because I know YOU so much better than so many people I see out in the three-dimensional world day-to-day – read my blog gives me hives. And yet I thrive on the connections I find here, in bloglandia, via our (in most cases) text-only relationships. It was validating and comforting to read about Foster, who seems to have a similar personality and a similar struggle with finding the balance between being known and being understood.

6. Instead of doing literally ANY of the things I need to do (which also include larger, longer-term projects that I did not list in bullet #1), I decided I would put together an old-school blogroll. And I DID, based on the very haphazard and unreliable methods I use to check blogs regularly. But then I could not figure out how to create a new page in WordPress. I mean. I think I *DID* create a new page in WordPress, but I don’t know where said page LIVES on my blog. So then I tried to add the new page to the menu, and got very confused, and this is all to say that I did not accomplish anything except a Word document listing many (but probably not all) of the blogs I read. SIGH.

7. In addition to cupcakes, I am contemplating another baked good. I recently enjoyed one of these muffins at a friend’s house. Subsequently, I found myself thinking about the muffin with such longing that I asked my friend for the recipe. But I have yet to break down and BAKE the muffins. So far. 

8. Swimsuit season is creeping ever closer. I will be spring breaking in a place that requires a swimsuit, so I am fretting abstractedly about swimsuits. I own a swimsuit, a black two piece that includes a top and a skirted bottom. To be honest, that is probably the swimsuit I will continue to wear. But I always find myself pining for a NEW swimsuit. It’s tough to find a suitable suit, or at least a suit I find remotely flattering, when I am self-conscious of my rather lumpy lower half. It’s not just that I’m a pear shape, although the top part of the pear grows ever wider with the passing years; it’s that my hips are not a nice pleasing curve from hipbone to thigh: there’s a divot in there. I believe the young people call it a “hip dip.” I have become convinced over the years by body positive Instagrammers that this is not, as some might say, my fault; this is how my body is shaped, and I cannot control it no matter how many squats I might do or how little I weigh. (The latter, I know for sure; I remember being a 100-pound active high school student and worrying about my “saddle bags.”) But my body shape still doesn’t lend itself to a lot of the more pleasing bathing suit styles. ANYWAY, we all have our Things, and this is (one of) mine. I guess I am just wondering, what does YOUR swimsuit look like? And what swimsuit are you ogling, in case the one you own suddenly bursts into spontaneous flame? 

9. My parents took me out to lunch for my birthday! It was SO DELIGHTFUL. I cannot remember the last time I celebrated my birthday with them?!? (Okay, yes I can; it was before Carla was born.) It was just the three of us and I felt very spoiled and loved and I cannot believe how lucky I am that they LIVE NEARBY. What a gift. I think we have settled into a good rhythm of seeing each other while allowing one another to Live Our Lives (although I would like to spend more one-on-one time with my mom). I hope I never take our time together for granted. 

Pile of presents from my family!!!! Plus Carla and I have been talking about our Future Hypothetical Cat, and decided that we want to name him Wallace and he will wear a monocle and will have coloring that makes him look like he’s wearing a white ascot and a brown or black suit jacket. Hence the picture she left for me this morning.

10. My holiday cards are still up. I don’t want to remove them, although my husband is making gentle noises indicating he is growing tired of them. I had enough this year to line the entire kitchen. I affixed them to the wall above the windows/doors and they make me so happy! We also still have hearts on all the walls, which also make me happy. Seeing as it’s still February, I don’t really feel a lot of pressure to remove the hearts. Perhaps I will take everything down right before Spring Break.

11. I have never really been a big Branded Handbag type of person. I don’t even really USE a handbag that much anymore. But I have recently found myself coveting a high-end handbag for myself. I blame this new desire on my choice to follow Class of Palm Beach on Instagram. Are you a handbag person? If you could get any fancy bag in the world, what would it be? A Birkin bag seems like the obvious choice, especially because they are considered a better investment than gold (!!!!), but it also sounds difficult to get your hands on one. (Please also keep in mind that there is no way I would ever buy a Birkin bag. This is pure idle fantasy.) 

Tulips! You can also sort of glimpse the hearts AND the holiday cards in the background.

Okay Internet. Tell me your favorite type of cupcakes and/or muffins. And please share all your magical body altering swimsuit choices with me as well. 

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Five for Friday + Mini Giveaway

1. For Valentine’s Day, I made two kinds of cookies. I had some leftover scraps of dough, so I cut out little hearts and whipped up a strawberry buttercream frosting and made little sandwiches. They were cute and tasty. Then I added a few cookies to these adorable plates I found at the grocery store of all places and gave them to a couple of local friends.

My husband and I exchanged cards and candy and we got Carla a bunch of candy and a little pink bunny. (Side note: I happened to be near a Kohl’s recently and went in, remembering the luck I’d had finding stocking stuffers there. They had one tiny Valentine’s Day display and the rest of the holiday products were related to Easter. And not just bunnies — they had a strange array of large, weary-looking pigs, which seems a little odd for Easter. I mean, I would look weary if I were a stuffed animal on display in a Kohl’s too, that’s gotta be a hard job, but they were not particularly cute or cuddly and really seemed like they were counting the hours until they could clock out. I DID find one small, pink bunny and snapped it up.) Carla also cut out a bunch of paper hearts and stuck them all over the walls of the house. It was adorable and the hearts are still up and may remain for months.

2. A recent parent interaction has me feeling cranky. And ranty, just to warn you. I was at a school event and several of us were discussing various challenges our kids are having, as one does, and the topic turned to leaving our kids at home alone. I was struck, once again, by how adamant some people are that their way is The Only Way. The comments ran the spectrum from, “Oh my gosh, I would NEVER leave a kid that age alone!” to “There is NO REASON a kid that age can’t stay at home by themselves for reasonable periods of time.” With equal emphasis and near outrage. 

I don’t know why, after nearly eleven years of being a parent, I am still surprised by people’s inability to consider the wide array of differences in our situations, upbringings, and specific children, but I guess I am. I’m guilty of it too – I still cringe, remembering how I’d mentioned to a friend that I OF COURSE make my child sit in the back seat because the American Pediatric Association says it’s best to have them sit in the backseat until age 13… and then she’d gently noted that her child is not yet 13 and sits in the passenger seat. Gah. When I KNOW that she is a wonderful, thoughtful parent and also know that MANY of my kid’s cohort sit in the front seat of their parents’ cars, for a wide variety of reasons I cannot begin to know because I am not them. (ALSO, lest you have a moment of panic about your own car-seating choices, the APA data on why age thirteen is a magical turning point for kids suddenly being safe to sit in the front seat is not super persuasive! I have read it!) 

Okay – there are obviously some parenting choices that are less safe than others; if we’re talking about an infant in the front seat, that would be different; if we’re talking about a child riding in a car without restraints, that would be different. But there are SO MANY things that have NO SINGLE RIGHT WAY and yet some people seem incapable of understanding that there are many equally fine ways to do a thing. 

This comes up every time I mention that my daughter needs melatonin to fall asleep. People have strong feelings about melatonin! As they should! And yet I have Reasons – and have carefully considered the angles and have consulted with multiple physicians and continually revisit whether it’s a good idea in our particular case for our particular child. It’s just so frustrating when someone says, “I would never give my kid melatonin” or “If she’s tired enough, she’ll fall asleep on her own” or “She clearly needs more physical activity during the day, that’ll help her sleep” as though they know. 

And this happens with everything! I have had people scold me for allowing my child to wash her own hair. Does she do a great job? Not particularly. But am I weighing Other Factors? YES. The ways we judge one another are endless! Food – frequency, type, preparation. Buying clothing at Target vs upscale department stores. Bedtime. Age-appropriate chores/responsibilities. Sleepovers. Access to devices. 

Screen time is a big one. For my particular kid, screens are a no-go on weekdays. There are REASONS for this. Do I despise screens? Not really, no. Would I love to be able to set her up with a TV show after school while I make dinner? Sure! Would it be much more convenient if I could say yes to her playing a video game after she does her homework? Definitely. BUT IT DOES NOT WORK FOR US. I have no concerns about YOUR family’s screen time choices. None! If your kid has unlimited screen time every day, I am sure that is a choice you made based on what’s best for your kid and your family. (Please note that I am aware too much screen time can have a negative impact on children. I am not advocating setting your three-year-old in front of a screen all day every day, although of course there are still probably Reasons someone might make that choice! Like if that is the only way you can work the job that allows you to feed your family or if you are so sick or pregnant you cannot do anything else or all sorts of other situations I know nothing about.) If you ask me about screen time for my kid, I am neither judging you for your own screen time limits nor inviting you to say, “Come on, an hour of Netflix after school isn’t going to hurt anyone.” 

I know I cannot SOLVE this problem, and all I can do is surround myself with people who say things like, “This is what we have found works for us,” and who don’t make black-and-white accusatory statements about what I SHOULD and SHOULD NOT be doing without having all the information I am trying to balance, but I am SO SICK OF IT. Listen. I am not saying that I am completely free of judgment. We all judge one another, to some extent, because usually we think our choices are The Right Ones. But… I try really hard to acknowledge that we all have different value systems and different priorities and that, mostly, we are all trying our very best. Also, we can all judge one another SILENTLY. It is hard enough to be a parent, turning to other parents for support about choices that you have made based on Reasons but maybe you aren’t really sure are the BEST choices, as in my case with the melatonin, you are just doing the best you can with the information you have, without having someone who is not an expert, especially on YOUR CHILD, say you are Doing It Wrong. 

Wow. I really got fired up about that. MOVING ON.

3. Accidental laundry efficiency hack? Laundry is my nemesis. I am pretty good about sorting the clothing into piles, and pretty good about putting the piles into the washing machine and washing them. I am less good about remembering to dry the freshly washed clothing, and then really terrible about folding the clothing. Yesterday, I had two loads of clean, dry laundry to fold and I was dreading it. I had a little more than twenty minutes before I needed to leave to pick up Carla from school and I just wanted to finish my book. So I made a deal with myself: I would set my timer for six minutes, and fold laundry until the timer went off. Then I would go read for fifteen minutes. Even a little progress on the laundry would make me feel better about it, I reasoned. Plus, sometimes if you get started on an onerous task, momentum will carry you through. I set my timer for six minutes, started folding… and FINISHED BOTH LOADS IN SIX MINUTES. How is that possible? In my head, folding laundry takes HOURS. But two loads took six minutes! (To be fair, I don’t fold all of Carla’s clothes, because a lot of them hang up in her closet. Also, I only put away my own laundry – my husband and Carla ostensibly move their clothes from my bed to their own drawers/hangers.) It was an astonishing and bolstering discovery. Has this new knowledge prompted me to fold the clean and dry load of laundry that is currently hanging out in the dryer? No, it has not.

4. How about a little mid-February giveaway? Amazon has issued me a refund for a product I did not return. I ordered a book and have not returned it; it’s right next to me as I type this. Nor have I returned anything else. And yet I got an email from Amazon saying they had processed my refund. I would like to pay for a product I received and kept, so I looked online at my options… and the only option I found (“cancel my return”) simply took me in a loop back to the returns page. I was able to chat with an associate, and they said I could keep the item. Seems like the perfect excuse to do a little giveaway. I have $14.40 in money that I should not have, which is the perfect amount for a paperback book that you’ve been meaning to read for a few years but haven’t gotten around to. If you want the chance to get a free paperback book, and are willing to share your address with me, let me know in the comments what backlist book you would order. I will randomly choose someone and send them the book of their choice, compliments of Amazon. Unfortunately, I will only be able to include US readers in this mini giveaway, which is a huge bummer. But if you are from outside the US, I am still interested in whatever backlist book you have been meaning to read but haven’t gotten to yet. Let’s say this giveaway is open until midnight on Monday, February 19 or until Feedly decides to say I wrote this post, whichever comes LAST.

5. I am suffering from home maintenance burnout. This past fall, when we moved to our new house, we had to do so many things, some elective, others more urgent… and I grew so very weary of all of them.  But that doesn’t mean we are DONE with the home maintenance issues. I feel like they continue to pile up. This includes things I knew about last year that I intentionally put off until the spring (getting a tree cut back, finding a pool person, getting our air ducts cleaned, looking into the carpenter bees issue with our roof) as well as things that have cropped up in the interim (some electrical issues, a leak in our furnace, also our furnace is making a weird noise, our doorbell is caput). But I am having such a mental block to doing the things. Maybe if I write about it here, the guilt and self-consciousness will spur me to schedule at least one of them? Maybe I need to apply my laundry efficiency hack to making home maintenance phone calls, somehow? (Except they always drag on so much longer than they should, and require research and multiple phone calls and visits. This is part of the problem.)

That’s all I have for today, Internet. Hope you have a wonderful weekend! 

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A Few Furniture Related Questions

We have come to the portion of Moving Into a New House where we are considering buying some new furniture. We have plenty of furniture, from the old house, but there are a few things that are missing from our collection. Plus, there are a few things that we’d prefer to replace because they just aren’t right for the current space.

The thing is, we have never really had to buy furniture before. We are deeply spoiled: most of the furniture in our house was handed down to us by my husband’s parents, who have moved several times over the years and who accompanied each move with gifts of furniture. Hand-me-downs from my in laws include two couches, two loveseats, an armchair, a kitchen table, The Piece, a desk, some filing cabinets, a baby grand piano, and lots of artwork. I know. We are very, very lucky.

This means that, aside from purchasing two bedroom sets and assorted furniture for our child, we have no experience buying furniture. But… buying furniture is kind of hard? And unpleasant? Like, how many couches do you have to sit on before you decide that THIS ONE is the right combination of firm and comfortable, that it is formal enough for the space, that it will fit in the room, that the quality is good, that the price is reasonable? And then you have to choose the fabric?! Yikes.

In an instance of great good fortune, my friend Jen (HI JEN) happened to send me a photo of her couch (it wasn’t really of her couch, it was of her beautiful and charming children), and I asked about it (because it looked comfy but also aesthetically pleasing) and she gave me the details. And THEN our local Macy’s had several of the very same couch IN STOCK. There was only one person working in the entire Macy’s so my husband and daughter and I were able to sit on all the different options and examine the different sectional combinations and look at all the fabric samples completely unbothered by salespeople or other customers. With Jen’s assurance that this couch is a good couch, and the evidence of our own sitting, we are now going to order this couch. SO. That’s one big thing to check off the list.

But we have other furniture needs and I don’t really know where to begin. You have Furniture Opinions, yes? Because I need your input please.

• Where do you get lamps? We have looked at Target, and the lamps are… limited, and also a lot of them look kind of cheap. I am aware that Target does HAVE perfectly acceptable lamps; our old bedside table lamps were from Target, and they lasted a long time and I liked them just fine. We would not be looking for new beside table lamps had I not broken mine during the move. I have been suffering for my sins, lampless, since August. I looked at Crate and Barrel for lamps and it seems like you can’t get a lamp for less than $100, which is far more than I feel like I want to spend on a lamp. So maybe my question is not, “where do you get lamps?” but “where do you get nice, sturdy, aesthetically pleasing lamps that aren’t a million dollars?”

This lamp costs $350! $350!!!!!!

• What is the deal with slipcovers? My husband and I had a hand-me-down loveseat in our bedroom for twelve years. Neither of us noticed until now that the loveseat is wearing a slipcover. The slipcover is not, as I would have assumed, covering anything; I would have thought you would have purchased a slipcover to conceal a fabric you no longer liked, for instance. But now that we KNOW, we feel like we might want to get a new slipcover. One that is more our style. That is as far as I’ve gone with this line of thinking because I don’t really know where to go next. And also, are we stuck with the skirt part?

Sheesh this is a terrible photo. And I couldn’t even straighten the cushions before taking the picture? YIKES. P.S. The side table is a hand-me-down and I hate it so much. I can’t even articulate why. I just HATE IT. But it has utility so I haven’t yet donated it. The lamp in this photo came from World Market, which no longer exists in our city.

• Do you have a yoga mat you’d recommend? Does a yoga mat count as furniture? Let’s pretend it does for the sake of not wanting to revise the post title. One of my favorite parts of the new house is a dedicated room for exercise. But the flooring is Very Hard; my princessy bones have apparently grown accustomed to working out on a yoga mat on top of a plush carpet, and my tailbone and shoulder blades scream at me if I try to work out on a yoga mat on top of the floor. My solution was to get a nice thick yoga mat from Amazon. But, while the new mat is technically thicker than my old yoga mat, the material is much squishier, so it is not any more comfortable than what I already have. I tried to stack the yoga mats, one on top of each other, but they slide around. What I really want is a GIANT yoga mat that is also thick. Does such a thing exist? Rephrase: Does such a thing exist for under a million dollars?

Another terrible photo! And the floor is so dirty! Mainly because we had boxes filling this room until three days ago. But also because it is surprisingly difficult to clean this kind of flooring. Also, my husband and I discovered that the bottoms of his shoes, which are highlighter yellow, are shedding when he walks on the treadmill, leaving two yellowish tracks on the treadmill belt and a film of yellow dust on the floor. So weird.

Those are the most pressing furniture questions I have at the moment. Don’t even get me started on end tables. I think we’ll need at least one – maybe two – for the upstairs living room. We will also need couches and chairs and a rug for that space, but we’re living with our old hand-me-down couch and no rug for now. I don’t have the mental fortitude for ordering more than one couch at a time.

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Kid Bedroom Makeover

One of the few only FUN things about buying a new house is designing all the new spaces. And it has been (mainly) fun to pick out paint colors and new flooring. But what I am really excited about is making these new rooms match up to the vision in my mind.

I think my daughter’s room will be the first room to be the most finished. We are in the process of painting her walls, which is very exciting, and then we can decorate her bedroom.

Some point last spring, Carla decided that her favorite color was no longer black, it’s turquoise. Which thrills me, by the way. Not that buying all-black clothing didn’t have a lot of benefits. But I love the color turquoise and I’m really excited that she loves such a fun, vibrant color.

Since she’s on the cusp of teenagery (gulp!), I am also hoping that we can decorate her room in a way that feels fun and Age Ten Appropriate, but will easily transition into the teen years with her.

For the wall colors, we are going with black and white. Yes, I know I just said that Carla’s favorite color is no longer black. But when my husband and I were going to open houses last spring, we saw a teen bedroom that was TO DIE FOR and we immediately knew that Carla would love it. So one wall of Carla’s room will be black and the rest of the walls will be bright white. All of her existing furniture (desk, bed, dresser, and bookcase) are white. And then we’ll accent everything with turquoise.

The only problem with turquoise, I find, is that there are so many varieties of the color. Where does aqua begin and turquoise end? I do not know. So finding colors that match is tricky. Finding colors that coordinate is less tricky, but it does seem like there are opportunities for clashing.

Here’s sort of what the paint result will look like (except her room is bigger than this space, so there’s more white than in this photo):

image from home-designing.com

Now for the fun part. All the accessories that will make her room super cool and cozy!

Bedding: Getting Carla a new comforter and pillowcases is going to be the easiest way to add color to her room. I love this duvet cover: simple and vibrant.

image from amazon.com

But this duvet cover is so fun. I love how colorful it is. I wonder if Carla would think it’s too babyish?

image from amazon.com

If she prefers a solid color, I also like this option, but the color may be a little too intense.

image from macys.com

Oh wow, I am in love with the soft color and amazing texture of this quilt set.

image from pbteen.com

I also think it might be fun to have some black throw pillows (with inserts).

image from amazon.com

Oooh… or these pillow cases are furry!

image from amazon.com

This throw/blanket is super pretty. I realize none of these things work together, but… I will figure that out in time.

image from target.com

Desk: Carla’s old desk is a remnant from the pandemic. It worked great for her during Zoom School, and she has used it plenty for drawing, but now it’s time to get her a real Big Kid desk.

I like this desk a lot, but the price tag makes me want to die.

image from pbteen.com

This is a smaller version of the same desk, but it also seems WAY TOO EXPENSIVE for what it is.

image from pbteen.com

This desk is much more budget friendly, although I have no experience of buying things from Wayfair.

image from wayfair.com

Desk Chair: I love this turquoise desk chair. We will probably have to get a plastic chair mat/carpet protector to go under it though, since it has wheels.

image from amazon.com

This desk chair is cute and seems a little more pre-teen-ish than the other option. No arms though… which is good for practicing the guitar, but I’m not sure if it’s great for studying?

image from wayfair.com

Or she can use the ball chair that we got her during the remote learning days. It’s a very light turquoise (much lighter than the image leads you to believe), so it still works with the color scheme.

image from amazon.com

Lighting: I love this aqua desk lamp, although it is sadly out of stock.

image from wayfair.com

Here’s a sort of similar lamp from Bed Bath & Beyond.

image from bedbathandbeyond.com

I like the unusual shape of this lamp’s base.

image from wayfair.com

While I am mostly opposed to elaborate light fixtures because they seem like a dust-attracting nightmare, this black beaded chandelier is pretty cool.

image from amazon.com

For a less dust-magnetic option, this stained-glass style fixture is pretty and different.

image from lampsplus.com

This bedside table lamp is really fun, although I don’t know if I love the wooden base.

image from amazon.com

Comfy Seating: I think Carla would get a big kick out of this beanbag chair. I can picture her curling up in it to read.

image from amazon.com

From a practicality-meets-cute standpoint, I am loving this futon. It’s the right color, it folds up into a chair, but it can fold out into a twin bed for the inevitable future sleepovers. Or at the very least, her cousin can use it when she visits us for holidays.

image from amazon.com

I also like this armchair. Is it maybe a little too grown up?

image from amazon.com

Wall Décor: I think it will be useful to break up the white walls a bit with some pops of color.

I LOVE this backlit mirror, although there is no way it will fit our budget. (We do not yet have a budget for Carla’s room; this is just the brainstorming, anything goes, phase.) (Why are mirrors so $$$$$?)

image from pbteen.com

A full-length mirror would be more practical than a pricey wall mirror. This one is the right color (though not in stock); I will keep looking.

image from amazon.com

This clock is cool. Perhaps it would inspire Carla to be on time more often??? I can’t deal with clocks because the ticking sound overwhelms me, but a) I am probably an anomaly and b) this is supposed to be a quiet, tick-free clock.

image from amazon.com

I don’t quite know how I will feel about these wall decals in practice, but they are COOL and the exact right colors and I bet Carla would love tossing them up on one of her walls.

image from amazon.com

Here’s another thing that seems cool as an idea, but I’m not sure I’d love it in reality: a custom neon wall sign. This one has an ice blue option that seems like it would color coordinate with Carla’s room… but… what would it say? Where would it go? Would there be unsightly cords all over the place?

image from etsy.com

I am in love with these wall butterflies. But I’m betting they collect a lot of dust.

image from amazon.com

Curtains: The new house came with blinds on all the windows, so window are pretty much already covered (pun), but… It might be fun to have black blackout curtains???? I mean, how dramatic are these?!

image from amazon.com

Or oh my gosh, these ombre blackout curtains are SO FUN. Pretty and breezy and cool.

image from pbteen.com

Towels: I would also love to get Carla a set of new towels. Turquoise… but maybe also a set of purple ones? For guests? (Her bathroom will be pale purple.)

image from amazon.com

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Five Woes and Five Wows

“Are you loving the new house?!” This is the most common question I get these days, and it’s posed in an excited, expectant way. People are so happy for us! They are so excited to see the new place and hear all about how much we are loving it!

Well. It has been one month since we moved into our new house, and in general I feel like it’s been a huge, expensive, horrible mistake. This is supposed to be our dream house, our forever house, and I am instead feeling like we uprooted our happy, perfectly wonderful life for nothing. No, worse than nothing. We replaced something not-perfect-but-pretty-great with a money-sucking monster that we drastically overpaid for. I have been feeling so negative about the house and so overwhelmed with all the minutiae of moving and so guilty for feeling so disgruntled over something I CHOSE, ON PURPOSE, something I should feel grateful for and appreciative of, that I’ve had neither time nor inclination to blog. 

I also feel guilty for getting so bent out of shape about what are very minor things. I know this! It’s not like we are lacking clean water. We aren’t dealing with family tragedy, we have food and shelter. All the REAL needs are being addressed, and I know – I know – we are super fortunate to have this house at all, and to have savings to apply toward fixing it up. Plus, we had a home inspection and the house is FINE, overall. It just feels like death by a thousand paper cuts, you know? Like I could deal with a corroded shower handle, and deal with replacing it… but then when the grill doesn’t work and the refrigerator leaks every time you open it and the oven makes a horrific rattling noise when it reaches temperature and half the light switches make a sizzly I-am-about-to-shock-you noise when you flip them and the other half seem to operate nothing at all and the garage door suddenly won’t close AT ALL, it feels like everything is falling apart. Plus, everything – EVERYTHING – seems to be at least $3500 to address. Every estimate we get is right around that price point, as though all the service companies in the state got together and decided that this would be the standard starting fee for any and every type of service. $3500 is not nothing! 

This week, I’ve been able to dip my toe back into blog reading, and I do want to get back to blog writing. But it feels like all the negativity is clogging up my writing pipes. I think the only way to move forward is to write it all down. Even though it will sound whiny and self-pitying and unrelatable.

But! If you want to skip all the negativity (and I don’t blame you – there’s enough in the intro paragraphs of this post already), I did force myself, Elisabeth-style, to come up with some things that are bringing me joy and giving me hope that this low phase is indeed temporary. 

Five Woes (and I recognize that I am tremendously lucky to be able to complain about these things)

5. Phone Calls and Appointments. I have made approximately five million phone calls and endured five thousand service appointments in the new house and spent an obscene amount of money. There are things that we chose to do, like installing new floors and asking an electrician to estimate the cost for installing an outlet in the floor of the living room and changing the locks and hiring someone to rein in the overgrown landscaping. There are things we had to do, like replace my daughter’s leaking trim kit in her shower, and install a pressure regulating valve on our water line, and replace the failing pool heater, and fix the garage door that refused to close. There are things that were supposed to be “free” (or covered under our membership plan), like flushing our water heater and getting a clean and check of our furnace, which both uncovered things that need to be taken care of. There are things that are still in the works, like installing a security/fire safety system and getting our air ducts cleaned. There are things I never ever would have wanted to spend money on, like hiring an exterminator to get rid of all the mice in our basement (yuck) or inviting a bat guy to assess and address our bat problem (wtf). I have had to be available between 8:00 and 12:00 pretty much every single day since we moved here, which is annoying and hard to schedule my life around. 

4. Critter Corpses. Mice – five of them, three in traps the exterminator set after we discovered our mouse problem and two in our furnace intake valve, which the very nice HVAC person found and disposed of. Chipmunk – one, drowned in the pool. Frog – one, same fate. Bat – only one (so far) thank everything – in our basement, which the very unflappable plumber discovered and removed when he was installing the new pressure regulator. 

3. Cold or Allergies? I have been sneezing nearly nonstop since we moved here. Early on, the sneezing developed into what seemed like a genuine cold: fever, runny nose, general crankiness. (Covid tests were negative.) But while the cold ended two weeks ago, I am still sniffly and sneezy and my head is stuffy and I feel ever-so-slightly like I need my inhaler. The previous owners had dogs and I really think that I am allergic to this house. We replaced all the flooring on the first and second floors, getting rid of all the threadbare, mismatched carpet… but the carpet in the basement was in great shape, so we just got it cleaned… and I’m afraid that was a mistake and we should have replaced it as well. I’m hoping that cleaning the air ducts will help, but I’m waiting on another estimate before we schedule it.

2. Commute. Our previous house was, on the worst, most-trafficky days, seven minutes away from my daughter’s school, so my daily commute was 28 minutes total (not counting after school activities). Our current commute is nearly four times as long (not counting after school activities), which means I am spending roughly two hours in the car each day. I am listening to a good number of audiobooks, but sheesh. 

1. New Car. This has been the most expensive summer of our lives, so why not add a new car to the mix? My lease is about to end, and being a one-car family is not workable for us. But this is pretty much the worst time (ever????) to buy a new car, as inventory is nonexistent and prices are high. It would be prohibitively expensive to buy out my lease, so we are planning to lease another vehicle… but the current lease deals are also SO EXPENSIVE. (Nearly double the cost for a similar vehicle to what I drive now.) Plus, while my preference would be to lease the exact same car I drive now, there are none of that model available. So we are going with a totally different vehicle and even though it gets great ratings and I enjoyed driving it, I am not great with change. Plus, I am having trouble communicating with the salesperson, who seemed very eager to work with us at first, but now seems to have ghosted me??? And yes, I realize we could just get a smaller, less expensive vehicle so a lot of this woe is our own damn fault.

0. No One Calls Me Back!!!!! You might expect that with so many service appointments, this would be hyperbole… And I suppose it is. But it feels like no one will return my calls. I have filled out so many online estimate requests that go completely unanswered and left so many voicemails that go unreturned. A person from one of the landscaping/snow removal companies I called returned my call FOUR WEEKS after I’d asked for an estimate, and then when I told her we’d gone with someone else (the one person who did get back to me – this is now the bar: respond to me and I will pay you money!), wanted to tell me about all the things that had prevented her from returning my call right away. People who said they would send me estimates have never sent them. The salesperson who was going to lease us our car stopped responding to my texts and didn’t return my voicemails. WHAT IS HAPPENING. I get that there are ongoing staffing issues, but… how are businesses operating???

Five Wows

1. The Pool. Longtime readers may recall that having a pool was one of my wishlist items for my dream house. Since the pandemic, I’ve really come to realize how much we depend on our home to provide space for everything from exercise to entertainment to comfort. Plus, we still lean toward entertaining outdoors. So having a pool was definitely on my list. (“Be careful what you wish for” has been a cruelly gleeful refrain in my brain these days.) This house has nearly everything on the wishlist, including a pool. And, while taking care of a pool and getting it serviced is a massive headache, it is also one of my favorite things about this house because it makes Carla SO HAPPY. Since it’s the end of the pool season, we have been able to find pool toys for cheap and she is loving her inflatable shark and her scuba gear and her treasure chest of jewels to dive for. Fall has been very mild so far, so we are still enjoying pool time and it makes me so happy to see her enjoying herself so much. Plus, I have dreams of being the Teen Hangout House when Carla gets older, and I feel like a pool could be very attractive to her friends.  

2. The Commute. Even though I hate driving on the freeway and I feel like I’m at the gas station way too often, I am surprised to find that I otherwise love the commute. Carla is so charming and energetic in the mornings. She is usually quite chatty and I get all sorts of tidbits about what’s going on her brain and at school. We often listen to the Kid Nuz podcast and that opens up all sorts of interesting topics for discussion. After school, she’s more subdued and worn out from the day, so we often listen to classical music or maybe stop at Starbucks on the way to her music lesson. I am loving this focused time with her, with none of the usual distractions of laundry or dinner or my phone. (Plus, as I mentioned before, all this time in the car means I am listening to a ton of audiobooks. I listened to eight of them in September alone, which is a lot for me.)

3. My Parents and My Husband. It seems like something goes wrong every single day at this house. (Yesterday: the gas line started making a weird noise.) I am stressed and worried about money. I feel like Tom Hanks in The Money Pit, with the hysterical seal-laugh and all, but my husband is being so calm and optimistic. He says soothing things like, “We’re just taking care of everything up front so we can enjoy the house for the long run!” and “These are all little things, and we will fix them.” and “We are going to enjoy this house, this is just a rough patch.” It is buoying and gives me strength. My parents, likewise, are being so matter-of-fact about everything. The mouse thing really shook me, I think because I expected to move into this brand-new house and found out it was full of mouse poop and scurrying critters. But my mom reminds me that I grew up in the country and mice are just Part Of Rural Living. She’s very blasé about the bat, too – bats eat mosquitos, after all. My dad inspects or fixes things every time he’s here, and is available by text when I need to ask whether I should call the gas company (yes) or just not worry about the weird squeak click click coming from the meter. He and my husband removed all the awful curtains and reattached the cupboards to my daughter’s vanity. He tested the bathroom fan to see if it is fixable and offers suggestions for how to deal with day-to-day issues and is helping me address the mouse entry points. My parents took Carla on a hike and picnic the other day! They come over to hang out by the pool occasionally! When I need a babysitter, I just ask them and they say yes! It is so nice to have them here. 

4. New Neighbors. One of the hardest parts of leaving our old house was leaving our neighbors (and their dogs). We haven’t met everyone on our street yet, but we have met three of the nearest neighbors, and they all seem super nice. The across-the-street neighbors are SO lovely. They invited us to a backyard dinner (and by the way, they are extraordinary cooks!) and introduced us to a bunch of people who live in the neighborhood. Best of all, they have three children who have been so friendly and welcoming to Carla. She has already been over to their house countless times, has walked their dog, and has invited the kids over to play games at our house. One afternoon, the kids’ parent took all of them plus Carla to the park. I am LOVING THIS. I want kids running in and out of my house. I want Carla to have friends nearby. 

5. All the Trees. This is my backyard. Do you see how one tree is wearing a scarlet sweater???!!!! I look outside and I walk around our yard, clipping some of the beautiful dahlias the previous owners planted, and I feel so peaceful. 

(Until the next serviceperson arrives, or I get an email with the next $3500 proposal for work to be done. Oh look. Here’s the estimate from the bat guy. Do I want more bats, or do I want to pay $3,675 for bat prevention measures?) 

What’s the occasion for your current pity party? Lay it on me.

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