“Are you loving the new house?!” This is the most common question I get these days, and it’s posed in an excited, expectant way. People are so happy for us! They are so excited to see the new place and hear all about how much we are loving it!
Well. It has been one month since we moved into our new house, and in general I feel like it’s been a huge, expensive, horrible mistake. This is supposed to be our dream house, our forever house, and I am instead feeling like we uprooted our happy, perfectly wonderful life for nothing. No, worse than nothing. We replaced something not-perfect-but-pretty-great with a money-sucking monster that we drastically overpaid for. I have been feeling so negative about the house and so overwhelmed with all the minutiae of moving and so guilty for feeling so disgruntled over something I CHOSE, ON PURPOSE, something I should feel grateful for and appreciative of, that I’ve had neither time nor inclination to blog.
I also feel guilty for getting so bent out of shape about what are very minor things. I know this! It’s not like we are lacking clean water. We aren’t dealing with family tragedy, we have food and shelter. All the REAL needs are being addressed, and I know – I know – we are super fortunate to have this house at all, and to have savings to apply toward fixing it up. Plus, we had a home inspection and the house is FINE, overall. It just feels like death by a thousand paper cuts, you know? Like I could deal with a corroded shower handle, and deal with replacing it… but then when the grill doesn’t work and the refrigerator leaks every time you open it and the oven makes a horrific rattling noise when it reaches temperature and half the light switches make a sizzly I-am-about-to-shock-you noise when you flip them and the other half seem to operate nothing at all and the garage door suddenly won’t close AT ALL, it feels like everything is falling apart. Plus, everything – EVERYTHING – seems to be at least $3500 to address. Every estimate we get is right around that price point, as though all the service companies in the state got together and decided that this would be the standard starting fee for any and every type of service. $3500 is not nothing!
This week, I’ve been able to dip my toe back into blog reading, and I do want to get back to blog writing. But it feels like all the negativity is clogging up my writing pipes. I think the only way to move forward is to write it all down. Even though it will sound whiny and self-pitying and unrelatable.
But! If you want to skip all the negativity (and I don’t blame you – there’s enough in the intro paragraphs of this post already), I did force myself, Elisabeth-style, to come up with some things that are bringing me joy and giving me hope that this low phase is indeed temporary.
Five Woes (and I recognize that I am tremendously lucky to be able to complain about these things)
5. Phone Calls and Appointments. I have made approximately five million phone calls and endured five thousand service appointments in the new house and spent an obscene amount of money. There are things that we chose to do, like installing new floors and asking an electrician to estimate the cost for installing an outlet in the floor of the living room and changing the locks and hiring someone to rein in the overgrown landscaping. There are things we had to do, like replace my daughter’s leaking trim kit in her shower, and install a pressure regulating valve on our water line, and replace the failing pool heater, and fix the garage door that refused to close. There are things that were supposed to be “free” (or covered under our membership plan), like flushing our water heater and getting a clean and check of our furnace, which both uncovered things that need to be taken care of. There are things that are still in the works, like installing a security/fire safety system and getting our air ducts cleaned. There are things I never ever would have wanted to spend money on, like hiring an exterminator to get rid of all the mice in our basement (yuck) or inviting a bat guy to assess and address our bat problem (wtf). I have had to be available between 8:00 and 12:00 pretty much every single day since we moved here, which is annoying and hard to schedule my life around.
4. Critter Corpses. Mice – five of them, three in traps the exterminator set after we discovered our mouse problem and two in our furnace intake valve, which the very nice HVAC person found and disposed of. Chipmunk – one, drowned in the pool. Frog – one, same fate. Bat – only one (so far) thank everything – in our basement, which the very unflappable plumber discovered and removed when he was installing the new pressure regulator.
3. Cold or Allergies? I have been sneezing nearly nonstop since we moved here. Early on, the sneezing developed into what seemed like a genuine cold: fever, runny nose, general crankiness. (Covid tests were negative.) But while the cold ended two weeks ago, I am still sniffly and sneezy and my head is stuffy and I feel ever-so-slightly like I need my inhaler. The previous owners had dogs and I really think that I am allergic to this house. We replaced all the flooring on the first and second floors, getting rid of all the threadbare, mismatched carpet… but the carpet in the basement was in great shape, so we just got it cleaned… and I’m afraid that was a mistake and we should have replaced it as well. I’m hoping that cleaning the air ducts will help, but I’m waiting on another estimate before we schedule it.
2. Commute. Our previous house was, on the worst, most-trafficky days, seven minutes away from my daughter’s school, so my daily commute was 28 minutes total (not counting after school activities). Our current commute is nearly four times as long (not counting after school activities), which means I am spending roughly two hours in the car each day. I am listening to a good number of audiobooks, but sheesh.
1. New Car. This has been the most expensive summer of our lives, so why not add a new car to the mix? My lease is about to end, and being a one-car family is not workable for us. But this is pretty much the worst time (ever????) to buy a new car, as inventory is nonexistent and prices are high. It would be prohibitively expensive to buy out my lease, so we are planning to lease another vehicle… but the current lease deals are also SO EXPENSIVE. (Nearly double the cost for a similar vehicle to what I drive now.) Plus, while my preference would be to lease the exact same car I drive now, there are none of that model available. So we are going with a totally different vehicle and even though it gets great ratings and I enjoyed driving it, I am not great with change. Plus, I am having trouble communicating with the salesperson, who seemed very eager to work with us at first, but now seems to have ghosted me??? And yes, I realize we could just get a smaller, less expensive vehicle so a lot of this woe is our own damn fault.
0. No One Calls Me Back!!!!! You might expect that with so many service appointments, this would be hyperbole… And I suppose it is. But it feels like no one will return my calls. I have filled out so many online estimate requests that go completely unanswered and left so many voicemails that go unreturned. A person from one of the landscaping/snow removal companies I called returned my call FOUR WEEKS after I’d asked for an estimate, and then when I told her we’d gone with someone else (the one person who did get back to me – this is now the bar: respond to me and I will pay you money!), wanted to tell me about all the things that had prevented her from returning my call right away. People who said they would send me estimates have never sent them. The salesperson who was going to lease us our car stopped responding to my texts and didn’t return my voicemails. WHAT IS HAPPENING. I get that there are ongoing staffing issues, but… how are businesses operating???
Five Wows
1. The Pool. Longtime readers may recall that having a pool was one of my wishlist items for my dream house. Since the pandemic, I’ve really come to realize how much we depend on our home to provide space for everything from exercise to entertainment to comfort. Plus, we still lean toward entertaining outdoors. So having a pool was definitely on my list. (“Be careful what you wish for” has been a cruelly gleeful refrain in my brain these days.) This house has nearly everything on the wishlist, including a pool. And, while taking care of a pool and getting it serviced is a massive headache, it is also one of my favorite things about this house because it makes Carla SO HAPPY. Since it’s the end of the pool season, we have been able to find pool toys for cheap and she is loving her inflatable shark and her scuba gear and her treasure chest of jewels to dive for. Fall has been very mild so far, so we are still enjoying pool time and it makes me so happy to see her enjoying herself so much. Plus, I have dreams of being the Teen Hangout House when Carla gets older, and I feel like a pool could be very attractive to her friends.
2. The Commute. Even though I hate driving on the freeway and I feel like I’m at the gas station way too often, I am surprised to find that I otherwise love the commute. Carla is so charming and energetic in the mornings. She is usually quite chatty and I get all sorts of tidbits about what’s going on her brain and at school. We often listen to the Kid Nuz podcast and that opens up all sorts of interesting topics for discussion. After school, she’s more subdued and worn out from the day, so we often listen to classical music or maybe stop at Starbucks on the way to her music lesson. I am loving this focused time with her, with none of the usual distractions of laundry or dinner or my phone. (Plus, as I mentioned before, all this time in the car means I am listening to a ton of audiobooks. I listened to eight of them in September alone, which is a lot for me.)
3. My Parents and My Husband. It seems like something goes wrong every single day at this house. (Yesterday: the gas line started making a weird noise.) I am stressed and worried about money. I feel like Tom Hanks in The Money Pit, with the hysterical seal-laugh and all, but my husband is being so calm and optimistic. He says soothing things like, “We’re just taking care of everything up front so we can enjoy the house for the long run!” and “These are all little things, and we will fix them.” and “We are going to enjoy this house, this is just a rough patch.” It is buoying and gives me strength. My parents, likewise, are being so matter-of-fact about everything. The mouse thing really shook me, I think because I expected to move into this brand-new house and found out it was full of mouse poop and scurrying critters. But my mom reminds me that I grew up in the country and mice are just Part Of Rural Living. She’s very blasé about the bat, too – bats eat mosquitos, after all. My dad inspects or fixes things every time he’s here, and is available by text when I need to ask whether I should call the gas company (yes) or just not worry about the weird squeak click click coming from the meter. He and my husband removed all the awful curtains and reattached the cupboards to my daughter’s vanity. He tested the bathroom fan to see if it is fixable and offers suggestions for how to deal with day-to-day issues and is helping me address the mouse entry points. My parents took Carla on a hike and picnic the other day! They come over to hang out by the pool occasionally! When I need a babysitter, I just ask them and they say yes! It is so nice to have them here.
4. New Neighbors. One of the hardest parts of leaving our old house was leaving our neighbors (and their dogs). We haven’t met everyone on our street yet, but we have met three of the nearest neighbors, and they all seem super nice. The across-the-street neighbors are SO lovely. They invited us to a backyard dinner (and by the way, they are extraordinary cooks!) and introduced us to a bunch of people who live in the neighborhood. Best of all, they have three children who have been so friendly and welcoming to Carla. She has already been over to their house countless times, has walked their dog, and has invited the kids over to play games at our house. One afternoon, the kids’ parent took all of them plus Carla to the park. I am LOVING THIS. I want kids running in and out of my house. I want Carla to have friends nearby.
5. All the Trees. This is my backyard. Do you see how one tree is wearing a scarlet sweater???!!!! I look outside and I walk around our yard, clipping some of the beautiful dahlias the previous owners planted, and I feel so peaceful.
(Until the next serviceperson arrives, or I get an email with the next $3500 proposal for work to be done. Oh look. Here’s the estimate from the bat guy. Do I want more bats, or do I want to pay $3,675 for bat prevention measures?)
What’s the occasion for your current pity party? Lay it on me.
I love reading about all your woes as well as the good stuff. It’s real life! We had bats in our house and we had to install these bat tube things where the bats can leave but can’t come back in and voila! No more bats ever! One day you will have fixed most of the house problems and you will be enjoying the home you’ve created so much, it ‘s just a journey 🙂
Thanks, Colleen — it IS real life, isn’t it? It just feels ungrateful sometimes LOL. Bat tubes! Yes! I love “voila! no more bats!” That’s the hope. 🙂
Well, the best thing that’s happened so far today was getting a new blog post from you! The internet has missed you.
Moving is a major life stress. There’s no getting around it. The only good thing that you can say is that the move is complete and someday the money drain will stop. IT SUCKS. And also WTF with people who don’t call back and don’t answer emails???????? And also I’m fascinated – could it be that not calling back and not answering emails is the key to success in life since other people are able to do it? Hmmmm…..
I’ve been in a funk for the past few weeks. I feel like it might be lifting and there’s some exciting stuff happening in the next few days by overall I feel blerg. Yes I have running water and a roof over my head but sometimes I kinda need more, you know,
Awww thanks Birchie. The thought of not returning a call or email makes me SO anxious! How are these people doing this?!? Maybe it is the key to a successful and stress free life. 🙂
I am so thrilled at the prospect that your funk might be lifting and that you have exciting things going on! I cannot wait to hear all about it!!!!
You’re back!! Yay! So jelly of the pool. Completely get this feeling you describe that keeps you from blogging and cannot wait to hear more– good AND bad.
The pool should be so great, once we get it under control!!!! Time will tell whether it is smart to have a pool that we can use a mere 3-4 months a year though. 😉
How overwhelming! Getting hit with all of this at once would be disheartening indeed. Once the negatives are dealt with, you’ll be able to enjoy the positives more–just getting through those sounds like a chore though.
One step a time, right?!
I had panic attacks and hated my house when we moved in- and had to fix SO many things… it took me so long to feel like it was home, but gosh it did all work out and I love it- hoping that turn comes for you too!
But the TREES! Good gosh those trees are worth all the money!
Oh this is so heartening! Hopefully we will get to the point of loving it and feeling like it’s home.
It will, you’re just a loyal person is all- it’s hard to change what feels like “home” so quickly! Plus mice and dread at the annoyances and expenses. The old house had annoyances and expenses too though… I had to keep reminding myself of that fact when getting the new house’s tub re-enameled, redoing the counters, roof, and requiring the fire alarms, etc. it will be okay though, promise!
The first six months we moved into our house, we were just hemorrhaging money like we were related to Scrooge McDuck. I know that it seems like it will never end, but I promise you that it WILL end and it will seem like home and all the quirks will be just quirks. Also, I recommend a cat to get rid of mice.
(All the bats in our state are endangered, so you can’t kill them. We had a bat in our attic and it literally cost us about $1000 so that they could put little cage-things around our roofline that would let the bat out, but not let it back in. No one told me that bat removal would be such a huge part of home ownership.)
I am so glad you wrote this, though, because I had a “email Suzanne re: comment on blog” on my to-do list today and now I don’t have to send you an email! You’re doing great! You’re going to get through this tough time and it will be better than ever!
It is somehow quite comforting to know that the feeling of hemorrhaging money after a move isn’t unique to me. Disturbing. But comforting. I would LOVE to get a cat. I am severely allergic to cats. But still considering!!!
Why is bat prevention so expensive?!
I’m sorry that this house isn’t what you’d hoped it’d be. It sounds like it has its issues, that maybe will be addressed to your satisfaction? Fingers crossed. And if not, well… once upon a time we made a horrible mistake when we bought a house… so we bite the bullet and sold it within the year… moving on. Not saying that’s your solution but please know that you’re not alone in experiencing what you are enduring.
That is both a deeply comforting and hugely terrifying thought, the idea of moving again. BUT. It is an option. This is not a permanent decision, and I am soothed that you did it and it seems to have worked out for the best!
We’ve been waiting to hear from you but, oh, I wasn’t expecting this post. I’m sorry you’re feeling stressed by your new house. I get it. I actually remember this very same reaction when Swistle moved, do you? She was sure she’d made a huge mistake at first.
It will pass, you’re getting all the things done (so impressive that you’re handling it all)! And I loved your “5 Wows” — they really are wow! Esp. the neighbors situation!!
Hang in there.
The neighbors situation really is SO great! I am so pleased and relieved.
Oh, I have SO MUCH sympathy for all of this. Everyone thinks we should like our new house (5 years at this point, so not really new) so much better than our old house, and there are many many reasons I OUGHT TO, but actually I preferred our old house. Though if we moved back there now, maybe not??? Maybe I just hate everything all the time?? It is so hard to know. And we too have had almost no luck getting anyone to come to our house to receive money to provide a service they offer. It is ODD.
“Maybe I just hate everything all the time??” Right? Yes, I worry that same thing. It’s ME, I am unpleasable and ungrateful and entitled and spoiled.
It is so hard to pay people to do the service they provide. So hard.
Oh Suzanne, like I said, when we moved into our Calgary house I cried every day for three weeks. And then I just cried intermittently after that. We had to have the guy who does the gas meter reading come in for some reason, and he told me something needed to be moved, and I just burst into tears on the spot. The house was just a giant money pit sucking all our time and energy, as well as funds. There was just thing after thing after thing. The yard and garden were completely overgrown. The house was FILTHY when we moved in. We had to paint, and scrape off wallpaper which was papered onto actual drywall, everything was just SO MUCH. I missed my little tiny apartment so very much. But then, once we had done a lot of the work, I started to like the house, and then love it.
On the upside, a pool is my dream too! And you have one, so I’ll be right there. Seriously though, your house will definitely be hangout central, which is glorious.
Ha – yes. I have burst into tears or barely concealed my sobs on the phone/in person with MANY PEOPLE. It is alarming, quite possibly to them as well.
DON’T GET A POOL, NICOLE. IT IS NOT WORTH IT. (I am hoping some day it will be worth it.)
Also also also, in our BRAND NEW place we had issues last year with the heat pump (thankfully my SIL was checking on it when we were not living here and realized it before it was a pipe bursting disaster), and in the summer there was this terrible smell emanating from the basement. Like, sewage. We have a septic field so I thought it must be the worst kind of problem. There was some sort of issue with one of the ventilation thingies? I don’t really know but it took four weeks until someone would come and look at it – FOUR WEEKS – and it was the simplest fix ever. So now our basement no longer smells of raw sewage, hooray. But what I’m saying is wtf, why are houses.
I’m so happy for your daughter making friends so quickly, that is a big WOW.
Reading your post made me think of my current place, where we have lived for 25 years. It needs SO MUCH work, so many things, and if we sold it, the new owners would curse us daily I am sure. Sigh.
I like your husband’s attitude, that you are going to get it fixed and then enjoy it. And like Ally said, if this turns out to be a huge mistake (unlikely) it does not have to be forever.
Hang in there, glad to see you back, and thank you for reminding us all that we are not alone in whatever our daily frustrations are.
I keep telling myself that houses require work, and so it is unreasonable to move in and expect this one to need ZERO work. I am also hoping that the people who bought our old house aren’t having as terrible a time as we are. I mean, I can think of a handful of things that they probably have to do (but we disclosed those things up front, so hopefully they were prepared), but I am hoping it doesn’t feel quite so overwhelming. But maybe it does!!! Argh!
I’m so sorry this time has been so stressful when the hope would be that it is the opposite. You should not feel at all guilty about complaining, as you have abundant perspective – first world problems are still problems, I always say.
That said, while this is all very frustrating and I think I would be crying a lot, it sounds like the woes are temporary (although taking longer than they should to address), and the wows will be less so. I know all the warnings about owning a pool, but I still would have jumped at the chance, and I think it will be amazing as a teen hangout when Carla is older. Looking at the commute the way you do makes me smile so hard. And the great neighbours will still be there when the mice and bats and leaks and squeaks are gone.
Oh yay! You are back!
Oh no! You are feeling regret. BUT, I feel sure that once all the issues are dealt with you will be so happy with the move. It seems to me that every move I’ve ever made always came with a bit of hemorrhaging money or required sweat equity. Eventually, it seems to level off.
The backyard and the flowers are absolutely gorgeous and are definitely a “wow factor.” The pool, while it requires maintenance, will definitely make your house THE hang out house for the kids. And I’m so happy to hear that your family, particularly Carla is settling in and meeting the new neighbors.
Take a deep breath and give it some time.
Hi Suzanne, happy to see an update from you. The dahlias are lovely and I can so relate to the feeling of money pit. Our house is from 1933 so yeah… When we bought it had multiple problems but we were told the bones were good. It’s been 10 years and we fixed it up, we love it, and yes, there are always, always projects to be had but as long as it’s warm and safe for your family, that can take time 🙂
not to add to the woes, but please makes sure that “scarlet sweater” is not poison ivy before getting too close! wishing you luck with the service calls! 🙂
Oof. I am so sorry, my friend. I feel this post SO hard. I feel like I’ve been through the wringer with our current house and often felt – this might sound odd – but betrayed by it. When we moved in SO many things went wrong immediately and it was so overwhelming and it cost so much and I lost 10 pounds in the first few months and couldn’t sleep and why am I telling you this because it’s dredging up all sorts of old miserable feelings!!! Maybe I’m telling you this BECAUSE THIS IS NORMAL (unfortunately). And it feels hard because it is hard. It’s hard to be dealing with constant bills. It’s hard to be learning about new things (pool maintenance! bats! gas lines! leaky showers!). Entire trades are dedicated to every conceivable thing in a house (plumber, electrician, HVAC), yet as a homeowner we’re supposed to know what’s going wrong, who to call, how to deal with things safely.
I bet you WILL love this house, but it’s okay to be angry and sad and feel all the feelings.
If it makes you feel any better, we are debating leaving our current house which we have worked constantly on for 6 years to the point I finally almost like it (instead of hating it like I did when we first moved in)…but our neighbourhood situation has been untenable and so, we might – *might* – move. Ugh. I do not have the energy to move and I know it will cost a fortune but also – how long do I wait for things to get better. People tell me this is just a season and many think we should just “wait it out.” But for how long? No one can answer that and eventually I just need to pull the plug and say: Time to move on.
Sending hugs. Those flowers are gorgeous and, as always, Carla just seems like a dream child who blossoms wherever she goes ❤
I’m so glad you are back! And I think you are describing exactly the feeling of not quite being settled in all the way yet and also not having your settled in place (your previous home) to return to. When we moved, it took me several months before really feeling settled in and that the house was actually a good house and so on. 8 years in, now, and there are still a few things that I dislike, but at this point it is easier for me to think in a solutions oriented way than an “I hate this house why did we move here” kind of way. I hope that comes sooner rather than later for you!
NOOOOOOO! I’m so sorry you’re not loving the house. I can relate, because I’ve been having a very, very mini-version of what you’re going through. We got the kitchen re-done, which was a big enough hassle, but then the dishwasher decided to break, and then the FREEZER decided to stop working, and we still have to deal with the floor situation… the only day I can be home for repair people is Wednesday, and literally every single one of my Wednesdays has been taken up with that (this coming Wednesday I have to be home for the dishwasher repairman, AGAIN, and again our window is 7 am-7 pm. What.) So that’s just one day a week- I can’t imagine having that be every single day. I’m hoping that once you get through all this you’ll end up loving the house after all. I remember when we first moved into this house, we had a bunch of stuff that needed fixing (I can’t even remember what all it was, now) and every time we realized we had to fix something my husband would say “That’s okay, it’s part of making the house ours.”
Anyway, it was funny- I’m sitting here sipping a cup of Uncle Grey and I thought about you, and then your new post popped up. Yay! I’m glad you’re back!
Welcome back! It is so nice to see you! I feel your pain, girl. My house was built in 1921 and when I bought, I knew it had issues because in the Bay Area we not only pay over listing, but you also have to put more than 20% down, pay 20% – 30% over asking, have a short escrow (mine was 21 days) and pretty much take things “as is” to be able to be competitive in any way. So…I knew there were some issues with the foundation (not serious, but hey, its a 100 year old house in an earthquake prone area, I am sure that it has shifted a bit), termites, dry rot, the roof…you name it really. BUT, and I can totally relate to you here too, my Dad and a friend of mine who is an engineer looked at all of my disclosures and said that if those things had lasted 100 years already they may last AT LEAST another 10 or 20, so I could cross that bridge when it came to it.
Of course this did not stop things from happening right away. Within 6 months I had replaced the hot water heater and had to dig up the sewer and replace a sewer line! I also had a lot of little things (patching the roof, putting in gutters, SO MUCH yard work (the prior tenant must have burned or buried their trash in the backyard – wtf). Oh the joys of homeownership! A friend of mine who lives in a condo kept talking about wanting to have a yard for the kids and I kept telling her not to do it because it sounds all fine and dandy but it is a lot of work!! Anyway, I hope that your woes are quickly resolved and you can just go hang out at the pool and relax!
I wish we could get together to talk about our money-sucking monster houses! I will say the first year was the worst and it has improved since. We replaced…everything (not because we planned to, because it all broke) so it feels like there shouldn’t be anything left. Of course, this summer we also got a bat problem, so there’s always something.
The worst was when I scheduled a routine furnace tune-up for two weeks after we moved in and they put up caution tape over our furnaces (there’s two, of course), said THANK GOD you didn’t die!, and said we absolutely could never use them again. Fun times.
I’ve been waiting to hear how your new house is. I’m sorry that the first weeks are so painful and expensive. Based on your 5 great wows, I believe that in the not too distant future you’ll start feeling like it’s your dream home. Your husband sounds just wonderful and so positive. Change is so hard (more so for some;). That pool will be amazing for Carla and her friends.
Pat B (why is WordPress being so weird about comments on so many sites??!!).
As a person easily old enough to be your mother, I want to make it clear that CHANGE while you are going through it is actually horrible and depressing. It is only AFTER the change that you can look back and say “Wow, I am so glad we did that”. Trust me.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I was hoping you would love the new space. I feel line you are like my husband when we bought our house and I am like your husband. My husband wasn’t thrilled about buying a house in 2019. He knew we needed more space but he didn’t really WANT to move. And in our neighborhood, most of the homes are built in the 1920s or earlier so they are quirky. Our last house had zero maintenance issues which is uncommon I think. The new house had a laundry list of things to do. At one point he said, ‘I hate this house’. It was very hard for me to hear that because I kind of pushed us to move – after looking for over 2 years. He tried to so a lot of the fix ups himself with the help of his handy cousin. I wanted him to outsource more but he was adamant about doing it himself. It was quite the source of tension – and then the pandemic came and kind of distracted him. Now he doesn’t actively hate our house so I guess things have improved? But he hates our lot (we are on a giant hill). It I love our floor plan and our block – the lot isn’t ideal but I can live with it. But he doesn’t hate it enough to want to move. Anyways none of this is helping! But all this is to say that houses and house buying decisions are complicated. But I hope you come to like the house with time. The phone call aspect is AWFUL though!!
So frustrating!! I find the problem of unreturned calls/emails particularly vexing, especially because it feels like it takes forever to cross something as simple as “contact plumber” off your list when you have to also keep track of whether or not they got back to you.
From your description, however, it does seem that the “woes” are mostly temporary and will eventually be fixed, whereas the “wows” are more permanent and less malleable (i.e., you can’t control who your neighbors are, so it’s fantastic that they seem to be great so far).
But also, bats 😦 😦 😦 😦 I’m sorry!!
I’m sorry the period of adjustment has been so rough. And I really hope you find out what’s causing the allergic (or maybe just a cold– fingers crossed) symptoms. That sounds miserable. Yay for the pool and nice neighbors, though.
When we moved to our house in the suburbs from our apartment in the city (21 year ago!) I missed our neighborhood a lot and I was plotting to move back as soon as the kids were grown and we no longer needed the public school system, but now that that’s a year off, I have no urge to leave (even if being in the old neighborhood for appointments makes me nostalgic).
Oh, Suzanne. I am so sorry that this house and the move hasn’t been what you expected. We are so similar in the way we think and process our emotions, and I can just FEEL your regret through your words. I have never owned a house, but I remember feeling this way when I switched jobs and I was feeling so alone and out of sorts. I kept thinking, “Why did I leave my old job?!?!” (Well, I left it because it was a toxic environment and no room for growth!) I think it’s common for people like us to get very overwhelmed when things just keep not going our way. And let’s be clear: YOU ARE WELL WITHIN YOUR RIGHTS TO BE UPSET RIGHT NOW. I don’t think these are small woes. I’m sure you were thinking “just get through the move, then we’ll be able to settle into our home” but NO. Now you have to deal with service people in your home and following up with them and bleeding money. NO WONDER YOU’RE UPSET. You just want your home to feel like your home. ❤ ❤ ❤ I am glad you wrote this all out and I hope it was cathartic. I'm thinking of you and hoping things start to improve, even slightly, as the days and weeks go on. You got this, friend!
Oh, my friend. I’ve been thinking about you and have noticed your absence. I’m sorry your new home isn’t everything you hoped for. Moving is extremely stressful. My mom and I were just talking about it the other night. My family moved a lot when I was growing up, and my mom needed medication at one point. Moving, according to her doctor, ranks alongside death as one of the most stressful of life changes. Maybe your “cold” is your body’s immune system adjusting to the stress of everything.
I’m glad you shared both the ups and the downs. Life is full of it all. Both bad and good. Continue to share it with us. We are here to support you. 😘❤️
Oh my gosh. I’m sorry to be here so late. I was starting to wonder . . . have I lost all concept of time, or did she not move as long ago as I thought. I’m sorry things are so topsy-turvey right now. I KNOW it will all fall into place. I LOVE that your parents are nearby, that your neighbors are lovely, and that you have a freaking POOL. I’m jealous. Do you remember my raccoon spa from covid days of yore? The commute time sounds lovely. My kids rode a bus to school and when we moved and I drove them we got into a little routine of chit chat after school, etc. Good or bed, keep writing. I am confident that it will help.
We have had some stress over here. I have not blogged about it yet. It’s fine. EVERYTHING IS FINE. But there is still stress involved.
I hear you Suzanne. I feel you.
A the intro. I can very much relate. As youknwo we also had to move, we choose the new apartment but it took me a long long time to not talk negetavily about it every chance I. Got. I still do at times 4 month in. I think we are allowed to not be overly happy when things are not the way we are. The important part is that at a certain point we need to get at grips with the new reality and make the best of the situation. And who know once all the things are fixed it may be a dream house?
And about the service appointments and no call backs. I wanted to hire an electrician to hang up all the langs as he would be three times as fast as if the husband and I would do it. After calling everyone in a radius of 50 km I gave up. There is no one having availability or gets me estimates or even back to me. I’ve been ignoring the issue for the past 4 month but now winter is coming and it would be nice to have some light… This will be my task for October. I already see myself on the ladder for days to come.
I have also been listening to more audiobooks lately. You can. Just do so much during listening. Cleaning, laundry, shopping.
My pity party is minor compared. I am having this annoying cough for 3 weeks now that doesn’t seem to go away. No Covid at least.
The DAHLIAS! Swoon. I was mesmerized by all the photos in this post. And you were missed, if you didn’t know this. I knew you were in deep with the move and I wish so badly that it was all going smoothly.
I’m with your husband: You’re getting it all out of the way now.
It’s a damn pity you can’t get the work done quickly or cheaper…sending all the good thoughts your way for things to settle down so you can enjoy yourself.
We’ve been house shopping and we’ve vowed to only move if the home is brand-new or practically brand new because all that maintenance is what is killing my home vibe right now. XO
Oof. It sounds like you had a few exhausting weeks and I can absolutely understand that the move has been exhausting. Moves always are. I am sorry you feel like you made a mistake and that there is so much to fix at the new house, but I do hope that once these money-sucking fixes are done, you can recognize that it was all worth it in the long run and that you will be very happy there.
I love that you have your parents close-by and that you’ve been enjoying the pool so much!
I am also glad you can find some wows among all the woes. Keep looking for the silver-linings ❤ I am happy you're back!