Just found your blog, too cute! I myself am married to a man in medicine.. what a journey. He is a fellow now and darn it I see him less now than ever. If it wasn’t for BRAVO what is a doctor’s wife to do. Anyway cute blog and I look forward to reading your posts.
Well Drs. wives, hold on to your hats and on to your profession no matter what. I have been married 29 yrs to an FP and things were good, kind of. I made all the concessions since the “Dr.” was needed at work at work at work. Ok I loved the man and found my own niche and kept on working since I am an RN, BSN. However after 13 years and many many concessions to keep Dr. happy we had our son who had a mixed bag of issues: ADHD,
OCD, anxiety, severe behavioral issues, Asperger type traits, fine motor tremors, gross motor issues. I spent the next 17 yrs utilizing my Nursing knowlege and skills to intervene, reaseach, advocate, learn I.D.E.A. Code of Federal Regulations to keep him in school, sought therapies, counselors and the list goes on. When I attempted to go back to work, Dr. Husband could not be bothered to stay home from opening day of hunting season to care for our son and I was pulled out of a Real Estate Class to tend to his issues at school.
We ladies and gentelmen after 29 yrs of marriage and 17 yrs of getting our son educated and socialized. Yes you guessed it Mr. Dr. husband Narcissist files for divorce and goes to court on an EX Parte to have me removed from the home in which he was successful, got custody of our son who now without the constant intervention dropped out of school and my woes go on and on. I am resourceful and will do fine once I remediate my skills, however a bit of advice the young. PROTECT YOUR SELF. Your mate is the king or queen of their surroundings and there especially today are those who care not if your Dr. Spouse is married will do everything in their power to “sleep with a Dr.” Like it is some prize. and Your Dr. tired, sleepless, and 60 or maybe 30, 40, or 5o likes the praise and like most Dr.s like to feel like God
I have not home, child, job, or my health, the stress of raising child like this took its toll and I had a stress Heart Attack at age 50 and was done for a year. So let’s see, no home, husband, child, job, health, oh and no money,
Of course Dr. Husband took care of EVERYTHING AND I am looking like mad to find what he is hidden. I always said to myself I will always work not anticipating a child with such a great need to have to make the choice to stay home. Oh I forgot Dr. Husband gave me HERPIES as a going away gift.
The moral of the story, don’t marry someone who perceives themselfs as God because they can make you disapear.
Just ran across your blog. I met my husband just before he started medical school (but after he got an Air Force scholarship to pay for it…i.e – we are in Japan paying back our time now). I was really involved in organizations to help intern and resident wives. Contact me if you are interested in any more info about it!
Wow, I just found this blog today. I had no idea there were so many blogs written by doctors’ wives!! I too am in the club, but I haven’t mentioned my husband’s profession on my blog. So glad I found your blog as well as the others listed in your Daily Reads.
Nice to ‘meet’ you. I’m the *girlfriend* (I expect, upcoming fiancee) of an M3-going-on-M4. Its great to see that there are other “doctor’s significant other” bloggers out there. I love your blog. I’ll be visiting frequently. Take care. – Marisa
Hi…I am lovng your blog! I have ben dating a surgical resident for 6 months–things have gotten pretty serious,intending to move in together next year,marriage was discussed…He is an amazing man,who cares about people..one of the very important reasons I am with him. Wants to amke a true contrution to humanity– we have similiar views on the world.Not easy to find…
Now, That being said…OMG!! His schedule is HORRID!! Constant cancelling plans….I laughed when I read you say that you were ‘married to yourself”…that is how I feel. Last night, yet again, he never came, got tied up in surgery.Lost count of how many times that has happened in the past few weeks…
Any advice? I adore this man….how do you cope with the frustration and loneliness?
Hi…your blog was so refreshing. My husband finished his general surgery residency in June and just started a fellowship in Plastics. I never believed his schedule could get any worse but I was soooo wrong! It’s so nice to know that I’m not alone. All my friends think I’m so lucky to be married to a surgeon…if only they knew the truth!
Yes– this is a great blog, I am glad that I found it as well!
I understand about the not being “alone”–nice to have others perspective and support who understand the situation…..
My boyfriend is in his last year of surgical residency,the hours, terrible,terrible! When I read what you posted about your husband’s schedule getting worse with his fellowship, you voiced my fears! How do you cope with his crazy schedule?
I just came across your blog. You had me when I read that your husband’s at the hospital overnight so you stay up watching a BBT marathon, and how you turn your alarm on as soon as he leaves. My husband’s a doctor, a Peds hospitalist. We don’t have kids yet so with his busy call schedule I’m alone a lot. The entire ” Popcorn Incident ” had me LMBO! Even to the PJs and taking a shower at night. Check, and check. I look forward to reading more.
I couldn’t be more excited to find this blog! I am also married to a physician and myself am a RN, BSN (currently in nurse practitioner school) and find that I can not relate to anyone of my peers anymore. No one seems to understand the constantly on the go and somewhat narcassistic tendencies that I encounter on a daily basis. What a sigh of relief to know I am not alone!!
This was a pleasant surprise to stumble across this blog… my fiance is an attending (I happened to meet him after his training). It’s so nice to be able to complain about the parts of our relationship that no one else sees to women who understand and don’t judge me! I HATE that he has to be overnight at the hospital at least once a week… and if he’s on pager and gets paged, he ALWAYS has to go in (never a consult in his field). Not to mention the barage of women that are constantly throwing themselves at him– PURELY because of his profession. And, his friends are all concerned that I am marrying him only for his money— which is pathetic that his own friends can’t imagine there could be more to love about him other than money… shouldn’t they know that he is the most amazing person I’ve ever met and that’s why I’m marrying him?! (I have my own job, I never wear designer labels, and my family is well off too). Don’t get me wrong, there are great things that come with it too— he’s the smartest person I’ve ever met, he always has interesting work stories for me, he can treat my pain at home, and yes, he’s in one of the “lifestyle” fields of medicine, so we are financially well off (but that does come with the price of him having to work 24 hrs in house on Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc.)… but above all, the person behind the profession is what is most important. He treats me well, we laugh, we enjoy our lives and each other immensely. He’s never disrespectful and always values me as an equal despite my educational background (Bachelor in Finance) and my profession (Commercial Real Estate). But it is nice to vent about all the small nuances that come along with it to people who don’t think you’re spoiled or selfish to feel that way. 🙂
I am in the same boat! My boyfriend is doing his fellowship, surgeon…it can be so hard, frustrating….it can get ‘too much’ at times. But, I do really respect his profession and what he does…so much stress and sacrifice on his part…in so many ways people never even imagine.
Yes, I can understand why people are leeary about the ‘money thing’…so many ARE in it for the money! But, who someone is cannot be covered up for long…if someone is about the money, the truth comes out, always does. I cannot blame family and friends for feeling cautious, they are being protective. And how true it is…soooo many women throwing themselves all cause of the ‘white coat’ and the $$$…..its pretty sad and disgusting that women (and men too) do not have more self respect…
I have told my BF many times…if he decided to do something else,less stressful and demanding,have some other dream…..I would not mind at all! (dont get me wrong–dont mean its ok to sell pencils on the subway! lol)
My BF is a plastics surgical fellow. Like you and many have said this is HARD. I feel so neglected emotionally at times. He is about to have his in service exams and he warned me about how it will get hard and dark in our relationship as he prepares for this exam. You never realize how hard it really is going to be until ur right in the middle of it. I will say we have talked and seen each other more than we planned (even though it’s been VERY minimal and short when we do). I have struggled emotionally a lot but try to remind myself he did warn me of this. None of my friends understand and think I shld end things with him but I love him way too much. He has asked to have this week to himself, which he tests this week, and that he will speak to me on Friday. I have struggled sooo much these past few days with zero contact. It is way harder then I expected especially when we have gone 7 months of talking/txting everyday. I wonder to myself if he thinks of me and how is he so capable of going without hearing from me… Then I have moments where I think he is prob sooo stressed that this is obviously his priority and that he does think of me but is to exhausted and busy. It’s definitely nice to hear others talk about going through similar things.
I love your blog. I just found it a few weeks ago and it has giving me insight and great tips on dating a doctor. I am dating a neurosurgeon now and so glad I am not alone with what I have read. Thanks- Christina 🙂
Hi! Found your blog yesterday and wanted to introduce myself. I know you’re a busy wife and mama, but I do hope you’ll find time to update and let us know how it all went with the baby on the plane and at the hotel!