Seven for Sunday

This post began as a Five for Friday, but I got no further on that than bullet points to remind me what to write about. Then I got it mostly written at the car dealership yesterday morning, but never got to post it. So! Seven for Sunday it is. 

I Don’t Know Where My Soul Is, I Don’t Know Where My Home Is: Remember when I was complaining about the robin (or robins, I suppose?) who has been flinging himself into my office window all spring? Well, the solution I decided on was… waiting him out. Which has not worked very well, I am sure you are shocked to learn. 

This is my view from the comfy chair I sit in, instead of sitting at my perfectly good desk. I can see the bird in the reflection of the painting.

I started out feeling bad for this bird, being driven by biology to slam his body into glass at regular intervals. And I know he’s not doing it with the purpose of bothering me; he doesn’t care about me. But I feel like even a robin should be capable of learning to identify a futile action, no? He taps at the glass aggressively with his beak, he flaps his wings at the glass, he has never once encountered another bird. Like, at least shouldn’t he be able to determine, inside his little birdy brain, that the mysterious bird threat he keeps spotting is secured behind a transparent forcefield? Or shouldn’t he have figured out by now that his attacks are usually followed by me shaking the blinds at him, which must be startling, at the very least, because it does get him to fly away?

Also, there is bird poop on my office windowpanes now. 

It is starting to feel very Edgar Allen Poe-ian over here, where I am now trying to figure out what the bird and his repeated appeals for my attention are telling me. What does it all MEAN? 

My daughter had the idea to set up her stuffed hawk on top of the blinds, but that did absolutely nothing. If anything, now the bird feels as though there’s A Real Threat encroaching on his territory. So my daughter added a stuffed tiger to the top of the blinds, which has had zero effect. I don’t think midwestern robins have any clue what a tiger is, to be honest, not to mention IT’S A STUFFIE. 

Sentinel hawk, reporting for the night watch. My chair has seen better days.

Anyway, my husband has decided enough is enough and we’re going to explore some of the very reasonable options you all shared with me last time. Perhaps the robin isn’t the only creature slow to learn that doing the same thing over and over will not result in a different outcome. 

Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough: I am Very Late to the Cool Bloggers Walking Club party, but I have serious FOMO. Plus, I do want to walk every day, and having this extra little motivation can only help. While I am not opposed to walking on the treadmill, I prefer to walk outside. And my new neighborhood is full of fun things to see on walks. 

A couple of weeks back seemed to be prime egg-laying season for the geese, and for a moment it felt like there were eggs EVERYWHERE. I can’t tell if geese were of the I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant ilk, dropping offspring in the goose equivalent of the grocery store parking lot, or if the eggs had been diverted from their nests by foxes/hawks/squirrels, but it was kind of an odd experience to be walking along and then come upon an egg. 

I have also seen a teensy little snake and a turtle. 

The snake was very small, maybe four to six inches long. And the turtle was not interested in being photographed, and tucked her head into her shell the instant I pulled out my phone.

Tossed Salad and Scrambled Eggs: Speaking of Elisabeth, in addition to inspiring more regular walking, she has also inspired me to revisit one of my favorite series: Frasier. I started it on the treadmill earlier this week and it is such a delight. I hazard to say that the Frasier pilot is one of the most perfect pilot episodes of all time. 

The only thing I dislike about Frasier is that the title character is supposed to be 41. (Incidentally, Kelsey Grammer was only 38 when he filmed the pilot.) Considering that I am FORTY THREE, I find it a little horrifying to see myself as part of Frasier’s cohort. He’s much more… mature than I am, that’s for sure.

I refuse to accept that this man is younger than I am by FIVE YEARS.

You Change Your Mind Like a Girl Changes Clothes: As of Thursday, our furnace and air conditioner have been repaired! And neither of them needed to be replaced! It did take a while, though, and I have a renewed irritation with our HVAC company’s communications system. It is STUPID. This is a very long and boring segment, FYI. If you want to skip it, rest assured that you have gleaned the key theme already, which is “It is STUPID.”

To contact the HVAC company, you call a central number and speak to a customer service person. (And by the way, they have a ridiculous scripted answer to their phone calls, something along the lines of, “How can I make your day great?” that sounds so dumb and disingenuous and also, like, fixing my A/C will most definitely make my day better, but nothing you can do, HVAC CS Agent, will make my day great.) You tell the agent why you’re calling. If you want an appointment, they put in a request for an appointment, and then a dispatcher calls you back and sets up the appointment. There is no way to directly schedule an appointment, or to talk directly to the technician who will complete the service/repair. There is no way to get directly to a dispatcher. If you miss the dispatcher’s return call, because you called during the one free period in your day, and they call back when you are in a meeting, you have to call the customer service agent again, and they leave a message for the dispatcher, and the whole phone tag thing starts all over. IT IS SO STUPID. Why is their system like this???? 

I got my initial appointment last Monday. After waiting ALL DAY, two people (a technician and a site manage) arrived to examine the air conditioner. My wonderful father was able to come to my house so I could go pick up Carla from school, because of course the HVAC people showed up right as I was pulling out of my garage. They determined what was wrong with the A/C and furnace (a rodent had chewed through the wiring to the intake valve, which prevented both appliances from working) (FRICKING RODENTS), and found an additional issue with the A/C (needed a new contactor, not that I know what that is; my dad seemed to think it was legit), and said they didn’t have the part on the truck but had it in the warehouse, so they would be back the next day. Except they couldn’t tell me when they could come back, or even if they would be the technicians to return: I had to call first thing the next morning and get an appointment. 

When I called the next morning, the customer service person said he could see that the part was in stock and that I was on the schedule for that day, I just needed to wait for dispatch to call me to confirm a time. No one called all day, so I called back and spoke to a different customer service agent. It turns out there was a hold on my appointment, which a completely different customer service agent said she suspected was because maybe the part wasn’t available? I told her that the technician had said it was, and the customer service agent I’d spoken to that morning said it was, and she said, “Well, did you confirm that it was really in stock?” Um. NO? How would I do that beyond talking to people who would supposedly know the answer?

Anyway. I told her I was unavailable the next day, but would be available Thursday morning. She said she would put a note in my file to have the work scheduled for Thursday and have dispatch call me on Wednesday. I said I would be in and out of meetings and wouldn’t be able to take the dispatcher’s call if they called while I was in a meeting. I asked if I could get a direct number for the dispatcher, so I didn’t have to do the customer service step. Nope. But! She could have the dispatcher text me, so I could communicate with her directly. Great.

No one called or texted me on Wednesday. In between meetings, I called the central number and went through the whole customer service, wait for a dispatcher to call back rigamarole. When I finally connected with the dispatcher, she said I was on the schedule for later that day! Well, as I told the customer service person yesterday, I was not available later that day (there was an event at Carla’s school). Finally she was able to get me scheduled for the first appointment on Thursday. Which turned out to begin at nearly noon, and the guy was not finished before my two o’clock meeting so I left him a tip and a notepad while I went to my meeting (fortunately, it was on Zoom) and he finished up and wrote me a very thorough report before he left. 

We were very fortunate that it was pretty cool all week. I am not going to lie: I woke up every night in a puddle of sweat, but the thermostat read only 75, so that may be more of a perimenopause thing than an HVAC issue. Hard to say. And now, everything is FIXED, even if the company’s system is BROKEN.

It’s All One World in Which We Live, So Understand and Try to Give: It’s a teeny bit early for me to be thinking about teacher gifts for the end of the school year, but I have two reasons for thinking about them already. 

Usually I give money to our class parent, who puts it toward a gift card for our teachers. But this year, Carla’s teacher has been so involved in her life, I want to do something special. The obvious gift is a Stanley, right? I feel like it will so perfectly encapsulate this teacher’s experience of teaching fifth grade this year. And we can personalize it. So now I have to decide if I personalize it with her name (probably her last name, right? That way she can bring it to school without all the kids calling her by her first name, or she can give it to her own kid if she wants nothing to do with it) or with some sort of phrase that makes her think about this year/this class/my kid. I will probably go with her surname, but I WANT to be the kind of person who comes up with some meaningful quote that will make her heart swell every time she uses the Stanley. Anyway, this is why I am thinking about it NOW; I need time to order it and have it arrive.

The other reason I am thinking about gifts is that I have somehow “volunteered” to be the person in charge of an end-of-year celebration for one of Carla’s extracurriculars. There are two instructors who lead this program, and I want to get them each the same thing (with, perhaps, variation in color). My mind went immediately to Stanleys, but Carla reported that one of the other kids in this extracurricular told her with great authority that one of the instructors HATES STANLEYS. Which I get. So. Stanleys are out. But that leaves… what???? I don’t want to do gift cards for Reasons, but I am not sure what a good alternative would be. And I’m running out of time, because this program ends at the beginning of May. (Lest you think I have been procrastinating, I was just wrangled into this role last week.)

A Bushy Bushy Blonde Hairdo: It is once again the time of year when I begin gently stressing about Carla’s birthday party. We already have the Big Gift planned: as I mentioned/fretted about before, I have scheduled an appointment for her to get her ears pierced. Her pediatrician will be doing the ear piercing, as I figure it would behoove me to be in a medical establishment just in case I pass out from seeing someone create dual apertures in my child. 

Since Carla’s birthday is on a Saturday, and since we are planning on a pool party, I figured I would schedule her ear piercing for the following week. (It probably isn’t IMPOSSIBLE to go swimming after you get your ears pierced, but it is a complication I don’t want to deal with. Plus, this way, Carla can back out if she decides being hole-punched is not as good an idea as she originally thought.) Swistle mentioned this ear piercing aftercare spray, and I think I will get a bottle of it, wrap it up nicely, and that will be how she learns about this present. 

Anyway! Party! I asked Carla what the theme of her party should be, and/or what color she wanted her cake, and after some thought she said, in Ken-style deadpan, “My theme is just beach.” So. That seems both easy to interpret in a bunch of different directions and too vague, but I am going to run with it. Maybe the kids will get beach balls as their favor? (I would do towels, but one of Carla’s friends gives out towels as a birthday favor and Carla doesn’t want to copy.) Or sunglasses? Flip flops? Although that might be tricky, without knowing each kid’s shoe size. I want it to be a summery, beach-adjacent gift that isn’t too expensive and can be used even without access to a pool/beach. 

The food will be a taco bar. I think I may need to borrow crockpots from a couple of friends, so I can have ground beef and shredded chicken and black beans. But tacos seem like a pretty safe bet – or, at least as safe as pizza, which neither Carla nor her best friend will eat, and which is the standard Birthday Party Meal around these parts.

The lifeguard has been secured, and she will bring her own life-saving equipment. I just need to provide a chair. A rather big issue to solve will be what to do in case of rain. I could have a dozen children in my basement, but I would rather not. That’s probably what will happen, though. 

Now that the big things have been decided, I can turn my attention to cupcakes. Carla requested a color scheme of blue and tan, which… well, I will feel free to jazz that combo up with additional colors. She also mentioned wanting either an umbrella or flip flops on her cupcakes. These cupcakes look a little fussy to make, but very cute. These beach cupcakes look much simpler, and are also very cute. I could always get some flip flop cupcake toppers to add on.

Target has cute beach-themed dinnerware. I think this could be a lot of fun. Especially because no real sand will be involved.

I’ve Given You Sunshine, I’ve Given You Dirt: Yesterday included a sports event (Carla’s), a visit to the car dealership (my windshield wiper fluid should no longer leak!), a playdate at our house (also Carla’s), a bunch of laundry (2/5 loads have been washed and dried, 0/5 have been folded, although I did manage to replace the sheets), and some very gentle progress toward buying some of the furniture we want to buy but have been postponing (we did not buy anything, once again, but we did re-measure and re-confirm that we want to buy a specific bookshelf from Room & Board). 

When it seemed as though Carla, newly divested of her friend, and my husband were happily doing their own things, I decided to drive to the garden center.

Firstly, garden centers can be FANTASTIC for fun gift-y browsing. The one I went to was AMAZING and I found myself drooling over plant stands and cheese trays and kitchen towels and wind chimes long before I even saw a plant.

Secondly, I am in full-on I Want to Plant Things mode, which is a mode that feels deeply unsatisfying because I am a) cheap and b) indecisive and c) black thumbed. But oh! how I love visiting the garden center and imagining all sorts of plants in and around my home. Am I person who could grow golden raspberries? I sure hope so! Do I need a malus purple prince flowering tree? I think I do! What kind of fern would work best in the sunroom (which has no furniture, and so is less of a “room” and more of a “holding space” for various things we haven’t felt up to tossing yet)? Hard to say because I have never dealt with ferns! Should I try to grow a bunch of veggies again this year? I am desperate to do so, but… HOW desperate?

I took a bunch of photos of all the things I want to buy (and of their price tags; yikes) and I think I finally made One Decision, which is that I want to buy two Dwarf Alberta Spruce (spruces? sprice?) to put in large containers on either side of our front door. It would be nice to have something green there all year long. I wouldn’t have to worry about planting flowers each spring, but it would still be inviting and elegant. And around the holidays, I could wrap them with fairy lights! The garden center person who asked if I needed help tells me that the only problem with putting them in pots is that their roots are in danger of freezing in the winter, so I might want to bring them inside. Hmmm. I will sleep on it. 

In the meantime, I picked up a new friend. Meet Alien (“Because it’s green!” says Carla.), our new Venus flytrap. I hope it enjoys moths.  

That’s all I’ve got for you, Internet. Passover begins tomorrow, and we have been lucky enough to be invited to a Seder with dear friends. Hope you have had a restful, bug-free weekend. 

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Six on a Saturday

Boring But Hopeful Health Updates. I am going to say this very quietly, lest I jinx it: but I think that I can eat yogurt again? I have been avoiding dairy since May (which is not the same as giving it up; I still put half and half in my tea, I eat occasional sour cream and occasionally throw a dollop of yogurt onto stir fries and have had the occasional scoop of ice cream) after my acupuncturist suggested it might be negatively impacting my skin. My dermatologist was receptive to this idea and thought, based on some semi-related studies he’d read, that it could be exacerbating my rosacea. Based on some very non-scientific experimentation, it SEEMED true. There was a week when I ate white bean enchilada soup every day for lunch and my skin freaked out, for instance. And there is milk and yogurt in that soup (it is a fantastic soup), so I blamed the dairy. When I avoid dairy, I am mostly okay. I do also have to use a special face wash, though, so maybe that’s what’s keeping the bulk of the rosacea at bay. My family and I went on a weekend getaway recently and I decided to throw caution to the wind and eat some yogurt for breakfast every day. Nothing happened, skin wise. So when we got home from our mini-vacay, I continued to buy and eat yogurt. I have been doing it for several weeks now and things seem stable??? I am so hopeful about this, because I LOVE yogurt. It is delicious but it is also such a fantastic source of protein, especially since I dislike eggs. 

My usual breakfast of late: SmartLite bread with almond butter and honey, yogurt, and tea.

Now I am whispering so softly my voice is but a rustle: my plantar fasciitis seems like it is under control??? I don’t know what happened or when, but my feet just feel… better??? I am continuing to wear shoes in the house and I do calf stretches every night before bed but… I haven’t been to the acupuncturist in two months and I don’t feel like I need to make another appointment.

Puzzling Gynecological Visit. While we’re on the topic of health, why not discuss my recent visit to the gyn? I did promise Ally some speculum content, but I am immediately going to break that promise because there was no speculum involved. This wasn’t the puzzling part; current gynecological guidelines recommend that most people with a uterus have a pap test every 3 years as part of a screening for cervical cancer, and I’m not due for a pap until next year. However, I was there for my yearly reproductive parts exam. In years past, this has included a pelvic exam, a breast exam, and a discussion of my health concerns. This year, the nurse got me situated in a room and asked if I would be okay having a resident take part in the exam. 

The resident was lovely. Great bedside manner, seemed very knowledgeable about my questions (which were specific to breast cancer and perimenopause). She asked if I needed any prescriptions renewed (yes) and whether I wanted her to order a mammogram for me (yes). But then she finished the talking portion of the visit and said that the exam was optional. What????? OPTIONAL? I didn’t know what to do with that information! Listen, I think we’d be hard pressed to find anyone who ENJOYS a pelvic or breast exam. They are invasive and embarrassing and uncomfortable. But… the exam is the purpose of the annual gynecological well visit! If I just wanted a refill of birth control pills, I could simply call that in! I came to the office specifically so that the doctor could poke and prod my bits and tell me if anything was wrong! 

What I should have said was, “Of course I want an exam, that’s why I’m here.” But I got flustered when the resident gave me the option. Part of me, I think, was a little embarrassed to ask that she examine me. Which is dumb, because that is her job, and, again, WHY I WAS THERE, but I still felt like it was weird to request it, if it was optional. So I said, “Well, what do you recommend?” And instead of saying, “I recommend you get your reproductive parts examined” she said, “It’s up to you.” WHAT?! That is not a recommendation. We hemmed and hawed a little bit, and finally I said something like, “Well, I came here prepared for a physical exam, so I might as well do it.” But the whole thing was weird and awkward. 

And also: WHAT THE HELL? A) Why is the physical exam suddenly optional? And B) What is the point of the annual gynecological exam if there is no exam? The whole experience was baffling. 

Speaking of Perimenopause. A ridiculous spate of hot flashes has had me in a bit of a fret about whether I am beginning perimenopause. Doesn’t seem likely, considering my family history, but who really knows, right? There is a fine line between The Normal Joys of Having a Female Reproductive System and going through The Change. The gynecological resident reassured me, if a little dismissively, that I am too young for perimenopause and then moving along to other topics. Maybe so (although I am 42, so it’s not wildly out of the realm of possibility), but it’s something I want to prepare myself for, so I’m thinking about it now. I am listening to Hot and Bothered: What No One Tells You About Menopause (and How to Feel Like Yourself Again) by Jancee Dunn so it’s top of mind. The book is engagingly written – I like Dunn’s energetic voice and humorous/informative writing style. It seems like she did her research, and there are tons of practical tips for how to address various symptoms of menopause. But the book makes me so uncomfortable! In some cases, the physical discomfort is so severe that I find myself squirming in my car. Dunn is careful to interject, not infrequently, that not every person will experience every symptom, that a lot of people go through menopause with nary a hot flash. But this book covers the whole spectrum of menopause issues, so the whole thing feels REALLY OMINOUS. Yikes.  

Nature Is Healing. This is probably something I should say very quietly, as well, lest I scare it away, but it seems like sriracha is gradually making its way back into the world. Sriracha – specifically Huy Fong sriracha – is my favorite of all condiments. It would be one of my desert island foods, for SURE. I love it so very much. So I have been keeping an eye out for it in the years since its production has dwindled and have built myself a little stockpile. (There was a moment when I got down to one bottle and tried a bunch of alternatives to see if there was something else I could live with. No, there isn’t. So I have gradually replenished my stores.) I’ve almost always been able to get it on Amazon, although there were a few months this past spring when it was unavailable except for ridiculous prices. (Will I pay $17 per 14-ounce bottle? Yes, it turns out, I will, but that’s pretty much my limit.) But then I noticed it was readily available in Asian grocery stores. I made myself a deal that if I saw sriracha on the shelves, I would buy one bottle. That didn’t seem excessive. When I saw sriracha at Wegman’s recently, I bought a bottle. THEN I saw it at Target and bought another bottle. But this week, even my local grocery store had a small supply of sriracha! I did not buy a bottle; hopefully that won’t prove to be a mistake. Anyway. I am really cautiously optimistic about sriracha being BACK because I love it so much. 

I may have a wee bit of an addiction.

Wedding Gift Ideas? My hair stylist just got engaged. We have talked about her wedding for almost the entirety of my past two hair appointments. To be clear, I LOVE talking about weddings and wedding planning and enjoyed this line of conversation THOROUGHLY. Am I hoping that she has a baby immediately after she gets married, so we can talk about pregnancy and then babies and then parenting?! YES, with all my heart. She’s always a delight to talk to, but I much prefer this stuff to the usual “what are you doing this weekend, what kind of travel is coming up this year, what are you watching” kind of chitchat, which is pleasant but requires a lot of effort and doesn’t fuel my soul like wedding and baby talk. 

I have distracted myself. She is getting married and I want to buy her a wedding present. However. While I have a very well-developed generous impulse, I have a more well-developed gift giving anxiety that makes the whole thing gift giving process more complicated than it should be. I have several months to fret over and prepare for and acquire this gift but it would be really nice if I had A Real Idea instead of considering and discarding ideas for months and never buying anything and throwing some cash at her at the last minute. Maybe cash is the best gift! But a) I get the strong impression that her fiancé is loaded so she wants for nothing and b) she has been my hair stylist for several years now and I like her immensely and I would love to get her something more personal. Do I… ask her if she’s registered somewhere? I kind of think no, considering she and her spouse-to-be are established adults and live in a fully stocked house… but maybe? She likes alcohol, music (although her taste in music is very specific), travel, cats, Christmas, football. Maybe I could get her something she could take on her honeymoon? (Which will be to a tropical island type place.) But what would that be? I will see her again at least once before she gets married, so I could presumably ask her pointed questions to dig up additional information.  

HALP.

Persistent Grey. After our bout of snow and cold, we have now returned to abnormally warm temperatures and the persistent grey that weighs so heavily on my soul in the winter time. Yuck. For a few days, the grey seemed intent on inserting itself as forcefully into our lives as possible by way of fog. Fog is eerie and beautiful. But I am so ready to say goodbye to January and get on toward spring. February is my favorite month because it goes so quickly and then it’s practically spring and we can look forward to longer days and blooming flowers and BLUE SKIES. 

My poor photography skills don’t adequately capture how much it felt like being in an (the) Emily Bronte novel.

What’s on your mind this weekend?

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Five for Friday: It’s Almost Christmas! Edition

How many hours of TV watching is still considered “acceptable” while one’s child is on winter break? Asking for a me. 

Carla is feeling nearly back to normal. No fever since Sunday, and no more sore throat. Just a little sniffle and a bit of congestion.

We have SNOW this week, which is delightful!!!!! Probably because I am not obligated to drive in it. But I loooooove snow. I think it is supposed to warm up in the next couple of days, so it may not linger. But it’s so lovely while it’s lasting.

• Carla and I spent FIVE HOURS running errands on Monday. Five. Hours. It was… not pleasant. She is a real trooper, though, and maintained her good humor throughout. Me… not so much. Somehow, despite the marathon, I still need to go to the grocery store and I really really want to go to the garden center because I continue to have Porch Panic about the state of my front stoop. It is so dumb, but I feel like the dead mums (which I panic bought three days before Thanksgiving, by the way; they were beautiful and lush at that time) are emanating a Gross Dead Vibe and the entire neighborhood is whispering about me behind my back. (Going to a neighborhood Christmas party and having one of the neighbors teasingly ask why we don’t have any lights up didn’t help. THEY ARE PAYING ATTENTION.) Maybe I could just swirl some twinkle lights festively on the dead mums and call it a day???? I still would need to purchase twinkle lights though. I also have a strong urge to buy more poinsettias. I have two small ones, one of which is trying to die already, but I want MORE POINSETTIAS. Part of this is a case of Christmas Décor Envy, which I developed while attending the aforementioned holiday party: the hosts’ house was GORGEOUS and every inch of it was bright with Christmas magic. There is no point in comparing oneself to other people – and in reality, I have no idea WHERE they store all their Christmas paraphernalia, and I have only a creeping horror in my bones to hint at what kind of time and energy is required to dress the house in such a fashion – but still I WANT MY HOUSE TO BE A WINTER WONDERLAND. Poinsettias would go a long way toward helping me achieve that goal, right? RIGHT? 

• The real problem, I think, is that I have no idea how to decorate this house for Christmas. The living room is weird, so our Christmas tree is weird. It was kind of a battle, to be honest, to figure out where to put it. And I was the one who gave in, which makes me feel crabby. It’s a very open space, with really only two full walls: the other walls are the kitchen (which is a partial wall separating two doors) and the stairway/entryway which isn’t even enclosed; there’s a balcony that overlooks the living room. The longest wall isn’t even a wall wall, it’s a wall of windows. And the other wall is taken up by cabinets and the fireplace. So there’s no REAL place to put the tree. We ended up putting it in the middle of the wall of windows, which I think at least makes sense symmetrically. (My husband and child wanted the tree off center, which just felt wrong in so many ways.) My big idea was to put the tree up against the stairway, but my husband hated that idea so vehemently I think he might have simply declined to celebrate Christmas if I’d pushed. (I still think it would look great.) Also, we are planning to get new furniture for the space, so NEXT YEAR it will be even weirder, but my husband said not to think about that now. (Does he know me?) And that’s just the living room! It’s definitely the most Christmassy of all the rooms. The other rooms have… nothing. Which feels so unfair! (The party host had FIVE CHRISTMAS TREES. That is more Christmas trees than I could ever handle, but maybe I could handle two????) I could fill the piano room with poinsettias! What I really want to do is to line the doorways with something festive (yes, I know I mentioned this already) – I originally thought pine garland. And I have seen so many Instagram videos of people putting shower tension rods in their doorways and decorating them with pine garland and ornaments etc. that I have started thinking that’s a viable idea. (Keep off the internet, kids.) My mother suggested ribbon, which sounds not only economical but also less dusty (and less of a pain to store) than pine garland. But I am not crafty like my mother is, so who knows. I did end up buying some bow-things at Joann Fabric (70% off!) (I also got a box of Hanukkah candles for next year, also 70% off, so perhaps we will have enough candles to light the menorah FULLY every single night of Hanukkah next year lol cringe.) and a spool of ribbon and I’m going to see what I can do. It may be very Preschooler Makes a First Ornament, but it will be Something.
• Where I have excelled, at least in volume, is baking. I have made not one but TWO batches of cranberry crumble bars, and they are still by far my favorite Christmas treat. They are just the perfect combination of buttery/tangy and crunchy/chewy. Carla wanted to bake, and her very specific baking request was snickerdoodles with buttercream frosting, so she made those. She really wanted colorful buttercream, and while she was rummaging around for food coloring she found the box of candy eyes we used last year and so she went wild with the eyes. Very Christmassy. I wanted to make molasses cookies, but they turned out a) completely smooth, not crackly like molasses cookies are supposed to be and b) very dry and crumbly on the inside. I tried to save them by adding an eggnog glaze, which I think does help, but… meh. From my online troubleshooting, it seems like my oven is the problem. (My understanding is that the crackly tops come from a combination of rolling the dough in sugar to dry it out, and having a nice hot oven.) I am pretty irritated with our ovens. Yes. We have TWO OVENS and neither of them seems to heat appropriately. SO FRUSTRATING. You should have seen how pale our Thanksgiving turkey was. It was cooked through, but it needed some time on the Jersey Shore with a bottle of baby oil. 

• During our marathon errand day, Carla came across a selection of dog toys. She promptly burst into tears because she wanted to give them to all the dogs in our old neighborhood. Listen, I am a heartless bitch when it comes to I Really Need That tears. But I got a little misty, too, and I allowed her to buy them. She wanted to use her allowance, but then I had a discount situation that made them free. A Christmas miracle! She wrapped them and I texted our old neighbors and we spent an afternoon going from house to house, giving dog toys (and cookie plates) (although they were last-minute cookie plates, so they were on Hanukkah dishes because that’s all I had) and lots of pets. It made Carla’s day, although I think it also made her sad. It’s so hard to find a balance between honoring her grief by allowing her to visit these old neighbors, while also helping her to move on. I don’t think I’ve got it right. But it was lovely to see our old neighbors, who EACH had a little gift for Carla.  
• Stocking stuffers have been procured. I feel as though I didn’t give you the full story, on Monday, when I alluded to shopping for stocking stuffers and how difficult that would be with Carla in tow. The thing is, I ordered stocking stuffers for Carla (and for my husband) long ago. Or at least long enough ago for them to have arrived already. However, my parents are spending Christmas Day with us, and I feel super awkward about them coming to our home and NOT having stockings to open. It is probably very silly, especially because they are minimalists at heart. But my desire to have Stocking Equity overruled my knowledge of their minimalism, so I got them stocking stuffers. (We have anonymous stockings that we set out for guests, so they will have stockings as well.) And also, I had NO IDEA what I wanted to get for stocking stuffers. The only thing that I really wished I’d learned about earlier was this flexible screwdriver bit. My dad would use the heck out of that bit! It’s so handy! But alas, I only learned about it on Monday when a YouTube ad interrupted my workout video. Next year, for sure. What I really needed to do was wander around a store and happen across the exact right stocking stuffers. And I got the chance during Carla’s music lesson and found a bunch of stocking stuffers that will hopefully be fun and/or personal-ish enough while also not making the recipient feel too guilty about throwing them out. So now there will be Stocking Equity and I am super relieved. 

Kohl’s is the place to go for stocking stuffers. I also got everyone candy. And Carla, shockingly, will get a bunch of other stuff because she is spoiled beyond belief.

Well, that’s it for me before Christmas, I think! I still have the grocery store/garden center to visit, and I still have to wrap some presents. (And Santa has to wrap gifts AND stocking stuffers – WHY, Santa, WHY did you begin such an arduous tradition????)  (Then again, maybe this is the last year Santa will visit our house, and I will henceforth be sobbing about NO SANTA GIFTS????? Parenting is so fun.)

Oh, by the way, I just have to include this here. Carla went to the orthodontist this week (yay, braces in our near future woo) and the orthodontist was very chatty about Santa. He said he sets TRAPS for Santa, to which Carla reacted with scorn. “Do you want to HURT Santa?” she asked, voice dripping with disapproval. No, the orthodontist just wants to SEE Santa, in person! “Why don’t you set up video cameras?” Carla suggested. Oh, but the orthodontist has tried that. And it didn’t work! Didn’t capture a thing. “That’s because Santa deletes the footage,” Carla said, and she might as well have added, “you idiot” because that’s what her tone conveyed. 

SANTA DELETES THE VIDEO FOOTAGE. You heard it here, folks. Don’t try to mess with Santa, even via digital surveillance methods. 

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Assorted Christmas Gift Ideas 2023

It seems like it is probably TOO LATE to take advantage of any gift ideas at this point; so many gifts, even on Amazon, are marked “arrives after Christmas.” Fortunately, we live in an area that has a large number of stores, so we can buy things in person. But I don’t particularly like going into stores. I suppose this is the tax I am paying for procrastinating. 

Anyway. Here are some of the items we are getting for family members, items I’ve asked for, and items I’ve considered. In case you need inspiration – or in case, like me, you enjoy looking at gifts lists and feeling consumeristic panic build inside your soul reassuring yourself that you have done a decent job after all.

Also, if you know me in real life and we tend to exchange gifts: This is the point where you should stop reading, because I am going to spoil the surprise. (All images below from amazon or the website linked in the product name.)

Photo by George Dolgikh on Pexels.com

Stanley Tumbler: This was Carla’s number one most fervently requested gift. EVERYONE has a Stanley, she told me. I did notice, when I volunteered at her school’s Book Fair recently, that quite a lot of kids have one. And it seems like most parents I’ve spoken to are getting their fifth grader a Stanley for Christmas as well. One of my friends said that her daughter’s teacher even suggested having “a Stanley day” in class, since so many of the kids had one (which is problematic in a lot of ways, but hopefully the teacher realized that after the fact and will not bring it up again). So I think this is a case where Carla has a fairly realistic read on the situation. (As opposed to “everyone has a phone!” which is patently false.) I will just say: I think this is an impractical and ridiculous item. The thing is enormous; it has a straw, which means it will be prone to leaking and also prone to molding; it is much too expensive for what it is. And yet I also understand the joy of receiving a thing that is completely on trend. So Carla is getting one. If it arrives in time for Christmas, which it may not. 

Straw Covers: The Stanley requires accessories. Sigh. Fortunately, these are adorable and may help prevent leaks? At least they will provide a tiny bit of germ protection for the straw.

Puzzle: My husband is an enthusiastic puzzler, so I always like to get him a new puzzle for giftish occasions. This one seems like the perfect intersection of difficult but not too difficult. We ended up not getting this one for him, because my daughter wanted to order a custom puzzle that featured a photo of her with her dad, but this would have been my pick if she hadn’t felt so strongly. 

Disney Puzzle: My sister-in-law requested a Thomas Kinkade Disney puzzle – I guess she and my niece have a collection of them, which I think is so sweet.

The Last Devil to Die by Richard Osman: This book is on my own wish list. I adore this series. 

ASL Flash Cards: I haven’t yet done so, but I’m leaning toward ordering these American Sign Language flash cards for Carla. (And for me to share.) One of our family members is losing their hearing, and we’ve discussed learning ASL so we can all continue to communicate. I feel like a class would be a better method, but these flash cards get good reviews and we all need to start somewhere. 

Derwent Watercolour Pencils: My mother recently started learning how to paint with watercolors. She is so talented, it blows me away. I think she has all the supplies she needs for painting, but I came across these pencils and they sound like a fun way to add detail and texture to one’s watercolor art. Not sure if these will be something she ends up using a lot, but hopefully she will have a good time experimenting with them. 

NeeDoh Cats: Carla has loved the NeeDoh balls in the past, and these cats are CATS, so I know she will love finding these in her stocking. Oh my gosh: there are PIGS too. Now I’m not sure what to do. 

Slow Horses by Mick Herron: My husband specifically requested this book, so I’m getting it for him. (I really wanted to get him The Bee Sting by Paul Murray, but my local bookstore doesn’t have it.)

Stuffed Owl: My niece is really into Harry Potter and requested a white stuffed owl. An easy thing to say yes to!

Hogwarts Robe: As long as we’re on the subject, this dress-up robe would be perfect for my niece or other Harry Potter fans.

Harry Potter Sweets: We also got my niece some HP candy for her stocking. 

Truff Hot Sauce: The regular Truff was a hit last year, and this year I’m getting the white truffle version for my husband. Or maybe I will buy mini bottles and give one to everybody.

Chocolate Tasting Kit: My husband sent me a link to a bar of chocolate, and since he has been terrifically difficult to shop for this year, I immediately went to the website to buy it. I noticed that there was a $55 threshold for free shipping, so perused the other options to see if there was anything else I needed to get him, and indeed! there was! I found this chocolate tasting kit, which would be so fun to do with guests OR with a daughter who loves chocolate as much as her father does. I also got a second kit for my parents, because I think they might enjoy doing a chocolate tasting party with some of their new friends. Long and boring story with a really great payoff alert: When I placed my order, I forgot to add the second tasting kit to my cart because I am an idiot; thinking about buying a gift is not the same as BUYING THE GIFT, you heard it here first. I immediately emailed the company to see if they could add on another kit to my existing order but did not hear back, probably because it was a Sunday. The next morning I got a notification that my order had shipped, so – worried about getting things in time for Christmas – I ordered a second tasting kit separately and paid a dumbass tax for shipping. THEN I got an email that they were going to send me a tasting kit and waive the shipping! So I had to call the company and ask if they could cancel the order I’d placed. And they did. I spoke to a real human being, who answered the phone after one ring, and who was completely lovely to speak to. So even though I do not like chocolate, this company has won my undying love and affection right out of the gate with their superb customer service.  

Comfy: My daughter and husband bought me a leopard print Comfy a few years ago. My daughter adopted it and wears it all the time. Lately, she has been wearing it to sleep in so that she can get away with sleeping on top of her covers, which means she never has to make her bed. Gotta love a loophole. Anyway: my mother-in-law admired Carla’s Comfy when she visited recently, and so we are getting her a Comfy for Christmas. 

Karaoke Microphone: Carla loves to sing and has been asking for a karaoke machine. This microphone seems like a good bet. Despite the complete disinterest of the children in the photo, whose hands look fake to me and also why are they wearing wigs. 

Guitar Strap: This is one of the few things my husband specifically requested for Christmas, so he is getting one. 

Leopard Print Heart Pillow: I am resisting buying this with all my might. Carla would LOVE IT. But… we just got her a bunch of new throw pillows. BUT IT IS SO CUTE. AND SOFT. AND LEOPARD. Do you need it? Does someone you know need it? It should be boughten. 

Super Mario Wonder: This would be officially for my husband, but it’s a game he and Carla could play together. 

The Mysterious Case of Rudolf Diesel by Douglas Brunt: This book was specifically requested by my father-in-law, so it’s exactly what he’s getting. 

Temporary Tattoo Pens: We have not had good luck, in our house, with things like makeup and face paint. But I know Carla would love these. Sigh. 

Glitter Tattoo Art Kit: Oh wow. This is even better (and more potentially problematic for my particular kid) than the tattoo pens. 

Friends Socks: My best friend needs these.

The First Cat in Space Ate Pizza by Mac Barnett: My daughter loves graphic novels and Mac Barnett and cats, so this seems like a no brainer.

Ember Mug: My sister-in-law is getting this keeps-your-coffee-warm mug for Christmas. My husband has one and LOVES it. I guzzle my tea before it has a chance to cool, but for people who sip their coffee over long periods, this would be perfect. 

The Ferryman by Justin Cronin: This book is on my own wishlist, but I’m also getting it for one of the avid readers on my gift list. 

Bean Bag Chair: I am really wishing we waited for Christmas to buy this chair. Carla loves it SO MUCH and it’s big enough to have a real impact on Christmas morning. WHY did we not wait???? (My husband is of the opinion that a chair is not an appropriate Christmas gift, that’s why.) Anyway. Maybe you have someone who needs this chair. It is GREAT. 

House Plant: This was one of the things I asked for this year. I would love to get a new house plant, especially if it’s one that requires very little in the way of attention or care.

Puck Sling Game: I am on the fence about this one! I think my husband and child would like it, and it might be fun to have another game that Carla can play when the neighbor kids come over. But… will it be fun enough to play more than once??

Tea Light Raclette: This may be something I have thought about for my mother-in-law before, but if so, I am thinking about it again. She loves raclette, and this takes up so little space.

Dogtown by Katharine Applegate: We got this for Carla for Hanukkah and she LOVES it. Has already finished it. If you have a kid who likes animals and stories told from the perspective of an animal, this is a good one. 

Pet Adoption Truck Clay Craft Kit: This is another Hanukkah gift that was a huge hit. So many tiny clay dogs being made around here. We will probably get Carla another kit from Klutz for Christmas (maybe the candy cart?) because she loves them so much. 

Book Light: I had zero ideas – ZERO – for what to get a friend of Carla’s for her birthday, so we went with a bookstore gift card, a bookmark, and a book light. Carla was very envious of the book light, so now she will get one in her stocking. 

Bier Stein: We have an honest-to-goodness bar in our new house, and I think my husband would really like some fun beer steins from European breweries. 

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Fountain Pens: Listen, I do not know why Carla wants these. All I know is that we saw them in a store and she said, with intensity and fervor, “I have always wanted a fountain pen.” They will fit in a stocking; done

Little Live Guinea Pigs: I feel like Carla is aging out of toys like this, which makes me want to buy her ALL THE TOYS. She loves these ridiculous Little Live Pets so much. So. Much. 

Wordle Game: My sister-in-law turned me on to the existence of this game; she’s getting it for my mother-in-law. And I am in turn getting it for my parents, who do Wordle religiously. (Don’t we all?)

Walkie Talkie Robot: I hate robots. HATE. Carla is obsessed with them, and asks for them constantly, and yet once she owns one, she uses it five times and then it languishes forever in a closet. But. She put this item on her Santa list (does she still believe in Santa, or is she humoring me???) and added a note that said, “Please! Please!” so this is what Santa is getting her. I cannot wait to become super annoyed with it and then watch as she forgets about it in a week. (I know Elisabeth would say, “Just say no to a gift you will resent,” with her typical gentle zen, but I am not there yet, Elisabeth!)

Decanter: My father is getting a decanter this year. I liked the simplicity of this one, and the wood and leather accents add a nice masculine touch.

Taylor Swift T-Shirt: My kiddo is, like everyone else, obsessed with Taylor Swift. I like the positivity of this sweatshirt featuring a Bejeweled lyric. Or this T-shirt, also featuring a Bejeweled lyric.

Warmie: I feel like my daughter and my niece and everyone (including me) needs a warm-up-able stuffed animal. 

Jog Belt: It seems a little weird to be thinking about the pool when it’s 30 degrees outside, but I think it would be fun to have a jog belt to wear in the pool. I don’t really like to swim, but I’ve heard that aqua jogging can be really good exercise.

Kendra Scott Gem Pendant: This is another “all the kids have one!” item on Carla’s wish list. Fortunately, her grandmother is buying one for her. 

Bag Balm: Why yes, I do buy myself the occasional stocking stuffer, and this is going in my stocking this year. Thanks to Elisabeth and Birchie for the recommendation! 

Pikachu Squishmallow: While my child does not need another stuffie, like, at all, she did request a Squishmallow… and she loves Pokémon, still, for some reason… so Santa is bringing her this. Please read this entire bullet with the concentrated resignation that I felt when placing the order.

Opopop Discovery Kit: I have a family member who is a HUGE popcorn fan, and this variety pack would be such a fun way to honor that passion. 

Nodpod Sleep Mask: I have been having such a hard time sleeping in our new house because the lighting situation is so different from that in our old house. And I wake up so easily. Maybe this would be the solution?

Clip On Earrings: Carla still doesn’t have her ears pierced (topic for another post), but has been Very Interested in earrings of late. Her grandmother bought her a pair of these clip ons, and she wears them ALL the time, I think specifically because they look like they could be real earrings for pierced ears. 

Hot Sauce: My husband loves these hot sauces. We lost them all in a power outage earlier this summer, and I know he would love a new set.

Pink Scrunchies: Carla is wearing her hair in ponytails or up in a clip lately, and pink is her new favorite color, so I think these would be a massive hit.

Claw Clips:  She is also very much into claw clips, and this is a nice variety of colors and shapes for not a whole lot of money.

One More Chapter Sweatshirt: Pretty much everyone in my family could relate to this sweatshirt.

Bonne Maman Gift Box: For your jam loving bestie. (Or, in my case, husband.)

Soup Bowl with Handles: This was a request from my mother. How could I resist Snoopy??? Although I have to admit, I was strongly tempted by this set of colorful polka dot mugs, which would work well as soup bowls. I have a set in a more regular size, and I looooove them. So cheery. I also really like this soup and sandwich combo.

Colorful Tights: Carla has been really into wearing shorts over black tights this year. I wonder if she would be interested in adding some colorful tights to the rotation?

Yoga Mat: This is on my wish list (thanks to Nicole for the recommendation!) and I am hopeful that my husband will surprise me with it. 

Bar Glasses: This is me really stretching for gift ideas (my husband’s family sends wish lists around to one another, so I have to come up with SOMETHING), but it might be fun to have some new drinkware for the bar. We don’t have any old fashioned glasses. I like these elegant beer glasses as well. These are fun (they feature the Rockies!) but seem hard to clean.

Bananya Card Game: My daughter has become recently enamored of a ridiculous “show” on TV about these little cats that live inside bananas. I think it is targeted to a MUCH younger audience, but she thinks it’s adorable. She would love this game, and cards always make for good stocking stuffers.

Mini Espresso Machine: My husband has been talking about getting an espresso machine… but then explicitly told me not to get him one… but he keeps talking about wanting one. So I am fretting a little about whether I should have bought him this or not. Will I panic buy it at the last moment? Who’s to say. 

Strange Sally Diamond by Liz Nugent: Birchie recommended this book to me and I loved it and now I am buying it for one of the book-loving people on my gift list. 

Waffle Maker: What I DID buy him is a waffle maker. He has fallen in love with Liege waffles and this waffle maker supposedly makes nice, fluffy waffles. 

Pearl Sugar: My (very limited) understanding of Liege waffles is that they contain pearl sugar, so I got a bag of pearl sugar for my husband’s stocking. 

Woodworking Kit: My dad and Carla have been doing a decent amount of woodworking together. My dad showed her how to use a drill and a saw and they made some elaborate creations together. So Carla circled a bunch of woodworking kits in the Mindware catalogs we get biweekly this time of year. I think my dad is putting together his own version of a kit for her, which I think is so adorable. 

This list feels incomplete while at the same time being overly long, but this is what I have! What are the hot ticket Christmas items for the people in your life?

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Thursday Randomosity: Hot Sauce and Gravel Edition

We are cartwheeling down the last grassy hills of summer – exhilarated, off-kilter, trying to soak up as much summertime fun and relaxation as possible before school begins (Fifth grade. FIFTH. GRADE. Eeep.) while also dealing with all the chaos of moving. My mind is going in a million different directions, which calls for some Randomosity.

We finally told our neighbors that we were moving. I don’t know why we waited, but we did. But we thought we should give people a heads up before the realtor stuck the for sale sign in our yard. The ones we told were a gratifying mix of sad that we are leaving and excited for us. One neighbor seemed genuinely distraught, but when I told her that we’ll be moving to a neighborhood where there are other ten-year-olds on all sides, she visibly relaxed. “Oh, I’m so glad,” she told me. “Every time a house on our block went up for sale, I used to pray that the new family would have someone her age to play with.” I found this so touching – that she would not just think about Carla, but that she would go out of her way to pray for her. This is the kind of neighbors we have. This is why I have such mixed feelings about moving away.

Our house has never looked better. We cleaned and tidied our house to the hilt for the realtor photos and it looks SO GOOD. It has never looked this good. It is impossible to keep this way. Poor Carla. She has been enjoying a TON of screen time because she can’t do anything to make a mess. So much of our stuff has been put away for the sake of tidiness, too. Our realtor specified that we needed to clear off the counters as much as possible, so in the kitchen I had to hide my tea kettle away along with the paper towel holder and the dish scraper and the hand towels. In the bathrooms, we have to put all the shower items (shampoo, conditioner, face wash, razors) under the sinks and swap out our normal towels for “pretty towels” (which I interpreted to mean The Guest Towels, because I am not buying new towels for the sake of aesthetics). All of our chargers have been relegated to the nightstand drawers. Makes normal day-to-day living a little awkward. 

Never have I been so thankful for my zooper. It is getting SUCH a workout. Potential buyers seem to completely ignore the sign we put up inside the front door that says “please remove your shoes or wear these foot covers.” I can tell because none of the shoe covers have been used (although I suppose people could be removing their shoes). And there is constantly grass and bits of dirt and other debris all over the floor. I am zooping all the time. Plus, I shed CONSTANTLY. I knew this about myself, but now that I have to tidy everything ALL THE TIME I am newly aware of how hairs seem to leap off of my skull every time I move. Thank goodness that my beloved zooper seems to have no problem sucking up the rogue hairs. 

It is also good at sucking up gravel. Yes, gravel. I picked up our paper towel holder (similar to this one, if you want to picture what it looks like) to move it from the counter into the pantry where all the shameful things go and the bottom sort of dropped out. Later, when I told my husband what happened, he said, “Oh, that’s probably because I dropped it the other day.” The weird thing was: it was full of gravel. GRAVEL. Like, that’s the weight that the manufacturers used to fill the base. I guess it makes a sort of sense? Maybe gravel isn’t particularly expensive, and maybe it’s easy to access, and it is heavy. But what a weird thing to put inside a paper towel holder, amirite?!?!?! And the gravel got all over my kitchen. Everywhere. Fifteen minutes before Carla and I were supposed to leave for a showing. 

One of Carla’s favorite birthday gifts was a dinosaur mask. I can’t remember if I told you this already? If so, you will just smile and nod through the retelling while you think of other things, yes? My husband and I got her these Therzinosaurus claws because she had specifically requested them. I guess a friend of hers had them? And she was excited to have them, but kept asking, “What about the mask?” (This friend apparently had the mask, too.) So we went to Target and she was able to spend some birthday money on the matching mask. The mask and claws come as a set, too; not sure why we didn’t get her the whole set to begin with. To be completely honest with you, I thought it was kind of a dumb present. But she asked for it, and I’m not sure how much longer she will want to play with toys, so we indulged the request. And I was WRONG. It is an awesome gift. The mask attaches to your face in such a way that the jaws open when the wearer’s jaws open. And the claws go on over top of the hands, so your fingers are still free to do things. It is VERY cool and I think any dinosaur loving kiddo would love it. 

I need to find a new favorite hot sauce. There has been a sriracha shortage for more than a year now, and I ordered a few bottles of my favorite sriracha sauce (Huy Fong) every few months while they were still available online, hoping to wait out the weather conditions that devastated chili crops and stopped production. But I am now on my last bottle. I am finally coming to terms with the fact that I will need to find a new favorite hot sauce. It’s sad, because it is really the perfect hot sauce. Sriracha is by far my most-used condiment. I eat it on tacos and salads and put it in stir fry sauce. This doesn’t convey just how dependent I am on sriracha sauce. We eat tacos pretty regularly, and I cannot eat a taco without hot sauce. Hot sauce is an essential ingredient. Although I haven’t been looking very hard for a replacement, I have tried some store brands of sriracha with no luck. Now that I’m on my last bottle of the real thing, I need to step up my search. I think that I need something that is not pretending to be sriracha.  El Yucateco is my go-to hot sauce for enchiladas and nachos, but it’s too intense for me to put on tacos. Cholula is wonderful on burritos and black beans and rice, but I don’t like the way it tastes with ground beef. The Ortega and Old El Paso taco sauces are okay in a pinch, but not my favorite. Before sriracha came into my life, I used La Victoria hot sauce on my tacos. I suppose I could return to that, even though it’s not as spicy. But maybe this is an opportunity to try NEW hot sauces. I have read a few “There’s a sriracha shortage, try these alternatives” articles and none of them has been helpful. (It turns out that I am extremely choosy about hot sauce. Chile crisp and sambal oelek are textured, not smooth; Tabasco is thin and vinegary. None of these are adequate sriracha substitutes, even if they have their place.) But hot sauce is expensive and it’s hard to know where to start. Do you have a favorite hot sauce? 

What non-essential-for-nutrition-or-life food item, if suddenly unavailable, would leave you feeling most bereft? Sriracha is mine, I think. My husband would probably choose peanut butter. My daughter would probably say ketchup – I don’t think she could live without ketchup. Do you have something you use ALL the time, or love so much that you would feel lost without it?

Speaking of food, as I usually am, I have reached the stage of packing where food preparation is becoming slightly tricky. I have been trying to pack away non-essentials, and have already put together several boxes of kitchen items. This came back to bite me this week when I tried to make paprikas and realized that I had packed the potato peeler. Hmm. Why did you do that, Past Suzanne? True, this is probably the one meal (besides Thanksgiving) that requires a potato peeler, but still. So I had to peel potatoes with a knife and it was not nearly so easy. Then I decided I was going to make muffins for my writing group. (One writing friend has moved to the city for the summer, so my regular writing buddy and I invited him to join us.) But… I had already packed away the muffin tins. THEN I looked for Carla’s dinosaur taco holder for taco night, and… I had already packed it. Womp womp. I wonder what essential non-essential cooking item I will need and be unable to use next. 

My hair is driving me bonkers. It’s been nearly four months since I last had my hair colored, and boy can you tell. The grey is really insidious, creeping in around my ears and in patches at the crown of my head. The worst part, for me, is that the way the grey grows in, it makes me look like I am balding. My hair parts naturally on the right side of my head, kind of at the outer edge of my right eyebrow. But the hair on the bottom side of the part is so pale that it looks like scalp. I don’t think it IS scalp, although it could be that my hair is also quite thin in that spot (gulp!), but whatever is going on, it doesn’t look good. I have been increasingly self-conscious in photos, to the point that I have begun parting my hair on the other side of my head. This is WEIRD. It looks weird, it feels weird. My hair flips up where it shouldn’t. But at least I look less bald, I guess. 

In other aging news, I have a new wrinkle. Wrinkle is kind of a charming word – that bright cheery i, the fun tongue-trip of nkle. But the object it refers to is less charming. This one is kind of like a double frown that bridges the inner corner of each eye over the top of my nose. I do not care for it. Also, I can’t figure out what facial expression is CAUSING it. If I knew what face I was making to develop this wrinkle, I would STOP DOING IT. I have sort of decided that it has something to do with my daily 3:00-5:00 am wakeup, because the wrinkle sometimes stretches over my eyelids into the portion that is swollen from lack of sleep. But I can’t correct THAT, lo how I’ve tried.

My husband and I have discovered a sad truth: we should have done a lot of these home improvements EARLIER, so we could ENJOY THEM. We have been enlisting a lot of professional help to get our home into selling shape, but we have also pulled out the old DIY artillery as well. He and I are GOOD at DIYing, and by “he and I” I mean that I am good at persuading him we can do a thing and then he is good at executing it. (DIY projects require a lot of skills that I lack, like patience and the ability to paint/cut/hang a straight line.) (I am, however, extremely good at driving to Home Depot and buying supplies.) One thing we did this weekend was to replace nearly all of our window screens. I am embarrassed to tell you the state of our screens, but they were ROUGH. And I have no idea why we never even EXPLORED the option of fixing them. Never! I mean, four or five years ago when I was determined to replace our windows, I guess I figured we’d replace the screens too… but beyond that, I never once thought about them except to lament the fact that if we wanted cool, fresh air in our bedroom at night we would also have to welcome a few bugs. The thing is, replacing screens is SUPER EASY. And inexpensive! I have gotten many, many quotes for screen replacement and they range from $42 per screen on the high end to $25 per screen on the low end. But we did it ourselves and it took maybe three hours and about $60 to replace seven screens. This has been the case for EVERY IMPROVEMENT we have done. Why did we wait until the literal last minute?!? When we move into the new house, I have vowed – to my husband, and now publicly – that we will fix things right away, not let them fester for a decade or two until we plan to move out. 

Do companies ever listen to their own hold music? This question is brought to you by being on hold for 26 minutes with the electric company as I waited for a human to help me transfer our service to the new house. My local hospital system has a pretty decent hold line – music, regularly interrupted by brief ads for critical health services, like “make sure you get your colonoscopy!” or “regular skin checks are a great way to identify skin cancer early!” That kind of thing. But the electric company’s hold music is NOT good. It vacillated wildly between normal volume and way too loud. When it got loud, it was full of static. And the “song” that kept playing on repeat would stop abruptly as though a customer service agent were finally going to answer my call, and then start playing again from the beginning. 

Have I mentioned how much I hate the idea of strangers TOUCHING my THINGS? Every time we get home after realtor showings, I feel like I should Lysol every possible surface people might have touched. Yuck. 

Okay, that’s it for now I think. What’s on your mind today?

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Gift Ideas for a Nearly Ten-Year-Old

Next to thinking about the cake, my favorite part of birthday prep is planning the presents. Carla had a few things she specifically requested, and there are a handful of things that I think would make for fun surprises. And even though she will not get ALL of the things below (she is spoiled, but not THAT spoiled), maybe they will spark ideas for the ten-year-old in your life?

Video Bird Feeder: I have seen a few of these pop up on Instagram in the past couple of months, but I didn’t seriously consider getting one for Carla until I read about it on Lindsay’s blog (and then on Suz’s blog). Carla would LOVE THIS. She adores birds, is constantly asking if she can have my phone so she can identify birdsong wherever we are, is often up past her bedtime trying to identify birds in our yard, and happily points out and names birds when we are on walks. The last time we went to the library, this was one of the books she checked out. The only disadvantage I can see to getting her a video bird feeder is that she might never do anything else but look at birds. The only other disadvantage is the price, but I’m betting this would pay for itself in hours of enjoyment. Definitely a strong contender. 

Barbie Dream Camper: Carla requested this camper specifically, and has in fact been asking for it for at least two years of birthdays and Christmasses… so she is finally getting it this year. What we do not need is another Barbie accessory with ten thousand tiny parts, but… well, I can remember the Barbie years of my youth, and how much I coveted everything Barbie. And the years of wanting toys are starting to feel extremely limited. So Barbie camper it is. 

Loki: A Bad God’s Guide to Taking the Blame: Carla picked up the first book in this series on a recent Costco trip and loved it. Getting her the next book was a no-brainer. Her aunt and uncle are getting her the third book.

Katie the Catsitter: Secrets and Sidekicks: Speaking of book series, Carla has also enjoyed the Katie the Catsitter books. We’re planning to get her the third in the series.  

Little Live Pets Pippy Pearl: Another toy on Carla’s list was this animatronic fish. She has an enduring fascination with robot animals, and has wanted this fish for years… well, we are finally making her fishy wishes come true. I expect her to remain interested in this thing for the five minutes it takes to release it into the water. 

Raptor Claws: Apparently one of Carla’s classmates has these raptor claws, and Carla wants them badly. She is still quite obsessed with dinosaurs. 

SmART: Use Your Eyes to Boost Your Brain: I read about this book on Instagram and I think Carla would really enjoy it.

Giggleway Robotic Kit: I don’t know how many robot kits my daughter needs, but she really likes putting them together. I got this kit for her cousin recently and Carla expressed significant envy, so perhaps she’ll get her own. 

Cowgirl Boots: Carla loves to wear boots, but we’ve had some bad luck with boots falling apart, zippers failing, detailing falling off. These boots have NONE of that nonsense, and I know she would wear them all the time. 

Pusheen Stuffie: I don’t know where she came up with this, but she has been asking for “a giant Pusheen.” I think by giant she means… Carla Sized. Well, this is much smaller than that, but it’s very cute. Her uncle called dibs on getting it for her, so I’m guessing it’s a sure thing. 

Whittling Kit: Carla has been… whittling. She is a child of many vast and varying interests. Might be nice to get her a kit (with knife resistant gloves, omg) rather than finding her whittling away with an exact-o knife. *Deep breaths.* One of her grandparents is bound to get this for her.

Sensory Swing: I am on the fence with this one (I have a deathly fear of hammocks, and this looks suspiciously close to a rebranded hammock), but it looks so cozy and I bet Carla would really enjoy it. If not a birthday gift, maybe something to consider for the new house.

ATM Piggy Bank: Carla has a terrible habit of stowing her allowance any old place – on the bookcase, in her desk, in a drawer – and I’m hoping the novelty of this piggy bank will cure her of that. 

Air Hogs Gravitator: This is sort of a drone, but not really. I think I would be much too annoyed by it, so I’m leaning away from getting it for her. But then again, Carla would really get a kick out of it. I imagine lots of ten-year-olds – especially those with much cooler moms than me – would love it.

Gridopolis: This 3-D game of strategy gets great reviews… and I always love a good family game. 

Sleuth & Solve Science Mysteries: This book is seemingly the perfect intersection of Carla’s love of science and her love of Encyclopedia Brown books.

Harry Potter Coding Kit: Carla has gotten a couple of coding kits in the past, and seems to really enjoy them… but then lose interest. But she did really well in her computational thinking class at school this year, and maybe this would reinforce that interest? Also, it has a wand!

Rainbow Throw Blanket: This blanket is so cute and I can already envision Carla wrapping around herself like a toga.

Wolf Fiction: Carla is currently fascinated with wolves, which has seeped over into her reading life. She adored A Wolf Called Wander, WolfWalkers, and the first two books of the Wolves of the Beyond books (we cannot find book three anywhere, including in our library system, and I cannot bring myself to skip it and get her book four, which may be ridiculous but there it is). But what next? Maybe The Wolf Wilder? Or A Wolf for a Spell?

Squishmallow Minis: When we were discussing the many, many iterations of her friend birthday, one of the potential party favors was going to be this set of mini squishmallow farm animals. While we moved on from farm animals (to succulents; we’re doing succulents), Carla was extremely SQUEEEEEE! about these little guys. I know she’d love to unwrap them and snuggle them and assign them ridiculous names and personalities. 

Reading Journal: While my husband is gently pushing back on my desire to get Carla a reading journal, I kind of think she would love it? She likes journals. She likes reading. She’s supposed to be doing lots of reading over the summer. This seems like it would be practical (you know I love a practical gift) AND fun. I mean, sure, fun for a very particular sort of ten-year-old. But they exist!

Joke Writing Book: Yes, I realize that this is kind of a book-heavy list. But books are the best gifts, I think we ALL agree. (Right?) Carla loves to tell a good joke, and she’s been experimenting with coming up with her own jokes a lot these past few months. I bet she’d love a book about how to craft really good jokes.

Create Your Own Secret Language: Carla and one of her school friends made up their own secret language this year. Would it sap all the fun out of it to give her a how-to manual? I could get a copy for her friend, too, whose birthday is also coming up… Hmmm…

Villainous Board Game: Carla loves a good villain, and this board game looks really fun. 

Jumpsuit: One of Carla’s FAVORITE outfits is a black jumpsuit. She wears it all the time, but it’s getting to be quite small. Plus, she’s moved on from All Black All the Time, and has informed me that her new favorite color is turquoise. The child model does not look enthused about this jumpsuit (I would not be enthused either; HOW DO YOU PEE), but I think Carla would be wildly enthused about it.

Finders Seekers Mystery Game: Carla and her father and I love playing solve-the-mystery games together. This one looks both fun and educational, and there’s potential for a monthly subscription if it’s a big hit.

If you have a ten-year-old in your life, what’s a toy/game/book they really love… or a gift you’ve given that’s been particularly well-received? 

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Gifts for a Child You Don’t Know That Well

I am in the market for a gift for a child that I don’t know all that well.

That sounds… odd. So let’s come up with some background details about my particular relationship to this semi-known child.

Let’s say I want to find a gift for the child of someone I sing with in the church choir. So… I know the parent, and I know him in the way that you know someone you see every week for years on end. For instance, I know his spouse’s name and maybe I’ve even stopped to chat if we see each other in Target. I know his kids’ names and I made a plate of cookies for him when his father died last year. His spouse helped volunteer for the donation drive I managed a couple of years ago. Maybe he and I have been in a group text about who’s bringing bagels on a given week. So we know each other, but we don’t know each other well. Similarly, I know his child in the way that you know a child who occasionally sits in the front pew every week during choir practice, and who sometimes reads a Bible verse when the Sunday School comes in for the children’s sermon, and who runs around shrieking with your own child during church potlucks. I know the child well enough to say hello, and to ask how school is, but I don’t necessarily know what the child’s favorite colors are or what they are into these days or whether they own all the Pokémon figures or if they only wear pink. 

This scenario is completely made up, but I hope it helps paint the picture of the relationship in a clear-enough way.

Anyway. This child has been in an accident; it has been extremely stressful and worrisome for the entire family and of course the poor child. The parents have been at the hospital; there have been churchwide efforts to help with childcare. The parent I know emailed the entire choir with an update, so we all have a few very limited details like the child has survived the accident and will be in the hospital for a short time and then will come home and be in a neck brace. It sounds like the recovery will be lengthy, and that the child will be stuck in bed for awhile, but the duration is unknown.

The idea that a child so close to Carla’s age could endure something so awful – well, I’m sure you know what that proximity to near-death feels like, and all the complex emotions it raises. 

My brain has chosen to channel this proximal fear and horror into a compulsion to buy something for this child. It literally feels like the least I can do. But maybe also it would be useful, to help the child get through what promises to be a painful recovery. And maybe it would indicate, to child and parents, just how loved this child is – by people even at the fringes of their circles. Knowing that someone cares about your child offers a kind of comfort. 

I am going into the gift buying process without ANY KNOWLEDGE of what the kid likes or doesn’t like or already has. This kid is a second-grade girl who has older siblings, if that helps in any way. My own child was a second-grade girl in the recent past, so you would think that would help but it does not. You might also assume that many years of buying birthday presents for my child’s classmates might help me here, but again, no.

(Please note that I am not going to text the child’s parent for more information. It is too stressful a time for them. Nor has any one of our mutual friends stepped forward as The Point of Contact, so there’s no one else I can ask. I have brainstormed with a couple of other people in the choir, but we are all kind of at a loss.)

In some ways, I think that it doesn’t matter what the gift is, because hopefully the novelty will help. But in other ways, I would like it to be a good gift. Something that helps make the time pass. Something that isn’t too painful to use/operate. Something that provides a welcome respite from what will surely be a LOT of screen time. 

One thing I’m considering is a lap desk. Maybe something like this, that has a spot for a glass (or pencils) and some cubbies for crayons or coloring books. 

Or this one has a little compartment in which you can store papers and pencils, plus it has a little slot in which you can stow an iPad. It is awfully small, though. 

I think I would also want to buy some easy-to-use toys. Like Wikki-stix, maybe? Those were an enduring favorite of Carla’s, maybe even into second grade. And I think they could be used even if head/neck mobility is limited. Pop-Tubesare fun, too. Or Monkey Noodles. 

Play-Doh came to mind as something that could be operated easily… but then I started thinking about how messy and crumbly Play-Doh can be. Monkey Foam might be a good alternative. Still moldable, but won’t dry out or crumble or smear into the carpet/bedding (I hope). 

Paint by stickers books are another enduring favorite of Carla’s. Maybe they would be soothing/diverting for someone in bed for endless hours?

Speaking of stickers: I was thinking about how, when you break a limb, your classmates can sign your cast. I think it makes it interactive for the kids, plus it also helps make it less scary for everyone and less of an embarrassing “thing” for the kid wearing the cast. I wonder if there’s something similar for a neck brace? A friend suggested the kinds of stickers you put on water bottles. Without knowing at all what the brace will be made of, I wonder if that would work?

Magnetic Tic-Tac-Toe might be fun, especially for the siblings to play together.

Or maybe these tangram puzzles – also magnetic – would be a fun challenge?

I wonder if this particular child would enjoy coloring? This pillowcase looks fun – and it seems kind of gleefully wrong to use markers on the bedding!

While I’m a little suspicious of how well this will work, I think the idea is so cool: a projector that shows images of dinosaurs, planets, or stars on the ceiling or walls. 

A book of games and puzzles would definitely be useful. Maybe along with some cute pencils that never need sharpening.

Stuffed animals seem to be a hit even with the ten-year-old set, and I love this little tree full of stuffed friends.

Are there other options I’m missing? What would you get for a bed-bound child about whom you knew very few details? 

And would you get the child’s siblings anything? (And if so, what?) I keep thinking, this has been traumatic for them, too! Maybe they would also appreciate a little giftie. 

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Five for Friday

First things first: I love you. You are so kind and generous of heart and so supportive. When I post things like I did yesterday, I immediately feel like I should delete the post. It makes me feel so self-pitying and like I’m fishing for optimism and super vulnerable. Thank you for reading and being so lovely.

DRASTIC TONE AND SUBJECT CHANGE

I took one day off from posting about holiday stuff and now I’m BACK with holiday topics! 

1. I have been taking all your advice about gifting. Gigi said I should buy the gift for my friend; Jenny said that she has never regretted the gifts she bought but has sometimes regretted not getting a gift – so I went back to the store and bought the T-shirt that made me think of her. And I included a little note that basically said, I know things are awful, I’m sorry for my part in it, and I will be here if and when you are ready. Ugh ugh ugh. I mailed it, so it’s on its way to her and there’s nothing any of us can do at this point, but I hope it doesn’t make things worse. SKIPPING PAST THIS PAINFUL PART. I also used Jenny’s comment as an excuse to buy my husband a pair of pajama pants. He’d asked for some, and I’d dutifully sent the request along to his family, so it’s possible he will get pajama pants from them as well. But a person cannot have too many pairs of pajama pants. I also bought Starbucks gift cards for three of Carla’s extra-curricular instructors per Swistle’s suggestion and, in a nod to Lindsay’s comment, Carla made a mug for the fourth. We got the housekeeper some fancy candy, in addition to an extra payment. The exterminator is coming next week (silverfish and spiders have decided to spend their holidays with us and I have decided that I don’t like that), so I will do candy and some cash for him. (I adore him, and ever since the last debacle with the pest control company, have dealt only with him which has made life better for everyone, except, perhaps, the exterminator himself.) My husband and I agreed to buy the alarm clock for Carla. I didn’t even have to sway him with all your pro-alarm-clocks-as-gifts statements, although I had them all in my back pocket. In deference to Carla’s preference for wearing All Black Only Black All the Time, we also purchased a pair of faux leather leggings that I think she is going to LOVE. I couldn’t get my husband to agree on any of the perfectly adorable tops I wanted to get her, but I did end up buying her two plain black long-sleeved tees from Primary. 

image from amazon.com

2. The menorah is up! Past Me cleaned it quite thoroughly last year, so all I had to do was set it up. We also have plenty of candles (yay! This is never true!) and even some gelt that I hope is from this year and not several years old. Please forgive the fact that the menorah is set up on my Christmas runner. We celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas, so there is naturally some mixing. However, when I asked my husband whether we could put Carla’s Hanukkah gift under the tree, he was quite definitive. 

I also bought some frozen latkes from Trader Joe’s, so we are all set… not that I have any idea what ELSE we will eat for any night of Hanukkah except the night that coincides with Christmas. 

3. I have already done A Lot of wrapping. It feels… good, I guess? Except that I am awaiting all the gifts from family that may or may not require wrapping. Now that I know how expensive shipping is (SO EXPENSIVE), I am trying to view my relatives’ decision to have Amazon, Target, etc. mail their gifts for them, even if they do arrive unwrapped, with more grace. In the past, I have viewed it crankily as a lack of pre-planning… but it may also be a cost-cutting measure, which I completely understand. (I also understand procrastinating, but… it still makes me a tiny bit cranky.) What I did the other day was wrap all the stocking stuffers. I may have gone a teensy bit overboard in the stocking stuffer department. But stocking stuffers are just so fun! I don’t remember if stocking stuffers were wrapped when I was a kid, but my husband’s family wraps them, so we wrap them as well.

My husband’s family also has stocking stuffers come from entities other than Santa, which is cute but a little perplexing. Plus, it means that every stocking stuffer needs a gift tag. I am SURE we didn’t do that when I was growing up; it was just understood that Santa filled the stocking. Plus… how do you determine who signs for which gifts? For example: my husband got Carla a set of guitar picks decorated with cats. (She will LOVE them.) He said they should be from Santa’s elves… and then changed his mind to Santa’s cat. A) I already “disguise” my handwriting on the gift tags that say they are from Santa, but I really have only so many ways to change my writing style. B) Why does Santa’s cat deliver guitar picks and Mrs. Claus deliver a new ornament? C) How does Rudolph even WRITE a gift tag? He has hooves, not even paws with which he might plausibly hold a pen? 

4. My husband bought me some English toffee from Trader Joe’s as a gift. But then I accidentally saw it and so he gave it me early. He said he’d heard me say, in passing, that toffee is my weakness. This is, sadly, true. And I have eaten my way through more than half of this quite husky container. 

5. The number of holiday cards we are getting is slowly creeping up. We are at fifteen today, which is better than a few days ago but still nowhere near the level I would expect. Oh well. I just sent out some more cards yesterday, and I have three more to address and mail, so who am I to question the lack of cards? Maybe everyone’s a little behind. 

What’s new with you this Friday?

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Stocking Stuffer Ideas

Stocking stuffers are my favorite. I think they are SO fun, and I really enjoy finding fun little things to surprise and delight everyone. They seem lower pressure, somehow, than other gifts. I do tend to get carried away a bit. Maybe by listing all the things I WANT to buy (for myself and others), I will scratch some of that Stocking Stuffer Syndrome itch that makes me panic at the last minute and buy too many things.  

Carla and my husband and I each have a stocking. When we have visitors for Christmas, we hang stockings for them, too. But I also like to include one or two small stocking stuffer-y kinds of things in the packages I send my family members. No idea if they end up in a stocking at all, but it makes me feel like I’m covering all the bases.

For other gift guides and stocking stuffer ideas, check out my previous gift guides here.

Magic Rainbow Puzzle Ball: Carla has one of these puzzle balls and plays with it all the time. I think it’s simpler (and therefore more satisfying) than a Rubik’s Cube. My niece will get a kick out of it. Image from amazon.com

Tiny-Ice Cube Tray: This is going in my husband’s stocking. The backstory is that we visited a friend this summer who had an ice machine that makes tiny ice. My husband was enthralled. We have no place to keep a tiny-ice maker, not to mention this is a little more extravagant than I like to think ice should cost (yes, even though our fridge is broken and the ice maker no longer produces ice). So this is my nod toward his desire for tiny ice. Image from amazon.com

Slinky: Why do we not have one of these yet? We have stairs, Carla would love this.  Image from amazon.com

Cajun Peanuts: For those who don’t love sweets in their stockings (we do exist!). Image from parkerspeanuts.com

Spiky Finger Rings: These just look like fun things to fidget with. The package comes with 12, so I could split them up among Carla and my niece (and myself???).  Image from amazon.com

Meat Chopper: This is one of my favorite kitchen tools of all time and I have recommended it a lot. I use it primarily to break up ground beef for tacos or spaghetti sauce, and yet it’s something I would replace immediately if it broke or got lost. Image from amazon.com

Perfume Samples: I could never buy perfume/cologne for someone – too expensive! too big a commitment! – but it would be super fun to find a sample I think someone would like and stick it in their stocking to try. (You can search the site by note – like grapefruit or tea – and then read the descriptions of the perfumes/colognes that pop up. Then you can order a .7 ml sample for around $4-$8. It is very easy to fall into an aromatic wormhole though, so be warned.) Image from luckyscent.com

Silicone Straws: Who doesn’t love a straw? Especially one that is easy to clean, as these purport to be. Image from amazon.com

Photo Phone Holder: This would be such a perfect gift for a grandparent – or many other special friends and relatives. Image from Shutterfly.com

Toothpaste Tablets: This is something I have always been curious about, but haven’t wanted to buy just in case I hated them. But they would make the perfect stocking stuffer. Image from amazon.com

Stress Balls: I bet every one reading this knows someone who needs a tiny neon stress ball. Image from amazon.com

Beanie: Half of the profits made on the sale of all Love Your Melon hats goes toward preventing pediatric cancer. Image from amazon.com

Personalized Post-It Notes: Do other people go through post-it notes like air or water? We do. I have post-it note pads everywhere. These custom options are really cute. (Shutterfly has photo options, too.) Image from vistaprint.com

Shea Moisture Leave In Hair Treatment: My sister-in-law got me a bottle of this stuff last year and I love it. It smells great and it cuts down on frizz while leaving my hair feeling light. Image from amazon.com

Mini Squishmallow: The only thing better than a Squishmallow is a mini one, and this variety pack would be great to break up among multiple stockings. Image from amazon.com

Snake Puzzles: These remind me of the snake puzzles we got for Carla for our road trip. I think they would be a lot of fun for Carla and her cousin to find in their stockings. Image from amazon.com

BLK & Bold Coffee: Is it even Christmas if I don’t get my husband new coffee to try? This brand donates 5% of profits to help at-youth risk. Image from amazon.com

Gel Ink Pens: Pens are practical and these ones are pretty. Image from amazon.com

Motivational Temporary Tattoos: These are pretty and I like having a little reminder to be good to yourself scripted on your skin where you can’t avoid it. (The “smile” one makes me think of Men of a Certain Generation, though, so I might skip that one.) Image from ulta.com

Cat Socks: I want these for me, but Carla probably also wants them for her.  Image from amazon.com

Worry Dog: Forgive me – I cannot remember where I read about this, but it is SO cute and I can imagine having it in my pocket or on my desk and stroking it softly and feeling better about life. Image from etsy.com

Rainbow Pencils: I adore these rainbow pencils. ADORE THEM. They are definitely making their way into Carla’s stocking. If I ever used pencils, I would buy some for myself. Image from amazon.com

Scalp Massaging Brush: I would love one of these in my stocking! Image from amazon.com

Fun Shoelaces: I love these purple ombre laces, but there are so many options. Tie-dye! Metallic! Cheetah print! Image from amazon.com

Fancy Candy Canes: This site has all sorts of interesting candy cane flavors. Nutmeg! Birthday cake filled with frosting! Raspberry chocolate! And candy canes would be so festive in a Christmas stocking! Image from hammondscandies.com

Salt Sampler:  This little tin of sea salt blends sounds so fun! Image from beautifulbrinysea.com

Customizable Pencils: These would be so fun, too! This would make a great teacher gift! Image from etsy.com

Pride Mug: This mug is simple and elegant and 25% of the purchase price goes to support The Trevor Project (which provides crisis intervention for LGBTQ+ young people).  Image from potterybarn.com

Flipbook Kits: Did you ever make flipbooks when you were a kid? I loved making them and then flipping through the cartoon to see it move. These are less labor intensive but still enjoyable. Image from uncommongoods.com

Linen Spray: I adore a good linen spray, and this one from Thistle Farms sounds so lovely and sleep-helpful. Image from thistlefarms.com

Pickle Ice Pop: You should see my face right now, but my pickle-loving child might get a kick out of this. Or maybe the giant gummy pickle is more her style, hard to say. Image from candycarrollton.com

Monopoly Deal: Karen A. recommended this card game as quick (20 minutes) and fun. It is the perfect size and price for stocking stuffing. Image from amazon.com

Reader’s Wine Glass: The only thing better than sipping a nice mug of hot tea while reading a good book is sipping a nice glass of wine while reading a good book. Image from etsy.com

Jelly String Noodles: These look fun. They remind me of the WikkiStix days – oh man, Carla got so many hours of quiet play out of those things. Image from amazon.com

Holiday Deodorant: I think Carla is a little young yet to need deodorant, but it never hurts to have some around just in case, right? Plus, these are SO CUTE. Not quite sure how any of the scents will smell (spiked eggnog, in my underarms???), but they are fun and festive and novel. Image from target.com

Chili Crisp: I have never tried this myself, although it seems to be very trendy these past couple of years and I have heard big claims like “best condiment ever!” being thrown around. (Disclaimer: I don’t think I would like it because of the texture.) Might be a nice thing for a foodie-type to find in her stocking. Image from amazon.com

Japanese Barbecue Sauce: This is a condiment I would like to try. It sounds like an umami-rich glaze or dipping sauce that has no relationship to what we in the U.S. know as barbecue sauce. Image from amazon.com

Juggling Balls: My mom was starting to teach Carla how to juggle over Thanksgiving, but we didn’t really have any appropriate juggling items. (A whiffle ball, a stress ball, and a tennis ball aren’t ideal, I gather.) These will be perfect for her stocking. Image from amazon.com

Fair Isle Ankle Socks: These are super cute. So are the snowflake ones, which my husband might like.Image from bombas.com

Sipping Chocolate: Seems like every year I get my husband a new sipping chocolate to try – he loves it. This one from Chocolat Uzma is the perfect price for a stocking stuffer… and don’t forget to ogle all the gorgeous chocolates on the website. Image from chocolat-uzma.com

5-in-1 Snowball Maker: My daughter loves her one-at-a-time snowball maker, and spends a lot of time outside making huge piles of snowballs, one by one. She would adore this. It’s not really sized for stockings, but it’s priced right. Image from amazon.com

Heart Snowball Maker: Oooh this is more stocking-sized. Please ignore how creepy the picture is. Image from amazon.com

Abandon All Artichokes: I’m always looking for fun card games to play with the family, and this looks cute. Plus, it’s geared toward slightly older kids (the box says age 10+).  Image from amazon.com

Beautiful Stickers: I cannot remember where I heard about this artist who creates gorgeous products with a social justice edge, but I love pretty much everything on her site. A fun sticker (for your water bottle, computer, notebook, etc.) would be a great stocking stuffer. Or look! Three stickers for $10!  Image from graydaystudio.com

Mini Olive Oil: Or vinegar. Image from saratogaoliveoil.com

Herb & Olive Focaccia Mix: This would go great with the aforementioned teeny bottle of olive oil. Image from amazon.com

Tea Pigs Collection: At about $25, this is more than I usually like to spend on a stocking stuffer. But since there are 12 teas in the bundle (and you can choose which teas you want!), you could certainly break this up among several friends or family members. Image from teapigs.com

Candy You Ate As a Kid: These little bags of nostalgic candy, sorted by decade, sound really fun – especially for adults. While I can’t speak to the 1920s and 1930s bags, the 1980s bag looks like it gets it just right. Double Bubble! Warheads! Nerds! Image from oldtimecandy.com

Fidget Toy Pencil Topper: I can’t recall if I’ve shared these here before, but they are a big hit with Carla. Image from amazon.com

Stovetop Potpourri: You can make this at home – although, in my opinion, it’s only worth it if you make a bunch of it to give as gifts – or you can buy cute little packages to put in stockings. Image from etsy.com

I wish I could buy ALL these things for everyone on my list… but it is more likely I will buy three or four things for Carla, one or two things for my husband, and then one thing each for the rest of my family members. But it’s so fun to look for little gifts that will delight my loved ones without breaking the bank.

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Great Big List of Holiday Gift Ideas

For hundreds more gift ideas, you can find previous years’ gift guides here.

I got cocky, friends. Because my parents were here for Thanksgiving, I made sure all their gifts had arrived and were wrapped so they could take them home when they left. It felt good, being so ahead of the game, so prepared. 

My husband and I are giving each other the gift of new Apple watches this year, so that was done and dusted as well. Plus, I got him a few other little things just so he’d have some surprises to open. 

Riding high on all this advance gifting, I completely forgot that I have many other people to buy gifts for. Including Carla. So my old friend Holiday Panic has once again arrived on my doorstep. My problem is not lack of ideas. I collect ideas all year long, and label them with the person I have bookmarked them for. Plus, everyone on my husband’s side sends wish lists, which makes things simpler. And yet… I overthink! And hem and haw. And then once I am finally settled on what I think the gifts should be, I present them to my husband and he weighs in. (Is this an ideal system? No. And yet it is the one we must work with.)

Right now, I have completed the information gathering stage of the gift-giving process and am in the contemplation stage. Below are things I’m considering for some of the folks on my list but haven’t yet purchased. If you are still in the information gathering stage for one or more of your gift recipients (or for yourself!), I hope these ideas offer a little inspiration.

Cotton Candy Machine: Santa is bringing this for Carla. While my husband and I are not particularly pleased (do we really need more sugar? won’t everything be sticky?) we are not arguing with Santa, especially because neither of us can think of any other appropriate “big” gift. Also because this will DELIGHT Carla. Sigh. Of course, the flossing sugar is sold separately, so Santa will have to bring that too. Image from amazon.com

Monopoly: Speaking of gifts I am getting Carla even though it makes me cranky. This is one of the worst games of all time (only topped by Life, in my opinion) but Carla has been asking for it for years. There are also all sorts of different branded versions of Monopoly, which I don’t understand? Star Wars? Friends? Unicorns and Llamas? So I am just going with the ol’ standard. Can’t wait to play. Nope – change of plans. My husband wants us to get her the Sparkle version. That is what we’ll do. Now concludes way too much thinking about Monopoly. Image from amazon.com

The Violin Conspiracy by Brendan Slocumb: This came out way back in February, but it seems like it would appeal to both of my parents so I bought it for them to share. Image from amazon.com

Chocolate Bees: CHOCOLATE BEES. Image from johnandkiras.com

Mayhem in Library Puzzle: My husband is a puzzle fan extraordinaire, so obviously I will get him a puzzle. But which one? This one looks fun and challenging. Image from amazon.com

The Sunny City Puzzle: Probably I will get him this one, which is the third in Series One of the Magic Puzzles. (He has done the other two in Series One.) He really loves these “mystery” puzzles. Image from amazon.com

Beyond the Kelp Puzzle: Or maybe I will get him another Odd Pieces puzzle. He loved the Turbo 3000 one, which is a mystery in a different way from the Magic Puzzles. Image from amazon.com

Dog Park Puzzle: Okay, this is the last of the puzzles. But it is SO CUTE. I love the bright happy colors. Does it matter if I love it, considering you breeze in every few days to add one piece and then breeze out? you ask. Well, no. Except that the puzzles live in my dining room until they are complete, so it’s nice when they are aesthetically pleasing. Image from amazon.com

Library Tote: This is so cute. I have a friend in mind who would love this. Image from etsy.com

Telestrations: We already own this – I bought it immediately after reading about Allison’s experience playing it – but it is SO fun. Carla loves it. It’s like telephone meets Pictionary. According to my husband, it is more of an activity than a game, but it’s really enjoyable and one of the few games that works for elementary-age kids as well as adults. Image from amazon.com

Petite Zebra Garden: Who doesn’t love a succulent? This one is so pretty! Image from lulasgarden.com

Barbie Hatch and Gather Egg Farm Playset: Carla professes to still love Barbies, and how much longer will toys appeal to her anyway? So I am leaning toward getting this set for her. She really likes the tiny Barbie animals better than the dolls anyway. Image from amazon.com

Squishmallow: I do not get Squishmallows, aside from how soft and cuddly they are, but they are all the rage with the fourth grade set this year.  Image from amazon.com

It’s Raining Pigs and Noodles by Jack Prelutsky: Carla loves poems, and this was one of the books we were considering for her birthday but didn’t end up getting.  Image from amazon.com

Runny Babbit by Shel Silverstein: Here’s another book of poems that Carla would love (she is an avid Silverstein fan).  Image from amazon.com

Cat Lamp: Carla would love this because she hates falling asleep in a dark room, but it would also be perfect for younger kids (or adults!). Image from amazon.com

Killers of a Certain Age by Deanna Raybourn: My parents love mysteries, and they both got a kick out of the Thursday Murder Club books… this seems kind of along the same lines and sounds fun. Image from amazon.com

Electric Wine Opener: I got one of these as part of a Fab, Fit, Fun box, and I LOVE IT. So easy to use, no broken corks. I think my parents and in-laws need one of these. Image from markandgraham.com

Jean Jacket: If you happen to have a child with a temperament similar to Carla’s, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this jacket. It is cute and durable and my child has worn it to school nearly every day since I bought it for her in September. Yes, she wears it under her winter coat. She says it makes her feel like a rockstar.  Image from amazon.com

Joan Jett T-Shirt: I really, really want to get Carla this T-shirt. Wouldn’t it go great under her jean jacket? But it’s not in her size and I think the adult version would be too big. Image from etsy.com

The Revolutionary: Samuel Adams by Stacy Schiff: My mother is a history buff and also loves biographies, so this was a shoo-in for her gift this year.  Image from amazon.com

Go Away I’m Writing Socks: My writer friend and I both need a pair of these. Image from redbubble.com

Devotions by Mary Oliver: Thanks to Nicole’s effusive mentions of these poems, I am in possession of this book and it is wonderful. Also, it is UNDER TEN DOLLARS (at the writing of this post), alert alert!  Image from amazon.com

Mary Oliver Sweatshirt: Words to live by. While reading your new copy of Devotions. Image from etsy.com

Animal Drawing Set and Digital Art Lessons: My kiddo loves to draw, and she really likes things with an online instruction component. I think this would be right up her alley. Image from amazon.com

Hey Clay: Along similar lines, these little sculpting kits (also with a digital instructive element) were a huge hit with Carla when she was slightly younger. So if you have a kid who likes crafting/sculpting who also likes to follow instructions, this is a gift you need to buy. Image from amazon.com

Sunrise Alarm Clock: You know I love a practical gift, and I am very weary of a) waking up before my alarm because Carla’s is blaring and she is blissfully sleeping right through it and b) having to go through the very long and touchy process of dragging Carla out of sleep. This will solve all our problems, surely? Image from amazon.com

SoulKu Necklace: This might be the opposite of practical, but I absolutely adore these gorgeous necklaces, imbued with things like confidence, self-esteem, or courage. Image from soulku.com

Remote Control Tarantula: Carla has been begging for one of these for at least two years. I am so reluctant to get one for her (I sense lots of jump scares in my future), but she has asked for so few things this year! Image from scientificsonline.com

Bubble Machine: Carla still loves bubbles and would enjoy this so much… although this feels like it would be more appropriate for her birthday when she can go outside and use the thing right away. Image from amazon.com

Baseball Stadium Pint Glasses: I feel like this is the kind of thing I look at with interest for every opportunity I have to buy gifts for my husband, and never end up actually buying it. But here I am again, looking at it with interest. Image from uncommongoods.com

Robot Kit: Carla has been asking for a robot – one that will do her bidding, specifically; LOL good luck Carla – so this is the one my parents are getting for her. My husband and I are getting the same one for our niece so the girls can take over the world together. Image from makeblock.com

Cookbook: Nagi is one of my go-to food bloggers. I have never made a recipe of hers that I didn’t LOVE, and plenty of her recipes are things I make over and over. This cookbook would make a terrific gift for the foodie in your life. Image from amazon.com

Wireless Meat Thermometer: My husband got me this thermometer awhile back and it is AMAZING. We used both probes this year to cook the turkey, and the turkey was cooked perfectly and on time for the first time ever. My mother-in-law requested something similar, so I think this is a good candidate for her gift. Image from amazon.com

Fish Plate: This plate is gorgeous, and speaks to me as a Pisces. Image from goodeeworld.com

Butterfly Wings: I saw these and thought they were so fun and beautiful, and then it struck me that Carla has probably outgrown this kind of thing. That makes me really sad, but maybe her cousin would still find them magical. Image from mindware.com

Cooking Challenge Kit: We are big fans of Master Chef Jr. and British Bake Off Junior around here. I bet Carla would enjoy cooking up her own challenge creations. Image from mindware.com

Peanut Butter Sampler: My husband adores peanut butter, so of course I had to get him a sampler from Off Beat Butters. Image from cleansimpleeats.com

Jam Sampler: Peanut butter makes me think of jam, and jam makes me think of having a jam plan, and I am sure Monica Geller would agree that jams make good gifts. This sample from New Canaan Farms looks fancy. (Would make a good hostess gift, too.) Image from newcanaanfarms.com

Origami Kit: Paper crafts are a perennial favorite around here. Image from amazon.com

Hair Chalk Salon: Carla would LOSE HER MIND over this. She loves hair chalk (I, however, do not). Image from amazon.com

Beer Can Glass: There’s something I find very simple and elegant about this glass-shaped-like-a-beer-can. Image from crateandbarrel.com

Sweatshirt Weather Candle: I love this candle, but even more fun is looking at all the other irreverent and ballsy options on That Gay Guy Candle Company’s website.  Image from thatgayguycandlecompany.com

Fujifilm Instax 11:  This little camera is on my niece’s wish list this year. How adorable is it?! Image from target.com

Instax Carrying Case: Now the question of whether you get the carrying case and camera in the same colors, or different ones… Hmm… Image from amazon.com

Schitt’s Creek Earrings: My sister-in-law wears fun earrings, so I got her some from a show we both like.  Image from etsy.com

Illustrated Version of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J. K. Rowling: We got Carla the entire set of these beautiful books a few years ago and she loved them. Perhaps my niece would be interested as well? Image from amazon.com

Pocket Microscope: I don’t know exactly what Carla or her cousin would use this for, but I bet they would come up with something wonderful.  Image from amazon.com

Bug Vacuum: I don’t know why Carla wants this, but she asked for it specifically. And honestly, if she plans to take over our in-home bug removal, I am not standing in her way. Image from amazon.com

Gratitude Journal: This one is extremely irreverent, but it makes me giggle. I have a couple of people in my life who would really enjoy this. Image from amazon.com

Def Leppard Artistry Palette: Lovely reader Allison R. asked me for advice on makeup for the tween set… and I am sorry to say that my advice is “rely on people who know makeup.” A friend got this makeup palette for Carla, probably because of the leopard on the front. Carla LOVES it. We have lots of talks about appropriate times/venues for wearing makeup when you are NINE. Image from revolutionbeauty.us

Hot for Hue Artistry Palette: Another friend, whose daughter is very into makeup now (she is NINE), got this little palette for Carla. It lives in the uppermost regions of my linen closet with all of Carla’s makeup, because she loves it a little too enthusiastically.  Image from ulta.com

Paradise on Ice Palette: This palette is made specifically for kids, and I have purchased it in the past for Carla’s makeup-loving friends.  Image from petitenpretty.com

Makeup Starter Kit: This looks like it would be perfect for a makeup fan who’s a little younger than Carla – five or six, maybe.  Image from kleenaturals.com

Butterfly Oasis: Carla would love this, and I bet my mother would too. Image from uncommongoods.com

Bud Vase: I feel very strongly that you or I need to own this. Image from anthropologie.com

Treasury of Egyptian Mythology: My niece is really into mythology right now, and I think she’d love this (she is a huge fan of Cleopatra). Image from amazon.com

D’Aulaires’ Book of Greek Myths: This was a book I checked out from the library over and over when I was a kid, and I bought it for Carla two years ago. Maybe my niece needs it too! Image from amazon.com

Lap Desk: I have one of these (although mine is nowhere near as pretty) and love it, and Carla saw one recently and mentioned she might like one. Why not?  Image from amazon.com

Slippers: My husband’s only slippers are a pair of giant hairy bear feet (which, of course, are delightful). I think he might wear these more frequently. Image from nordstrom.com

Comfy Wearable Blanket: My daughter got me one of these as a gift several years ago but she is the one who wears it near-daily in the cold months. It is bigger than she is and she swears it is the most comfortable thing ever. Image from amazon.com

Wearable Throw: And here is the elegant, upscale version of the Comfy. Image from nordstrom.com

Friendship Bracelet Kit: This was on my niece’s wishlist. Second grade is definitely when friendship bracelet fever began in our house, peaking in third grade. Image from amazon.com

Smartphone Photo Vault: While I have to admit I didn’t realize Sharper Image was still around, I think I may end up getting this for my mother-in-law. Image from sharperimage.com

All the Broken Places by John Boyne: My father-in-law is – as are we all, right? – a huge John Boyne fan. I think he needs the author’s newest book. Image from amazon.com

Undelivered: The Never-Heard Speeches That Would Have Rewritten History by Jeff Nussbaum: This is another one that sounds right in my father-in-law’s wheelhouse. Image from amazon.com

Nail Stamper: This is so cute and looks like so much fun. Image from amazon.com

Interesting Facts for Curious Minds: Carla got a book of random questions at her school book fair this fall, and loved it. I think she’d enjoy this just as much.  (Or we can wait until Volume 2 of the random questions series comes out in January.) Image from amazon.com

Chocolate Melting Pot: I’m not sure what my mother-in-law has in mind for this wishlist item, but I would like to be involved. Image from amazon.com

Fender Sweatshirt: My guitarist husband needs this for sure. Image from kohls.com

Iconic Guitars T-Shirt: Or maybe this T-shirt.  Image from etsy.com

Personalized Guitar Picks: These picks are Carla’s gifts to her dad this year.  Image from etsy.com

Mobile Gaming Controller: Speaking of my husband: He recently – finally – got a PS5, and he would like this for gaming wherever we go. Image from amazon.com

Kid Spy Books: I really wish I had someone to buy these books for. Carla and her dad read them all last year and they were So Great. Full of humor and history and adventure and 80s references for us millennial parents. I keep hoping Mac Barnett will come out with a new one, but so far no dice. Image from amazon.com

The Three Billy Goats Gruff by Mac Barnett: There IS a new picture book – part of a new fairy tale series, apparently? – by the wonderful writer/illustrator team of Mac Barnett and Jon Klassen. How I wish we were still in the picture book phase!  Image from amazon.com

Odder by Katherine Applegate: Speaking of books I have already bought and want desperately to buy for someone else: this book-in-verse was a HUGE hit with Carla, whose favorite genre of books is Animal Centric Adventures with a Heartwarming Element. Image from amazon.com

A Wolf Called Wander by Roseanne Parry: This is another book that Carla absolutely adored. But she checked it out from the library, so we don’t own it. And it’s only $7… maybe I need to get her her own copy. (This is how a life of book overbuying begins, I suppose.) Image from amazon.com

Wolf Plush: And I could get her a wolf stuffie to go with the book!!!! My husband is never going to support this plan. Image from amazon.com

Frasier Fir Candle: I read somewhere that this is the ultimate Christmas-smelling candle.  Image from amazon.com

Tea, Book, and Oxford Commas Mug: I do not, under any circumstances, need another mug. But if I did, I would want this one.  Image from etsy.com

Working From Home Mug: Here is another mug that I do not need but would really enjoy. Maybe for my sister-in-law? Image from etsy.com

Work From Home Socks: She may also need these socks. Image from etsy.com

Treadmill Desk Attachment: I already own this one, but I love it (when I use it). (Treadmill not included.) Image from amazon.com

Space Heater: To round out the work-from-home essentials set, I own this space heater and it makes my office nice and cozy. Image from amazon.com

Turtle Fur Neck Warmer: This is one of the most boring gifts of all time, but I “borrowed” my brother’s turtle fur last year when we were skiing, and it may have come home with me. He’s getting a new one this year. Image from amazon.com

Book Safe: Carla is really into safes and hidey holes. This would be perfect her to store all her special treasures. Image from amazon.com

Grasping Mysteries: Girls Who Loved Math by Jeannine Atkins: Carla truly loves math this year (her teachers are ANGELS) and I want to encourage that in any way possible. Her cousin is another math fan; maybe I should order one for each kid. Image from amazon.com

Flannel Pajama Pants: My husband needs a new pair, these are – according to the NYTimes, the best. Image from llbean.com

Cat Bookends: Carla is running out of space on her bookshelves, and these would come in handy. Plus they are black (her favorite color) and cats (her favorite animal).  Image from amazon.com

Self-Watering Planter: This glass planter is quite a splurge, but it’s so simple and elegant (and practical!). Image from goodeeworld.com

Anastasia Again by Lois Lowry: Carla and I had such fun reading the first Anastasia book together, I know we’d enjoy the next in the series. Image from amazon.com

Fancy Hand Cream: If you know one thing about me, it’s that I love a good tea towel. If you know anything else, it’s that I ask for fancy hand cream every single year for Christmas. A friend of mine swears by this one. Image from ulta.com

That’s it for today, Internet! Lots to contemplate, lots to buy. Now I’m off to engage in the annual back-and-forth with my husband, wherein I try to buy everyone way more gifts than they need and he gently guides me toward a less intense outlay of gifts until we finally settle somewhere in the middle.

Where are you in your holiday shopping? (I know some people reading this are done! Kudos!!! I envy your foresight and decisiveness.) Who is the most difficult person on your gift list this year? What is one gift you KNOW you are buying (or have already purchased because you are better at planning ahead than I am)?

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