I have some bloggy questions for you today. But what inspired this post is a little interaction I had with my husband, who is a Non Blogger. As in, he doesn’t blog and while he may read a few blogs here and there, he doesn’t ever comment on blogs and sees them purely as informative.
Earlier this week, I had the absolutely delightful thrill of connecting with a longtime blog friend. That night, when my family sat down to dinner, my husband asked how my day was, and I went on at length about how fun it was not just to interact with this person, but to see each other’s faces and hear each other’s voices.
“You’d never met in person before?” Carla wanted to know.
Nope.
“How did you get to know each other?” my husband asked.
Just… through the internet.
But that wasn’t enough of an answer for either of them. They were super curious about not just how I’d met this person, but how we’d built a friendship online. For reference, my husband is Not Online; he doesn’t have any social media presence at all. And my daughter is a baby*, so, same.
If I go back to the very beginning of bloggy time, which for me was 2009, I think the possibility of friendships is what prompted me to start blogging. At the time, I was working remotely from my apartment, and I was the primary breadwinner for our household. My husband and I had just moved to a new city for his medical residency. I didn’t really know anyone and I didn’t have the temperament to go meet people in the wild. But I had spent two-ish years reading a bunch of wedding planning blogs, which led to finding and reading people’s personal blogs. I was a lurker and never commented, but I could see in the comments how people were getting to know one another. This was very appealing to me and my personal situation.
So I started a blog, and began commenting on other blogs. Slowly, and despite the fact that I was semi-anonymous online (I am shy and pretty private, which may or may not surprise you), my online community grew.
Speaking of anonymity: My husband knows I have a blog; my parents do as well, and one college friend. (And now Carla, whose primary knowledge of blogs is via really terrible sitcoms.) But that’s really it. If the topic comes up, I may share with offline friends that I have a book blog, but I try to keep my online world private from my offline world. WHY this separation is important is something I have never fully been able to articulate. Maybe something about feeling freer to be myself online when I know I’m not being observed by people I might see during a playdate or around the holiday table? This blog is a space where I can talk about only what interests me, whether it’s weird interactions at the UPS Store, or too many words about shampoo, or rants about stupid rules, or fretting about the great unknowable job of parenthood. I don’t have to discuss politics or make intelligent commentary about world events or craft beautiful prose. It’s my space and I can fill it with mundanity and silliness and whining. The people who read it are here despite – or because of? – the subject matter, so it feels comfortable to keep going in this vein. I don’t feel any pressure to Write Important Things or be succinct or have fewer rambling sentences.
I admit, I have sometimes felt a little weird about posting certain things with the knowledge that my mother or husband could be reading. Not that I am in any way different online than I am off, with the possible exception being that perhaps I try a little harder to be funny in my posts than I do in person. Also, I talk a LOT more when the talking is via words on a page rather than verbal utterings. But it’s not like there’s anything secret going on here. I’m not a covert Flat Earther or anything.
All this is beside the point, which is community. I blog for the community. To keep in touch with people, and learn about their dogs and their kiddos and their aspirations and their frets and their passions and their own everyday putterings. And I feel like I’ve found that community. Twice, now – once before the days of Twitter, which I blame, perhaps unreasonably, for the sharp decline in blogging in the later half of the last decade, and again in the past few years, with a handful of stalwart bloggers who’ve bridged the distance between the two. I love that some of those friendships have bloomed beyond the confines of our separate blogs.
But even though I have had this experience, I found myself really struggling to explain to my husband and child how I’d developed a friendship with people I’d never met. How could I KNOW such a person? How had we made the leap from blog reader / blog commenter to friends?
I don’t know. Maybe it seems strange, to a non-blogger, that you can develop a real relationship with someone purely through written communication. That you can come to know a person, simply by what they choose to post online. That you can form a relationship that’s as genuine as any friendship formed offline.
Maybe some of us simply communicate better via the written word. I feel so strongly that this is true for me. When speaking with people in person, I trip over my tongue, or the words cling together in a way that changes my intended meaning and I end up kicking myself later for not getting my point across accurately or well. I struggle to keep up with the flow of conversation, to take part in a way that doesn’t feel lagging or stilted. There’s none of that in writing. I can think things through. Usually I can go back and revise and make sure I’m saying things the way I want to say them. When I respond to your post, or your comment, there’s nothing distracting me or making me nervous. If there’s more to say, or things to clarify, I can follow up in an email.
One of my dearest offline-world friends is also a friend-through-writing, even though we have also met many times in person. He and I worked together at my last full-time job. While I was in the home office, he worked remotely, from a different state, and it was several months before I met him in person. My first introduction to him was via a series of long emails he wrote me, outlining things he thought I might want to know, describing the position as it had been before I’d arrived, and laying out some things he thought we might work on together in the future. It was informative and provided such insight into the way his mind works, the way he approaches things, the meticulous and thoughtful nature of his personality. And, although we did talk on the phone and in person many times over the years, our primary method of communication was email. Even though we have both since left that company, we have remained good friends. We still communicate a LOT through email, although we also have regular Zoom chats.
Meaningful, real relationships can grow through writing alone. I’m sure people had similarly strong friendships back in the days of letter writing – and how much more slowly those friendships must have formed! (Can you imagine pouring your heart out in a blog post, aching for commiseration or advice, and then having to wait for the postal service to deliver your post and then wait even longer for your correspondent to respond?) But I imagine it does seem strange to those who have never experienced it.
I don’t know if I fully addressed my husband’s curiosity about blog friendships. But his interest made me wonder about you, and your blogging experience. Would you share your experience with me? Here are some questions to get the words flowing. (The first few questions are for bloggers, but there are some questions in there for non bloggers as well.) Also, please do not feel the need to be succinct in your answers. I am a huge fan of novel-length comments; never hide your wordiness light under a bushel around here.
Questions for Bloggers
- Do you have a blog, and if so what is your blog url?
- How long have you been blogging?
- Why did you start a blog?
- Do people in your offline life read your blog?
- Do you tell people you have a blog?
- Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world?
- What do you like best about blogging?
Questions for Non Bloggers
- Approximately how many blogs do you read?
- Do you comment on all the blogs you read?
- Why do you seek out blogs (vs or in addition to other, more formal sources)?
- Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world?
- Would you ever consider writing your own blog?
- If you at one time had a blog (especially one I loved reading), what made you stop posting and how do I persuade you to start blogging again?
Okay, I want all the deets.
And, in case it isn’t clear, I love knowing you. I appreciate your reading the nonsense I post here, and the support and kindness and advice and commiseration you offer. Thank you so much for being here and making this blogging thing such a satisfying, meaningful part of my life.
* Not a literal baby.
I am kinda sorta attempting to complete NaBloPoMo, with the full expectation that life will make it impossible any day now. If you want to follow along, or join the fun, check out San’s blog here.
This was SUCH a great post. I just had this conversation with my husband recently about something I was debating about writing on my blog and he wondered what sort of thing others write about (i.e. are people open about mental health struggles and going to therapy etc) and it led to an eye-opening experience for him about just how close these bloggy friendships can get and how much we feel free to share ❤
Do you have a blog, and if so what is your blog url?
I do! https://optimisticmusings.com
How long have you been blogging?
April 2021, but my old blog got deleted early this fall so I've started fresh ❤
Why did you start a blog?
Because sometimes I needed to say things I couldn't verbalize with my mouth; writing is balm to my soul. I had NO IDEA how much blogging (and by blogging, I mean the community) would mean to my life. I've been going through some very hard things lately and several bloggers have become close friends even though we've never met. I appreciate the layer of anonymity – I can vent and lament and I don't have to bring over a casserole when someone's kids are sick (which sounds selfish, but it's just a very unique and wonderful type of friendship). You know you're one of those special bloggers who has become so, so dear to me ❤
Do people in your offline life read your blog?
Only a few. My husband reads every post. He loves my blog! I don't really censor anything (though tend to not discuss our sex life – which I think I would censor anyway?). My best friend reads my posts. One sister. A few nieces. A few other friends. My parents vaguely know I have a blog but I've never shared the URL and don't intend to. I'd say less than 10 people I know IRL read my blog? I'm very happy to keep it that way.
Do you tell people you have a blog?
Sometimes, but not very often.
Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world?
No and I am SO desperate to change this. I want a huge blogger meetup with You and San and Lisa and Birchie and Nicole and Jenny and NGS and Sarah and SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE (I need to stop listing now, but really…SO. MANY. OTHER. PEOPLE…but not all at once because I'm an introvert, but then again, most of us seem to be?)
What do you like best about blogging?
The people. The wonderfully caring people. The chance to vent and lament, but also to celebrate wonderful things too. Blogging is a safe space for me and a happy space.
Well, first of all, our writing date was the absolute highlight of the week and I was so thrilled to actually chat! And you bring up such an interesting thing: how do people go from blog friends to Friends? It’s kind of a fascinating journey. I feel the same way that you do, in that I can just write what I feel like writing, even if it’s silly or frivolous.
For me, blogging is a creative thing, and I like making it readable. I like taking what is essentially for me a diary, and making it entertaining.
I am not at all anonymous, and pretty much everyone knows I have a blog, even my new friends here. I don’t usually tell people exactly, but they find it out via social media. My husband occasionally reads my blog, and my mom (and aunts!) read it often. My kids know I have a blog but have zero interest in reading it.
I have met a few blog friends in real life, some who don’t blog anymore and some who do, notably Allison! I went to a few blog conferences, and when I worked for YMC I met a ton of bloggers.
One thing about everyone knowing about and often reading my blog is that people know things about me, even if I didn’t tell them in person. That’s a bit of a strange thing, because someone will reference “oh I see you did x” even if I didn’t tell them that I did x. So that can be weird, because people know things about me and I maybe don’t know things about them, if that makes sense.
I feel the same as you do; it’s difficult to explain to others exactly how we establish connections with other people on the internet. There’s a certain safety and distance that allow us to be freer about our feelings and opinions. Unlike Facebook, I’ve found most commenters on my blog to be thoughtful and tactful, even when they disagree with me.
Do you have a blog, and if so what is your blog url? Yes, I’ve been blogging since 2003 at http://teacherwoman.typepad.com.
How long have you been blogging? About 20 years.
Why did you start a blog? A friend encouraged me to do so. Blogs were relatively new at the time. I like to write although I doubted that I would continue since I began right before Labor Day. (and I was a teacher!)
Do people in your offline life read your blog? A few and I wish they didn’t.
Do you tell people you have a blog? Not anymore. At first, I wanted everyone to know; now I’m more private.
Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world? Yes, and I love to do so!
What do you like best about blogging? It’s cheap therapy to write about my life and its ups and downs. Putting words to my feelings helps me process them and often leads to ah ha moments. I’ve enjoyed the connections I’ve made and appreciated the support, advice and humor of my blog friends.
I think my comment got eaten because I wasn’t logged in when I tried to comment initially.
Do you have a blog, and if so what is your blog url? Yes! Veganhusbandomnivorewife.wordpress.com
How long have you been blogging? On this blog since 2020. I’ve had previous blogs starting around 2008
Why did you start a blog? My husband was tired of me inventing recipes he liked and then I’d forget the details so he asked me to write them down in an easily searchable way. It’s grown to be less about recipes and more just my thoughts.
Do people in your offline life read your blog? My husband does and a few friends who have asked for a recipe that’s posted there. I’m very selective though about who finds out about it.
Do you tell people you have a blog? Not really. See above. I like being semi anonymous
Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world? No but I have a text friendship with a blog buddy and I have met a snail mail pen pal.
What do you like best about blogging? Having a place to record my musings and looking back at what I thought was worthy of writing about, and meeting other bloggers.
Non-blogger here:
I read about 10 blogs regularly, and hop onto others when they are linked or if they are found on a blog roll. My interests started with mommy blogs, though the 2 blogs I’ve followed longest are in no way mommy blogs.
I comment on the ones where the atmosphere is friendly/encouraging and if I have something to contribute (or if a random thought pops into my head while reading their post and I just need to get it out.).
I started reading mom blogs because I wanted more information about parenting, and I followed some rabbit holes. I don’t have many friends at the same stage of life as me, and it was a great way to read about parenting without getting into a conversation in real life. Which can be fraught
I’ve never met a blogger IRL, and I’d never have a blog. I’m boring and have a repetitive life. I get my venting done by writing comments.
I have found that a lot of the blogs I used to read have moved onto other social media or have stopped. I’m not doing any social media like instagram, even if I miss everyone’s cute pictures. I guess if blogging is a way for someone to process their life and times, and they can grow out of that need. I found a lot of the special need blogs seem to stop one the kid turns about 3-5 yrs old. The newness of diagnosis is gone, and the parent has a better understanding of life. And privacy , which I bet many people didn’t think too much about in the early days of blogging, seems much more paramount now.
Oh yes, such a great post and really mirrors my experiences/feelings re blogging.
Do you have a blog, and if so what is your blog url? Yes I have a blog: https://thebrightonjotter.com/
How long have you been blogging?
I first started blogging Jan 28th 2007 but I gradually lost steam with the writing and also didn’t want to log as much about family life due to the age my kids were. Between 2017 and 2019 I posted less than ten times for the year. Also I was completing a masters so a lot of my words were going to assignments and also a part-time pastor role that involved sending out messages, short talks etc. I finished all that and decided I wanted another writing outlet that was just for me so I started a new blog last year. It was a slow start but finally got going again due to last years NaBloPoMo.
Why did you start a blog?
When I first started I was doing a bit of digital scrapbooking and a lot of people in that community had blogs back then.
Do people in your offline life read your blog?
No. Family used to read my old blog sometimes. In particular a nephew and niece loved reading but I haven’t told anyone IRL I’m back blogging.
Do you tell people you have a blog?
No. It’s hard to explain to people who don’t blog.
Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world?
I had a meet up with some bloggers who were also in the digital scrap booking world years ago.
What do you like best about blogging
Being able to write about whatever I feel like. Having somewhere to practice writing that requires more thought than a personal diary but less thought than an essay for a degree or publication. I like reading other blogs because I get to read about other people’s experiences which can be very different but in many ways similar.
Aw yiss! Here is the dirt:
Do you have a blog, and if so what is your blog url?
Yup! http://birchwoodpie.blogspot.com/
How long have you been blogging?
Since April 2011, but not seriously until late 2017.
Why did you start a blog?
At first it was simply a place to share recipes and to give me an outlet for my growing interest in photography. Later it morphed into more personal, less foodie content.
Do people in your offline life read your blog?
As far as I know my husband and BIL check in occasionally.
Do you tell people you have a blog?
At first yes, later no. The main reason was just not to bore people, but later I came to value having my little piece of the internet that was separate from real life. I’m not really sure who knows and who doesn’t.
Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world?
Does it count if I met that person IRL first and followed their blog later? That person doesn’t blog anymore and I have no idea if she knows about mine.
What do you like best about blogging?
I dunno, there’s just something about it.
My final two cents is that for a while I absolutely positively wanted to keep “blog friends” out of my real life, but the more I think about it…why? My travels next year will likely take me in the paths of a few folks, so I’m planning to reach out when that happens. You heard it here first.
Do you have a blog, and if so what is your blog url?
I do! https://ngradstudent.blogspot.com/
How long have you been blogging?
My first post went live in September 2004. Next September it will TWENTY YEARS and boy does that seem crazy. I have blogged at least once a month during that entire time and most months it was more than that.
Why did you start a blog?
Everyone else had a blog at that time. LOL. It just happened that I liked it and kept doing it.
Do people in your offline life read your blog?
A few. Not many.
Do you tell people you have a blog?
It’s not a secret, but I don’t tell everyone. I have posted links to my book reviews in my IRL book club’s FB page, so it’s really not a secret. But I think most people don’t read blogs anymore, honestly.
Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world?
Yes! I recently met a blogger who lives geographically near me and we are doing a meetup again next week and we invited another blogger who lives near us who may or may not come. It was crazy when I met this person because we both know so much about the other just from reading each other’s blogs. I didn’t need to do the standard “I have a husband and a dog and a cat and this is where I work and this is how I spend my time” because we already knew it!! It’s been a friendship years in the making, but we’re just now getting around to the F2F part.
What do you like best about blogging?
There are two main reasons I continue to blog. The first is that it’s such a great record of my life. If I need to know what year I went to that concert or when I read that book, it’s there on my blog. The second is that there is an awesome community surrounding blogging and bloggers are my friends. Sure, they’re not IRL, but that doesn’t mean that if I weren’t going to a conference in your city, I wouldn’t ask if you wanted to meet up for coffee! I have had a couple of minor breakdowns on my blog and have been amazed at how much support the community has given me and buoyed me along. And I know that I worry about my bloggy friends when they are going through hard things.
Longest comment ever. I’ll stop now.
1. Yes! http://www.bibliomama2.blogspot.com
2. I started in January 2009. I spent a while telling myself that blogs were horribly self-indulgent, I think mostly because I was jealous that people were finding that creative outlet, when I loved writing but had given up on fiction or ever getting published. I was also intimidated by the technical side – not realizing you could literally Google “how to set up a blog” and be off to the races.
3. My sister-in-law was my main encouragement. We used to exchange long emails about the kids and life in general and she had a friend who blogged and was bad at it, lol, so she was like, why would you not? Also, the aforementioned loving writing but etc, etc.
4. My husband doesn’t read my blog and I don’t really want him to. It’s not a hard and fast rule, but I would feel self-conscious. For my parents I print out posts if I want them to read them. A few friends do, and a bunch of them came when I read at Blogging Out Loud here in Ottawa, which was really nice. My mother in law found it and I felt a little weird, but she was so happy to read, and complimentary, and she lived far away so I could just pretend, although one of my readers was scandalized that I blogged about condoms, as if my MIL might not know we’ve had sex.
5. I met up with a blog friend the first year I was blogging – she invited me to World Trivia Night. My husband was sure I would be found dead in an alley, but it was wonderful. There have been blog meet-ups for local bloggers also, and Nicole and I went to a blogging conference in southern Ontario twice, mostly to hang out together and with our friend Hannah.
6. Like Engie said, it’s a journal and a record of life events. And a really great creative outlet, a way to make sense of my thoughts (sometimes) or just get them out of my head (often). And the community. I tend to stop reading blogs once they get too big and there are hundreds of comments, because then it feels more like a celebrity and an audience rather than a community – which I don’t begrudge them at all, but it’s just not my thing. The people that I’ve gotten to know that I wouldn’t have otherwise are a monumental gift, and it’s added immeasurably to my life.
Oh, and about your husband not getting it – I don’t know how you’d ever explain it to someone who just doesn’t get it. It makes complete sense to me that you would get to know someone’s disposition and some of their likes and dislikes and whether or not you’d click with them after reading their blog. I have never met a blog friend IRL and thought “whoa, I was wrong, get me out of here”.
One year around Christmas, we were out with the kids and got the mail and there was a Christmas card from a blog friend. Eve asked who it was from and Matt said “One of Mommy’s friends from her other life”, and then Eve started singing “She’s got the best of both worlds” from Hannah Montana and that was pretty much worth the price of admission right there.
Oh, this is so fun. Great idea for a post. My response will be somewhat short because I am waiting for Curly’s game to start and I am using my phone and I have had to delete all the dumb ‘?’ Bc of my glitchy phone. Ugh.
My blog: http://www.nosmallfeetblog.com
I have been blogging since Feb. ’13. I started because I am a natural story teller and I decided to start recording some of the stories . . . mostly about life with 6 active kids. I feel like my blog has evolved to an outlet about so a bunch of things that crop up in life along with a comedic twist on the other less deep parts of life.
A few people know about my blog and read it. Mostly it’s a secret. I sometimes mention to people that I have a blog, but under the guise of IF I TELL YOU (the address), I HAVE TO KILL YOU.
I have met a real life blog friend, Suz. We met when I was in Florida in ’22 I think. We occasionally text and call one another too. I never dreamt I would make friends or feel so supported thru my blog, but it has been a true blessing.
Oh Suzanne – I am HERE for this post and the comments!
1. Do you have a blog, and if so what is your blog url?
https://gigisramblings-gso.blogspot.com
2. How long have you been blogging? Since 2009. I may be the most sporadic blogger ever, but I always come back.
3. Why did you start a blog? It was on a whim, really. It was the heyday of blogging and I figured why not try it and see what happens?
4. Do people in your offline life read your blog? Not that I know of.
5. Do you tell people you have a blog? No. Like you (and apparently, a bunch of us) I prefer to keep my blog world to myself. It’s easier to have more open and honest conversations…particularly if it’s something going on in my family that is annoying me.
6. Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world? No, but I know of at least three that live in my area. These three I don’t know well at all (and only one is aware that I’m alive and blogging) and would be uncomfortable reaching out to connect in real life. But I wouldn’t mind running into one of them in the wild.
Now, if my life was one that had me travelling all over the place, I know there are bloggers I’d love to meet in person (including you) and, although, I’d still feel awkward about reaching out, I would do it in a heartbeat.
7. What do you like best about blogging? Hands down, the community. I don’t think that is something that is easily explained to people who don’t blog or read blogs. I also think that a good majority of the personal bloggers (not in it for profit) are rather introverted and blogging is a great way to “meet” people without the awkwardness that comes with meeting new people in real life, as an introvert.
As for explaining the leap from just knowing someone online to friendship, it just happens over time – much like it does in real life. The more we write/talk to each other – the more we get to know each other. Most people, in real life, do not share as freely as we do online and that makes it easier for us to make that leap.
I have also been thinking on this topic off and on for months; but haven’t been able to find the words to adequately express it enough for a post; so I’m glad you did it for me! 😉
I love this, and of course I have thoughts.
Questions for Bloggers
Do you have a blog, and if so what is your blog url?
Yes – Jellyjules.com.
How long have you been blogging?
I started in November of 2006
Why did you start a blog?
Several of my IRL friends were starting blogs, my husband had a blog, and it was fun to get to know each other in this different medium, as well as keep in touch on a more daily basis. Now those friends have all shuttered their blogs, my husband reads my blog but usually doesn’t comment. So I can’t complain there about him coming downstairs in his boxer shorts and a t-shirt and turning on the heater instead of putting on some slippers and a robe, but I will do so right here.
Do people in your offline life read your blog?
If I nag them.
Do you tell people you have a blog?
Some, yes. It’s not a secret.
Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world?
I’ve met a few! I met Nance from the Dept of Nance when she was visiting a friend in San Francisco. I’ve met 3 or 4 others that no longer blog. 2 of them I keep in touch with via Facebook, the other has faded away.
In every instance, the person is JUST how they present on their blog, no awkwardness, and I came away thinking, I wish they lived closer!
What do you like best about blogging?
I like the community aspect of it, but I also like the diary aspect of it. I like going back to old posts and remembering what was going on at that time in my life. Both of my parents are gone, and I like seeing their comments from back when.
Oh, this post hit me right in the soul, Suzanne. It seems so, so hard to explain to non-bloggers why blogging is such a wonderful thing and that some of my closest friends are bloggers! I also come from the world of penpals and have written pages of letters back and forth with people since my early teens (one of my closest penpal friends I’ve known since 1992 and she lives in Sydney Australia and we’ve met thrice now). The transition to blogs seemed so… natural and easy!
Do you have a blog, and if so what is your blog url?
Yes – http://theinbetweenismine.com
How long have you been blogging?
Since 2004.
Why did you start a blog?
When I moved to the US, I thought it would be a great way to stay in touch with family and friends back home. My first blog was in German and basically “diary style”… in 2004, I started my blog in English and have made so many connections.
Do people in your offline life read your blog?
Some people know about it, but mostly no.
Do you tell people you have a blog?
I do not advertise my blog to offline friends (unless I know they have an online presence too) and like you, I can’t quite explain why I keep my online and offline world separate.
Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world?
I have – and it’s been the easiest transition every single time because it felt like I already know the person. Some of these bloggers have sadly given up writing, but I still keep up with some of them. One blogger I have met and you all know is Lisa.
What do you like best about blogging?
I love the community I’ve found online, first and foremost, but I also love blogging as a creative outlet and as a form of diary. I won’t share my deepest thoughts maybe, but I love looking back through my archives and remembering the things I wrote about .
P.S. My husband has no online presence at all and for the longest time didn’t understand why I blog. He now thinks it’s cool and asks about the people in my online world sometimes – like they’re real friends (BECAUSE THEY ARE!).
We definitely are. I am also talking about my online friends like they are real friends so names will be mentioned constantly.
My husband didn’t understand the online friendships I was making on my blog until he went with me (in about 2015) to my first in person meet-up with another blogger. He went because he was concerned it wouldn’t be safe for me to meet a stranger. Now he wants to go along whenever I meet another blogger for the first time because he has such a good time. I think I’ve now met over 15 bloggers IRL. I consider several of them good friends and we’ve even traveled together.
I also don’t tell many non-blogger friends about my blog, I think for the same reasons you don’t.
Do you have a blog, and if so, what is your blog url?
RetirementallyChallenged.com
How long have you been blogging?
Since 2013, shortly before I retired.
Why did you start a blog?
To continue writing, something I really enjoy doing, after I retired.
Do people in your offline life read your blog?
Very few, all curated by me.
Do you tell people you have a blog?
Not very often.
Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world?
Many, I’ve been very lucky.
What do you like best about blogging?
The connections and community.
Hrm. I had a blog but have not posted in years, so I am going to answer a combination of questions here.
1. Do you have a blog? Yes, but it is private these days.
2. How long have you been blogging? I started in 2006? 2007?
3. Why did I start a blog? It was originally a knitting blog! I had gotten into knitting and found knitting blogs a helpful way to find out about yarn and patterns and techniques. And to record all the projects I was knitting so I could make the second sock match even a few months later.
6. Have I ever met a blogger in person? Yes! But mostly because the knitting blog world got me into a knitting forum and the bloggers also post on the forum. We do card exchanges and I started a Random Acts of Beans thing of shipping dried beans to a random person just because. It is a fabulous community and I am always grateful for finding it, even as I mourn the people who stop posting, either on blogs, in the forums, or both. In grad school, I met a ton of knitters from internet. I owe my last two jobs to the knitting forums, as that’s how I met a previous boss (who is now a coworker and recommended me for my current job).
Non-bloggers:
1. I have 92 blogs in my RSS feed. Of those, maybe 28 or 30 regularly post? A lot of people have moved to Twitter/X or Instagram or just slowly stopped posting. I like to re-read the archives of Miss Doxie from time to time, though.
2. I rarely comment. I don’t tend to comment unless I feel like I have something to actually add to the conversation. Being yet another person chiming in to say “yeah, same!” makes me feel shy and useless.
3. I like reading about other people. I find all sorts of cool gift ideas, places to go, things to try. A lot of the blogs I follow are DIY, food, or knitting focused.
4. Yes! I have met a number of other bloggers in meat-space. As mentioned above, most are also people who post(ed) in knitting forums as well as bloggers. I once attended a house-warming for a women who had divorced her husband and wanted to fill the new place with happy memories. Some 30 knitters showed up and we had a fantastic time. There was candied bacon that we dipped in chocolate fondue.
5. Yes. I debate reviving my blog but I have become more cautious about online security and have a kid now to consider his privacy and I also don’t think I am a good story teller.
Do you have a blog, and if so what is your blog url? Yes – Lisasyarns.blogspot.com
How long have you been blogging? Since 2008!
Why did you start a blog? I originally started a Paris/France blog to keep people updated while I was in France for 3 weeks for a grad school program. I had so much fun I decided to keep going and started a new blog. I also was at a point in life where my friends were all getting married and starting families and I was so very single. Blogging allowed me to connect with others without being geographically constrained.
Do people in your offline life read your blog? Yes but I don’t know who reads it. My family and many of my friends know about it.
Do you tell people you have a blog? I do not advertise it but I will tell people if it comes up organically. A few colleagues know but I don’t think they read my blog.
Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world? Oh yes. I was in the wedding of 2 friends I met through blogging and I had 2 tables of blog friends at our wedding! I used to do an annual running trip with bloggers and have done other meet ups and I have met people if I am traveling in their area for work (like Kyria in July and Daria in Sept).
What do you like best about blogging? I blog for the community and friendships that I have developed. Is also blog to a sort of online journal of life. I often go back and read old posts!
Do you have a blog, and if so what is your blog url?
Yes, but I don’t write on any really any more. I need to find someone who can fix it for me, it’s all messed up. Then I will start posting again. Do you know anyone who fixes blogs for free or cheap? HereWeGoAJen.com
How long have you been blogging?
I started in…2006? Maybe 2007.
Why did you start a blog?
It was after my first miscarriage and I googled “miscarriage stories” and found blogs and it spiraled from there.
Do people in your offline life read your blog?
Yes, alas. Someone once posted my blog address right to my Facebook page and there went that.
Do you tell people you have a blog?
Heavens no.
Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world?
Yes, zillions of them. Why haven’t I met you yet? Are you avoiding me? Elizabeth’s best friend in the world is because I met her mother blogging. (Her mother is one of my best friends too, we live an hour and a half from each other. We went on a weekend away trip together last summer with our other best friend.)
What do you like best about blogging?
The community, like you. I’m also very interested in people and what they are doing. My husband calls it nosy. But really I just like to know everything about everyone. Seriously, text me about anything, I am interested.
I’ve been blogging since 2004. Since 2006, it’s been at http://mostgladly.net.
I found the blogging world in May 2004, when it was looking like I was going to miscarry. (I did.) I started my own blog about six weeks later, and at first I wrote a lot about miscarriage grief.
Some offline friends read my blog, but I’m usually pretty selective about sharing the URL. I’ve met a bunch of fellow bloggers over the past 19 years, and some of them have turned into real-life friends with whom I exchange texts and Christmas cards, and arrange meet-ups when we’re near each other.
Blogging gives me a place to be unapologetically myself: goofy, geeky, overthinking, earnest. These are traits I often try to mute in my real-world interactions, but on my blog I can usually just say what I’m thinking.
Also, because I’ve been blogging for so long, it’s a fantastic record of our family’s life. I just reread a post from 2005, and it offers a surprising window into my younger self, full of details I would not have been able to retrieve from the fog of memory.
I’ve been blogging since 2007. I started because I was feeling isolated as a stay-at-home mom and still mourning the fact that my academic career failed to launch. I thought writing abut life with the kids might help me see the good in my life.
A lot of people in my offline world read my blog, including both of the kids. (They sometimes give me edits I incorporate after the fact.)The last person I gave the url to was our family therapist because I’d mentioned it and she asked for permission to read it. She says she usually doesn’t do that, but I am very reserved in person and she’s finding it hard to read me.
I like the interaction with regular commenters, the few I have. Some I have come to consider friends. But I also like going back to read old posts, having that record of our family life.
I did meet a blogger (who no longer blogs) once for lunch. She lives in the DC suburbs, too, so it wasn’t that hard to arrange.
I’ve never been reticent about writing a personal blog so if people in my real life don’t know about it, they’re not paying attention. From what I can tell people who are on my side are into me writing a blog and will ask about it, occasionally comment, while people who have no true interest in seeing me succeed at anything ignore my blog. It’s a fascinating litmus test for the people who I know in real life.
Suzanne, this was sent from the universe. I was just telling my husband about you in the car yesterday. For the first time in 13 years, I actually told him what my blogging friends do, what their lives are like, and so on. And then you wrote this post? This kind of thing makes me happy. I can’t wait to read the comments above, and I plan to share this post and answer the questions you provided. I am so grateful to Ernie for directing me to your blog. I am eternally grateful to my blogging community for everything it provides me on a daily basis. And I am extremely grateful for you. 😘
Oops, I forgot to answer the questions!
1- https://agracefull-life.com
2- I’ve been blogging since 2010
3- I had no idea why I had started at all. I now realize I started because I was a lonely stay-at-home mom. My husband worked long hours, and my family lived several hours away.
4- Many people I know in real life tell me they read my blog. I have no idea because most of them never comment. I believe many non-bloggers believe we can see them reading. 🤣
5- I very rarely ever tell anyone I have a blog.
6- I’ve met many bloggers in person at blogging conferences or meet-ups over the years. But I haven’t met anyone in a long time. Ernie was the last person I met a few years ago.
7- I love the community (the comment sections).
This was SO much fun. I’m definitely sharing on my blog. Thank you for this! ❤️😘
Just testing… I’ve had trouble commenting lately and I don’t want to write a long comment if it’s not going to work…
OMG it worked. okay… I’m a day late here. Yes I have a blog! https;//runnersfly.com
I don’t like to tell people IRL I have a blog. I don’t know why… I wouldn’t exactly mind if my friends knew, but I definitely prefer that my coworkers not know. My husband reads my blog every once in a while, when he remembers. My kids have no interest whatsoever.
I LOVE the blogging community! I’ve met two bloggers in person- Darlene and Cari who both have running blogs. I’ve heard of people having blogger meetups, where they all rent a house and travel there to spend a weekend. That would be SO FUN, and also kind of surreal. Kind of like seeing characters in a TV show all come to life.
I have been reading your blog since you started it. I’m not sure how I found you but have followed your journey through your husband’s medical school, your pregnancy and on. I follow perhaps 8-10 blogs, most of them through Ernie’s sidebar. There is a certain para-social relationship that develops when you follow someone’s life for so long and feel like I “know” many of you, although Ernie is the only one I have emailed back & forth with. I am ‘sort of a blogger’. I write a post once a month, starting a few years back. I had a health business for many years and as I was going to semi-retire I started a blog & newsletter to keep in contact with clients and continue to inspire others to embrace healthy aging.
https://www.patbirnie.com/blog-1
(also several years ago my husband & I walked two Camino Santiago’s (Spain & Portugal). Both time we blogged daily as a number of people wanted to follow our journey of walking 800 km. )
Oh my gosh so so many thoughts here.
Do you have a blog, and if so what is your blog url?
Yes, I do. http://www.craftaliciousme.com
How long have you been blogging?
Almost 11 years.
Why did you start a blog?
I felt I needed a creative outlet while being in an engird sucking, gray job where I was complete wrong. I also had been following blogs for about 5 years or so and was thinking about starting a blog probably for most of the time but was so so scared that no one would be reading it. But when I started that job I figured even if no one is reading I will keep my sanity by creating and documenting my adventures. Turns out some people do read along.
Do people in your offline life read your blog?
I kept my blog secret for many many years. Only the husband knew about it. I think about 4 or five years in I shared it with one of my sisters and my mother. I was so scared. Since I write in English it is harder for my mom and my aunt (who knows by now) to follow.
In general no one reads my blog from my family. Maybe once in a while they remember to have a look but that is about it. My husband hasn’t read in years.
Do you tell people you have a blog?
I do now as I feel comfortable. I also mention it in passing when applying for my freelance projects as it helps tell that I am knowing the blog space. Rarely someone asks what I do.
I don’t promote it though when meeting new people.
Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world?
Yes, yes, yes and it is the best. For a couple of years I went to blogger events so I met some of those people behind the blog. I also actively asked people beforehand those events to meet at the blog event as I am introverted to and feared I wouldn’t manage to talk to them. This way it was easier.
Besides blogging I also have some friends I gotten to know through Instagram and an online book clubs. Some of those people I have met in person.
One of those became a pen pal. We met in Nov. 2019 for the first time when she was in Berlin (she lived in Prague). Again in February 2020 and we joked that if Covid became serious we should start a pen pal thing. In March we exchanged addresses and after that we wrote 20 page long letters. By now she is living in Berlin and has become a good friend.
What do you like best about blogging?
Forming friendships with people I would otherwise never meet, getting glimpses into other peoples life and broadening my horizons about other lifestyles and struggles and becoming more empathetic.
Also it had helped me write better, learn about storytelling and a lot of technical stuff.
I love blogging. I never knew it would be such an important part of my life ten years in.
I have real wonderful friends form the blog world– love it so much.
You are not going to believe this but I actually had pretty much this EXACT SAME POST scheduled to go out tomorrow, but I have postponed it, since I don’t want people to have to answer the same questions in such a short period of time. How funny is that!? We must be kindred spirits…
Do you have a blog, and if so what is your blog url? Yup! https://travelspot06.blogspot.com
How long have you been blogging? Since 2006
Why did you start a blog? I was traveling and wanted a way for my family to keep up with my location and goings on.
Do people in your offline life read your blog? There are a few.
Do you tell people you have a blog? Nope.
Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world? Yes! A lot of them! Everyone is basically just as they seem online, which is so refreshing! It is funny to meet up with another introvert though and often never run out of things to say! That doesn’t often happen in normal in person friendships; I am often slow to get going socially.
What do you like best about blogging? I am with you; the community is excellent!
I SO want to read all the comments and answer the questions! It’ll have to wait until I’m off work, but I loved this post. 🙂
I absolutely love this post and reading all the amazing things blogging has done for you! Especially that it lets you shine and take your time to put your thoughts together to share here, and in response. What an amazing and necessary outlet.
I know what you mean about thinking certain people may be reading that you aren’t thinking about when you’re writing! I forget, almost every day, that people read my blog besides the few who comment.
Do you have a blog, and if so what is your blog url? Yes, kimhastheruns.com
How long have you been blogging? Since July 2005
Why did you start a blog? Because I was going to be living in Italy in Spring 2006 and wanted to document my adventures
Do people in your offline life read your blog? Yes
Do you tell people you have a blog? Yes
Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world? All the time – all of my friends except a few are from my blog or Instagram
What do you like best about blogging? Having a space to speak my mind and document my life
It’s funny to be that people are still like “wow!” and “how?!” about meeting friends online via written word. I mean, people meet their spouses online! LOL. No offense to those people at all, it’s just funny since it’s so normal to us that we think it would be normal to everyone, and it’s just not.
I’ve been blogging a long time and have seen a lot of people come and go but many have become life long friends. I started an art account on Insta during the pandemic and have made a slew of friends all over the world there, many whom I’ve met and consider my closest friends now! I love that we can connect like this! How lucky we all are!
I absolutely love this post and reading all the amazing things blogging has done for you! Especially that it lets you shine and take your time to put your thoughts together to share here, and in response. What an amazing and necessary outlet.
I know what you mean about thinking certain people may be reading that you aren’t thinking about when you’re writing! I forget, almost every day, that people read my blog besides the few who comment.
Do you have a blog, and if so what is your blog url? Yes, kimhastheruns.com
How long have you been blogging? Since July 2005
Why did you start a blog? Because I was going to be living in Italy in Spring 2006 and wanted to document my adventures
Do people in your offline life read your blog? Yes
Do you tell people you have a blog? Yes
Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world? All the time – all of my friends except a few are from my blog or Instagram
What do you like best about blogging? Having a space to speak my mind and document my life
It’s funny to me that people are still like “wow!” and “how?!” about meeting friends online via written word. I mean, people meet their spouses online! LOL. No offense to those people at all, it’s just funny since it’s so normal to us that we think it would be normal to everyone, and it’s just not.
I’ve been blogging a long time and have seen a lot of people come and go but many have become life long friends. I started an art account on Insta during the pandemic and have made a slew of friends all over the world there, many whom I’ve met and consider my closest friends now! I love that we can connect like this! How lucky we all are!
It seems like I’m in the vast minority, not having a blog of my own, but I’m super excited to have a bunch of new ones to check out!
Approximately how many blogs do you read? Right now, 6 consistently, down from 50+ in the heyday
Do you comment on all the blogs you read? Yes, although some more than others. Two I only comment on if I have a specific response to a specific question, the other four I’ll comment if I have anything vaguely tangentially related to say, since they feel more like conversations with a friend/community.
Why do you seek out blogs (vs or in addition to other, more formal sources)? I’m an introvert and shy with it. Like you, I do much much better with the written word than trying to express my thoughts in the moment, on the fly. I love getting to know people (caveat, getting to know their online persona, which I’m aware is different than getting to know *them*) and learning about their lives, and I love that blogging covers both the extraordinary and the mundane, since both fascinate me equally.
Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world? I don’t think so?
Would you ever consider writing your own blog? I’ve considered it, or if not a blog, at least a journal in a forum that I’m very active in. It’s a hard thing to start though, to poke my head into an already active area and say ‘hey, do you want to make room for me?’. And even though I know I’d be welcomed, there is still the self-conscious part of me that wonders if I even have anything to say worth sharing (despite the fact that I never think that about anyone else’s posts, no matter how ordinary the subject)
If you at one time had a blog (especially one I loved reading), what made you stop posting and how do I persuade you to start blogging again? N/A
I am a little late to the game but this was such a great post! Nice resource, too since there are all the blog links. So here we go:
Do you have a blog, and if so what is your blog url?
I guess I do, but I don’t really post regularly other then during NaBLoPoMo. The url is https://homehereandthere.wordpress.com
How long have you been blogging?
I had a private website with a login when we first moved to the US in 2005 to stay in touch with family and friends. I posted a lot of pictures and things we did and just did not want that to be out in the open for everyone to see. As time went by and the kids came along I just did not have so much time anymore and stopped. At some point I signed up for WordPress in 2016 but quickly ran out of steam until I did NaBloPoMo last year. So you could say I am still kind of new to this.
Why did you start a blog?
I liked reading other people’s blogs and like to share. I used to like writing and wanted to figure out if I would still like it.
Do people in your offline life read your blog?
I don’t really know. I have the link on my Instagram so they could but I just don’t know.
Do you tell people you have a blog?
I may mention it if the topic comes up but not just to say it.
Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world?
I ran into San last summer. I knew that she has a friend in town so it was not a complete surprise.
What do you like best about blogging?
The community and the exchange. So far it was only really positive and this is so different from what you sometimes see on Facebook for example.
I have a lot of catching up to do with this comment section! Here are mine:
1. Do you have a blog, and if so what is your blog url?
I do: https://knit-read-cats-hockey.blogspot.com/
2. How long have you been blogging?
Since 2006, I think.
3. Why did you start a blog?
Everyone else was doing it? Mostly knitters, in my experience/exposure at that point, but I started branching out in what I read before long.
4. Do people in your offline life read your blog?
Some do. My mother read it until I moved in with her. Several of my closest friends read it some of the time–not everyday, I think, but they check in now and again.
5. Do you tell people you have a blog?
Yes, if it comes up, but I don’t try to talk anyone into reading it. Blogs aren’t for everyone, and that’s fine.
6. Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world?
Yes! Actually one of my very closest friends and I met through blogging, and although she no longer blogs, we are super-close IRL friends. I have also met a few blogger-friends in that “I don’t think I’m about to die as I go meet this person for the first time” way that non-blog-people seem so confused by.
7. What do you like best about blogging?
I get a lot out of it myself: working through my thoughts by writing about them, venting about things that are bothering me in hopes I can then let them go, and the ever-helpful resource of when did I do that thing? I am always surprised to find I didn’t write about something.
Then there’s the community, all these people who read what I write about and get it, who write about things that have me nodding and quoting them back to themselves in comments. Who I feel like I know through the electrons. It’s pretty special.
Do you have a blog, and if so what is your blog url?
I’ve had a few over the years but my most recent (and forever one) is https://bridiebeethoughtful.wordpress.com/
How long have you been blogging?
On and off for about 6 years! At first personal blogging, then more niche topics such as journaling, and now I have decided to blog as part of my career! Fingers crossed it takes off one day but who knows.
Why did you start a blog?
I’m a trained counsellor, but due to various health conditions this year I haven’t been able to spend as much time with clients as I had wanted to. Instead I turned to online content creation! It’s early days but I hope that one day I’ll be able to reach more people and help them, even if it isn’t the way I had originally planned to.
Do people in your offline life read your blog?
Some of them! Always makes me squirm a bit actually HAHA but my close friends know about it and share it with their own friends.
Do you tell people you have a blog?
Some people. My family don’t have a clue I wouldn’t have thought but I share it with others.
Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world?
Yes! One of my closest friend is someone I “met” when we blogged on the same platform and we try to visit each other at least once a year.
What do you like best about blogging?
The freedom of it I think is what I love. Yes, having a niche helps you to grow an audience but no one is there to stop you if you want to share something new and exciting which I love. Plus it has given me a way to share my training and opinions with people I would never have been able to connect with otherwise.
Do you have a blog, and if so what is your blog url? Yup: https://thesomethinggarden.com/
How long have you been blogging? Gosh… something like 10 years now.
Why did you start a blog? I wanted something that made me right more. Thought pieces used to be my forte but now it feels much more sharing of minutia. Hope that the small things being the big things really is true!
Do people in your offline life read your blog? Yes, my aunts, my cousin, a friend who also blogs… and my husband when I make him.
Do you tell people you have a blog?
Sometimes but it perpetually awkward.
Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world? No, not ones I didn’t know before I met them.
What do you like best about blogging? I like being funny, and I like writing and it gives me the opportunity to do both.
And we’re totally and completely actual friends- like, not even up for discussion.
I know I’m late to comment on this, and to read all the other comments, but it’s such a sweet community you’ve built here and I want to be part of it. 🙂
Do you have a blog, and if so what is your blog url? Yes, my URL is helloself.blogspot.com, and it’s been private for several years.
How long have you been blogging? Nearly 20 years, omg.
Why did you start a blog? I actually wanted to work on my writing skills for work; was hoping to transition to WFH by being a copywriter for my job at the time. That never worked out, but I did find I really enjoyed the bloggers I was connected with.
Do people in your offline life read your blog? My husband and my mom, and one dear friend/former coworker.
Do you tell people you have a blog? No, and as I said, I went private a few years back — BUT, if anyone here would like access, just ask!
Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world? No; but I’ve met an online friend from pre-blogs (WebMD message boards, ha!) and that was so fun!
What do you like best about blogging? I’ve always kept a diary/journal; this is just the most convenient way to do it in this day and age. I like looking back at what I was doing years ago (despite the cringe-factor). I like to get my thoughts out of my head. And I do like when I learn from others, and feel like they’re friends! 🙂
Ooh, these are fun questions to answer!
Do you have a blog, and if so what is your blog url? Yes! StephanyWrites.com
How long have you been blogging? Since 2011!
Why did you start a blog? I always loved writing and wanted a space to write about my life. Plus, I started blogging during the 20-something bloggers revolution so had built-in community through that.
Do people in your offline life read your blog? Yes. I have it listed in my Instagram bio, but I don’t know how many people actually read it regularly, other than my mom.
Do you tell people you have a blog? No. It’s not something I talk about much IRL.
Have you ever met a blogger in the offline world? Yes, I have! Lisa and I have met up a few times, and I was able to get dinner with Kim when I was in Chicago in 2021. And some other bloggers!
What do you like best about blogging? The community! I love being able to connect with other people. It helps me feel a lot less alone.
I think I had part of this come through. I am not going to waste your time with a long comment because I am so late to the party, but I just wrote about communities and how much I value this blogging community. ❤
[…] has been a lot of discussion (like here and here) during NaBloPoMo about what blogging means to us – why do we do it, how many people […]
[…] is about something different for me now, than the connection is used to provide. Suzanne asked, earlier in the month, about what blogging friendships have meant to those of us who write this way on the internet and I […]
I think I missed seeing this when you first posted it. You mentioned your reasons and feelings about blogging and I’m telling you, I feel the same way. No one knew I had started a blog until one of my daughters stumbled across a cake that looked familiar, and when she clicked on it, it took her to my blog. I don’t know why I kept it secret from them all, I guess because it was just for me and all mine. I also didn’t want them laughing at me, I suppose. She didn’t, but she did mention it to the other kids, but I know they don’t read it or follow it. They actually haven’t really mentioned it since then. I also like the sense of community and that is what I was hoping to build up. I had been a part of a few cooking groups back when forums were really, really popular. But I had a hard time making connections with people and I felt constrained on what I could talk about. I never thought I would blog though, I wasn’t sure why anyone would want to frankly. But in 2012 I decided to exit all forums and try blogging for myself. I’ve had some ups and downs but this November and doing NaBloPoMo really got me excited about getting into my blogging again. So many new people who can potentially become friends. I’m pretty introverted so meeting on-line first and establishing a relationship is perfect for me.