Today I am thinking about Jenny, who is running her first ultra. The training alone is a massive accomplishment. She’s made it all this way and I hope she is feeling strong and confident and capable as she runs.
I used to run – not that I ever counted myself as A Runner. I ran simply because I enjoyed it, but eventually had to stop due to persistent knee pain. I feel incredibly lucky that my body allowed me to run for so long, and that I am still able to do so much. I recognize my physical abilities as the gifts that they are. But I do miss it.
I still remember the feeling that running gave me. That feeling of strength. Of connection to the physical realm: my body, the pavement beneath my soles, the air and sun on my skin.
It was a wonderful sensation, but one that is dwarfed by the feeling I get when I ski.
Skiing is, on the face of it, an insane thing to do. You allow a pulley to transport you, via a rickety bench, thousands of feet up a mountain, strap narrow planks to your feet, point yourself down a steep, tree-lined expanse of snow, and try not to fall or crash into anything before you reach the bottom. I would love to meet the person who came up with this idea and ask them WHAT they were thinking.
It may be ridiculous, but I have been downhill skiing since before I was two. It’s not something I do as often as I like, but it’s one of my favorite activities. I’m not an expert skier by any means, but I’m good at it. And I would say that it’s one of a very few things that makes me feel purely, triumphantly good.
My family and I went skiing over spring break a few weeks ago and it was some of the best skiing I’ve experienced in years. Maybe, partly, because my feet are doing better and I’ve been able to exercise again, so my body felt fit and strong. Maybe because the snow was perfect and the weather was excellent. Maybe because I am a good skier, and it feels so satisfying to be engaged in something I’m good at.
Like I said, I’m not an expert. I definitely prefer groomed blues and blacks, with the occasional mogul field thrown in. I get crabby if the snow is too wet or too icy, or if the weather is too hot or too snowy. I’m not jumping out of a helicopter onto a mountain peak or doing double black diamond trails through the woods. But I feel certain that I could get down pretty much any run, if I had to.
I am not “sporty.” I am not graceful or lithe. But on skis, especially when the snow is that ideal texture of dry powder on packed snow, I feel athletic and agile, capable and confident.
And the exhilaration of soaring down a fresh white mountain face, clouds and sky peeking over your shoulder, the valley laid out below you like a gift…
The hypnotic, automatic rhythm of your turns – gravity pulling, your legs resisting just the tiniest bit – your blood pumping steady, strong, your trajectory masked by plumes of your own snowfall…
The scrape of ski blade on snow crust, the bite of winter against your face, your breath darting away from you, unable to keep up…
There’s nothing like it. Nothing in the whole wide world.
Do you have something that gives you that feeling? A feeling of confidence and competence? A feeling that fills you with pride and elation? A feeling that you are doing a thing the way it is supposed to be done?
Maybe you feel this way when you give a presentation at work… Or when you’re writing or painting… When you’re baking a cake… Or singing in the shower… Or soothing a friend… I just want to know what makes you feel like you are in your element.
This is so beautifully written. I am a long-time runner but had to give up marathons a few years back (I did 19) due to worsening asthma. I made the difficult decision to lessen my exposure to pollution and cut out longer runs Now it’s 5-12 km at most. It is definitely when I’m “in my element”. Also when I was very active in my business I used to speak at events and LOVED it. I would truly get into a flow. Unlike you, if I’m entertaining 20+ people in my home I am also in my element. I have only skied a dozen times, but the way you describe it is just beautiful. It does sound like you are a very good skier! And thanks for introducing me to Jenny’s blog!
Wow, Pat! 19 marathons! That’s amazing! I have seen speakers who so clearly seem to be ON that I bet it is a magical feeling when you have it. Speaking terrifies me so much that I could never imagine feeling that way, but it makes me so happy that it is your element!
Your description of this is EXACTLY how I feel about skiing! I definitely have things that I think I am okay at or good at or feel good after I am done, but skiing is such a thrill! I love the feeling of living on the edge but being in control. I have to admit, I don’t love it as much if it is blustering snow and the pellets are hitting your cheeks hard, or if it is really icy, but it is just so fun!
I do not ski as much as I used to; I probably only go once per year if I am lucky, but I went a couple of weeks ago and I recorded my day with my watch and we got in almost 30 runs and my top speed (supposedly) was over 70 mph. I don’t know if that is totally correct or if it was only for one second, but I love going fast and just tucking my way down the hill. It is so, SO fun!
Woot woot! Fellow skier in the house!!! And omg – 70 mph!!!! Wow! You are a speed demon!
I’m very excited for Jenny’s race! I definitely had a “thing” with running for several years, but then something changed and it just got hard and not fun and I finally gave up on it last year.
I’ve never been skiing and honestly I’m terrified to try. Probably the closest thing that I have to an “element” right now is my weekend exploring. Last weekend I really loved getting out to the nature preserve with my bike and taking pictures of birds, and this weekend I’m on another FLW bender!
Your weekend explorations are so inspiring! I love how much enjoyment you get out of them!
Just enjoyed the exhilaration of your writing here so much.
“The hypnotic, automatic rhythm of your turns – gravity pulling, your legs resisting just the tiniest bit – your blood pumping steady, strong, your trajectory masked by plumes of your own snowfall…
The scrape of ski blade on snow crust, the bite of winter against your face, your breath darting away from you, unable to keep up…”
Wow. I love hiking and biking and all that, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt his way about it. The closest I’ve come to this sort of incandescence is in the throes of a good argument. Ha.
Aww, thanks, Maya! I LOVE your example. I am terrible at arguing and terrible with confrontation, but I bet being good at both is SO satisfying!
I love your description of skiing!! It’s so beautifully written! I do NOT feel this way about skiing. I didn’t try skiing until I was 21. I think it’s something you need to learn early in life unless you are naturally athletic. I tried it when I was working for 6 weeks in Colorado before studying abroad in Australia. The skiing conditions were excellent but I had too much of a fear of dying to enjoy it. lol. My heart is actually racing a bit just thinking about it!!
When I am in great condition, I feel like you described when running. But I haven’t really felt like that since pre-kids. I do love running though and sort of felt that way during my 10k last fall. Other times I feel like that is at work when I am doing really well on a client call. I have not felt like that in the last 6 weeks, though, as my calls are generally with people who are NOT HAPPY with the performance of our products due to the banking crisis… so I don’t get that ‘I’m killing this’ feeling when the person is upset. 😦
Ha – yes, fear of dying definitely inhibits fun!
I love that you feel this way at work! That must be so incredibly satisfying. Especially, maybe, when there are times like recently that you can compare it to. Although I bet you are “killing it” in a different way, by allowing them to express their frustration, and by addressing their concerns and fears. But the mood could totally put a damper on any feeling of being in your element.
I loved reading this so much. What a great description! Would you believe that I’ve lived my whole life beside the Rockies and I have never downhill skiied? I do love cross-country skiing but I haven’t done it in a long time. I loved the feeling of just gliding in the cold, and it would be silent and crisp.
It’s not a feeling of competence or confidence, per se, but when I’m on my yoga mat, I just get this feeling of calm. Sometimes it’s really blissful. Then when I’m teaching I DO feel very competent and confident, because I think I’m very good at reading a room and figuring out variations of postures that suit people. I think my strongest attribute as a teacher is making people feel like they are welcome and that they belong here, no matter what their body feels like or what their physical abilities are. When I get a new student and that clicks, it feels great.
I love that description Nicole — that sounds amazing. And I can totally see how finding that great connection with a student would give you such a satisfying feeling as well.
I love this description of skiing! I’ve been skiing a few times but definitely don’t really know what I’m doing, although I really enjoy going fast downhill. Which probably makes me a terrible skier. I think I felt that way a bit when running on certain runs when I was fitter, but rarely.
For me though, my sport is mountain biking. When I understand what the bike is doing and what I am doing and when I can turn with the tilt of a head or and adjustment of pedals… it’s awesome. And on the rare times I actually get air on a jump – I love it. I wish i had more time to bike and get better, but your description of skiing is so inspiring to me.
Also, so impressed that you have skied since you were two!
I feel like mountain biking probably has an element of danger to it that amps up the adrenaline even more, too! Love that you enjoy it so much!
This was lovely to read on my Saturday morning chore break! I’m writing a tangential post about skiing for next week, so I loved the timing of this.
I agree with Lisa: skiing (and most athletic pursuits) are best learned at a young age. I am NOT a good skier, but it is exhilarating. I really wish I had mastered the skill when younger, so I could appreciate the same feelings you get flying down the slope. That said, it’s still fun – even if at this point I’m mostly focused on just surviving the day – haha. I hope to take some adult lessons next year to boost my confidence and establish some better techniques.
This is going to sound boring, but I think I get into a similar flow best when I’m either writing or organizing. While I do run (seasonally; April – November), I rarely get a “runner’s high”.
Not boring at all!!! I have definitely felt that “in flow” feeling while writing, and it is every bit as exhilarating as flying down a mountain. It is punctuated by such crushing lows, though, LOL that I don’t encounter with skiing. I love that you also feel that feeling while organizing! I wish I had that kind of experience — it would motivate me to organize more!
I loved skiing while I was in college–but now I’m not a fan of the cold, the expense or the possibility of breaking something. There was such exhilaration in gliding down the mountain and making great turns, when that happened. I was never much of a mogul skier so any time I encountered them, it was literally and figuratively a bumpy ride. I ran every day for about 40 years, then life got in the way (elderly parents, daughters living with me) and now it’s very hard to get back to.
Wow, 40 years Margaret! That’s amazing! I enjoy moguls but I have never mastered them — it’s always hard work. I never feel like I get the rhythm that the professionals do. 😂
Love this, even though I can’t really relate. I tried running when the kids were little, but my feet have been screwed up my whole life, and I tried for way longer than I should have and my right knee still clicks unsettlingly when I go up the stairs. I did love the sensation of going fast, and it made me remember when I was young and could run really fast and felt like I was flying, when these days I usually feel so heavy.
My family was huge into cross country skiing the whole time I lived at home, and that gave me the feeling you’re describing, the wind, the cold (which I love), the speed. I tried downhill skiing once with my boyfriend, and I could not adapt – I fell, I couldn’t get up, I went for a terrifyingly long time backwards down a hill, at the last hill I went down screamingly fast and threw myself to the ground, and spent the rest of the day in the lodge. Now I’d be too afraid of hurting myself.
Okay, that all sounds a little depressing, but I’ve been doing yoga regularly, and as much as I laugh constantly at my inflexibility and how bad I am at some things, I always feel euphorically at ease in and connected to my body when I get up and walk around afterward. After the issues I’ve had the past few years, I’ll take it.
I wish I felt that way about yoga! That sounds wonderful! (And yikes, I wouldn’t have skied again after your experience!)
This was such a lovely piece of writing. I could really feel your confidence and enjoyment while on the snow.
I guess I just don’t feel that confident about…anything? I used to get a buzz in front of a classroom, but the more I learned about pedagogy, the more I questioned what I was doing and that buzz disappeared. I certainly don’t get that feeling with any physical endeavor! I’m jealous of you!
Thanks so much! I can totally see how teaching would give a really good instructor, with a great grasp of her subject matter, that flow feeling. I bet you are a spectacular teacher, and I’m sad that you ended up questioning yourself.
Oh, thank you Suzanne! I literally got tears in my eyes when I was reading the comments on my post today. So much love and support from this blogging community… I’m
really, really touched.
Now, about skiing. The funny thing is, I’ve never skied and I probably never will! Neither of my parents were into it, so we never did it growing up. Now if you offered me a ski trip, I would be afraid I would fall and break my leg. I agree with some of the other commenters that it’s something you should learn at a young age (although maybe that’s a copout, and I’m just a scaredy cat!) Your description definitely makes it enticing though. I can see why people love it.
I love this topic, and I was interested to see what other people had to say. Public speaking, weekend exploring, arguing (ha, that was a good one) yoga… it’s important to have SOMETHING that fills you with pride and elation. I think it can also carry over into the rest of your life- “If I did that hard thing, I can do this.” I’m thinking that writing is something that also gets you into that flow state, am I right? Not the same way that skiing does, but in its own way.
Knowing how that “in your element” state feels for me, I just fill up with such happiness when I read about what makes other people the same! I am hoping you had some of that flow feel when you were kicking butt at your ultra! (Yes, to writing. The hours melt away when I am really into something I’m writing. It’s astonishing and addictive.)
I am NOT a good skier and yet I totally know what you are saying here! I also love that skiing is something that feels amazing even if you’re mediocre at it, haha. Love long long greens and only the ‘easy’ blues, lol. My favorite part is that you really can’t be distracted while you’re doing it, so it’s like automatic flow state.
YES, so true. If I think about anything else, or honestly if I think too hard about the mechanism, I will definitely catch a ski LOL.
This is so beatifully written, Suzanne! I love it! I can feel your joy, your exhiliration, your concentration on your runs! We used to skii so many years ago — and I remember how it felt going down the slopes and feeling steady and navigating people/stumps/trees successfully; the feel and sound of the skiis on good snow. But as I said — those were many, many years ago…and when we went 3 years ago, I was so tempted to join my son but I was afraid I’d break a bone or something. LOL Thanks for taking me along on the ride!
Thanks, M! 🙂
Wow, Suzanne – this is beautifully written! And what a thought provoking topic. I had to really ponder about when/where I feel in my element. And it’s hard to say since I feel out of my element most of the time!
I’m very good at my job – but that doesn’t give me the feeling you described about skiing. Although, it does fill me with satisfaction, at times (when it’s not making crazy; which it often does). I’m going to have to think on this some more because I feel sure that we all have something that gives us that feeling.
I feel out of my element a lot of the time, too, Gigi! And yes, I am sure you have something — come back and share when it occurs to you.
I swim weekly and walk daily and enjoy both, but neither of those gives me the feeling you’re describing. Where I feel most in my element, if we just take that to mean at home and at peace, it’s the beach. Any beach, any season, any weather.
Oh, yes, I love this! Being in your element totally encompasses feeling at home and at peace.
Your writing is so evocative and made me feel like I know what it’s like to ski, even though my only experiences on the slopes have been on a snowboard years ago and involved lots of falling and tentatively getting myself going again. But I can completely relate to that sense of flow. For me, I feel it specific times when running — on one of the trails by myself when the running seems effortless (definitely not always the case) and there’s a cool breeze and my music is on point, and almost always during races (I’m SLOOOOW but the inspiration I get from the other runners and the spectators is incredible; I especially love races where the route takes us through downtown city streets where it would normally be impossible to run and I get to experience the city a whole new way).
I don’t play much anymore, but I also experience that same sensation playing certain pieces on the piano or viola, or when singing in a choir.
And I never thought about it in this way until reading your post, but at work this sometimes happens when I’m explaining some medical diagnosis or test results to a patient and I can tell that it’s clicking for them, and we move forward into shared decision-making regarding the next steps and you can just sense that they understand and that we truly are collaborating on their medical care. I just love it!
YES, playing the piano or singing in the choir! I used to be in a church choir in an enormous stone church, and sometimes we would hit the notes just perfectly and this ringing tone would envelop us and it was MAGIC.
I’ve never skied, but you’re writing made it sound just so magical. Thank you for sharing.
I’ve also never been a runner; I’ve tried, but this girl just wan’t built for speed. I can walk really fast though, but that’s the extent of my athleticism. Although…I did do a cartwheel last weekend and my shoulder only hurt for four minutes afterwards, so I call that a win.
I feel most in my element when I’m in my gardens; pulling weeds, smooshing bugs that shouldn’t be around, transporting lovely caterpillars to where they have a plentiful food source, trimming things, planting new butterfly plants, etc…I believe It’s where I excel.
That sounds so heavenly, Suz. I love your description of being in your element in the garden!
I love this. 🖤
Thank you so much!
Love this. I am with Maya– giving an excellent speech makes me feel like this, but nothing physical LOL
Oh how I hate skiing. I guess it’s because I never really learned. I found myself on top of an Alp in college while studying abroad. I essentially fell down the mountain and never tried again. My knees swelled up like grapefruit. Pat, my brother, couldn’t believe I’d never skiied. I guess I was babysitting or working in my teen years every time my dad took the kids to ski. Just call me Cinderella.
I do run, and I love how I feel when I’m done running. *let’s use the term running loosely here, since I’m VERY slow.* I think the thing that gives me that feeling you’re speaking of is creating something. I love making videos for my kids’ high school gradutation – they make everyone laugh. I love the college collage flags I made for Mini and her friends. I used to love creating Halloween cosutmes. Creating is my jam, I guess. I never really thought of it though. Thanks for asking.
Love to read about everyone’s talents and skills. Skiing is a newer hobby for me. I’m trying to re-learn it as a 40-something, after not skiing since high school. Its so fun to find that perfect run.
I’d call myself a good observer. Particularly I love to observe nature while hiking, running trails, or sitting in my backyard. I keep an eye out for the pileated woodpeckers that hang out in the wooded area behind my house. Taking in the frog calls in the spring or photographing wildflowers brings me great joy. I forget about time in these moments.
This was beautifully written, Suzanne! I felt like I was right there on the slopes with you. I’ve only skiied once in my life, and I’ve been dying to go back ever since.
I think I feel most myself when I’m working with my team at work (I love being a people manager and helping my direct reports get the support they need!) and when I’m recording my podcast with Bri. I never imagined I would love podcasting as much as I do!
Suzanne, you have captured this so beautifully. I used to run, and ski, among other activities. I miss them both terribly. Thank you for putting into words what I cannot. ❤
Any day: TEACHING. Being with young people, doing stuff with them, looking into their eyes, making jokes, or teaching them hard things. Hard truths such as “we do work because it’s work, not because it’s fun”, “we take pride in what we do”, “we work with agency”. By this time in the school year they repeat it to their peers- I guess I drilled it into them! Also, sharing a piece of me with them, every day. Loving them (even when they are winey/needy/don’t do their work). Being their mother when they are in my class.
Suzanne! I didn’t know you skied! I learned skiing when I was three myself and went skiing in the Alpes every year with my family when I grew up. I can absolutely and totally relate to your feelings about skiing… and how wonderful that you got to go on a skiing trip with your family! I am so happy for you.
(My parents, sister + family, and cousin + girlfriend are planning a skiing trip in the Alpes again next spring and I am hell-bend on joining them!)