It’s so easy to be kind. To share a warm smile. To send a handwritten note. To give a compliment or a gift or a helping hand.
And oh! what a lasting impression just a small comment or gesture or act of kindness can leave!
* * *
I was in the grocery store a few weeks back, wearing my beloved grey belted wool coat.
I’d just placed a package of bean sprouts in my basket and was looking longingly over the display of artichokes. That’s when I felt a hand on my waist.
“This is such a lovely coat,” came a sandpapery voice from behind me. “But the belt is twisted.”
I looked over my shoulder at an older woman – late seventies, grandmotherly – as she gently untwisted the belt so it lay flat on my back.
“There,” she said, smiling up at me as she patted me on the arm. Her dark eyes sparkled as she shuffled off among the oranges.
That small gesture made me warm through and through.
I don’t know why it affected me so much. Perhaps it reminded me of being a child and having my mother smooth my hair or straighten my shirt. Perhaps it was just being touched in a small, gentle way. Perhaps it was that she went out of her way to make my life a little less messy – with no hassle and no expectation of remuneration.
* * *
A year or so ago, I read somewhere about people doing random acts of kindness. (I think it was on Jen’s blog? Jen? Am I hallucinating?)
Jen would buy Target gift cards (this sounds like the kind of thing Jen would do, so I’m going to leave it) or the like and leave them on random cars.
I did this exactly once – put $10 on a gift card rather than buying a $10 tube of mascara – and left it on the windshield of a car.
Who knows what the recipient thought? Maybe s/he thought it was stupid. Maybe s/he thought it was a delightful surprise. (My husband thought I was a weirdo.) Maybe s/he didn’t see the envelope under the wiper and it flew off into a ditch somewhere.
But I don’t even care.
It made me feel SO GOOD.
Why oh why don’t I do it more often?
* * *
Compliments are nice, too.
When I last saw my hairdresser – in early December – I asked her a serious question:
“Is my hair too long?”
Yes, I love my hair long. My husband loves it long. But I know that sometimes long hair can look lank and stringy.
She tilted her head and regarded me closely.
“No. I think tall, thin people like you can pull it off,” she said. “And anyway, we’ll give you layers to add movement.”
Me, a tall, thin person?
It made me glow all the way home.
Later, in early January, I was once again at the grocery store.
I was getting fish for dinner. The sweet woman behind the counter said, “Wow, your lashes are so long! Are they real?”
I was surprised and delighted. My lashes are stubby and nearly invisible, so I am a mascara fanatic. It’s the one makeup item I never leave home without.
(“What did you tell her?” my husband asked. “That they’re real!” I said. “Well, did you tell her about all the mascara you’re wearing?” “Mascara doesn’t make my lashes less real!”)
* * *
A few years ago, my husband and I were in my hometown visiting my parents.
It gets bitterly cold there in winter. The day in question, the temperature was hovering around seventeen below zero.
We were stopped at a stoplight when we saw a young man coming down the hill across the street.
He was walking. It was clear from his gait that he was drunk or otherwise impaired. And he wasn’t wearing a stitch of clothing above the waist.
The light changed and a pickup a few cars in front of us pulled up next to the young man.
The driver took off his own coat and handed it out the window to the shirtless guy.
* * *
Last year, I was having a tough time.
Who knows why.
But one day, when my husband collected the mail, he tossed an envelope my way. It was from an unfamiliar address.
Inside was a sheet of stickers – glittery cats – and a recipe for gourmet macaroni and cheese.
Turns out it was from Daisy.
She’d gotten the glitter cat stickers as a random act of kindness from her husband’s coworkers. And then she passed them on to me.
I still have them.
I take them out and look at them and they make me smile every time.
And while I haven’t made the mac and cheese yet, I drool over the recipe every so often. (Mac and cheese is fattening. But drooling over mac and cheese burns calories.)
* * *
One of Swistle’s New Year’s resolutions this year was to act more often on generous impulses.
I loved that resolution. All too often, I think, “Oh, so-and-so would like this!” and then, at the last minute, I chicken out and never let that person know I was thinking of him or her.
Now, I know it’s impractical to buy things all the time. That could get just plain expensive. But when I’m ordering a little something on Amazon and I see something that I feel like so-and-so could use, I’m trying to be better about ordering it without a second thought. Without worrying that the recipient won’t like it… Or that s/he will feel obligated to return the favor… Or that it will come across as stupid or weird…
And I’m trying to be better about just being kind in general. Smiling brightly and saying hello to people when I come across them, rather than averting my eyes and scuttling past. Asking people if they need help, when before I would fret over whether I’d be intruding. Giving compliments – even to strangers.
I don’t do it every time. I don’t do it enough. But I do it more, and I think that counts for something.
* * *
The delivery guy gave a sharp rap on the door and then disappeared down the hallway, leaving two packages against the wall.
One, I was eagerly anticipating: a birthday gift from my parents that my mother had said was on the way. (I didn’t know what the gift was, just that it was coming. Turns out it was chocolates from the very chocolate boutique that provided chocolates for my wedding. They are amazingly delicious. You will not be surprised to learn that they have already been thoroughly plundered.)
And the other was a fabulous surprise: a tall box of flowers! Inside was a beautiful bouquet of irises and lilies from a girl who’s gone from blogger-I-admire to real-life friend.
I’m not ashamed to say that I blubbered as I cut the cellophane off of the bouquet and sobbed as I filled the accompanying vase with water and wiped tears off my cheeks as I bit through a dark chocolate shell.
That’s what kindness can do.
Whether it’s from your loving parents… or a brand-new friend… or even a generous stranger…
It can knock you off your feet.
This totally warmed my heart. It was the perfect thing to read on a nasty, cold morning. The genuine kindness of the human heart can be amazing – I strive to be one of those gracious, kind people at all times (I’m a work in progress – but aren’t we all?).
Yes, I LOVE this kind of thing. I can get all weepy about it, because I think it’s so much more common to see random acts of unpleasantness: little traffic altercations, people leaving shopping carts in a parking space, people sighing impatiently in a checkout line.
I’m so glad the glitter cats make you smile (they made me smile)!! You are a fantastic writer.
Thanks for such an uplifting post.
Sometimes my mom will pay for the meal of the person behind her in the drive through line.
I’ve always wanted to slip a $5 or $10 bill into one of my favorite books at the library – a nice surprise for the next person to check out the book. This year I’m planning 30 for 30 in 30 – 30 little things to do within 30 days of my 30th birthday. The library book/money slip will be one of them.
You’re right, mascara doesn’t change the fact that your lashes are totally real.
Thanks for sharing all these wonderful moments, they are truly wonderful.
By the way, I am very much so loving the new blog background 🙂
This is such a sweet post. I’m going to try harder to be more outward with my kindness 🙂
Once I was in line at Starbucks. I had ordered my drink and snack and then realized I only had $1. The lady behind me paid for my breakfast. It was so sweet and totally made my week.
This made me so happy to read. So, so happy 🙂
Great post. I feel inspired to go out and do some kind things now! Thanks!
So, if your goal was to make me cry with this post…You succeeded! It’s been a while since I paid it forward. I think it’s time again. Thanks for the inspiration lady!
You just made me smile. What a fabulous post! A radio station in my town has been promoting this thing where you pay for the person behind you at the drive-thru and then call in to tell about it. It sounds like it’s spreading and it’s such a sweet idea. I can think of a tired, over-worked mom just trying to pull through the drive-thru and get her hyper kids home, only to find out that dinner’s been paid for by someone else.
I don’t think ANYONE would think it weird or inappropriate to have GIFTS (yay!) or kind sentiments sent to them, so rock on, lady! 🙂
Ok, I have to go do some act of kindness now.
Lovely 🙂
Love this post and love your ideas! I’m totally going to try the gift card on the windshield idea.
Hmm, a few times it was me, and that time you are describing sounds like the last one I did, for Lucy’s birthday last December. So yeah, that was probably me. But I am certainly not the one who came up with that or anything. 🙂
I think I need to do some more random kindness. It’s been a while.
Yay, what a sweet post. I always think how I should be a kinder and more thoughtful person. It’s time to just do it. I love the Target idea!
This post was so lovely – makes me want to be that person.
I love this kind of reflection – it is good to act on those desires to make others happy. On a whim, I sent my mom flowers on Valentine’s Day (her first without Dad) and she called me crying to say thank you.
This brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for writing something so inspiring and so true.
Saweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet! I LOVED this. Especially the old woman part. I REALLY liked that.
Your comment on my last post made my NIGHT. ha. Funny. I remembered once when a blogger did a poll on her blog and the question was: Would we be friends in real life? I think you totally answered that question.
I think we have the same blog theme.
Okay… I have to ask… since no one else has! What kind of mascara do you use??
Also- lovely post! Made me want to make the world a better place, little bit at a time….
aw I love the random acts of kindness