Jen posted the other day about her irrational fear of cruise ships.
I can fully understand this fear, because among the things that Other People Love That I Do NOT are cruises.
And believe me – ten thousand people have already tried to convince me that cruises Aren’t So Bad! Or are in fact Actually Really Fun. I am staying on dry land thank you.
Anyway, Jen invited her readers to share their own irrational fears, which got me thinking. First, I have a lot of fears. Second, I don’t think they are irrational. Third, hmm… maybe they ARE irrational. Fourth, dammit!
Here are some of my top fears, rational or not… (Don’t worry – I have left out the really scary ones.)
I am ir/rationally afraid that:
- I will fall off a cliff/stairway/tower/other high apparatus. This is totally rational, in my mind, because I have been known to trip over my own feet.
- A gang member will slice my Achilles tendon while I am trying to get into my car. This totally happened to the friend of my husband’s aunt’s friend and is So Not an Urban Legend.
- I will accidentally use someone else’s toothbrush. In fact I did, once, use my husband’s toothbrush by accident. And while neither of us died or anything, it was still completely horrifying.
- Someone else will accidentally use my toothbrush. This is why I keep my toothbrush in a plastic travel toothbrush holder in my makeup kit while traveling. Even if there is a handy-dandy toothbrush holder in the bathroom I’m using. Even if I am the only one using that bathroom.
- A random dog will attack me.
- My apartment will catch on fire. This is why I always wear my Good Jewelry and/or carry it around with my in my purse. It is a very good thing that I don’t have a whole lot of Good Jewelry.
- I will be unloading knives from the dishwasher and I will puncture my husband while walking from the dishwasher to the drawer. (Our kitchen is tiny.)
- Someone will throw up on me. If you start hacking up a lung at the dinner table, that concern on my face is only half for you. SORRY.
- A waiter/chef/disgruntled maitre’d will spit in my food.
- The comment I left on your blog – out of adoration! and in good humor! – will offend you and make you hate me.
What are your irrational fears?
I have a fear of cruises, too, so you’re not alone! And no worries, you’ve never left a comment on my page that has offended me 🙂
Thanks Alaina. 🙂
Totally get you with the irrational fears. My top few:
1. When I open any pull door, I am scared that someone else is going to be pushing it open from the other side at the exact moment I am reaching for the handle and that the door will smash into my fingers and break my hand.
2. Sea Creatures. All. of. them. Especially octopuses (octopi ??, what is the plural of octopus?).
2a. Going along with the sea creatures theme- If I’m sitting on a dock or boat with my feet in the water, I’m scared fish will come up and nibble on my toes.
3. You know mole holes in lawns? when I was 8, my brother told me snakes live in those holes. Even now, YEARS later, I am scared that a snake will pop out and bite my ankle when I walk past one of those holes.
Yes – snakes! At any possible moment! Even on a PLANE!
Oh my goodness, I totally share the Achilles tendon fear! I always check under my car before I get into it. Always! Glad to know I’m not alone 🙂
The knife/dishwasher one isn’t completely irrational. Had a friend who sliced her hand unloading knives, and because she was terrified of the ER and stitches, I pulled out steri strips to fix the deep cut. (Minimal scarring, I assure you.)
I’m getting married in a little over three weeks and moving three days after, so at this point all my fears are about trying to get our apartment ready and not be COMPLETELY stressed out on our wedding day.
Oh my – the marriage worries are THE WORST. But your day will go off without a hitch, I have faith!
Ohh I have the same fear about the knives. Whenever I unload the dishwasher and get to the silverware I’m always extremely cautious and if there is too much going on in the kitchen, I’ll just wait. Freaks me out. (I also worry that someone will bump into me and cause me to drop the knives, which will then all go sharp-tip-down-of-course to my feet) *shiver*
I also have an irrational fear that if I step on those metal-grate things on the sidewalks (you know, that lead down-down-DOOWN into the ground?) they will break and I’ll go down-down-DOOWN. So I ALWAYS avoid them. Yes, I may go completely out of the way, onto the street and risk my life that way, but I consider it much better than stepping it on those things. Also, if they are the ones that are blowing out hot air, then I tend to do everything possible to cross the street.
See? Irrational.
I am totally the same way about the grates. They are scary!!
Especially because a friend of mine FELL DOWN a MANHOLE. Seriously. WTF?!?!?!
I have an irrational fear that – and this is going to make me sound crazy – I will lose control of my mind and do something very reprehensible. In just one kind of superficial example, on my wedding day I had scissors to cut off a small thread from my wedding gown. I had this weird thought in the back of my head that was like, what if you just CUT THE WHOLE DAMN DRESS UP?!? MUA HA HA HA HA HA! And I was kinda scared my arm would just make the decision for me. Weird, right? A little creepy, even?
Hahahaha! Don’t worry – I have those thoughts too. 🙂
God, I have some weird ones.
1. That the oven door will snap closed while my arms are inside pulling out a cookie sheet, etc. and trap my arms in the fiery burning hot box leaving me without any appendages to re-open the oven door.
2. The edges of countertops. Specifically, that I will trip and smash my very expensive teeth (orthodontia, etc.) into them and wind up with a smile like someone in the backwoods with no dental care.
3. Cruises. Seriously? Have yall not seen Titanic??
4. That someone will break into my house in the middle of the night and kill my dogs. I don’t care about my crap being stolen or me being raped. I would die though if someone came in and killed my dogs. (Seriously, I am a lunatic).
5. Airplanes/flying. I’m not sure this one is so completely irrational though.
The countertop one I can totally empathize with! I am constantly worrying that I will trip over/run into something and blind myself.
How fun! I love lists like this. I COMPLETELY agree with numbers 2 and 10. I get hyper-paranoid, especially at night, when I get out to fill my car with gas, and I’ve checked under my car numerous times because of this.
And I have a tremendous fear of offending someone unintentionally- whether by blog comment, post, or speaking to a real live person. I always try to be super careful with my words, but I know things STILL don’t always come out right. My husband would testify that I annoyingly run through the situation/comment over and over in my head and out loud until I get some kind of confirmation from the person, or C, that I have not offended them in any way. It may be kind of a problem.
Other irrational fears?
– The ocean, though I will still get in it if I’m at the beach… but only far enough to dunk my head in, stand there for a minute, and then get out.
– Someone breaking into my house to rape me or doing something equally as terrifying while C is gone and having to use the gun in my nightstand and call the police. This one has kept me up at night. Probably a normal fear, but the degree to which I fear it is bordering on seriously irrational.
– Getting attacked by a coyote at my parent’s house
The ocean terrifies me. I have a (n irrational) fear that I will be swept out to see.
And yes, I am constantly afraid of break ins. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, Law & Order SVU.
That I will misspell something that is easy to spell and everyone will think I’m an idiot. I’ve actually sent out emails and realized I forgot to check for spelling errors and then worried the whole day that whoever I sent the email to will be mentally (or not so mentally) judging me.
Aww! Let me tell you a secret… MOST people misspell a crapload of stuff. Even CEOs and other high-ranking people. I doubt most people even notice if you do make a little typo – especially in an email.
I’ve been thrown up on. Twice. Gross.
Thanks job!! (little kids… all the time.)
I have an irrational fear that I didn’t lock the door. Or left the curling iron plugged in. Or the coffee pot on. It’s a daily struggle. One that usually makes me late for my first appointment of the day because I have to drive 5 min back home to double check.
D*mn OCD 😦
EW.
1. Dropping my irreplaceable keys into a drain. Someone I knew in high school did this once and it was…completely terrifying to me. This leads me to have multiple copies of every key stashed all over the place.
2. That my husband will die and my inlaws will take his body and not let me go to the funeral. I have this nightmare pretty regularly (I’m sneaking into the back of the church and someone comes and kicks me out). It started when we first got engaged and has not really let up. I even shared this story with my MIL and she was, understandably, horrified. My inlaws are wonderful people and this is completely irrational, but it’s still there.
I once threw my keys away in a McDonald’s garbage can. And this little germaphobe had to root around in other people’s half-eaten chicken McNuggets to find them.
DISGUSTING.
I have the exact same blog commenting fear! Plus, once, while traveling with my best friend Skye in Tunisia, I discovered I’d been using her toothbrush for days.
Mortifying, it was.
And I can’t even share my most irrational fear, because then the entire Internet would know just how crazy I am.
Don’t leave us hanging like that!!!!!
Let’s just say, it involves fingerprints.
There’s no need to elaborate further.
Though given my inability to keep any sort of secret, I probably will some day.
I have ridiculous fears about bad things happening to loved ones that I don’t want to talk about because I’m also very superstitious. Basically, it’s awesome to be me.
Have you read “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again” by David Foster Wallace? Highlarious. I have never been on a cruise and while I’d probably love the gluttonous late-night snack buffets, I don’t think I’d love the whole experience. Randomly enough, I dreamt last night I was on a cruise and I forgot to pack my running sneaks and I freaked out. Lame.
I fear that – trying to be efficient – I’ll turn on the garbage disposal while my hand was still stuffing crap down there or fishing out our silverware. And, well, my poor hand…
LOVE the post- makes me feel like I’m not um….alone in my crazy thoughts!
1-scared the elevator suspension will snap and I will plummet to my death
2-scared that I’d fall between the “cracks” in an earthquake into the lava (I don’t even know if that’s possible)
3-scared of heights. like FOR REAL.
and now I am sounding weird and whiny. PS- this list could totally go on and get a lot weirder!
Oh boy.
I am scared I’m going to fall off the sidewalk and get hit by a passing car (I fall/trip/walk into stuff a lot).
I’m scared the bridges I drive across will break and my car will go plummeting into the Fraser River.
I’m scared I’m going to stab myself with a needle at work and contract HIV or Hep C.
I’m scared T is going to hate my wedding dress and I’ll bawl like an idiot at the alter because he doesn’t think I’m pretty.
yep, I’ve got a lot of those crazy fears! 🙂
See, I don’t think your fears are irrational. You have good reasons!
You are too funny! I am absolutely paranoid EVERY SINGLE DAY that I’ve left my hair straightener and the iron on. Even if I double checked it was unplugged. I also sometimes wake myself up out of my sleep at night and have to get up to make sure I took my birth control pill. Hmm. What else? I have LOTS, but am drawing a blank!
Oh my gosh, I’m afraid of everyone in my class barfing and it happened once! One kid threw up on the floor, I sent him to the nurse. Then the kid behind him threw up on the floor, so I sent him to the nurse. Then everyone else felt sick and someone threw up in the trash can. So horrible! I even had one kid that would make himself throw up everyday just to get out of class.
I’m also scared of sharks so I don’t like to go out too deep in the ocean or swim underwater without being able to see. Once I was at a beach where the water gets deep fast and a shark swam by really close. Everyone ran out of the water screaming! My sister thought it was a dolphin, I had to pull her out and run! Hmm but maybe these are rational fears?
Ha, after I read this today, I “accidentily” used my husband’s toothbush! Uhh.
My biggest fear is leaving a straightening/curling iron/stove on and burning down our apartment.
2nd- Someone walking in on me while I am in a public restroom! I did that to someone a plane once and it was beyond mortifying!
I freaking hate clowns.
I just wrote about this too – and my fears are definitely irrational. I’m always worried my husband is going to die. It doesn’t matter what he’s doing or where we are. I just… yeah. That’s my biggest irrational fear.
I have a fear of constantly being kidnapped…I probably should seek therapy. But anytime I am alone outside and someone weird pops up in the vicinity my heart starts racing and I get all nervous. I don’t know how people run outside on their own with their ipods on- people can attack you from behind!!!!! *
*totally irrational.
Hmmmm… let me think of some of my irrational fears.
1. When my kids are walking around the house with a pen or pencil in their hand that they are going to trip and fall and it’s going to gouge their eyeball. I guess not super irrational but they are NOT allowed to walk with pens or pencils of ANY sort in their hands.
2. Something will happen to S and I won’t know. Mainly because I know his family is VERY close and I am not exactly 100% welcome in that business.
3. That I will die when driving on the highway. I swear this is how I am going to go – so EVERY time I go to travel to my parents I think my time is up.
4. Fire. Deathly afraid, having about a million smoke detectors in my house. Deathly. Afraid. Of. Fire.
awesome. 🙂 Mine are dinosaurs (as I stated in mine), but I love love your #2.
I bet #9 has already happened. Just sayin’. HA! I saw some SCARY things in my college years in the service industry!
Oooooooooooh!! Love this idea!! I’m totally doing a post about my irrational fears – thanks for the idea 🙂
Um, those might be irrational fears but I think I understand them!
You know how those long, thin, metal sticks hold items onto the shelves in a store? I’m always terrified that I’ll somehow trip and land eyeball-first into them. I TOTAllY have had this fear for some time, with some days being worse than others. I cope by just closing my eyes 😉
I have many of the same fears (including #3 ). In fact, I had the same experience with accidentally using my husband’s toothbrush and was also traumatized by it. I’ve never been on a cruise, only because I feel the same way you do about them. No thank you! 🙂
My only fear is seeing/running into a ghost or something supernatural. I am terrified of them, especially in my house.
I don’t like to think about my fears or read about other people’s because I have a fear that I will develop a new fear. Ah, okay, there’s one.
Oh you poor thing. Ugh. Been there. My fear is that there will be a fire if I go up to a high floor in a building.
Your comments always offend me, but I’ve made a vow to love you anyway…;) haha, just kidding. Irrational fear, um, I don’t know. That a butterfly will land on me and poop. Don’t laugh, I didn’t laugh at you. I’ve never been on a cruise, but I would like to try.
I’m with you on numbers one and two – for the longest time I did this little swing into my car so I didn’t leave one leg exposed. Whenever I straighten my hair, I’m scared that I’ll forget to unplug the iron, it will overheat, catch fire, and I’ll come home to rubble and firetrucks. I check that probably three times before I leave the house, just in case.