Posts Tagged ‘seriously it’s such a good book you should read it immediately’

We had zero days of sunshine in January. ZERO. But! It is only Day 7 of February and we have already had THREE WHOLE DAYS of sunshine! Glorious! (Note: It is currently Not Sunny, but I am holding on to those memories of sun with both fists.)

Let’s discuss a few other things I am loving, besides sunshine.

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Jalapeno Ranch Ruffles

Photo from target.com

Jalapeno Ranch Ruffles – I was having A Day recently, and after I put gas in my car, I popped into the convenience store to buy Diet Mountain Dew and the chip section just started calling to me. I haven’t had non-tortilla chips in a loooooonnnnggggg time. But which chips to get??? It has been well established on this here blogaroo that spicy things are my jam. My normal spicy-chip go-to is Miss Vickie’s Jalapeno Chips, but they have this annoying tendency of making me cough. Worse than that, they are very hard to find. Anyway, I spotted these Jalapeno Ranch Ruffles and they sounded yummy. It turns out they ARE yummy. Very yummy indeed. I wouldn’t call them spicy, exactly. But they have a great flavor and a nice little kick. A+, would crunch again.

Meadow hand soap

Photo from target.com

Smartly Hand Soap – Meadow Scent – This soap was a whopping 99 cents at Target recently, so I bought some to replace my expensive Method foam soap. (My husband and I, for no memorable reason, have decided that we need to wean ourselves off of foam soap. It’s expensive and the gel soap works just as well and there was possibly some other driving force behind this very important decision.) My problem is that I still like FUN soap, and gel soap is less fun. Enter the Smartly soap collection. The Meadow scent has a nice clean, grassy smell without being overpowering and I love it.

Plumping oil

Photo from beautycounter.com

Beautycounter Plumping Oil – I have been using the Beautycounter brightening oil for about a year, and still love it. But I tried this plumping oil in the past several months and LOVE it. It smells so good – I mean, it’s not smelly, per se. But it has a light, semi-citrusy scent that I really like. And it feels so soothing in these dry winter months. I do think my skin looks smoother than it has before. I still have crow’s feet though. Oh well.

Bomba no slip

Photo from bombas.com

Bombas No-Slip Socks – My husband and I had a $10 coupon for Dick’s Sporting Goods, so I thought it would be the perfect chance to buy a new sports bra. Turns out I could not find a sports bra I liked (this is going to be a difficult resolution aspiration to keep). But I saw these no-slip socks on an end-cap and bought them to wear during my barre classes. I LOVE them. They fit really snugly, even though I have narrow feet. The anti-slip dots cover the entire foot, so I’m not sliding during my warrior 2 pose and planks if I don’t have my foot positioned just so. And they are comfy.

Stone Cold Heart

Photo from amazon.com

Stone Cold Heart by Caz Frear – This book came out this past July and I bought it immediately. But I didn’t want to read it too fast, and have it be over. So I refrained from reading it until the very end of the year. It was WELL worth the wait. This is my kind of book – a detective novel with a relatable, complicated main character – and it was even better than the first in the series, which I thought was excellent. (And the first book, Sweet Little Lies, is only $7.49 right now!!!) I can’t wait for the third book, Shed No Tears, which should be out some time this year. Woo!

What are you loving lately?

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I just finished a book with which I fell so completely in love, I want to FORCE everyone to read it immediately.

Of course, in my intense desire to expose everyone to this perfectly wonderful book, I am fearful that maybe you won’t, in fact, like it. Which wouldn’t make me like you less, I promise; I know books of all things are highly subjective, and you might find the style irritating or disjointed or you might find the subject matter maudlin or disturbing.

But I still feel this strong, nay, irresistible urge to COMPEL you to read it, and then get all your friends and family members to read it as well.

Am I putting too much pressure on it? I’m putting too much pressure on it.

Eh, you may like it, you may not. Whatever.

Let me see if I can pinpoint, for myself, why I liked it so immensely. And maybe that will help you determine whether you think you might like it.

The book in question is “The Friend” by Sigrid Nunez.

the friend

Image from amazon.com

And, by the way, Sigrid Nunez is nearly 70 years old, which I find appealing as well. (You don’t necessarily hear a lot of buzz about older authors.) (Her protagonist in this book is also older; I envisioned the protagonist as a stand-in for Sigrid, although who knows.) She didn’t publish her first book until she was 44! She is a critically acclaimed author, and I am deeply embarrassed that I haven’t read her work until now. I feel an urgent need to read ALL her books now, in quick succession.

This particular book won the National Book Award in 2018, if that makes any difference to you.

Do I need to include a trigger warning here? Probably. The book deals, in large part, with suicide. So if that is a problematic topic for you, I sadly recommend against reading the book. (I can’t remember any specific, upsetting descriptions of the death, but I suppose I could have forgotten them.)

But its larger themes are more philosophical: Grief, and its forms. Love, and its actors, and its varying forms. Growing old, and what that means, and its inevitable conclusion. Writing, and what it means to be a writer, and the changing view of writing/writers. Those are the big ones.

More specifically, there is a woman whose mentor dies, and who – unexpectedly, without warning her or asking her – leaves her his dog. Not just any dog, but a giant Great Dane. (She lives in a tiny pets-free rent-controlled apartment in New York City.)

From the get-go, I was skeptical of the book. While I don’t dislike dogs, I certainly don’t love them. I didn’t want to read a book about a dog. I didn’t want to read a sad book about someone losing her friend. I opened it with great reluctance. I was soothed to find that the protagonist prefers cats to dogs as I do.

Also, the book is (sort of) epistolary. It’s written in the second person, directed at the mentor she’s lost to suicide. That’s unusual enough that it could be distracting or annoying or tiresome.

Some things I loved about the book:

  • The style is unlike anything I’ve read before. Some reviewers refer to it as “stream of consciousness,” which I get. But I sort of think of “stream of consciousness” as a semi-derogatory way to describe someone’s prose (I don’t know why). I think of it as a Joyce-ian, Molly-Bloom-ian type of style, with long voluminous paragraphs and few sentences and winding, difficult-to-untangle threads of thought. (Maybe that’s why I think of it as derogatory; I did NOT enjoy Ulysses.) This book is NOT like that. I thought of it more as reading someone’s diary: there are discrete paragraphs, often unrelated or related only in that way that thoughts link to one another in your brain. Sometimes it feels like you are reading her notes, as she researches a particular subject: Here she is, going through her research about (for example — may not actually appear in the book) student/professor affairs; there is a paragraph about an author who had a famously disastrous affair with a student; there is a summary of the changing cultural attitude toward student/teacher relationships; there is a literary quote about the lawlessness of the heart; there is a paragraph about university regulations around fraternizing with students; there is an anecdote from her personal life about someone she knew who had an affair with a student. I can see how this might sound unappealing; there is no singular narrative that flows from beginning to end. I mean, there is, but you get all these ebbs and flows as she interjects and retreats. But I found it wholly appealing – a very fresh and interesting way to approach telling a story. And she does it so deftly that I felt as though I was riding around in her brain with her. The little intuitive leaps made sense and even when she turned away completely from something, it felt… right, and understandable. Nothing ever felt disjointed or incoherent, each thought became simply a new tiny wave breaking on the shore and then melting back into the larger narrative sea.


  • The prose is so clean and well-written. She has a very spare writing style, nothing extraneous, every word chosen precisely and with reason. Which is not to say that there isn’t a great deal of beauty in her words – on the contrary, her writing is lovely and evocative. I found myself rereading some sentences many times, marveling at their clarity and simplicity.


  • The subject matter is so heavy, yet she treats it so lightly. No, that’s not right. Maybe, she treats it with such a light hand. She seems so comfortable with the inevitability of the subjects of aging and death and grief… and she writes around the topics with such depth and breadth… that the gravitas isn’t pulling you under with each new sentence.


  • Related: she has a great sense of humor. You’ll be talking about aging and then suddenly you’re talking about poop. But not in a jarring way. In a charming, amusing way. (Oh clod I am not doing this justice at all. I should just stop talking.) There’s this one point where she relates a conversation with a friend. The friend wonders if she’s ever considered finding a therapist; she thinks the friend is talking about a therapist for the dog; the friend is not. It’s gentle humor, but helps keep the book light.


  • The book is meticulously researched. As I was reading, I was certain that any subject she raises in the book has been thoroughly and comprehensively researched. She’s read all the literature related to suicide or dogs or whatever. She’s got all the relevant quotes. She’s dug into the pertinent scientific journals. She’s read related news articles. She’s combed through Wikipedia. You know this only because she pulls out the best tidbits to share – again, kind of like you might scrawl off a particularly juicy detail about, I don’t know, a work project, in your diary – and they are fascinating. But it is clear that they are the gems she plucked out and shined up, and that there are truckloads of dirt clods that she left behind. It’s impressive and, frankly, kind of awe-inspiring.


  • She handles the central relationships of the book with such care. Basically, you’ve got a woman and her dead mentor. And you’ve a got a woman and her dead mentor’s dog. And, really, you’ve got a woman coming to terms with herself without her dead friend. Each of these relationships is drawn with such tremendous compassion and thoughtfulness and grace (this seems like the wrong word, but I keep coming back to it) that I was wholly drawn in, wholly won over.


  • Lurking in the background is that this book is about a writer, writing. Writing figures into the overarching narrative as kind of a linking force and maybe even a personal imperative. The protagonist is a writer, her mentor is a writer; their writing brought them together, kept them together. And she’s figuring out how writing fits in to her grieving process.


Perhaps you should know, before you read it, that I finished reading, closed the book, and wept like a child. Great body-shaking sobs that I could not control or suppress. And yet I welcomed the tears, because they were so well-earned.

Have I managed to make it sound dull and off-putting? Possibly. Hopefully I have not done more harm than good in recommending it to you.

Well, I think you’d be best off just reading the book. I loved it. I wish I could read it again for the first time. I look forward to returning to it again. And then again. I am so very glad I read it.

If you read it, let me know, will you?

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