I had a whole post all planned out for today, but then I got a call from someone at Whole Foods.
“Hello, I’m from the Whole Foods holiday table,” he said.
“Hello,” I said, trying to keep any suspicion or panic out of my greeting.
“We understand you ordered a turkey from Whole Foods,” he said, his voice already tinged with apology.
“Yes…” I said. “I did order a turkey.” In my mind, I was chanting, “Don’t say there are no turkeys, don’t say there are no turkeys.”
“And you’re supposed to pick it up today?”
“Yes, I am picking it up today.” (Notice my very positive and definitive phrasing.)
Don’t say there are no turkeys. Don’t say there are no turkeys.
“Well, due to forces beyond our control, including an avian flu…” he began.
Don’t say there are no turkeys! Don’t say there are no turkeys!
“Some of our farmers have been unable to meet the demand for turkeys around this time of year…”
Don’t say it. Don’t say it.
“And we weren’t able to get a turkey in the size you ordered.”
PHEW.
“Okay, what’s the biggest size you have available? I’ll take that.”
“All right, I’ll put you down for that one. Thank you for understanding.”
PHEW.
I am very glad that we will be getting A Turkey, even if it is not the (admittedly enormous) size that I’d ordered after consultation with my mother. But really, what can you do? (Perhaps I would not be so magnanimous if there were an issue with the potatoes.) After all, I am more than happy to allocate my share of turkey to someone who needs it more. But the slightly smaller turkey will be FINE and I will live to panic again another day.
* * *
Carla and I were watching an episode of The Dog Whisperer the other day. One of the subjects of the show we were watching is a beagle fanatic. She wears clothing that features images of beagles. She has stuffed beagles. Beagle figurines. Beagle-patterned blankets. Beagle dishes. And, of course, a real live pet beagle.
This beagle mania (not to be confused with Beatle Mania) stirred a vague memory of something I read or watched, or maybe even experienced in person… Someone in possession of a similar large collection whose explanation behind it was, “I said I liked X, and suddenly every time someone saw a thing with X on it, they bought it for me.” Was it my mother-in-law, who at one time had many things featuring cows? I can’t remember. I do think of her every time I see something with a cow pattern on it, though.
I like both the idea that a person can be so in love with a thing that they want to surround themselves with that thing… and the idea that a person can unwittingly – nay, unwantingly – become the owner of a massive collection simply by expressing interest in a thing, or owning one example of a thing. The fact that one’s house – one’s life! – can be overtaken by a specific theme, purposefully or by accident, and that the theme itself can become emblematic of that person… well, I really like that as a concept. (In practice, it could be… tiresome, I admit.)
When I look around my house, I don’t really see anything that would make something think, “Oh! She’s an X person!” and then become reminded of me every time they see X in the wild. I mean, books, perhaps. (And I would be delighted to get a book for every present, from now until the end of time!)
Once, a friend gave me a very odd present. It is a… figurine, I suppose is the best word for it. It looks like a potato, but it has the features and appendages of a pig. Why did she give it to me? Did I strike her as the kind of person who needed a potato pig figurine in my life? (I am that person, but I didn’t know it at the time.)
The other day, I was admiring my very modest fall décor, and my eyes fell on one of my favorite things. It’s… also a figurine, I guess. It’s shaped like a gourd. But it has eyes and the beak of a bird. Maybe it is a squash swan, although that is exceedingly difficult to say. I apparently saw this gourd bird at some point and thought that I had to have it. And, indeed, I do.
Am I a person who likes vegetables that are also animals??? Is this My Thing?
I do not know. When my cupboards are filled with vegetable-animal mugs and my drawers are stuffed with vegetable-animal pajamas, I’ll let you know.
Are you An X Person? If so, what is your thing? Do you like being An X Person or have you grown weary of always being synonymous with X?
It seems as though I am doing NaBloPoMo this month, which is 30 blog posts in 30 days. (Will I make it??? Only time will tell.) Details at San’s blog here.
life of a doctor's wife 
Yes, for a while in high school I thought Winnie the Pooh was cute. Then people bought me so much Winnie the Pooh stuff that now I am thoroughly sick of Winnie the Pooh, don’t have a single item anywhere, and have negative associations with the whole franchise. Mild interest, totally ruined.
Oh no! An interest, ruined! I could see how that would happen though.
While I was growing up, I amassed a collection of angels–porcelain, mostly, but some different materials like stiffened lace or metal or crystal. The family story was that I went to an auction with my grandfather when I was four. Apparently, I saw a little porcelain angel and set my heart on having it, so much that I cried for it, and even though the angel was supposedly a family heirloom they didn’t want to sell, the guy in charge was so moved that he gave it to me for free.
I have SERIOUS doubts about this story, personally. I have quite a few solid memories of when I was four, and I have absolutely no personal memory of this auction. My sense is that the story was told to me so much it *feels* like a memory, but doesn’t have the authenticity of one.
Anyway, that started the ball rolling, and for every birthday, Christmas, or significant life event, I got a dang angel as a gift. I liked the collection because I was a very acquisitive child and liked collecting in general (I still like collecting book series). But over time it got so large and ended up being housed in a huge curio case that, by the time I had a small child, I felt uneasy about it because I kept picturing the case falling over, it was that tall and seemed top-heavy. After moving the collection just once, I decided to divest myself of it, sold the expensive ones (Lladros, Hummels), and donated the rest. I felt so FREE after that. There was a part of me that always felt that that side of my personality had been imposed on me: “SHE LIKES ANGELS. EASY GIFT IDEA.” I did draw the line at wearing t-shirts or jewelry with angels. For some reason, it was just collectibles.
I’m okay with being considered a book person. And a cat person. Stuff with books or even cats is fine. But I don’t really have friends who gift a lot, which is also fine, as I try to keep my personal belongings to a minimum.
I love this story! And it does sound freeing, to escape from under this collection.
I’m not an X person. Our home has a style, but not a particular theme. I know that when I was a girl everyone gave me ‘cat’ presents. From that experience I learned to never declare myself as loving any one thing again.
Ha! I am beginning to understand that!
Hahahahaha… love the turkey story. There’s an avian flu??? I wonder if other people are not getting their turkeys.
I completely understand the phenomenon you’re referring to- I haven’t exactly experienced it, except with color. My favorite color is purple, which means that people ALWAYS pick the purple option of everything for me. I can’t remember how it was, but recently a blogger wrote about how although her favorite color was purple, she hardly had any purple things, and why was that? Well, I can tell you why- purple can be an odd color for a lot of things. You don’t necessarily want everything you own to be purple. Now if someone asks me my favorite color I might say “purple…er, and teal.” Just in case.
I’m not a collector. For a brief time when I was a teenager a few people gave me porcelain dolls? Thank goodness that didn’t stick.
That gourd is adorable.
I like getting a new ornament each Christmas, but that is about as far as my “collecting” goes.
My husband likes Star Wars so most years I get him socks or a T-shirt that is related to the series (and he does collect Star Wars LEGO, so that is a real collection in our household, I guess, and he does get a set every single year at Christmas); the good things about socks and T-shirts is eventually they wear out. This year he’s getting a pair of R2-D2 socks, but I’m skipping the T-shirt for the first time in almost a decade?!
I love Snoopy and have collected things for over 25 years. My wedding cake topper was a bride and groom Snoopy. My daughter’s nursery was baby Snoopy. I have so many ornaments that I put up a tree that is only Snoopy. Most people know by now not to buy me something without consulting with me or my husband first. I get the same posts shared with me multiple times on FB, because it made people think of me.
Interesting! I shall now think of you whenever I see an animal-shaped vegetable, or a vegetable-shaped animal.
When I was little I was obsessed with Princess Di, and that led to many, many Princess Di items, mostly books that would have really been coffee table books for a much older person. Nowadays, people think of me when they see yoga-themed or zen-themed items, which I love. I have a set of yoga frog figurines and one of yoga bunnies, both from friends, and a friend cross-stitched me a mandala. I’m always getting yoga memes sent to me, and honestly, I am here for it. Lately a few people have started to associate me with gnomes which, well, obviously this is me.
My in-laws had a vineyard, my FIL was a second-generation grape grower. Their house was FULL of grape-and-wine-themed items that were gifted to them, to the point that my MIL would NOT want any such items anymore.
I have a lot of pig items. I really like pigs (even before I stopped eating meat, I hadn’t had pork in ages) because they are smart and useful. So it’s not something you’d notice a lot in our house unless you’re paying attention, but our key hooks are pigs, there’s a framed poster of a pig jumping into water in our mudroom, I have a flying pig fleece blanket by my office desk, and there’s one big pig stuffed animal in our guest room. I also have a fair number of clothing items with pigs on them (socks, t-shirts, pajamas).
But most people just know me as the person obsessed with my pets and books, so I’ll take that as my reputation.
My great grandmother was an elephant person and my parents still have a few (2-3???) from her collection. They are charming. I wonder how big the collection was originally.
I am here for vegetable animals!
Whew on the turkey scare! In both 2020 & 2021 there were rumors of turkey shortages and I was sweating a bit when I went out to the grocery store. It turned out to be a fowl-se alarm (ha ha ha) both times.
Your vegetable animals are cute and quirky!
I like colorful rooster figurines; however, I also dislike certain (most?) rooster decor, so I’m kind of picky about it. Still, I wanted a few of the kind I like as part of our kitchen decor. I expressly asked the few people most likely to buy me rooster decor NOT to do so because I didn’t want to be a “rooster decor person”. Seems to have worked!
Raccoons and ostriches. Tbh it’s a little out of control and I love it.
I love both those figurines, but I agree it’s a little harder to name their category than, say, turtles would be. My friend’s mother likes (or perhaps liked) turtles, but she was given so many over the years that I think she’s solidly over it by now.
Oh man, I feel bad for the guy who has to make all the turkey calls! I bet he gets some heat from some people! Hopefully the turkey you get is sufficiently large? We have had some massive turkeys in our past because we used to have huge thanksgiving with 30-40 people. I don’t even know what a normal turkey size is because we always got such huge birds and often a ham, too!
When I was young, everyone gave me “coke” branded stuff. I think I had a few things and then it just caught on and I became the “coke” person. These days I feel I am known for NOT wanting anything. Ha. I’ve had people say, “I know you don’t like gifts, but I got you X because I think you will really love it.” So I guess I am known as the gift grinch? 😉
First of all, glad you are getting a turkey. It was just last year that our turkey spoiled in the basement fridge because the fridge was slowly dying and we were unaware. I ran to the store and bought one that morning. Nothing quite like a little adrenaline.
That squash swan is very pretty. I love it.
I am not an X person. And I’m OK with that. Growing up we lived in a house that got a TON of mice during the winter. This prompted EVERYONE we knew to gift my mom with little mice figures. She ended up with a collection that she displayed on our kitchen windowsill.
I am not an X person, except for books (and yeah, keep those coming, baby). My mother in law loved pigs and she even bought them for herself, so I am confident she was happy when they were bought for her. Now that she’s gone I sometimes send something small and pig-shaped to my brothers-in-law and their families, because my little niece when asked what Nana Barb made her think of said “pigs. And Christmas”.
My mom bought Eve a sweet little angel ornament from a person at the craft show who makes them out of – I don’t know, I think they’re cloth that is molded with glue or something? They’re very pretty. She’s always bought her another one when we go back to the craft show, and Eve seems happy to get them. A couple of times someone gave us figurines that are part of a collection, and I couldn’t get rid of those fast enough – thank you, but no.
Haha! Vegetable animals. Now that’s a unique thing to call yours! 😉
I don’t think I am X person… if I had to self-identify, I would probably say I am a star person (I love things with stars on them or in star shape)… and I think some people think I am a giraffe person…. because I used to run by the local zoo and always shared how much I loved seeing the giraffes peek over the fence. People started sending me cards with giraffes on them…. fine! But don’t get me wrong, while I do love giraffes and think they’re awesome animals, I don’t need giraffe-anything in my home.
Not quite the same, but when I first met Jon’s Mom and she found out that I am from Germany, she went to a local German shop and bought (expensive!) imported goodies from Germany. What a sweet gesture.
One of the things included was a jar of Nutella, which, yes, probably to everybody’s surprise, I don’t like… but I didn’t say anything at the time and ended up getting jars of Nutella every time we visited. I finally had to tell her that I didn’t really like Nutella and didn’t need her to buy any more jars. (And no, Jon didn’t eat it either.)
P.S. I am glad you got a turkey – I know you could have done without one, but everybody else? Not so much. 😉
Yay – you got a turkey! I can only imagine how stressful that would have been if you didn’t.
I’m not really an X person but I know a few people who are X people and when I see that X something it makes me think of them. But generally, I try not to buy those particular things as gifts for them because I imagine they can become overwhelmed at the amount of X items that people throw at them.
Some people at my house don’t like turkey, either, and so we also get ham. We don’t get, like, a whole ham—I just tell the deli what I have in mind and they cut me a bunch of thick slices (like, as thick as you’d cut a slice of turkey, assuming you cut it like I do) of what they consider to be their best baked ham.
I remember seeing a tweet at some point that said something about wanting to tell their 12-year-old self to stop talking about owls so much, because everyone would be giving them owls for decades.
Getting that call is probably nothing anyone needs before Thanksgiving. I am glad they have a turkey for you.
I am not an X person. My grandma collected owls but other than her I don’t think I know anyone.
That duck is a cutie.
I collected frogs as a kid and during my 20s I got rid of most of the collection and sometimes I still regret that, but I have no idea where I’d put them if I still had them.
I am a Pink Person and a Flamingo Person. It doesn’t extend to my home decor except for one print I have in a bathroom, but for a personal item, I will choose pink and/or flamingos every time. I recently bought a pink flamingo luggage set and it immediately became one of my most prized possessions.
The squash swan is fantastic and I am glad you are the type of person who owns a squash swan. I never knew I needed something like that in my life until I saw it here.
I’m so happy that the Turkey Crisis was averted!
Laughing at the person surrounded by Beagles. That might be too much, but we do have a few Boxer art pieces in our home from when we had boxer dogs. (I still love them!)
I think your Potato Pig is cute!
You’d be shocked to know that people give me Bee and butterfly stuff all the time! 😳 Most of it is ‘outside gardden’ stuff, so it doesn’t last forever in the weather, so no fear of me being buried by any of it.
This reminds me of an episode of the TV show, Life in Pieces, where one of the moms on the show continues to get items with cherries on them because ONCE she mentioned how she likes cherries. And now that’s all anyone buys her! Haha.
I used to be the person everyone bought dachshund-related items. And now it’s cats! Or bookish things. Which I’m always happy to receive!
I feel seen. Finally. At one point in high school – I am not entirely sure when – I acquired a small, very cute, stuffed cow. You can see where this is going. I then became the person who received All Cow Things, All The Time. Bizarrely, although I felt no particular affection for cows, I embraced it, perhaps thinking that I needed to be a person who loves something? I had t-shirts, framed prints, cow ornaments, etc. etc. etc. I became thoroughly sick of cows and finally divested myself of all the cow crap at some point, thank goodness.
I also have an aunt who will think that a transitory childhood favorite (e.g., Garfield) remains a favorite in perpetuity. My father (her brother) does something similar, but not nearly to the extent my aunt does. I am ever so grateful that a) I live far away, and b) can donate any gifts that, um, don’t really align with my current preferences. 😉
It’s so funny to see what a) other people associate you with and b) realize that you collect something yourself…
I used to collect tortoise figurines in my teenage days. I dissolved that collection in 2019 after it had been sitting in a box for two decades. I kept two figurines though. Since then I wouldn’t say I really collect anything. At least not officially.