It is really too late to fret about this now, because it’s HAPPENING THIS WEEKEND, but that means I’m in Prime Fretting Headspace.
We are having Carla’s birthday party this weekend, and TWENTY PEOPLE will be here. Okay, eighteen. But that’s VERY CLOSE TO TWENTY. I have never had so many people at my house before.
Things that I am fretting over:
1. The Food: Because my husband has kindly and gently pointed out that one of the reasons I find entertaining so stressful, we are outsourcing the food. We are getting a big sandwich tray, along with some pasta salad, and some chips. I am TRYING to resist the urge to make homemade guacamole and salsa. We’ll see if I succeed.
I also really REALLY wanted to make macarons, but my husband gently and kindly persuaded me not to. And he’s right: they are time intensive and also finicky and I can imagine the feet not setting correctly and feeling frustrated and panicked. So. No macarons. Instead, we are ordering an ice cream cake.
Will we have enough food? Will people like it?
And what about alcohol? How much beer and wine do you need to buy for twelve adults? We don’t have anything resembling a cooler, so I bought two big plastic tubs from Target for $5.99 apiece that I’m planning to fill with ice and drinks.
Besides beer and wine, what’s appropriate to offer as drinks? I got some bottled water (although Target didn’t have EITHER Dasani or Aquafina – my preferred brands – and I had to buy Ice Mountain instead) and a box of fun-sounding La Croix. We have tons of diet soda already, but we don’t drink non-diet soda. Do we need to buy any?
2. The Décor: This is supposed to be a birthday party, so I want it to be somewhat festive. But I also don’t want to go too overboard. My ORIGINAL idea was to match the decorations to Carla’s dress, which is orange and blue and white.

It’s from Gymboree and it looks like I’m going to have to IRON the hem.
So I got some navy blue plates and cups and napkins and tablecloth and balloons and a “Happy Birthday” banner from Target. And some of those little poof things you hang from the ceiling. And a little banner for the cake. Man, Target really knows how to get you to spend a LOT of money on single-use stuff.

Image from Target.com
But I cannot find coordinating ORANGE decorations anywhere! Even my local Party Place only had about five orange balloons. I guess that will have to be enough.
Okay, that’s not entirely true. I did find the following from Amazon. But they are asking $12.95 for eight settings. Target charges $2.00 for 10 9-inch plates, $3.00 for 10 cups, $2.00 for 20 napkins.

Image from Amazon.com
Dammit, now I see that Target has orange party supplies ONLINE, so I could have ordered them! But now I am out of time! ACK.
And I was going to do blue macarons and orange macarons. But THAT’S not happening. So now I’m feeling like the décor will be half-assed.
3. The State of My House, Indoors and Outdoors: My house is my house, right? But whenever actual PEOPLE are going to spend time here, I start worrying about whether it is too shabby or too dirty or too cramped. Do we have enough chairs? No, no we don’t. Is there enough room in the living room? Nope, not at all.
Hopefully the weather will cooperate, and we can divide our time between inside and being in the backyard. I mean, I am REALLY counting on being able to throw all six of the kids into the yard so they can play.
But the deck is… well, if we are being charitable, it is “distressed” at best. And the latticework that ostensibly keeps creatures from setting up apartments under the deck is very beat up. The long side that faces the yard has fallen in completely, and it looks terrible. But THAT’S not going to be different by this weekend.
And I have been spending ALL SUMMER searching for cushions for our rag-tag collection of seating on the deck with NO LUCK. So finally this past weekend, in a panic, I ordered some things that might (fingers crossed) work, and those are going to arrive tomorrow HOPEFULLY.
What if it RAINS? What in heaven’s name will I do with six toddlers? I suppose I could spend a couple of hours making the basement more child-friendly, and just toss them all down there.
4. Entertainment for the Kids: I think here is one area where I am allowing COMPARISONS to freak me out. We recently went to a birthday party where the kids were all playing outside while the adults were eating and drinking. And somehow THAT party has become The Benchmark, and I know – I KNOW – Carla’s party won’t measure up.
It was her best friend’s party. And they have different circumstances than we do. A much larger house and yard, for one thing. And a nanny-share situation that means they have a TON of toys. But the party included: a massive trampoline, a bounce house, a mini-swimming pool, and a sprinkler.
We just don’t have those things, and nor would I want ANY of them, really. But since we DON’T have any of those things, I am fretting about what the kids will DO outside.
My mother-in-law has apparently bought us some sort of sprinkling apparatus. We have a small water table. Carla has a little tiny play structure with a small slide and a little hidey-hole underneath. She has a table with benches and an umbrella. She has a mini-trampoline that one person can use. There are various balls and bats and a little lawnmower. I think the kids will have things to play with. No one is going to be standing in the middle of the yard, staring in boredom at the grass.
I didn’t feel like doing gift bags (is this the wrong way to go?), but I did get every child a bubble wand. So they can play with bubbles.
Is this enough?
I am fighting the urge to hire a magician or that guy who comes equipped with turtles and armadillos and an alligator.
5. The Mix of People: We have invited:
- Family A: One of our closest friend families. One of our family friend families. A family of close friends.
- Family B: Another family that we’ve known for years but don’t see as often.
- Family C: Another family that we’ve known for years, and frankly I would LOVE to get to know them better, but until now we have only seen them when our parents and their parents get together.
- Family D: My husband’s parents.
- Family E: The parents of Family C.
So… Family A and Family B have met once or twice. Family C obviously knows Family D and Family E. We know everyone. But will they all find things to talk about? Will Family C feel awkward/left out? Will the Families of Parents feel like they are just there as add-ons? Will all our kids get along?
I am trying very hard to remember that MANY people are not as socially anxious as I am. And that Family A and Family B – at least – are super friendly and outgoing and can talk to anyone. And Family C is super nice and friendly, although I can’t speak to whether they are introverts or not.
The other thing I am trying to remember is that if I were the guest at a similar party, I would soothe my own anxiety by knowing I could just talk to my husband or play with my kid if it felt too awkward with the other adults. People DO this kind of thing all the time. They all said “yes!” when I invited them; they are grown ups; they know what they are getting into; EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.
Once I have made it through this list, I loop back to whether the house is clean enough. We are having a cleaning person come Friday to clean, and that will take care of surface things like vacuuming and toilets and such. But then I think about things like, Oh no! Our baseboards are still green! And, The grout in our tile is horrendous! And, Why haven’t we hung up those six paintings on the wall yet? But am I going to paint the baseboards or clean the grout or magically hang a gallery wall of paintings in the next two days? No, no I am not.
I swear to you: your guests are simply delighted to be invited. They are in awe of your wonderfulness and kindness. They love your dress, they love Carla’s dress… they even love your curtains and towels.
They are so happy, they would even eat off PLAIN WHITE NAPKINS!!
I promise you.
agreed. your party sounds excellently planned! The drinks options are perfect. Kids, I have found, are just thrilled to go to the host kid’s bedroom and check out her stuff (if you allow them to venture to bedrooms) — I’ve never had to worry about “how to entertain the kids.” If you want them outside, it sounds like there are PLENTY of fun things to play with. They’re totally good to go.
and you know, even IF I notice things like baseboards or dirty grout when I go visiting/partying, I don’t remember it afterwards. I only remember how nice it was to be invited, and start to think maybe I should invite people over once in a while. Their imperfections make me feel better about my own house, which is the same as theirs, dirty grout and all. So have fun! Smile and act like you intended everything to look just like it does, and don’t dare apologize! 🙂
All will be great! Everyone will be chatting with/ each other & probably will be watching the antics of the children.
If they were going to say not so nice things about your towels, baseboards, & whatever than those wouldn’t be the people you’d be having over to begin with!
For drinks perhaps you can grab a 12 pack of non diet, caffeine free (Sprite, 7up or Sierra Mist) soda (pop depending on where you live) & some juice boxes for the kids!
Relax & enjoy the company & Carla’s big day!
I would buy a bubble machine (because they are endless fun) and a big bottle of bubbles from Target for the kids, along with a big pad of plain white art paper. Set the paper out with washable crayons and let the kids all decorate and make murals. You can tape big pieces of paper anywhere or just put them on the floor and let them color away.
Your food & drink sound perfect. If you really want some “regular” soda you can get some of the mini cans of Coke or Sprite.
This is me. Entertaining makes me anxious and for some reason I deal with it by making watermelon salsa and complicated desserts. Because that makes everything easier.
I think it all sounds lovely. Really. I rented out a small bouncy place/gym for my son’s third birthday. The kids spent more time playing with the balloons than bouncing in the structures. I skipped gift bags – I don’t think really little kids even care. We had a metric ton of helium balloons (I blame my husband). Each child took some home and was perfectly thrilled.
Also, to the extent I ever notice imperfections in other people’s homes, it really just makes me feel better/more comfortable, knowing how very imperfect my own home is.