Let’s say you reach a certain point in your life when you decide that it’s time.
You want to make the leap.
You want to board a spaceship and head into space to search for a new habitable planet.
Listen, you’ve thought this thing through. You’ve done tons of research. You are 99% sure that there’s a perfectly excellent planet out there somewhere, making a slow circle around a star, just waiting for you to find it and call it home.
You talk to your husband about it, and he’s on board. Your parents are all for it. (Not that they NEED to be.) (And also, it’s a little weird that they are so supportive. After all, you’re headed INTO SPACE. I guess they just like the idea of being able to show photos to their friends and say, “See! That’s MY daughter in that spacesuit!” or “Look! My daughter is posing near Saturn!”) There’s no reason that TODAY is the day you need to abandon Earth, but there’s no reason it SHOULDN’T be today, either.
You go to NASA, and they’re all, “Sure, whatever floats your boat.” And they tell you to get yourself a spaceship and they’ll check it out and make sure it’s spaceworthy. They’ll even help make sure you get out of Earth’s orbit safely. (No guarantees, though. Space travel is tricky business.)
Of course, when it comes right down to it, despite your research, despite all your space friends who say, “There are TONS of great planets out here! It’s awesome!” you can’t be 100% sure. You could wind up on a planet with no grass. Or a planet that’s too far from a star for anything to grow on it. Or a planet that doesn’t have an atmosphere or water or air.
(Of course, maybe a planet with no grass wouldn’t be too bad! No more lawn mowing, man!)
And really, you have no idea if you’ll even REACH a planet. I mean, all you can do is keep your spaceship in good condition, type in some coordinates, and fire up the engines. Then you’ve got to hope that everything goes okay and you don’t burn up as you leave the atmosphere.
Okay, okay. Everything COULD go fine and you could wind up on a perfectly LOVELY planet with plenty of starshine that is able to sustain life.
So you and your husband are all set. This is happening. We’re going to leave Earth behind and set out for solar systems unknown.
But the thing about this kind of space travel is that you can’t ever come back.
Space being so roomy and all, you could travel quite a long time before you reach your new planet. And your space ship only has enough fuel and power for a one-way trip. Plus, once you reach your new planet and colonize it and set up camp, you can’t really LEAVE. That’s just… not cool. (Plus, do you know anything about space ship repair? Didn’t think so.)
And then, as you near your launch date, you start to think, “Man, I sure do love Earth.”
I mean, it’s got just the right amount of gravity. The air is plentiful. It’s the perfect distance from the sun. (Well, it COULD be closer during winter, but let’s not split hairs.) You’re familiar with all of its flora and fauna (well, except for those crazy weird ocean dwellers the National Geographic Channel shows.). You know how to get around pretty well, you know how to survive. It’s comfortable and you kind of love it.
All the people you know who have gone on to new planets say they barely miss Earth. “I mean, there’s no Chipotle in space! Ha ha! But my new planet is so awesome I barely even THINK about Chipotle anymore!”
And your fellow space travelers tell you that are other awesome things, too.
“This no gravity thing is so awesome! There’s no up or down!”
“The alien population – well, we call them ‘locals’ here – are super nice, even though we can’t really communicate that well!”
“The trees here? Are totally BLUE.”
“It’s ALWAYS sunset here – and the sunset is GORGEOUS! Dude, you are going to LOVE this perpetual sunset. It’s super romantic.
Sure, that all sounds fine. Nice, even.
But… You really ENJOY gravity. You LIKE being pulled DOWNWARD to a specific GROUND. And blue trees? Are you ever going to get used to that? What if there are no trees on your planet? Or what if they have snakes instead of branches and bricks instead of leaves?
And yes, sunsets are lovely. But what if being constantly on the edge of twilight makes you depressed and you end up hating EVERY SECOND of EVERY DAY?
Are the excitement of space travel and the pride and personal growth that come with colonizing your own planet really worth these possible negative outcomes?
The whole idea of space travel buzzes with wonder and excitement. You see photos of other people enjoying their planets, and you think, “Wow. That looks really amazing and fun.”
But Earth is pretty damn nice. What if you regret leaving it behind? And I’m not talking small regret, like “I regret not having worn two wedding dresses on my wedding day.” (Apologies if that is a BIG regret for you – I don’t know your life or what slowly kills you from the inside.) I’m talking “WHAT HAVE I DONE I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO REVERSE THIS” regret. The kind of regret that stares you in the face every day. The kind of regret that turns you into a sad, bitter shell of the person you once were.
Is there ANY WAY to know – for SURE – that hopping into a space ship and waving goodbye to life as you know is a GOOD IDEA? An idea that you’ll be grateful for every day, despite the weird gravity and the constant sunset and the lack of Chipotle? An idea that will make Life on Earth seem like a pleasant but wholly inferior experience you’re glad to have left behind?
And how do you know that your newfound love of All Things Earth is just butterflies, rather than a big neon sign flashing YOU ARE NOT CUT OUT FOR SPACE TRAVEL?
*I only BARELY know where that quote comes from, that’s how out of touch I am with “space.”
Do it! We all can’t be wrong that we chose to abandon Earth for these other planets with tiny beings! You’ll never want to go back, and I think you already know that, but the unknown is scary. Space is so dark when you think about it, but, once you start navigating it, it’s so much better than Earth! 😉
Dear God I hope I’m right about that whole metaphor/analogy or else I feel like a dumbass!
I feel you. My own experience with “space travel” led to plenty of times when I thought we should’ve done it differently. Of course, we got a particularly tricky “planet” and it took a toll on us. I’m glad things are better and that now we can enjoy it and appreciate it.
There’s no way to ever know. Sucks, doesn’t it?
I have three planets of my own. They are a lot of work, but they are also awesome 🙂
I have never met anyone who has has gotten on the spaceship *on purpose* and then thought “that was a total mistake.” Have you?
You can always take a vacation on Earth for a few days, if you find a babysitter.
I hope we are talking about the same thing. If its not, then, um, space travel is probably awesome too.
You’ve got two questions here, one is “How do I know I’ll prefer it to what I have?” and “How do I know I won’t DIE WITH REGRET that I did it?”
The first, you can’t know, but the good thing is that you KIND OF get to return, after, say, 18 years. Not to the same Earth exactly, but to Chipotle and everything. You’ll return as a space traveler with permanent connections to the planet you spent 18 years on, but you can still mostly come back.
The second, I think it’s safe to take a mental, estimating, gut-feeling poll. How many people do you know or have you heard of who BITTERLY REGRET the whole venture and are so so completely sorry they did it? Not many, right? In fact, very few? In fact, maybe no one? Whereas how many people do you know or have you heard of who BITTERLY REGRET staying on Earth and now they’re too old to safely travel in space? That’s a significantly higher number. Statistically, it’s a sound decision to leave. So that helps. Even the people who think it would have been better to stay on Earth after all have found many things about the new planet they now can’t bear to consider living without (“it’s like Chipotle, but WAY BETTER!!”).
Research clearly shows that people very rarely regret things they have done; rather, they regret things they didn’t do. This holds for all sorts of decisions, from schooling to work to having children.
Given this quirk of the human psyche, getting on the spaceship and finding a new planet seems to be the best decision. You have to remember that NOT going to the new planet is also a decision; it’s not like you can just opt out entirely.
(Also, if you are talking about children, they almost always make women happier in the long run, if not in the moment. Here’s a link to some of the research: http://www.bakadesuyo.com/do-fathers-love-their-children-less-than-moth I am afraid your husband is out of luck in this regard however.)
This is PERFECT. I didn’t know it, but this is exactly how I feel. I think I’ll print out some copies of this and keep them in my purse the next time someone dares to ask me about space travel.
As a sidenote, I had my 4th or 5th birthday party at a 3 story McDonald’s in Amsterdam. It was space themed, and going to the 3rd floor was “going to space”. When someone tried to take me up there, I became hysterical. My reaction, to both literal and figurative space, is still pretty much the same.
Oh, my friend. I know we have talked about space travel a lot. And yes, it is scary and frustrating and sometimes hair-pulling to leave Earth. But I agree with everyone above- I’ve heard people regret leaving Earth too early and heard people regret never leaving Earth – but never have I heard someone bitterly regret space travel.
I know that doesn’t help you – you’re still conflicted. But the people I know who made the decision (and actually knew all their life they would NEVER leave Earth) to never leave Earth don’t regret it. I think that if you were really meant to never leave Earth, you wouldn’t feel so conflicted.
Even if you stayed on Earth forever, who’s to say Earth won’t change? What if Chipotle closes? What if the trees die? Life will change no matter what and that is healthy.
Bottom line – there will always things you will miss about Earth. You don’t spend 20 or 30 years on Earth, leave, and promptly forget about the way things used to be. But as life changes, you find new wonderful, amazing things and as long as your fellow space travelers stick by you, it will all be okay.
Oh, I have been going through the same thoughts with a launch day approaching – you’ve expressed the feelings exactly (and amusingly)! I am alternately freaked out and excited, and I guess that’s all we can be at the moment, except for trying to enjoy and make the most of Earth now and the new planet when we arrive…
Does this have to do with babies? No? Oh ok – sorry, I have major baby fever right now so anything with metaphors I’m always linking to babies.
Moving along…
I think that as long as you have your husband’s support and him by your side you’ll be fine. The family support – definitely an added bonus 🙂
This is just the best post ever.
Space travel is scary but I keep telling myself so many people wouldn’t sign up for it if there wasn’t some really wonderful out there…..
Oh, oh, oh. You took the (clumsy, much less coherent, nowhere CLOSE to as eloquent) words out of my mouth. SERIOUSLY.
I love Earth so, so much. Earth is great. I think it’s because I’ve been here so long – I passed the point in my life when space travel sounded perfect and logical, and I’ve read many, many accounts of bumpy adventures out there. I’ve gotten far too comfortable here on Earth.
I know that plenty of people are cut out for it, but what if I am just not one of them?
Space travel – that final frontier from which there is no return. OMFG.
Everything worth doing in life requires a leap of faith. 🙂 You’re always going to regret NOT doing something more than you’ll regret trying something and struggling. At least, when I look back at my life thus far, I’m never regretful about the moments when I took a big risk or made a big decision. It’s those little moments where I feel like something worth doing slipped through my fingers that I regret.
Things may not turn out perfect in “space” (and probably won’t. There are benefits and negatives to everything). It’s a scary adventure. But you only get one life to take that adventure, right?
p.s. On my own space travel adventures- I do miss “earth” at times. But I would never go back. I’ve had the most precious, poignant moments of my life in the last 8 months. 🙂
Here’s my question, in response to some of the above commenters: if anyone did bitterly, bitterly regret leaving Earth, would they EVER come out and actually admit it to a non-traveler? I submit that they would not, out of crushing guilt for making such a statement. CONSPIRACY, I TELL YOU.
(I’m — mostly — kidding.)
Just FYI, if you make it to a new planet I’m guessing you’ll become VERY familiar with the phrase “to inifinity and beyond!” You may be forced to watch that movie many many times. But it’s super-cute when the aliens say it.
Also, my aliens are big fans of Chipotle.
Traveling into the unknown is always scary….Can you get there? Will you be a good new planet person? Will you know what to do when there are other worlds that collide? If you don’t make it, will you still be ok? Will you regret it if you don’t even try? But once you are on that rocket ship, hurtling towards that new planet…you will enjoy the ride and hopefully the new planet will take over your heart…Good luck.
I am 100% with you on this entire post! I know this feeling well as I’m in exactly the same place. I have no good advice to share with you, but wanted you to know that there’s someone out there in the trenches with you – trying to figure out if going to another planet is the right move. It seems like, after a certain age, it’s less acceptable to not have a burning desire to launch yourself to mars, so thanks for putting it out there and for being so honest.
That quote, is from Toy Story. The cutest movie of all time. And if “space” is having a baby, then it makes sense that your brain randomly chose a Toy Story quote. See, it’s fate. Head into space. I hear there’s no regrets in space. 🙂
One of the beauties of space travel is that you yourself stretch and grow and learn. You become. You become a better self, a self you didn’t know existed. Sure, space travel is LOTS harder than life as is on earth, but wouldn’t you regret not becoming your best self? Wouldn’t you regret not experiencing growth that can come in no other way? I would. There is always joy wherever you go if you carry it with you and look for it.
I don’t think you will know. I am having this same struggle with, uh, space travel #3. I am already IN SPACE, but I kind of want to come down already, but then sometimes I DON’T, and it is not like I can even DO THIS easily and maybe it will take a whole team of technicians to help out this time and I am still NOT SURE.
Wow, that was supremely unhelpful, except to say that you are not alone, even with people who have already done it before (twice!). Gah.
Do it! Life is an adventure. Yes, you can have adventures on Earth, but there’s so much more out there to explore. It’ll be worth it!
Having a baby is totally worth it. There is no going back BUT you don’t want to. 🙂
Space is cool and the martians are chubby-cheeked and adorable and Chipotle’s not that good anyway.
OH MY GOD ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE A BABEEEEE?!!!! I REALLY HOPE SO!
That is all I’ve got.
but also here is my blog post that is sort of about this:
http://princessnebraska.wordpress.com/2010/01/04/the-moment/
You are adorable. I know you didn’t mean this to be adorable and it’s a legitimate, wondering post, and it’s excellent in that way.
But also adorable. 🙂 wishing you peace. And a seatbelt.
It’s terrifying, isn’t it?
It’s very hard, and most women are very good at doubting their abilities (I know I am). But you’re part of a winning team. Together, you and Mr. Doctor can be amazing space travelers. You don’t have to be perfect to be great at it. As long as you go at it together, you’ll be golden. Planets are resilient things. It takes more than some bumbling space travelers to mess up a planet, despite what the anthropogenic global warming advocates claim 🙂
This post is totally awesome.
PS–gravity is a mind-trick anyway. 🙂
First – this is awesome. Second – long time no comment, eh? So sorry – I HAVE been reading. Just crazy busy and all that. Third – DO IT. Like, literally. And see what happens 🙂
Leap. It’s worth it.
Firstly, this is BRILLIANT!
Secondly, we can only do our best, and, in most cases, our best is enough.
Thirdly, I wonder if there could be an anonymous poll at a pink apartment-type place about whether or not anybody bitterly regrets their decision to leave earth…
In my life, there have been moments of wishing that starting life on a new planet weren’t so hard, but never (okay, maybe a few times when I was having SEVERE motion-sickness during travel) have I wished I hadn’t taken this journey. And it is comforting to know that I will be able to return to earth someday, but, of course, by that point, I probably won’t want to go back ;-)!
[…] go read this. It so perfectly it describes my feelings about having children. Sometimes I think yes, sometimes I […]
Reader for a year or so, but first time commenter–I must say–this is BRILLIANT. You should seriously submit this to a magazine or something because I think it captures the feelings of so many women so clearly. Fwiw, as someone scheduled to land in space in July, that feeling doesn’t change once you’re on your way. You’re still nervous about the journey and about the destination, but really excited at the same time. I can say, though, that the journey itself makes you even more appreciative of everything you have (especially your fellow space traveller). Anyhow, excellent writing–you leave me jealous that I’m not able to put words to my thoughts as clearly as you!
Well, if you’re actually talking about having kids, here, then sorry – you can’t know. You just decide to do it (or not) and then commit to it. But you can’t know until you just do it (or don’t). Scary, I know!
Um, I skimmed this entire thing because I was impatiently looking for an ANNOUNCEMENT and then there WASN’T ONE and I want my money back.
*taps foot, checks clock*
(EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!)
The girl who back in college did not want to even take a spin at orbiting Earth (hahaha – good one, me) is now thinking about leaving Earth all together?!? I hear Erin is a really great name for a new planet 🙂
I am eagerly awaiting the conclusion to this post…
You know, now that I’m en route to space- over halfway there- I find myself often questioning all the things I’m going to miss about Earth. All the time and gravity I’ve been able to hoard for myself and my selfish endeavors. All my husband’s time and gravity that I am able to hoard for myself whenever he has it. But, I’ve been told a couple things about space travel from wise old astronauts, and I’ve made some observations of my own.
1. Space travel is incredibly demanding, but it doesn’t have to keep you from your earthly pleasures either. In fact, it’s incredibly healthy to maintain your communication with earth and all the things you enjoyed on earth prior to space travel. Will you get to do it as often as you did before? No way. But do you have to abandon all hope ye who enter here? No way. It’s a challenge, but it is possible.
2. Some astronauts make THEIR ENTIRE LIVES about their planets- they give up their entire identity and ALL their gravity to the planets. But one day, those planets drift off into another universe, and then the astronauts are lost and a little bit broken (read: my mother). My space travel and planets will undoubtedly be important to me, but I cannot allow them to consume my life and identity.
3. You and your husb will be your very own type of astronauts, and you will find that your planets and the sustainability of your planets has a lot to do with who you are as astronauts and, well, people in general.
4. Eventually, it is possible for the planets you discover, and earth, to collide and become one. Not initially, since the planets need some care and looking after, but they do grow into their own planet with their own gravity.
It’s scary. And it’s a giant leap of faith. But from what I hear, it’s totally worth it and totally rewarding. I’ll let you know.
We’ve had two kids while my husband is in residency and its totally do-able. The not-knowing about the future and how your life will change is scary, but also exciting. Good luck!
I am so with you, with you, with you.
In the spacesuit, standing next to the launch pad, looking up into the great unknown and CAN’T WAIT to get started.
…And yet. I can’t quite seem to push the button.
What if the spaceship blows up? What if I’m not a very good spaceship driver? What if the planet is not only all it’s cracked up to be… what if it is really, really bad? Like the kind of planet you have to visit in prison because it turned out to be an ax murderer.
If planets could wield axes, of course.
There’s the question. Every day, every night. To push – or to not push – the button.
I dreamed you were pregnant.
Hmmmmm, well, I’m not a very good person to give advice on space travel as I never stray into the unknown and prefer to keep my feet firmly on the ground.
However, if I were to say, travel into space – I would say that carefully planning the trip and prepping would be key.
It’s important to build the best ship possible and to have a plan and a safety net prepared for any and all scenarios you might encounter on your new planet.
But knowing you – you’ve probably already done that 🙂
The thing about space travel is that you’re not really PREPARED until you’re actually in space. And, then you get the hang of it quickly.
Just checking in on you…hope all is well!