Oh my gosh, hello! How wonderful to see you!
I wasn’t expecting company today – thank you so much for stopping by!
Would you like to come in? The place is kind of a mess these days, but at least it’s warm.
Hungry? I can’t eat sweets, but I’d love to watch you eat my favorite cupcake of all time.
No? You just ate? Well, you have admirable self control my friend.
But I feel like I’m failing at my hostess duties if I can’t force you into consuming something. Can I get you a drink? I may have a strawberry Bellini lying around.
There. That’s better.
Now that you’re nice and liquored up, can I get your opinion on something?
Please, let’s head into the living room. Right this way.
Let’s talk about my fireplace.
I know. The dark green wall has GOT to go.
It’s a bit too tall for us to reach though – even with our extension ladder. (Although my husband has the brilliant/terrifying idea to set the ladder on the hearth and very carefully paint the tippy top of the ceiling. Yeah. No thanks.)
But don’t worry – we’ll figure SOMETHING out!
And we’ve already got the replacement paint color picked out. It’s called “Hinting Blue” from Sherwin Williams.
But let’s try to ignore the wall and focus on the fireplace.
It’s lovely. But… it’s kind of hideous.
I mean, it’s SO HUGE. And so very… bricky.
If I had magical powers, I would paint the brick and mantle white, I’d add tall light-giving windows to either side of the fireplace – like this or this – and I’d find a classy way to mount a (bigger than our actual TV) flat screen TV above the mantle.
CLASSY, I said.
No, I really think it can be done in a classy way.
Okay, we’ll have to agree to disagree.
Anyway, since I am neither a successful coke dealer nor the inventor of actual Coke, the windows will have to wait.
Unless you have a brilliant and cost-effective way to insert windows into the side of a house?
But I do still have dreams about painting the entire fireplace white.
No, I have no idea how to paint wood OR brick.
But! I have been pinning a lot of white fireplaces on Pinterest! Didn’t you know that if you pin enough images that you unlock a level where little robots climb out of your computer and do your every bidding?
I’m thinking that I can get away with just painting the mantle. You know, if I can figure out how to do that. I’m envisioning a result like this.
Of course, our fireplace doesn’t have that same kind of fancy wood surround.
Maybe it will look less awful once the green paint is a distant memory?
Oh, you’re so sweet. Thank you for saying it isn’t that bad. I know one girl’s ugly fireplace is another girl’s beautiful focal point. I just need to find an easy, cost-effective way to DO THAT.
Well, it looks as though you’ve finished your drink. And I really should get back to work. Shall I show you out?
If you have any thoughts about what to do with this monstrosity, or any ideas for general fireplace sprucing, give me a ring.
It was lovely to see you. Thanks for stopping by! You are welcome in my home any time!