1. Let’s say that you enjoy walking outside. And that your apartment complex has a lovely ovular walking path that is conveniently one mile long. Let’s also say that seemingly every time you go for a walk, a specific spandex-clad girl is also walking. But she is walking in the opposite direction. So you pass her twice per mile.
What do you do every time you see her? Smile? Say hello? Pretend she is invisible? Start walking in the opposite direction?
2. If your apartment complex offers some really great amenities… Like a gym with TVs in all the cardio machines… And free WiFi… And a pool…
Do you complain if one (or multiple) of those things stops working? Is that being greedy? Or do you figure that part of your rent is paying for those things, so it’d be best if they were in working order?
3. If you enjoy working out in the gym of your afore-mentioned amenity-packed apartment complex… And the gym windows are always open in the summer… And there is no way to CLOSE those windows… And the apartment complex staff members enjoy smoking outside those windows, in such a fashion that the smoke wafts into the gym and into your rapidly-filling lungs… Seemingly no matter WHAT TIME you make it to the gym…
What would you do?
4a. Let’s say your husband were about to (hopefully) match into a fellowship program that would determine where you would live for three years… Let’s also say that the earliest he can find out where (if) he matched is noon, via the Internet… And that you will be at home, working, at noon while he will be in the hospital, also working, at noon…
Would you require want him to wait to check his match status online until such time as he could call you simultaneously?
4b. What if you were going to be out of town, with work colleagues whom you do not want to cry in front of (should he match at your bottom choice or not match at all), and didn’t get done with work until 6:00?
Would you require want him to wait to check his match status online until such time as you are able to get away from your coworkers and call him on the phone?
5. Is there such a thing as too many pairs of nude shoes? (And by “nude” I mean “neutral-colored,” not “shoes that you where whilst naked.”)
6. Let’s say you got wind of a great sale at Ann Taylor Loft and saw a shirt that you liked. That was only $15. Which you feel is a Real Deal even though you likely don’t actually know what a Real Deal is. How many of the same shirt – in different colors, of course – is it reasonable for one person to own?
7. If you bought a cute mesh-style hooded sweater from AnnTaylor during the afore-mentioned sale, even though it wasn’t on sale, just to make sure you were able to get free shipping… And you could recall seeing folks of the Carrie Bradshaw and Kim Kardashian variety in similar shirts, wearing only a (clearly-visible) dark bra under the mesh…
What would you wear under the mesh sweater?
8. If your gym did NOT have a specific no-cellphone policy, would you nonetheless be annoyed by people who not only talk on their cellphones whilst treadmilling but do it at a volume loud enough to pierce through the sounds of your own labored breathing and Judge Judy in your headphones?
9. Let’s say that you open the freezer to get some ice. And you spot the box of Skinny Cow cookies-n-cream ice cream sandwiches sitting right next to the ice tray. And you forego any other sweet treats so that you can both eat a Skinny Cow cookies-n-cream ice cream sandwich AND still stay within that days’ self-imposed caloric boundaries. And you think about the creamy ice cream sandwiched gently between two chocolatey cookies ALL DAY. And then you go to retrieve your sandwich from the box and find that the box is empty…
What would be the appropriate response to the spouse who left the empty box in the freezer?
10. Let’s say you got invited to a wedding. In Dallas! In September! Let’s say the wedding is an early afternoon wedding on a Sunday… and that the reception is a “brunch” that goes until 5:30.
What would you wear? (Links welcome.)
All right, Internet. I would like any and all answers you have to these questions. And if you have any hypotheticals that need answering, have at it in the comments.
Work your magic!