My husband and I spent a few minutes yesterday discussing the Other People who are on our holiday list of gift recipients.
Namely, my hairdresser and the driver of the car service I use for work travel.
I usually give my hairdresser a check in the amount that I would normally tip her on a cut and color. I don’t know her all that well… I know she had a baby a few months ago and she likes dark and disturbing memoirs (the hairdresser, not the baby… at least, as far as I know)… That’s about it.
And I’m sort of stumped as to what to do for the driver.
Food is out, for various reasons. I’m not sure how I feel about giving him wine. And while I know a lot about his family – and how much he adores his grandkids (a three-month-old and a three-year-old) – I honestly don’t know what restaurants he frequents or what music he enjoys or anything that would help me get him a more personal gift.
I think we settled on giving him a Visa gift card for the amount of a trip to the airport.
But man, I feel like checks and Visa gift cards are kind of boring.
Do you have any rockin’ ideas for what I could do instead? Or in addition? I feel very strongly about thanking these two people in particular. I deal with them both several times a year and they are excellent service providers. They deserve a lovely (or thoughtful) gift.
Also, do you normally tip your mail carrier?
We got a note in our mailbox last December from our mail carrier, sort of insinuating that we should give her a gift. Which I was HAPPY to do. Lord knows she works hard and has a pretty thankless job – and I’m sure the recession hit mail carriers pretty hard.
We gave her a Target gift card. Kind of lame, I know, but it was the only idea we had.
And then there’s our apartment complex staff. Last year I made them cookies. This year, I’d like to make cupcakes or brownies. But if I am pressed for time, I may do cookies again.
I guess what I am curious about is two-fold:
- Do you do any holiday tipping? If so, who do you tip and what do you tip them?
- And – whether you are a holiday tipper or not – how would YOU feel about getting a boring old check/Visa gift card… and if you would hate it, what would prefer instead? (Remember, food is out.)
Of course, if you have other Strong Feelings about holiday tipping, please let me know. I strongly want to know them.
Man food being out makes it really hard. We usually pair a gift or gift card with food. I make large batches of cookies, breads, and holiday candy. My husband takes them to the labor floor, department, and clinic every year for the nurses and staff. Other than that we also tip our apartment maintenence guy. We usually give him a loaf of cranberry bread and a gift card. We know that he is remodeling a really old home so we usually get him a gift card to Lowe’s. We usually get my husband’s nurse a gift or gift card also. I buy each of my kid’s teachers something. Again I try and pair a gift card with something homemade. This year I got them each a gift card to Starkbucks and made them coffee cozies. They may not all like coffee but they also have great tea and hot cocoas too. It’s hard to know what to buy and to decide how much to spend. I don’t want to go cheap because I do truly appreciate them all but at the same time we live on a budget so making food or small handmade gifts is how we try and save a little money.
Yes, I LOVE giving (and receiving!) food gifts for the holidays. It IS too bad they are out as options for these two particular people, but one is a very picky eater (I know that but not what foods are IN) and the other has just lost 100 pounds, so it would seem rude to give sugary, fattening sweets.
I’m new to the grown up world so this will be the first year I tip anyone specially- but while the visa card/check may be a little dull for you to give- I’m sure it won’t be dull to receive!!!
Most people could use a few extra bucks :0)
I am an insane holiday tipper, especially considering I have no g-d money. Last year I tipped my Peapod guy like twenty bucks and I swear I thought he was actually going to embrace me, which you know – made me kind of nervous.
I definitely would not have a problem with getting a gift card. I love gift cards. Everyone should!
So I have a question for you: Do you tip your hairdresser even if you don’t go in during the holidays at all? Say, my last haircut was months ago and I won’t be going back in until like February. Do I need to make a special trip up to the salon to tip her for Christmas? I have gone in around Thanksgiving one year and tipped very generously over my already generous tip, so I don’t want to sound like a horrible patron, BUT, I think it sounds a little ridiculous to send a holiday tip/gift if I won’t see her the whole season, especially when people much closer to me than my hairdresser do not receive gifts (I’m not a grinch, it’s just a budget thing and I don’t bake). Thoughts?
I always tip my hairdresser. But this is because I am one of those weirdos who are totally, completely vain about my hair… And also get nervous when anything out of the ordinary happens to my hair. So I want to make sure my hairdresser LOVES me and would never think of accidentally cutting too many inches off my hair or dying it purple.
BUT… I think if it’s a budget thing, a card is perfectly nice maybe with a $10 Starbucks card or something? Or a box of holiday mints or chocolates from a department store? You can usually find really good deals this time of year.
I guess I am saying, yes, give her a gift.
Then again… I am fully in support of Not Doing Anything That Will Stress You Out. And if it will stress you out to give her something and NOT give a gift to other, closer people, then skip it. It’s not worth the headache.
Sorry for the wishy-washy reply. Maybe others will be more definitive.
I think the only person I’ll be doing a holiday tip for is my mail carrier. She’s awesome. She always stops to gab and brings my Chihuahuas dog treats every day. I work at a massage studio, so I’m getting her a gift certificate to go there. Other than that I don’t really have anyone I need to tip. I haven’t been to the hair dresser in ages and the one I really like quit to go back to school, so I really don’t have a steady one.
It might feel lame, but a VISA gift card probably feels anything but lame. Especially in this economy.
P.S. You’re making me feel like a bad grown up! I apparently need to get on this ‘service provider tipping program’!!!!!
Holiday tipping can definitely be a tricky thing. However, with food being out as an option for tipping, perhaps you could go with a gift instead of a tip. Pay attention to certain hardships your service providers face on a daily basis. Your mail carrier’s job has got to be awful on her back and her feet; why not buy her a massage or pedicure? It’s something that would make her feel special that she might not spend on herself. As for your driver, it can get pretty cold on those winter days while traveling around. Perhaps you could get him a new scarf or some good, sturdy gloves?
As for me, I would be flattered with any sort of gift card. They’re thoughtful enough enough to say, “I appreciate you!” and not as careless looking as if you just scrounged up what was in your wallet.
You are a thoughtful person for wanting to show your service providers appreciation, and I’m sure they will graciously accept and enjoy whatever you decide to give them! 🙂
I love your idea for a gift for our mail carrier! Maybe a pedicure or foot massage would be a good gift!
Oh, tipping makes me SO NERVOUS! I’m especially nervous that it will be TOTALLY NORMAL to tip someone, and that we will be omitting it out of ignorance but it will come across as awfulness—like neglecting to tip a waiter does.
Anyway! Right now we give Target gift cards to mail carrier, bus driver, and teachers. I’ve also done Starbucks or Dunkin’ Donuts cards. I used to give gifts, but then read too many comments on gifts-for-teachers posts and SIGH. I SUSPECT gift cards (with holiday card and nice note) are most recipients’ idea of Best Ever Present.
If you don’t know a person well enough to be able to think of something decent, then gift card is probably your best bet. And will be highly appreciated. Everyone loves some free cash.
Also, it never even crossed my mind to give the mail person (gender neutral because I’ve never seen my mail person) a gift/ baked goods/ anything. I’ll get on that. My mom and I just baked 50 dozen (not even kidding) cookies this weekend so it should be pretty easy.
Cash cash cash cash cash. Cash is king. Skip the cookies and just give moolah. I’d give your car service guy money, for sure, as it sounds like he knows you and provides good service. Maybe the cost of a trip to the airport?
We will be tipping our newspaper delivery guy ($20, probably) and that’s it. If we order a pizza or Thai food or whatever in the next few days, we’d tip our delivery guy more than what we’d normally give. We don’t have kids, so there are no daycare providers to tip and we don’t have an apartment building super (ala New York City). In NYC, we’d probably give the super maybe $50?
I’ve been told that you are supposed to give the equivalent of the price of a normal haircut to your stylist at Christmas. I’m really bad at remembering to get haircuts, though, and only go in maybe three times a year. I went in last Christmas and got my hair did, though, and had a different stylist at the last second (who gave me really weird bangs I didn’t like) so I didn’t give a holiday tip last year. I’m not planning to get my hair cut again until after the holidays, so I probably won’t tip my lady for Christmas this year (in response to LSW’s query).
Oh lordy now I am fretting that I give my hairdresser the wrong amount. I’ll have to look back at years past (I didn’t have a hairdresser this time last year) to see what we gave my old – and much beloved – stylist.
It’s easy for me to say “the cost of a haircut,” though, because I don’t do anything to my ‘do except get it cut and blowdried. If I were getting highlights or lowlights or a perm (anyone do those anymore?) and it cost me upwards of $100 each time, I’d be singing a different tune. My haircut costs $40-50 usually. Dang, actually, the idea of giving an extra $40-50 as a holiday tip sounds steep, too, though.
I don’t tip the mail carrier, but the service people at my building are fabulous (maintenance team and shuttle driver)! Last year, I meant to give the shuttle driver a card with a check in it and ended up leaving town for the holidays before I had a chance to do it. (I know that sounds lame, but I was pretty braindead after finals.)
I think cash or gift cards are great gifts, especially if you don’t know the people well. It gives the option for them to use the money how they want, and shows that you are appreciative for what they do.
Also, thanks for stopping over at my blog and leaving a sweet comment! I’m glad I found your blog too!
I get confused about tipping too. I tipped my hairdresser regularly when I went last week. We are going to leave a card with a tip for our cleaners – they do an amazing job – and I’m planning to leave half the amount of a regular clean. My daughter’s preschool teacher has requested we donate instead of give a gift . . . I’m having issues with her anyway so wasn’t planning a gift anyway. Hope that isn’t terrible!
WOW, I am a terrible person. I dont tip any of those people for the holidays. I prefer to give my money to charity. To be very honest, I have different views on tipping. I will tip a food server but sometimes have a very difficult time doing it. My husband is a chef and often works 12+ hours and make quite a bit less then the servers. Also, I do not receive tips in my job (I work in child welfare and protection, and no, I dont make a lot of money nor do i get a bonus) and often feel that I shouldnt tip people because we need to draw the line somewhere! My mail carrier make more an hour then I do, and I tip my hair stylist every time I see her and i make sure its a good amount. Sorry, I am not in to the holiday tipping at all. I much prefer my money go to charity.
I think it’s wonderful that you give to charity. Tipping isn’t mandatory, and it needs to be right for the person doing the tipping. (No point in giving someone money if a) you can’t afford it or b) you would feel stressed/grouchy about it or c) you have limited funds and want to divert them elsewhere.)
I don’t really give gifts/tips to service people around the holidays. I think that’s a regional thing. I know one person who gives her mail carrier anything but that’s it. I had a rural paper route eight years ago and of the 400 houses I delivered to I think maybe three left me any kind of a tip or gift. And one of those “gifts” was a card with 6 stamps. The hell?
But I digress. I’m sure gift cards would be a much appreciated gift. And if they don’t like it tell them to move to central Minnesota where no one gives you anything and you like it that way.
Am I supposed to tip my landlord? I pay them every month…and they take forever to fix anything. I just gave them a plate of cookies… hmm, maybe I’m a bad tenant.
For the first time in my life I will be tipping my hairdresser… but only because I found a set of vintage swing records (vinyl) at a thrift store and I knew she’d flip — it is cool, it is a full set of hits… but it only cost $1.50.
I have an issue with tipping though. I am not a fan. Of course I always tip my hair dresser when I go. And I tip 20 percent at restaurants, usually. But I don’t think I”ve grown up into a good holiday tipper! I’m betting it stems from my dad.
What an awesome topic of discussion. We gave our daughter’s chlidcare worker at the gym a treat. We plan on giving our mail carrier a cash tip and our super a cash tip. All the parents in my son’s preschool class got together to offer a hefty cash gift to all three teachers and the school’s janitor. I hope I’m not forgetting anyone this year.
Oh, I have SUCH anxiety about this!! I’m not sure what to do! Funds are definitely an issue for us, so it would be something small but I really believe that the thought is what counts, especially for service people, as they I agree that cash is king. That way, people know you’ve thought about them, but then they can still get exactly what they want.
P.S. Thank you SO MUCH for your comment on my last post. Seriously. You always make me feel better. You are the best.
I am not a gift card hater…but that’s just me. Did you know that there are rules about what the mail carriers can accept? I just learned about that!
Oh lordy NO. I did NOT know that. Looking them up now…
Okay, according to several sources, you cannot give your mail carrier a tip in cash, and the gift must be less than $20 in value. So it seems that a gift card would be the ideal gift in this situation.
I don’t understand holiday tipping. I mean, it’s one thing if it’s your personal housekeeper or something. But your mail carrier? Really? Don’t get me wrong – I think it’s a nice gesture to acknowledge anyone who does you a service. I just don’t think it should be obligatory.
It seems odd to me too. I think it’s a regional thing?
So it turns out I’m not quite an adult yet. For I hadn’t even considered such manners.
And it also turns out I love being a kid.
‘Cause I have no freaking idea.
Can I just say that this is a sweet post! I think you are awesome to be so giving! I just received a Target gift card in the mail today and it totally brought tears to my eyes. She didn’t know what I needed and so she did that and it meant so much. Since you don’t know much about them, a gift card is nice. If you wanted to make it more personal for your hair dresser you can always give her a Toys R Us so she can spend it on gifts for her little one. I KNOW she’d appreciate that!
Love this post – to reiterate how I feel about this – I don’t tip the mailman or the trashmen – BUT – I have given cash donations to two separate animal shelters, I’ve dropped off tons of clothes to good will – AND although I don’t tip the service people in my life, I bought gifts for my support staff at work that make my life and my job easier and manageable.
As a teacher who has received more than her fair share of lame gifts (though I definately prize the kind thoughts behind each one – it’s amazing when middleschoolers still do give gifts!), I can say that a gift card of some sort or a visa card if for a larger amount is always appreciated, especially from those families I don’t know well. It is nice to be thought of and I’d usually rather have something that I can put towards a larger item that I need, over baked goods that I’ll just pass on to someone not on a diet (if there are such people anymore).
I can’t believe I’m the only one who would toss out home baked foods from people I didn’t know really well (and I don’t think I’m a germ freak either). I just don’t know what their kitchen cleanliness is like. I would only eat baked goods from my friends-not people I knew in service-related relationships.
I am actually surprised to read how many people are giving food products as gifts. While the thought, like all gifts, is in the right place, I would never eat it. Then, feel horrible about throwing it out/ giving it away. You have to think, would you eat something a virtual stranger baked at their home? Give the gift card. They will love it and use it.
After reading these, I am still sticking to my policy…
I give my babysitter & assistant a little “extra” at Christmas time. It averages out to be about half of the babysitter’s weekly rate (I give her cash) and I spend about $75 on my assistant (Actual gift, we spend a lot of time together & have similar taste. This year, a Coach wallet.)
I have never really understood tipping extra to people that I (either directly or indirectly) pay anyways. The mailman gets paid to bring my mail just like the girl at Macy’s gets paid to ring up my gifts. I wouldn’t tip her extra, so why would I tip the mailman (hairstylist, etc.)
Just my 2 cents. Hope I’m not committing a major faux pas, but I think getting gifts from acquaintances is odd. I’d feel weird if the mailman gave me some cookies for having mail for him to deliver, thus supplying him with a job to do everyday.
I don’t tip anyone. Haha, let me explain.
I get my hair done so sporadically and my stylist (incidentally my husband’s cousin) rarely ever returns my texts and phone calls the first time, so I honestly don’t feel she deserves a tip. I would bring her sweets or a little gift or something, if, you know, maybe she’d texted me back OVER A MONTH AGO. (Seriously, I texted her on November 10th. Aaaaand nothing.)
We have a cleaning lady, but she’s only been cleaning our house since the summer and I don’t really KNOW her yet, so maybe next year if she’s still with us, she’ll get a Christmas bonus (or maybe she’ll just get sweets too, I do not know.)
I have a hard time tipping above and beyond what I already tip throughout the year, you know? Especially for people who set their own prices, like my cleaning lady.
I think tipping your car service guy is great, especially if you really like him and it’s the same driver each time, so you “know” him more than if they sent a different driver each time. It’s people like that who really make or break your day, I think.
My mail carrier – who I wouldn’t know if he or she slapped me in the face – does not make or break my day, so therefore, no tip.
Basically my rule of thumb is this: If people are just doing their job and I’m ALREADY PAYING AND TIPPING THEM ANYWAY or if they set their own prices, then I don’t see the point in tipping. However, a gift of cookies or maybe a Christmas ornament or a nice bottle of lotion or something would be nice to give to those people.
For people who don’t get paid tips above and beyond what they make, say, apartment doormen or something, then I’d say a tip is nice.
I tip (and tip well) for haircuts, etc but I do not engage in any holiday tipping at all. The office is contributing to a gift bag for the housekeeping lady and I am planning to contribute cookies. She is a very nice lady and does a great job, but I really don’t feel like it’s my place to be giving people mini holiday bonuses! Ah, I feel anxious and grinchy just thinking about it!
Yeah, I think if it makes you feel anxious and grinchy you should avoid it at all costs. Giving is supposed to be fun. If you do it out of a sense of grudging obligation… Well, that kind of defeats the purpose, right?
Cleaning ppl = cost of one cleaning given when they come for the preholiday clean.
Beauty = for ppl I regularly go to, 40% tip at an appt btw thanksgiving and new years.
Condo/apt bldg staff = my husband organizes with neighbors/hoa for everyone to chip in. I think it is 25 to 50 per unit which is then divided amongst cleaners, managers, engineer, etc. The year before we got this organized, we just gave cards, cookies, and a 25 gift card to the ppl we knew (2 maintenance cleaning ppl who were super).
Driver (and misc) – either cost of service as a gift or double tip (40%)
I think cash or gift card is the most appreciated.
You are Awesome to be thinking about this. Too many ppl don’t tip at all or do holiday tipping. That being said, I do NOT ever tip at coffee shops, ice cream shops, or any of these random places where I go to a counter to place, receive and pay for my order.