Shortly after my husband and I moved to Mid-West City for residency, we decided to combine cell phone plans.
Yes, up until that point, my husband had been on his parents’ plan. Which meant that he’d never had the complete joy of paying for his own cell phone.
Combining our plans was not as easy as you’d think. In fact, it was overly complicated by the fact that my husband’s job at the hospital allowed him to get a discount. Which meant that he needed to be the primary account person. But – for some very urgent reason I can no longer remember – it was critical that I still be the primary number.
Oh yes – now I remember. Because I get unlimited minutes to certain numbers (all clients) only if I’m the primary number.
Anyway, so he is the primary account holder… I am the primary phone number… I don’t know what any of that means, except that Verizon telemarketers call ME to ask questions about the account… but I can’t answer any of the questions because I am not the primary account person.
It’s hilarious and awesome.
Every time Verizon calls me, they ask me if my husband is around. And I say no, and then they say, “Oh, well we can’t talk to you because you’re not the primary account holder” or some such. To which I helpfully respond, “Why don’t you make a note in the computer that says DON’T CALL THIS PERSON BECAUSE SHE DOES YOU NO GOOD?”
Doesn’t help, Internet. Not one bit.
(For the record, I try to be very nice and patient with telemarketers. One of my sisters-in-law used to be a telemarketer, and so I picture her on the other end of the line, just trying to make some money.)
Anyway, I got a phone call from Verizon the other day. I knew it was them because they call me every time I get close to going over my text messaging limits.
(Which is like, 10 texts a month. And paying the overage is STILL cheaper than paying an extra $5 a month for text messaging, because I don’t go over it very often. But try to explain that to the Verizon people, and they become very flummoxed. “But… It’s just $5…” they say in utter bafflement. Yeah, $60 a year that I don’t need to spend on texting.)
So I answered the phone, to remind them to NOT CALL ME, and was met with this:
“Hi, this is Verizon wireless. Please hold for a telemarketing representative to discuss your account.”
Ha. Ha. Ha.
Polite I can do. Patient I can do. But no way am I going to HOLD for a telemarketer! I’m sorry, that is where I draw the line.
To all of the big business CEOs and marketing execs who are no doubt reading this blog, here’s a little tip:
If you are going to make a sales call to a person, to try to cajole money out of said person, make sure your sales representative is ON THE LINE.