I know that pretty much the entire blogosphere is at BlogHer, this very second, forming friendships and meeting their favorite bloggers in person and collecting big bags of SWAG… And I know this because I am NOT there, and am dejectedly hitting “refresh” on my favorite blogs just in case they are updating from NYC.
Anyway. Here’s some randomosity!
* Even though I am pouting – just a little – about not being a BlogHer, I don’t think I could ever go. For one thing, I am hugely awkward in person. For another thing, I am very shy, and would probably spend the whole conference skulking in the backs of rooms and wistfully glancing at the bloglebrities I’d die to meet and then going up to my hotel room and crying.
* My husband and I got into a super huge fight this week. It involved our upcoming vacation. You see, he came home from work at 9:00 in the morning and asked me if I’d had a chance to look at Asheville and Charlottesville and decide where to go on our vacation. I told him I’d only been able to look in Asheville, and I found a really cute B&B called the Biltmore Village Inn. Then HE said that HE’D found something called the Residences at Biltmore that looked really nice. And then he said that he’d also found something called the Inn at the Biltmore that looked really cool too.
Wherein I said, “I JUST told you about the Inn at the Biltmore.”
And he said, “No you didn’t. You just told me about the Residences at Biltmore.”
And I was all, “Are you crazy, man? YOU just told ME about the Residences at Biltmore! I had never heard of that until you JUST NOW TOLD ME!”
And he was all, “Nuh uh.”
And by this point I was in a frothing rage because he was being CRAZY and on top of that STUBBORN, so I screeched, “YOU JUST TOLD ME ABOUT THE RESIDENCES. I WAS THE ONE WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT THE INN AT THE BILTMORE!”
And then he went to brush his teeth and we both calmed down and looked things up. And apparently we are both idiots.
* Speaking of Asheville. THANK YOU for all your excellent advice! You did absolutely nothing to help me make a decision, but you did make me feel a whole lot better about going to either Charlottesville or Asheville.
However… There’s been a vacation… snafu, if you will.
You see, my MIL just informed my husband that she has a week of her time share available. And I’m not going to pretend I understand time share logistics, but it sounded like we could use it for our vacation.
And let it never be said that I am a spendthrift, Internet! I jumped all over the possibility that our lodging could be FREE.
However, there are no places where we could stay in Asheville or Charlottesville.
Hence the snafu.
There are some OTHER places we could go. (And stay for FREE.) But for some reason, none of those places are particularly appealing to my husband. He is SET on Charlottesville (or Asheville, but he is leaning toward C-Ville). And he is fine with not only a) paying for rooms but b) paying a LOT for rooms and c) having a shorter vacation than we would with the time share.
Baffling, I tell you.
* At this very moment I am eating cottage cheese and carrots. And I have the sinking sensation that the cottage cheese has, shall we say, “turned.”
I mean, I smelled it before I put some on my plate. And I checked the expiration date (Monday the ninth). And I even tasted a little curd, which seemed fine. But now that I’m eating big bites of it, it’s got a weird, sour, “off” sort of taste.
I guess if you see another post like this one, you’ll know who to blame.
* Speaking of food poisoning… because it’s everyone’s favorite topic… If the cottage cheese does me in, that will be the second time this summer that I’ve had food poisoning. Also: The second time EVER.
How can one go 29 years without suffering from food poisoning… and then have two bouts of it in the span of a couple of months?
* By the way, in case you were wondering, the second bout with the ol’ FP was far better than the first bout.
That’s because the first bout occurred while my husband and I were out of town. And we were staying with friends. Who only have one bathroom. Conveniently located right across the hall from their bedroom.
So the second bout did not have that embarrassing side effect. Also, I did not have to deal with Sweat Chills, where you are hot as hell and damp as a wet rag but your teeth are chattering.
Nor did I have to deal with Running Out of Toilet Paper When You Need Toilet Paper More Than You Ever Have in Your Whole Life. Which led to me frantically searching under the bathroom sink in my friends’ house… and then crawling (YES. On my hands and knees) down the hall to the guest room where my husband was blissfully asleep and begging him to help me find the toilet paper.
Y’all. My husband has NEVER – in the entire duration of our nearly nine-year relationship – seen me barf. And I was afraid that Bout One with the Ol’ FP would end that streak. (It didn’t.)
* My, this blog post has certainly taken a turn for the disgusting. Thank goodness no one is reading!
* So, in non-barf-related news, I think the Universe has it out for me. Every time I schedule something that looks remotely like a vacation, ten thousand responsibilities pop up.
So next week, I am going to Napa with three very dear high school friends. (YAY!) I am taking off three days to do so. I haven’t taken an actual, honest-to-goodness full day off since… Um… Hmmm… My wedding? Which was December of 2008. Yes, I’ve taken “vacations.” But up till now, those vacations have been spent either a) working full time or b) working part time.
So, of course, now that I am going to take some Real Live Days Off, I have about 30 projects going on. (Which I am DEEPLY thankful for, please don’t get me wrong.) Plus, my in-laws will be here. And I am giving a presentation in a couple of weeks and need to prepare for that.
So. A lot going on.
To top it all off, my husband will be done with stupid night float the day that I leave for Napa.
* I hate night float more than anything in the whole wide world.
* Except maybe food poisoning.
* Nope. Night float wins.
* Did you notice up there when I said I was giving a presentation? Me. The girl who blushes during BOOK CLUB when I have to give my totally un-scientific opinions on the book we just read.
Now, I want to be clear on something. If you hire me to give a presentation, I will give a kick ass presentation. It will be well-researched. It will be clear. It will be well-organized. And it will not exceed the given time limit. (There’s nothing worse than an overly lengthy presentation.) (EXCEPT FOR NIGHT FLOAT.)
But. I hate speaking in front of people.
That doesn’t mean that I can’t do it. I mean, I was a teacher for three full semesters, people. Of college students. Who were about three years younger than I was. (Read: Intimidating and totally not intimidated by me.)
But I’m scared. Hopefully my blushing and shaky voice will subside after the first five minutes.
* If you are somehow NOT at BlogHer, please leave me a detailed comment or post on your blog. Because I am bored and I feel like there’s nothing to read. Whine whine whine.
* My stomach just gave an ominous gurgle. So I’m outtie 5000.
* * * * *
There you have it Internet! Happy Friday!