Does it ever happen to you that if one area of your life gets out of balance, the rest of your life totally crashes and burns?
It’s like I can only excel in one thing at a time. Work: great. Keeping the apartment from turning into a trash heap: FAIL.
Keep in mind that my usually very helpful husband is working nights, and has not been pitching in as much as I would like. (Although today he did the dishes and hand washed our brand new Brita. Thank you sweetie!)
(I keep telling myself it is more important that he get some sleep than help me fold laundry. He can’t say, “Oh, sorry I mixed up your medications, buddy… But I had to help my wife wash the dishes.”)
The other night, I finished a freelance project at 10:30, started on another that went until midnight or so, then took a look around our apartment and saw mayhem. A still-full suitcase. Mail piled up on the table. Piles of laundry lining the hallway. Clean scrubs in a heap on the couch. Clean blouses hung over the backs of chairs. Dishes stacked up on the counter.
I determined to tackle the mess before I climbed into bed. I dumped a chili pot in the sink, squirted it with soap, and turned on the water to soak it. Then I went into the laundry room, started the water, dumped in some colors. Then I went into the bedroom to hang some of the clean laundry in the closet.
When I came out, I heard a weird splashing noise.
I peered into the kitchen… and what did I see?
The faucet was trained on the side of the chili pot, and water was spraying all over our counter. And cascading onto the floor. Which was already covered in about 1/8 inch of water.
Let’s do some math.
Miniature kitchen + 138 bajillion gallons of water + oblivious failure of Functioning As a Normal Human = DELUGE OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS
The only good news about this whole mess is that I got to it before the floor had reached The Point of No Return – as in, before the flood had trickled under the fridge and stove. (No way am I strong enough to move giant appliances.) (Also: Spiders.)
But water covered the rest of the floor. It had trickled into the drawers on the sink side of the kitchen and into the floor-level cupboards. It drenched our never-been-used Kitchen-Aid Mixer and filled up our food processor. It soaked cardboard boxes of trash bags and Zip-Loc bags and our fire extinguisher. I had to remove all of our cleaning solutions and boxes and appliances from the cupboards and line them up on the counters overnight. I wiped out the cupboards and drawers and threw away a pile of completely soaked paper napkins.
Hence all the towels.
Clearly, I wasn’t in bed until two-ish.
If this is the universe telling me I need to clean my floors more often? I GET IT.
* * * BREAKING UPDATE * * *
It’s raining here, and I thought lentil soup would make for a delightful rainy-day lunch. I already had little containers of diced onions, celery, carrot, and garlic pre-cut in the fridge. So I knew it would be super easy to throw them all into a big pot, add spices, chicken stock, and lentils, and have fresh, hot soup ready for me during my lunch break.
And then this happened:
Why yes, those are diced onions. ALL OVER MY FRESHLY-CLEANED, POST-FLOOD FLOOR. Here is a poorly-photographed close-up:
Why, Universe, WHY?
PLEASE STOP EFFING WITH ME!