For a reeeeeeaaaaalllllllly long time, I thought I didn’t like avocadoes.
I am not sure where this belief came from… But it was pretty pervasive. So insidious, in fact, that I doubt if I even tasted guacamole until I got to college. Perhaps not until after college.
I don’t exactly remember first trying guacamole. But I do remember that once I had that first taste, I was addicted.
Needless to say, I will need many years of therapy to recover from all those years I lived without guacamole.
The therapy begins with Much Eating of Guac.
Today, I am going to share with you my personal recipe for The Best Guacamole Ever – complete with uber-helpful photos! This may be the only characteristic I share with Rachael Ray, but I am not a precise type of person. So you can feel free to adjust things to taste. Tasting is good.
Start with a few key ingredients: Limes, avocadoes, jalapenos, garlic, onion, and cilantro. Some people like tomatoes in their guac. I spit on those people. (Okay – not really. My husband is one of those people.)
Is there anything more beautiful than a bowl full of (freshly washed) limes and avocadoes?
First, peel the garlic. I hate this part. My husband likes to smash the cloves so the skin comes off… but that’s too messy for my taste. I cut off the hard ends and then peel off the skin with my fingers.
Then sprinkle a little salt on your garlic. I don’t know why I do it. But I do it.
Set the garlic aside and grab a jalapeno. They are so fat and juicy in the summer! When you pick one out, make sure there are no holes in it. Otherwise, you will hatch a weird Mexican caterpillar onto your clean kitchen counter and you won’t be able to eat a jalapeno for six months. NOT THAT I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE.
After washing your hole-free jalapeno, chop it into tiny pieces. I keep all the membranes and seeds because I am brave.
If you’re not as brave as I am, don’t worry. I still love you. Just remove the seeds and membranes before dicing.
Then take your onion and dice it finely. For guacamole, I use red onion. It’s a powerful onion with a lovely pop of color.
I love a finely diced onion, don’t you?
No? Just me?
Okay then.
Put the jalapeno and the onion into whatever lidded bowl/dish you’ll use for the guac. Don’t they look pretty, playing there together?
Grab a lime. You should have lots ‘o limes for this recipe. This guac is limeriffic.
Then grab a microplane. You have one, right? If not – hie thee to a cookery story!
Zest the lime. I don’t know how to do this the “right” way, but I think it involves avoiding the bitter white pith of the lime.
Yes, I said “pith.”
Weird things stick in your craw, don’t they?
Now you should have a little skiff of lime zest. Add it to your jalapenos and onions.
If you want to add tomatoes at this point, go ahead.
I’ll look away.
Ooh look! A butterfly!
Then you squish your garlic.
I like my guac garlicky. But a little goes a loooong way.
Add the squishies to the jalapeno, onion, and lime zest.
Now it’s avocado time!
I use three medium sized avocados, usually. That makes for a decent bowl of guac. I’d say… um… four cups? Or something?
That amount of guacamole lasts about five hours around here.
DON’T JUDGE.
Cut it in half, length-wise, around the pit. Turn the halves away from each other and tada! The avocado will open like so.
You can use a very big, sharp knife to get the pit out. Just hack the pit in the middle. The knife blade will stick in it. You just turn the knife blade and the pit will pop right out. I have had this work exactly three times ever. Then use a big spoon to scoop the avocado out of its little black nubbly home.
Before you make a single cut, grab a lime. Squeeze it all over the avocado – on both sides.
I don’t know if this actually does anything, but I like to think it prevents The Browning. And nothing goes better with avocado than lime.
Then sprinkle your limed avocado with salt and pepper.
Now DICE!
Mmmmm…. Avocado.
Add your avocado to the other chopped ingredients. Shower the mixture with more fresh-squeezed lime juice.
You really can’t have too much lime juice. Well, unless you hate lime juice. In which case I’m guessing you stopped reading long ago. Unless you like to read about things you hate because you are a masochist. What do I know?
Now it’s time for the cilantro.
I know cilantro is a polarizing topic. People either love it or hate it. To some segment of the population, it tastes like soap. To the rest of us, it is an aromatic and tasty delight.
Grab some cilantro. (WASHED – this stuff gets dirty when it’s growing… in the dirt.) Remove the leaves and put them on your cutting board.
Then roughly chop the cilantro. Or finely. Whatever floats your boat.
Roughly-chopped cilantro doesn’t make for a very pretty photograph. So look at this one instead.
Add your cilantro to the guacamole. Stir. Taste to see if you need more salt and pepper. If you need more salt and pepper, you know what to do!
Now, I am fully aware that some people like smooth guacamole. Me, I’m a chunky guacamole type of gal. But if you want it smooth, then I suggest either food processing it or smushing it with some sort of smushing device.
Why yes, that IS the technical term. Thank you for asking.
Guacamole gets better with time. But if you can’t wait, put a big dollop of guac into a serving dish.
Or into one of the sad little scooped-out avocado hulls for a photo op.
If you don’t eat it all in one go – and really, I will NOT judge you if you do – you can put it in the fridge for safe-keeping.
I recommend disguising it with something healthy, like lettuce. That will keep the riff-raff out.
WAIT! Before you put the guacamole in the fridge, you must take Anti-Browning Measures.
Step One: Spread the guac into a smooth surface. Then squeeze lime juice all over the top of it. I really think this helps prevent The Browning. Even better than Step Two. But I do Step Two anyway.
Step Two: Cover the guacamole with cling wrap. You need to start in the middle of the dish and work your way out toward the edges to make sure you’re getting as much air out of the guac as possible. Then put the lid on.
Now your guacamole is ready and waiting for you to enjoy it.
This guacamole is not only delicious… it is extremely versatile. You can eat it plain. You can put it on chips. Burritos. Fish tacos. Beef tacos. Nachos. Veggie sticks. Hell, put it on your face if you want. (Though you may want to skip the jalapenos if you do that.)
But once you try it, please report back. And let me know how completely indebted to me you will be for the rest of your life.
* * * * *
Mrs. Doctor’s Best Ever Guacamole
Ingredients:
3 medium-sized avocados, ripe (they should give slightly when you squeeze them)
3 limes
Zest of one lime
1/8 cup fresh cilantro leaves, stems removed
3-4 cloves garlic, pressed
½ large jalapeno, diced
1/8 cup red onion, diced
Tomatoes (optional)
Salt and pepper, to taste
Directions:
1. Dice jalapeno, onion, and tomato. Combine in bowl with lime zest and pressed garlic.
2. Coat avocado halves in fresh-squeeze lime juice; dice and add to bowl.
3. Roughly chop cilantro; add to bowl.
4. Squeeze remaining limes into bowl; stir.
5. Add salt and pepper to taste.
6. Serve immediately or cover with a layer of lime juice and cling wrap to refrigerate.
I’m obsessed with guac! Def gonna try this recipe – I typically stick to a simple recipe with only avocado, lime juice, and lots of salt. But since I’m generally BFF’s with any sort of food, I know I’ll love your chunkier version, too.
And yes, I do love a diced up onion. You know that new Santoku knife my hub got me for Mother’s Day? That mother is SHARP! Totally biffed my thumb. Guess I was used to a craptastic dull knife. But now? Dicing up onions (or anything, for that matter) is like butta. So, so delightful.
Anyway, thanks for sharing 🙂 And you never know, if I love it so much, I just might spread it on my face.
Good knives make all the difference! But I have definitely had some close calls with the knife and my fingers.
I don’t know if I’ve ever commented on your blog before (even though I’ve read the entire archives), but here I go.
I LOVE GUAC!! I also didn’t try it until too late in life, probably senior year of HS-ish. It is delicious and your recipe looks so mouth watering that I want to make some tonight. except I don’t have avocados. or red onion. or limes. or cilantro. Lacking these necesities may make go to the store, which I hate. But I might brave it just for the guac.
P.S- I think you salt the garlic so that it mushes up better. Once you salt it you should be able to make a garlic paste with the side of your knife. Also, since you have a microplane, did you ever think of grating the garlic into the guac (I know, the horror! and I’m not that clever, I just watch too much Rachael Ray). Anyways, the grating of garlic ensures it’s all tiny pieces in there. Just a thought.
AHA! Yes, that is exactly why I salt the garlic! I had just forgotten.
I have definitely used my microplane for garlic in the past, but I always end up with sad little garlic nubs that I can’t grate without grating my fingers. So unless the press is dirty, I use that.
This looks perfect for warm summer afternoons on the porch! Plus, it may be one of Rob’s favorite foods so I’ll be sure to try this out 🙂
I adore avocados and could eat guacamole every day! I love your tips on how to keep it from going brown – my mom puts pico de gallo on top of hers but sometimes I want the guacamole without the tomato topping.
We are kindred spirits. I always thought I hated avocado until I met my husband. Now we go through about four a week.
I read somewhere that if you stick the avocado pit back in the guac, then it won’t turn brown, but I’ve never tried it.
I heard that too. It’s a lie! a bold-faced lie!
I love guacamole. I eat it with taco, tortilla, corn chips, and even spread in sandwiches. This really looks like the best guacamole, it’s look fresh, healthy and delicious.
Gawd I love guacamole. Don’t throw things, but I am a tomato lover, too 🙂
Sounds deeeeelicious! I like guac both with and without tomatoes.
And I would like you to know that I just received An Education. For the last two-ish years, I’ve/we’ve eaten about two avocados a week, usually just sliced up in tacos or whatever. But apparently the way I was cutting and depitting the avocados was….wrong. Stupid, maybe even. I’d describe it here but I don’t know how! Anyway. You do it a Very Logical Way that makes me feel a wee bit silly for never thinking of it! Thanks for making me just a little smarter!
Well now I’m curious! I need a step by step.
And I’m sure there are multiple ways to cut an avocado. As long as you get the meat out, how can you be doing it wrong?
I love avocados and green limes. Must try this guacamole dish at the weekend;-)
That looks delicious! I got some fresh avocados, and my first attempt at cutting one was just pathetic. I ended up googling “how to cut an avocado.” The second attempt was better but still not so good. Those suckers are hard to cut!
Great recipe and it really makes me hungry for some Mexican….
I too didn’t realize until my early 20’s that I really love avocados. My favorite place for them to be is on my sandwhich though. Hmmm… so full of creamy goodness!
As for browning – I’m sure all of the added lime juice is more than enough. Lol, unless you just really love lime juice. I use lemon in my guac though. 🙂
Neither of my parents are avocado fans, so it really wasn’t until I left home that I tried it. And now? I am such a fan. YUUUUM.
What is it with everyone having avocado-fear until they are 20 years old?? I was the same way. Think it was some kind of diabolical plot on the part of our parents to keep all the guacamole to themselves?
WE ARE ON TO YOU NOW, PARENTS!
Anyway, thanks for an informative post. =) I’ll have to try your guac recipe soon, whenever I can pry an avocado away from the boyfriend’s hands… because he immediately hoards them all when they come into our house.
P.S. I LOVE the term ‘smushing device.’ I’m putting it into regular use in my kitchen. =)
Hahaha – it’s totally a huge parental conspiracy!
I LOVE Guac and your recipe looks freaking fantastic!! OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!! And your random butterfly and flower picture crack me up 🙂
Mmmm… I think I am going to make some this weekend!
Your writing style is hilarious!
I say “Don’t judge” all the time lol.
I’ve never had guac but u make me want to try it.
~Jill
http://www.lifeaftercollege3.blogspot.com
I have 5 or 6 ripe avocados from my mom’s tree waiting on my counter. I might try this recipe tonight! Mmmm.
Chunky guac lovers unite!
BTW, if you don’t want to dirty your cutting board, you can cut up my avocado while it’s still in its shell. I do a little cross-hatch pattern with the knife and then scoop it out with a soup spoon. If your cutting board’s already dirty, though, then carry on as usual. I do the cutting-in-shell if I want straight-up diced avocado to add to something, not necessarily when I’m making guacamole.
Genius. Pure genius.
Delicious and inspiring!
Even though this makes my recipe looks downright crude (I just mash everything with a fork!), I’m going to try it whenever I manage to procure a few more ‘cados.
I need to go make guacamole. Right now.
SO TOTALLY SAVING THIS RECIPE!
Can you believe I have never made guac before in my life?
But I love it- maybe I’ll give it a try this weekend. Yum!
This post made me laugh…I love how it is written, and your photos are great! I cannot eat guac. The last two times I did eat it, I was laid out for hours with stomach pains. Like, worse than labor. And I’ve had three children naturally.
But…if I ever did make it and eat it, this is the recipe I would try!
Yum! I’m definitely bookmarking this to make soon!
Guacamole is one of my favorite things in the whole world! However, I’ve never attempted to make it on my own. This recipe sounds easy and so delicious. I’ll have to try it and report back. I can’t believe you lived without it for so long! Yes, a lot of therapy (aka eating mass amounts of it) is necessary. 😉
xo
Valerie
Thank you thank you THANK YOU for finally giving the world a tasty guac recipe with no tomatoes. As a life-long tomato-hater-but-avocado-lover I have been searching high and low for this. My life is complete.
All joking aside, this sounds really yummy! My parents are BOTH doctors which led to…an interesting childhood. I survived. Ish. I’m sure we can relate in weird ways that only those who live closely with doctors can…
This is totally making me wish I liked guac!
That looks soooooooooooooooo tasty! I also like it when it has tomatoes in it!
Ah! I’m so glad you posted this. I’m always looking for delish guac recipes.. as it is my favorite thing to eat EVER, and the only way to get good stuff is to go to Mexico, or make it youself (I prefer the first option but the second option is a little cheaper). I’ll have to try this.
I just did a recipe post as well.. unfortunately mine is not serious, because I eat snacks as meals on a regular basis. It’s cooking posts like these that make me feel bad about my life. Hehe. Kidding.. mostly.
Thanks for sharing.
Ah, I love guacamole, and especially those photos!
we love guac over here, but had yet to find a recipie….we might be making this tonight. and then I will be indebted to you…no idea what I will be able to do for ya…haha.
“Oh look, a butterfly.”
Made the guac tonight and it was DELICIOUS!!! Hubby kept trying to insist on tomatoes and when I told him that I would rat him out, he backed down….i caught him putting them in hiw own bowl however. When will they learn? Just thought I would let you know that your recipe was a hit here and is going in my (very tiny) recipe box!
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