Is anyone else watching that new(ish) show on E! called Pretty Wild?
Melissa wrote a post about it the other day (and by “wrote about it” I mean she briefly mentioned it in a long list of other TV shows and I latched onto it like a tiger on a T-bone steak) and I have been thinking about it.
Because it is effing brilliant reality television programming.
It’s not brilliant because it’s about a new concept or it’s got life-enhancing topics or thought-provoking situations or even sympathetic characters – um, I mean, people. They are real people. (Ish.)
It’s brilliant because I can find pretty much nothing redeeming about it and yet I find myself sucked in to the Pretty Wild vortex any time it’s on TV.
I am pretty sure it’s supposed to be the next Keeping Up with the Kardashians (Three dark-haired daughters, one kooky mom, lots of craziness)… But it tends to lack the wit and charm and – dare I say – likability factor that the Kardashian girls possess.
As far as I can tell, Pretty Wild is about three main things:
1. Boobs. The girls on this show (who can’t really be over 18, can they? I mean, they must be… but… seems a little questionable) seem to always be wearing very low-cut cleavage-baring shirts… or actually removing their shirts and flinging the boobage all over the place. Which, hey. I’m fine with that. Because boobs are awesome. It’s just that I was pretty sure I didn’t flip the channel to Skinamax or the Playboy Channel. So the boobs are a little startling, is all I’m saying.
[Side Note: I have been known to actually pause this show and call out to my husband just so he can see the boobs. (To his credit, he kind of stared at me like I lost my mind and said, “You called me out here to see this?” But then he looked at the boobs. Because he is a red-blooded dude who likes boobs.)]
What I’m trying to say is that this show seems like it may be making some sort of political commentary on women’s rights, or, at the very least, the Necessary Eradication of the Brassiere.
Ha. Hahaha. Hahahahahahahahahahaha.
2. Crying. Pretty much every episode I’ve seen has involved some sort of violent crying jag. In fact, one of the three virtually-identical brunette girls seems to be on the show solely for the purpose of crying hysterically. And there’s a lot for these chicks to cry about. Everything from misplacing your dog in the backyard… to your mom who gave you up for adoption wanting to reconnect with you… to your family moving to LA so the paparazzi don’t bug the neighbors… to your sisters turning your sweet sixteen into a “whore party”… Admit it. If you had to go through any of that, you’d cry too. (Side Note: Why do these people merit any sort of attention from the paparazzi? Who are they?)
3. Ryan Cabrera. I first learned about Ryan C back in the days when Ashlee Simpson had her own show. Internet, this guy sure gets around. (Allegedly.) And he seems like a World-Class Douche, if you ask me. (Ryan, I am sure this purely a case of Overzealous Editing.) But he’s in this series now, hanging out with Braless Wonder #1 and acting all sorts of douchey.
Okay, so maybe Ryan Cabrera isn’t actually a main figure in this show. But I couldn’t think of anything else it’s about besides boobs and crying, so I thought I’d throw ol’ Ryan and his hair porcupine into the mix.
Now, lest you think that these girls and their boobs are just flying around unsupervised, there’s also a “mother” figure in this show… And I use the term “mother” loosely because, while she tries to soothe whichever of the girls is currently crying, she felt that jeans were appropriate attire for her daughter who was appearing as a defendant in court. JEANS. In COURT. Where you are trying to appear sympathetic and mature and innocent.
Now, I am not trying to criticize this person’s mothering skillz, because a) I am not a mother so I have no ground to stand on and b) The Afore-Mentioned Overzealous Editing which I am SURE makes everyone into crazy caricatures of themselves…
But she really seems like her main duties are to console the criers and stir the pot and occasionally spout platitudes and new-agey pronouncements like “And so it is!” When really, she should be telling her kids to stop partying and for god’s sakes PUT ON A BRA.
*******
If you are watching this show, please let me know your thoughts. On boobs, crying, Cabrera, or anything else.
If you are not watching this show, stay away: It will eat your brains.
Hmmmmmmmm, I’ve never even heard of this show!! But I do love juicy over the top reality tv – I may have to check it out and allow my brains to be eaten 🙂
hahahaha. I love this. Unfortunately, the lack of cable has not exposed me to this fascinating bit of reality tv, but I am still stuck on Bravo, so it might be a while before I make it back to E!
But, I love that you love this show and the boobage. I must see it!
Ha, I know this show is pure ridiculousness, but I can’t look away. I was so bothered by the jeans in court thing, I couldn’t comprehend how all those adults could let that happen. I also am baffled that Tess and the one who stole the stuff from the celebs looks so much a like (I mean are they twins) yet Tess is apparently adopted. Puzzling.
Their mom has crazy eyes! And what are they learning in homeschool? I have no idea!
I can’t watch anymore though because for some reason my E channel has no sound, boo.
Totally crazy eyes. Like a cross between Ramona on RHNYC and the guidance counselor on Glee with a dash of the Runaway Bride thrown in for good measure.
I too am addicted and the fiance cannot understand for any reason why. I think it’s hilarious. And yes…jeans in court is ridiculous…and going out of the country when your lawyer tells you not to is also a problem.haha
Let’s see what happens this week…and we will be drawn to the train wreck together! haha
So clearly you saw it last night… That crazy phone message Alexis left for the Vanity Fair chick was SO BIZARRE. [The editing made it look like] she was mad about her footwear being mistaken for something else!
And her crazy-eyed mom yelling “YOU LIED” into the voicemail behind her? SO WEIRD. And crazy. And awesome.
Also – how creepy was “Javier”????
” I have been known to actually pause this show and call out to my husband just so he can see the boobs.”
— Why do you do this ? I’ve done this before too, so I’m curious.
I honestly don’t know… I guess because he likes that particular part of the female anatomy? Maybe because I don’t want him to be looking at other women secretly, and I feel like I have some control over his “admiring eye” if I participate?
Why do you do it? I’m curious too. 🙂
It’s had a wonderful unanticipated consequence: He now watched the show with me. And it’s so much more fun to watch crap TV when you have someone to mock it with!
Thanks for answering — I think that I do it so that Jer knows I know that he look,, and I’m not jealous because hey, I’m looking too! You explaned it way more articulately!
CLEARLY I haven’t seen this show, because if I did – I would be writing a review. And it is totally something that I would get sucked into also!! hahaha… Ryan C… he sure does get around!
And WHY does he get around? I don’t see it, Ams, I don’t see it!
Dude, jeans in court? Is she insane?
I vacillate between believing she is “insane,” “high,” and “dumb.” Perhaps she is all three.
I have to admit I agree with you, I have seen a few episodes, but these girls and their mom are so over the top, that it’s a little too much for even my trashy reality TV palette! I mean she’s seriously homeschooling them and making up a curriculum based on the book “The Secret”Seriously? they’re a HOT MESS!
I love that you kept track of what you wore in high school… I actually have to say that in high school I just wasn’t that into clothes… I don’t know I just didn’t care that much… unless of course I was trying to find the ‘PERFECT’ dress for homecoming… then I was all about clothes! But I’ve heard lots of bloggers say they did something similar….
I’ve only been doing the experiment since Friday but so far it’s fun and actually makes my life easier, b/c I’ve laid out my clothes for the first two weeks… so I just have to wake up and get dressed, no standing in the closet for twenty minutes thinking “I have nothing to wear.”
I don’t watch this show… lol. I really only watch like two or three shows, and I kind of grown when my husband tells me the DVR is full so we need to watch something. I would much rather be reading blogs and wasting my time else where. lol.
I definitely don’t watch this cause I’m totally not ok with boobage on TV and I would NEVER call Q into see another woman’s breasts. Call me a prude, but my boobs best be enough thank you much. I do watch Dancing with the Stars though and THAT is scandalous enough for me!
You are adorable. 🙂 I am pretty sure my attitude about is not shared by many. But I think, he’s going to look anyway, so I might as well be okay with it. See my response to K above. (However, I am not always okay with it. Complicated, I know.) (Also, while I am flexible about this one small aspect of stereo-typical male behavior, I am not flexible about others.)
And I don’t think I am okay with this show either… Especially since the girls flaunting the boobage? Are barely “of age,” from what I can tell. So it’s awfully exploitative. Yet I still watch it. I find it all very fascinating in a train wreck sort of way.
I am not a DWTS watcher, but I have tuned in on occasion, and those outfits! Sometimes I wonder why they bother with the semblance of clothing. If you’re only going to wear a few pieces of string and a couple of sequins, you might as well just go naked!
I thought Cabrera was with Audrina from The Hills? Don’t ask me why I know that.
He DOES get around! Wow.
The paparazzi are “following” them because the eldest was part of the group that was robbing celebrities’ homes. Vanity Fair did a fantastic article on it (in their hollywood issue this year) and they don’t paint this family in a positive light – and it sounds like she is on camera robbing homes. Crazy!
I find this show alternately terrifying and incredible.
Hahaha hilarious!!! I also find myself getting sucked into this trash bag of a show as well. These little sluts make me mad and I want to bop them on the head with a rubber hammer, yet I do not change the channel. All the crying.. dear Lord.
I am a self-professed Reality Show Junkie, but every time the commercial for this show comes on, I say to my husband, “I’m not recording it, I’m not recording it…”
I refuse to get sucked in! I believe you when you say your brains will be eaten.
p.s. Ryan C…I just don’t see it. Why him?
Oh my gosh I am in L-O-V-E with this show. I randomly came across it just a week or two ago, and I’m loving it! The girls look like they are 14 (ok, 16 MAX) and I love how ridiculous some of their shenanigans are. Like when the dog went missing, the Vanity Fair article which lead to EXTREME screaming/hysterical crying. ahhhhh hollywood.
I just love it because not only do I get many laughs out of it, but it also leaves me feeling MUCH better about my life 😉
I don’t know why I watch this show, but I do. The BEST scene was when she was trying to leave a message for the Vanity Fair writer and her mom kept screaming in the background. LOVED it.
Definitely not as good as Keeping up with the Kardashians.
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