Is anyone else watching that new(ish) show on E! called Pretty Wild?
Melissa wrote a post about it the other day (and by “wrote about it” I mean she briefly mentioned it in a long list of other TV shows and I latched onto it like a tiger on a T-bone steak) and I have been thinking about it.
Because it is effing brilliant reality television programming.
It’s not brilliant because it’s about a new concept or it’s got life-enhancing topics or thought-provoking situations or even sympathetic characters – um, I mean, people. They are real people. (Ish.)
It’s brilliant because I can find pretty much nothing redeeming about it and yet I find myself sucked in to the Pretty Wild vortex any time it’s on TV.
I am pretty sure it’s supposed to be the next Keeping Up with the Kardashians (Three dark-haired daughters, one kooky mom, lots of craziness)… But it tends to lack the wit and charm and – dare I say – likability factor that the Kardashian girls possess.
As far as I can tell, Pretty Wild is about three main things:
1. Boobs. The girls on this show (who can’t really be over 18, can they? I mean, they must be… but… seems a little questionable) seem to always be wearing very low-cut cleavage-baring shirts… or actually removing their shirts and flinging the boobage all over the place. Which, hey. I’m fine with that. Because boobs are awesome. It’s just that I was pretty sure I didn’t flip the channel to Skinamax or the Playboy Channel. So the boobs are a little startling, is all I’m saying.
[Side Note: I have been known to actually pause this show and call out to my husband just so he can see the boobs. (To his credit, he kind of stared at me like I lost my mind and said, “You called me out here to see this?” But then he looked at the boobs. Because he is a red-blooded dude who likes boobs.)]
What I’m trying to say is that this show seems like it may be making some sort of political commentary on women’s rights, or, at the very least, the Necessary Eradication of the Brassiere.
Ha. Hahaha. Hahahahahahahahahahaha.
2. Crying. Pretty much every episode I’ve seen has involved some sort of violent crying jag. In fact, one of the three virtually-identical brunette girls seems to be on the show solely for the purpose of crying hysterically. And there’s a lot for these chicks to cry about. Everything from misplacing your dog in the backyard… to your mom who gave you up for adoption wanting to reconnect with you… to your family moving to LA so the paparazzi don’t bug the neighbors… to your sisters turning your sweet sixteen into a “whore party”… Admit it. If you had to go through any of that, you’d cry too. (Side Note: Why do these people merit any sort of attention from the paparazzi? Who are they?)
3. Ryan Cabrera. I first learned about Ryan C back in the days when Ashlee Simpson had her own show. Internet, this guy sure gets around. (Allegedly.) And he seems like a World-Class Douche, if you ask me. (Ryan, I am sure this purely a case of Overzealous Editing.) But he’s in this series now, hanging out with Braless Wonder #1 and acting all sorts of douchey.
Okay, so maybe Ryan Cabrera isn’t actually a main figure in this show. But I couldn’t think of anything else it’s about besides boobs and crying, so I thought I’d throw ol’ Ryan and his hair porcupine into the mix.
Now, lest you think that these girls and their boobs are just flying around unsupervised, there’s also a “mother” figure in this show… And I use the term “mother” loosely because, while she tries to soothe whichever of the girls is currently crying, she felt that jeans were appropriate attire for her daughter who was appearing as a defendant in court. JEANS. In COURT. Where you are trying to appear sympathetic and mature and innocent.
Now, I am not trying to criticize this person’s mothering skillz, because a) I am not a mother so I have no ground to stand on and b) The Afore-Mentioned Overzealous Editing which I am SURE makes everyone into crazy caricatures of themselves…
But she really seems like her main duties are to console the criers and stir the pot and occasionally spout platitudes and new-agey pronouncements like “And so it is!” When really, she should be telling her kids to stop partying and for god’s sakes PUT ON A BRA.
If you are watching this show, please let me know your thoughts. On boobs, crying, Cabrera, or anything else.
If you are not watching this show, stay away: It will eat your brains.