Dear Future Mrs. Doctor –
At this point, as I’m sure you remember, I’m no expert at marriage. I’ve only been married for seven months! But I do have the very good fortune of having happily married parents (37 years!) and happily married in-laws (37 years!) and happily married friends and family members to influence me and Husband, to offer us advice and support and a steady supply of “dos and don’ts.”
Anyway, if you’re reading this from the future, I hope life is going great. I hope you’re not struggling too hard with the whole sharing-Husband-with-the-patients thing. (It sounds awful, but I haven’t had to deal with it yet.)
Anyway, I wanted to do a series of posts about what it takes – at least these days – to make our marriage work.
Because while it may not seem like work these days, I am preparing myself for the inevitable days (and maybe even years) where it will be hard. And heartbreaking. And frustrating as hell.
Maybe you’re reading this from a point where you can say, yes, it has been hell. And maybe you’ll shake your head in wonder at how dumb and naïve you were as a newlywed. Or maybe you’ll say, yes, those things still work, and here are some other suggestions I’ve learned along the way.
Whatever you’re feeling as you read this, I know that you love Husband with all your heart. I know that every day – in the moments when you hold him tight and think “boy am I lucky” … and the ones where you can’t do another load of laundry or handle another on-call day and think “I can’t do this anymore” – you remind yourself of the vow you made to stick beside this man until death parts you. And I know that every day you work at being a better partner, a better friend, and a better wife.
If anything, maybe these “rules for a happy marriage” will make you think of all the good times you and Husband have shared. Or remind you of a simpler time. Or at the very least, give you a good laugh.
Just know that I’m pulling for you and your happiness.
Consider other people’s advice. If it works for someone else, it might work for you. It might not… but it’s worth a try.
But for Pete’s sake, don’t take it as gospel until you’ve tried it out for yourself.