You know how sometimes you read/see/hear something that reminds you of something ELSE that you meant to bring up but you forgot to?
Well, Swistle’s post yesterday about Things That Symbolize Being Elderly triggered a memory that I wanted to discuss with you.
One of the things Swistle would like to maintain forever is “a general policy of not making things harder for the mothers by acting affronted when children exist in public.”
That made me think of my grad school graduation.
(You: Uhhh… what?
Me: Hold your horses, I’ll connect the dots.)
My graduate program was teeny. Five people, I think. (Man, you’d think grad school would have made a bigger impression. I can remember all the people in my program – from the year before and my year and the year after. But I can’t for the life of me remember who was in which year.)
So the graduation ceremony was equally teeny. Five people (I’m going with five) and their families, some of the other students in the program, a few professors, and maybe a few friends or so.
And the ceremony was all about the five of us who were graduating. I mean, obviously.
We had a nice luncheon with a buffet and tables set all prettily and our professors (both of them) and our program director each said something nice and we each got up and read a poem. And then there were a few awards.
There was a program for the ceremony, but it was very loose. And it became clear in the first 10 minutes that the ceremony was not adhering to any particular order, certainly not the order laid out in the program.
One of the guys in my program – let’s call him Chris, which is not his name – was married and had three kids – two toddler boys and a baby girl. Chris’s wife and parents and the three kids were all there.
The boys were hyped up on the cupcakes our program office manager made for the occasion and they were kind of… giddy. But I would still say they were being GOOD, you know? They weren’t screaming or fighting or anything. They were just playing around with some trucks or something and with each other and talking at what I suspect is Normal Toddler Volume.
But my grandmother – a dear, kind woman who flew halfway across the country to see my graduation – was a little… vexed by the kids.
My grandmother is no longer with us, unfortunately, but I remember fondly that she was always very tolerant and kind to small children. However, she was a firm believer in Children Are Seen and Not Heard and also If Children Are Heard They Should Be Whisked from the Room with Great Haste. (I have no trouble with this philosophy. I was raised by people who share this view and I turned out okay.)
(In case you missed it, this is the Dots Connecting I promised earlier on. My elderly grandmother was – sort of, in her typical kindly, un-accusing way – acting as though these children being allowed out in public was an affront to her delicate sensibilities. Which is one of those Traits of the Elderly that Swistle – and I! – hopes to avoid in old age.)
(Okay, perhaps this is a LOOSE connection. But nonetheless, the connection exists in my head.)
Now, Chris’s wife wanted to be there to see her husband get an award. (And he DID get an award!) She was probably very proud of him and possibly (although I am projecting here) relieved that he was done with graduate school and could begin the work of making a living as a poet. (Ha! Poet joke!) (Allow me to explain the poet joke: I don’t know a single poet who makes a living as a poet.) (They MUST exist. But even the poets I know who are Renowned and have attained Critical Acclaim and are Otherwise Awesome, well, they earn a living as professors. I suppose I could be WRONG, of course. I don’t have access to their bank statements or anything. Maybe they are raking in the millions from their writing alone.)
To clamber back to my original topic: Chris’s wife had a right to be there, to support her husband and to see him get an award he’d been working toward for two years of graduate school and perhaps many years beyond that. And their kids, likewise, had a right to be there, since the ceremony was open to families (reasonable extrapolation: not closed to small children). And while I fully support parents who remove screaming children from church/movies/other public events, it seems to me that there’s a Big Difference between a child who’s lost his everloving head and a child who is merely Being a Child and rolling a Tonka Big Wheels merrily over his brother’s face as his brother laughs with glee.
But my dear grandmother felt like the kids were distracting from the ceremony. Which was, well, it was true. I mean, you had to strain a little bit to hear over the kids’ chatter.
She looked at me with her kind blue eyes and an expression of bewilderment and whispered, “Why doesn’t that mom take those children outside?”
I don’t think she was WRONG to ask such a question. True, the children were being rambunctious and perhaps someone (the children’s mom or their one of their grandparents, who were also inattendance) should take them out of the room during the ceremony.
(Of course, one might also suggest that perhaps the kids shouldn’t have attended the ceremony at all, and should have remained at home with a babysitter. But what if Chris’s family didn’t have a babysitter in the budget? And what if Chris really wanted his kids there? And what if the ceremony was only an hour, tops, and it seemed unreasonable and silly to hire a sitter for such a short time? And what if they planned on taking the kids out of the room for the entire time EXCEPT for when Chris got his award, but that plan was thwarted by the poorly organized ceremony program?)
My grandmother beseeched me to say something to Chris’s wife, since I knew her. Or to Chris, since I knew him as well.
But I didn’t. I just… didn’t want to.
I felt like it would be met with guilt and upset and maybe even irritation and resentment. Plus, it wasn’t bothering ME that much – once I got used to the kids’ chattering, it was easy to sort of tune it out. So I just smiled understandingly at my grandmother and squeezed her hand tightly and, after the ceremony, listened to her gentle suggestion that, should I get married and have children someday, perhaps I would strongly consider hiring a babysitter for my kids? Or handing them off to a parent during such an event? Or having kids who are perfectly well-behaved at all times?
This happened years ago, Internet. I haven’t seen – or really even thought of – Chris since then. But I still wonder what the appropriate response was.
I kind of think my response was the appropriate one. But then again, I am a wholly non-confrontational person. So any response where I don’t have to confront people is the one I favor.
Plus, I try to remember that I don’t always know the whole situation.
I mean, maybe Chris’s wife asked Chris’s parents to stay home with the kids… and the parents got offended that THEY would have to miss the ceremony. And maybe Chris’s in-laws were never nice to Chris’s wife and never really approved of her marrying their son, so there was a lot of bad blood between them. So maybe Chris’s wife decided to drag the kids along and keep them in the ceremony the whole time on PRINCIPLE.
Or maybe Chris’s wife had a babysitter all set up and the in-laws scoffed at how RIDICULOUS it would be to pay for a sitter, or made a fuss about how the kids HAD to see their father graduate. So – in the interest of keeping the in-law waters smooth – Chris’s wife gritted her teeth and brought the kids along even though she was super embarrassed that they were being so noisy.
Or maybe Chris’s wife figured that she and Chris knew all the other graduates and that they would welcome the kids and overlook their boisterous chatter.
Or maybe they HAD hired a babysitter, but the sitter got sick/had a job interview/didn’t show or was otherwise unable to sit for the kids at the last minute, so Chris and his wife were forced to bring them even though they didn’t plan to.
Or maybe Chris’s wife was, like many people seem to be, truly oblivious to how her kids were behaving and how their behavior might impact others.
Or maybe she just figured that her little angels should be able to do whatever their little hearts’ desired.
In those last two cases, I would be mad. Because being an oblivious or overly permissive parent to the extent that it affects other people… well, I’m not a big fan of those things.
But in the other cases… You can really start to empathize with poor Chris’s wife, over-tired from being up with the baby and glad that all those years of reading poem drafts have come to something and stressed out from dealing with the in-laws and their demands and stuck in this room with some long-winded speakers, listening to five poems when she doesn’t really LIKE poetry and all she wants is to snap a photo of Chris getting his award and go home.
I just don’t think there’s a reason for me to make a fuss when I don’t know the full story and when all that’s happening is that I have to listen a little more carefully to what’s being said.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t get where my grandmother was coming from. I really believe that, had it been her, she would have a) left the kiddos at home, even if it meant staying home herself or b) sat at the very back of the room to limit the reach of their little voices or c) whisked them out the instant they made a peep, even if they did so in the middle of her husband’s acceptance. I really believe that. I think my own mother would have done the same.
However, that doesn’t change the fact that what I really want to know is:
What would YOU have done, if you were sitting there with Chris’s toddlers whooping it up behind you?
And what would you have WANTED the reaction to be, if you were Chris’s wife?
And, as long as we’re asking questions, what would YOU have done, in Chris’s wife’s case? Would you have brought your kids? Left them with a babysitter? Shoved them into the grandmother’s arms and said, “Here, YOU take them out of the room while I watch MY HUSBAND get his award?” Shrugged your shoulders and allowed your kids to be kids?
Would your answers change based on the situation? (I mean, a kid-friendly Christmas play is different from a graduation ceremony is different from a dinner at a nice restaurant and so on.)
If you recommend a friendly smile and a whispered, “Can you take the kids outside until they quiet down?” I can’t promise that’s what I’ll do in future, but I would like to know.
I absolutely think you did the right thing. Because you don’t know what Chris’s wife was going through or thinking and the best approach is a nice one.
It reminds me of how there are certain people who think it’s appropriate to tell someone publicly that their action is rude. Which is hilarious because it’s rude to tell someone that. So, you’re probably not a rudeness authority in such case.
I stressed about taking my 10 month old to E’s graduation. Fortunately my parents stepped in and took him to a room where they broadcast it in another building due to space limitations. So that was nice. But it’s extremely stressful to be stuck with kids in that situation, at least for me.
I am a babysitter-getter if at all possible. I just don’t like the stress and worrying that I am bothering people. I am a little too politeness-obsessed that way, I think.
In defense of old people everywhere, I LOVE taking my baby to the store in the mornings when the old folks are out. So far no one’s given me a “why doesn’t that baby have SOCKS on?” lecture, but probably only because it’s summer.
I would absolutely have done what you did in that situation. Because I think that telling someone how to discipline their kids is rude and that two rudes do not make a right.
However, having been a mom in noisy situations, I can tell you that is a really hard one. There is an obvious line when the kid is screaming or being bad, but like you said, they were still technically being good at your ceremony. It’s really hard to decide just when the good behavior becomes disruptive. It usually builds a lot more slowly than bad. It’s like “is she being too loud now? How about now? Well, she’s only one degree louder than she was before. How about now?” It’s just kind of a weird thing to have to decide.
Also, I was in church once when a speaker was giving a really emotional talk about her husband dying. And there was this kid in the back who was being just a little too loud and happy. And the woman holding him was getting all these take-him-out looks. And at the end, the speaker walked back and took him because he was HER baby and she had wanted him in there for her talk. Which obviously isn’t the exact same as your situation, but it is a you-never-really-know example.
YES. Two rudes do not make a right. Like you and Jessica said, rudeness doesn’t counteract rudeness.
I’m a baby taker-outer too, and believe that others should do the same in that instance. I also think you did the right thing by NOT saying anything and your grandmother was just being grandmothery. If I was Chris’ wife, I would have left them with a babysitter. Charley is not yet one year old, and so the memories of being a childless adult are still pretty close to the front of my mind, and I remember being annoyed at other people’s kids and don’t want to make people feel the same way about mine. Just because I am now more receptive to loud children before I had them doesn’t mean others are or should be expected to be.
I got way off topic there, sorry. I think I answered the questions.
She wasn’t in the very back of the room? That’s what I would have done with my kids. In fact, I did. My dad got a Distinguished Alumni award from his (and my!) high school a month ago. Pretty much everyone there had known me since *I* was a baby and (supposedly) thought my kids were cute and, being 1 and 3, allowed some leeway. However, we were sitting in the second row and soon as the baby started whining, I whisked him to the back of the room (which was pretty far back). He crawled around happily and I could still see and the ceremony. He didn’t distract people with noise, but I did learn after that the people on stage (about 10) were distracted watching him (oops). Though the only people who mentioned it said it was so fun to watch the little baby to distract from the program going on…and on…and on (there were several awards). I don’t know if it annoyed some people or if the people who didn’t want to watch him could just ignore it.
I don’t necessarily think it was WRONG of her not to move to the back, though. I definitely would have and my husband, who is a stickler for these kind of things, would have taken them out of the room. If HE was getting an award and I didn’t take them out if they were noisy, he would have positively DIED with embarrassment. He’s kind of ridiculous with his ‘my kids should never inconvenience another adult’ thing.
Anyway. I personally am a fan of little kids livening up a dull, dull program. I would not have been offended by these kids. My husband would not have been, either – he’s almost never offended by other people’s children, even though he constantly freaks out about ours offending someone.
I think YOU did the right thing. Whether it was rude to move or not, it definitely would have been rude to say something unless the kids were yelling/fighting/major distractions. Also, I think your grandma passed Swistle’s test, since she didn’t say something to the mother herself.
And, yes, it depends on the situation, but this comment is too long already!
I think my reaction would have been to let them be. And in my brain would have been:
1) Maybe a bit of enjoyment because listening to kids being kids is inherently a bit more fun then any ceremony. I like kids at weddings, for instance, never got the precious “not at MY ceremony!” attitude.
2) Yay! Since having kids I’m always somewhat relieved when it’s NOT MY PROBLEM when they act out (obviously this applies even more if they’re louder). I almost enjoy when someone’s kid is yelling on an airplane, it just makes me feel like I’m living in luxury, just ignoring it and smiling and reading my book.
3) A bit of angst on behalf of the responsible parent who, I’m sure, is probably aware of the problem and wishes there were an obvious way to get them to quiet down and not miss the whole damn ceremony.
In other words, I agree with you. A movie would be different (well, a non-kid-friendly movie) because I’m trying to follow the plot.
Without having all the facts (if there were any to have) I think you did the right thing. Even if she was being rude (which it sounds like her kids were being, kids) it wouldn’t help if someone else was rude (or maybe just spoke without all the info) about the situation. It might have been embarrassing to the family being called out on the fact that their kids were, I don’t know, being kids? Maybe because you were a class of five it felt more like a family gathering and therefore, the kids came with because you were one big (well small) happy college family? I just think it would have dampened the spirit of the day had someone said anything. And honestly, if the kids were really a disruption I think it should fall on someone from the University to privately approach the family and ask them to step out for (insert part) of the program, which was not being followed anyway. Good call! The fact that someone else out there vacillates over something as meticulously as I do is so refreshing. Thanks for not making me feel so all alone!
I wouldn’t have said a thing either. If they were being bad or obnoxiously loud, then I might have said something or given a look to the mother, but I am pretty good about ignoring those sorts of things.
Now I don’t have children, but I think I would be the type to not have brought them in the first place. I have never understood bringing very young children to events that they can’t understand and will only be bored at and will never even remember. If my plan for a babysitter fell through I would keep them in the back and try to keep them quiet. I was raised to be quiet when we were in situations like that. My brother and I colored a lot growing up.
If it were my husband and my kids, I would have had a babysitter. Or, worst case scenario, left the room. Let’s be honest: kids don’t give a shit about their dads winning an award.
If it were someone else, I would have said something if the kids were being disruptive. I can’t tell from your story whether I would have found those particular kids to be disruptive or not. Though at such a small ceremony, when you know the guy pretty well, it would be really awkward to say something to the wife.
Oh, I just love you and your “Ors.” For some reason this one really tickled me: “maybe Chris’s in-laws were never nice to Chris’s wife and never really approved of her marrying their son, so there was a lot of bad blood between them.” You’re right, you absolutely never know.
Had I been in your place, I would have done exactly what you did. If I were the mom and could possibly swing it, I would have left the kids home. If I couldn’t swing it, I’d have had them in the back, and I would have issued dire warnings about the importance of being quiet beforehand. When they ignored those/just couldn’t help themselves, I’d take them out.
I am honestly finding it hard to answer this question, since I think my answer at 0 kids would be different than my answer at 1 kid, which would be different than my answer at 2 kids. At a similar event for my husband (annual Christmas family-friendly office party with possibility of award) I made sure we were close to an exit in the event of potentially disruptive children.
Having a toddler and a baby is kind of exhausting and most of the time I’m just trying to make it through. If my kids are bothering you, they are probably bothering ME (worse), and I’m probably already annoyed at having to drag them out to an event, so even a polite suggestion to leave would probably make me feel even crappier. I accept sympathetic looks if need be, but I’d really prefer if everyone just acted like me and my demon children are invisible.
I think the best point you made was that you never know what is happening with other people. You did the right thing by not saying anything, and it sounds like the kids weren’t being too disruptive.
I am obsessive about this to the point of being crazy with my own kid. I don’t usually mind other people’s children, but it makes me up-the-wall anxious to imagine that my child is disrupting others, so I take her out at the mere hint of a sound. If someone ever had to say something to me, I would DIE. I seriously would be so embarrassed, and I don’t think the situation warranted embarrassing the poor mother when you don’t know what is happening.
There are exceptions – my cousin came to a funeral for our other cousin’s grandfather (not our grandfather, the other side. Confusing, I know). Anyway, she sat RIGHT behind the family with her two kids, a toddler and a baby, who were both extremely loud and disruptive during the EULOGY and she did nothing. She didn’t even seem to notice, despite the fact that MANY people were shooting her looks. If it was HER grandfather, it might have been different, but BOY. That is a moment to say something! (Of course I didn’t, because I am also non-confrontational, but I still get mad to think about it).
I would have done the same thing! Nothing…I would have removed my own toddler if she was being disruptive but you are right that one never knows what that mother was going through and Chris may have, as you suggested, insisted on having the kids there so she sucked it up and went along with it to make him happy- so many reasons this might have happened and I bet she appreciated the fact you didn’t say anything- I would have!
I am on your side! You don’t know their situation and chances are that wifey and Chris were probably a bit uncomfortable with the rambunctious children – at least I would have been if they were mine! I have an almost two year old and we base our decisions on taking her on first, whether or not it is a child appropriate, invited or friendly atmosphere and then secondly, if we do take her (or have no choice but to take her) we enact a child contingency plan. We know that there is only so much we can expect her to do and behave at her little age and we do want to be sensitive to the other guests around so we always try to sit in the back and/or be available to slip out or take care of baby’s needs if there is an issue.
I will say though that after having a bambino and a wild dog, I seem to tune out stuff more than others. I can have a full phone conversation while holding a crying baby with a barking dog in the background and not miss a beat. I guess its a learned trait and my guess is that the parents were probably chill and also able to tune out their kids and focus – not realizing the disturbance that was truly being caused!
I think of ceremonies as being way different than regular out-in-public-ness.
As another ceremony attendee, I would have done what you did: no sense trying to parent another parent. Either Chris’s wife is suffering, or else she’s oblivious, and in neither case would my rebuke-masked-as-suggestion be helpful. If I were a non-necessary attendee (like, attending with my husband for one of his siblings I didn’t really know), and if I knew Chris’s wife well, I might whisper to her did she want me to take the kids on a little walk.
As Chris’s wife, I would have tried to make other arrangements for the kids—or if I couldn’t, or if I wanted to bring them, I would have tried to make them sit still-ish and be quiet-ish—not play at regular volume. I’m not sure what I would have done if they’d refused; I wouldn’t have wanted to miss the ceremony, but I would have been mortified at bothering other people. I think I might have taken them way to the back of the room to communicate that I at least WANTED them not to disturb others.
I think you handled it perfectly. Imagine how she’d have felt if you’d said something — no matter how nice and well-meaning it would have come off. I know I always feel The Judge from people and I only have the one kid. With three?! Oh no.
Basically, I think most people are just doing the best they can and who am I to judge how they handle things?
(This makes it sounds like I don’t judge. I of course judge. But you know, I do try to give people — childless or otherwise — the benefit of the doubt, like for all the possible outcomes you mentioned.)
As for me, I would have made other arrangements for the kids, or at the very least the baby, so that I could watch the two toddlers more closely. Three kids seems like lot to find childcare for, though, so I could see that being a problem…I just have the one and I don’t even have ONE babysitter. But maybe I’m projecting. Maybe others have babysitters out the wazoo! (Clearly not Chris and his wife, though. I assume.)
ANYWAY, I definitely would have parked myself and kids in the back. I also would have asked my in-laws to please be willing to take the toddler boys out if need be. I err on the side of any noise is too much noise when it comes to kids (like your grandma!) and I have removed my child from many an event (okay, usually just, like, brunch, but still.)
There are so many factors and it’s hard no matter what, that’s for sure.
Oh, this is tough. I agree with laura diniwilk and swistle. I think its never a good idea to parent another parent, and will generally either piss off the oblivious parent or make the one who is aware feel even worse.
At this stage of my (not that long) parenting career, I give other parents the benefit of the doubt 99.9% of the time and assume they are trying their hardest. You never know if that kid has a condition that makes good behavior a challenge or an impossibility, even if they look normal.
The only time I say something to another parent is if another child is somehow physically endangering my kid (ie. hitting them) or saying really horrible things (ie. “everyone at school hates you, you’re a dork”) (I went batshit crazy on that one). If someone else’s kid is simply making too much noise and annoying me, I keep my mouth shut.
That is a difficult situation. If it were a bigger ceremony, I would say someone should take the kids out but given that it was a smaller one, I don’t think it’s a big deal that the kids stayed to watch their dad graduate. I think it’s really sweet! As long as they weren’t making a scene, what’s the big deal?
Here via Swistle.
I suppose I’m inexorably rude, because I simply cannot imagine a graduation ceremony involving 5 graduates, a few faculty, a buffet, and cupcakes made by the office manager to be a formal enough or important enough event that children (of the celebrants, for goodness sake) should, in fact, be seen and not heard. I mean, I’m not saying I don’t think it was an important and touching event, but all the same. I’d not endorse outright rudeness or, you know, wailing (whatever the motivation), but if the kids were, in fact, engaged in not-silent but age-appropriate activities then I vote for (a) ignore it or (b) help the mom out (if appropriate, and this is probably a function of the mom and the kids involved as well as the skills of the would-be assistants) by distracting and/or separating the kids (from one another as it sounds like their interactions produced a bunch of the noise in question). That is all.
Definitely would not have said anything because I always feel bad for parents when people are mean to them (like people who yell at parents on airplanes when their baby cries). Like you said, you never know the whole story. If it was me I think I would have tried to quiet them down very sternly and then taken them out side for a brief timeout. I’m not a parent yet so who knows?
When my daughter was five, I took her to an symphony in Philadelphia with her grandmother. We sat her down before we entered the theatre and explained to her that she could make no sound. NO sound. People murmurred in disapproval as we walked in with a small child. Once the concert started, she made no sound. She needed to cough and turned red and buried her face in my chest, but she made no sound. As we left, after the concert, people came up and praised her for her good conduct. I think children try to be good if they are told what to do. Today’s parents don’t want to do that, and they dismiss the discomfort and irritation they cause others. I agree that YOU shouldn’t try to parent someone else’s kids – but I do think the children should have been removed when they couldn’t be quiet.
I have seven nieces and nephews aged five or younger. We are always THAT family when we go somewhere – to church, a restaurant, or park, the three places we inevitably end up going en masse. We explain to the kids what their expected roles are and they frequently get taken out to the car when they are bad, but we do let some behavior slide if it’s an important event.
Frankly, it’s not MY job to discipline other people’s kids. As others have said, it’s kind of a rude behavior on top of a rude behavior. Also, I don’t have kids and it seems like raising them might be a little bit challenging and parents have to pick their battles, so maybe this isn’t a battle worth picking for those parents.
Lastly, I think it is the organizer/host of any event who sets the tone for the behavior of children. If you don’t want kids there, make it clear from the beginning. If kids are welcome, but you notice them being distracting, it is the host who is responsible for telling the parents the behavior is inappropriate, not another guest.
(We visited just briefly with my husband’s grandmother yesterday and as three two year olds were running around, screaming and chasing each other, she shook her head and said, “I can remember my grandmother saying someone’s going to get hurt and thinking she was crazy, but someone’s going to get hurt.” We laughed. But grandma was right – not ten minutes later there was a wail and a man down!)
Yeah you did the right thing, at least in my opinion. The kids were part of their dad’s life when he worked so hard to receive his diploma…probably Moreno than most of the other guests in attendance, so should be able to celebrate his achievement with him, in whatever way they could.
I think there are far too many events that children aren’t allowed at and that’s a shame. Sounds like it should have been a joyous family event, not something that kids should be forced to stay home for. I dislike the trend of no kids at weddings for similar reasons. I love the people who have calm children who say their children would be fine in that situation. My daughter is a wild one, and she’s beginning to mellow but it takes time. I consider myself a pretty strict parent, but that doesn’t mean you can turn your children into something they’re not (nor would you want to.) She will never be a quiet child.
So yes, it’s a parents job to try to make sure their kids are being good. But I only judge parents who do nothing or appear to not care. Because everyone’s child misbehaves at some point, it’s how the parent responds to it that I react to. So if she was off on the other side of the room ignoring her children’s misbehavour while talking to friends? I might say something. But if she’s trying to deal with it then I assume she’s doing the best she can. If children are just being children, then what is the problem? Children should be allowed to participate in these joyous occasions, like weddings and graduations, and I personally think it is we who should adjust our idea that the world should only cater to adults.
In this case, with only 5 people graduating; it doesn’t seem as distruptive as if it were a huge graduating class. Personally, I would have left the children with a sitter. They are not going to remember this event anyway. You could bring them back for the celebration later. I didn’t take our son to weddings or funerals when he was very young because it was too much for him to be expected to sit still and I wanted to be involved with the ceremony without worrying about his behavior.
I think you handled it just fine. It would have been hurtful if you had said something to Chris’s wife….and I expect her In-laws were the ones who insisted the children be there for Daddy’s big day anyway.
Are you sure you want my opinion??? Ha. Anyway, take the kids OUT! Children need to learn how to handle themselves in all sorts of situations. If your kids can’t handle it, then either take them out or don’t bring them. And if children are being disruptive it is a parents job to parent them. I’ve had to take my girls out of all sorts of things and sometimes it sucks. bUT children can play quietly.