In an occasional fit of domesticity, I will do all the laundry in the apartment. Usually this occurs on a weekend when my husband is working or on call. Or when I have run out of underwear and jammies work clothes. I always feel an immense sense of accomplishment once I’ve done this. Usually because it occurs so infrequently that there are piles and piles of clothing to be laundered and folded.
So what do I do to combat this intoxicating pride?
I kick it in the shins, Internet.
You see, despite the fact that I KNOW my husband is unfailingly honest, that he will not lie, especially not when asked a straight out question…
Despite the fact that I KNOW my husband is a little… finicky… about how he folds his clothing*…
Despite the fact that my husband had not said a single word – of praise** or complaint – about all the scrubs and undershirts and jeans I’d washed for him…
Despite the fact that I KNOW any criticism from my husband – no matter how gentle – will completely ruin my day…
Despite the fact that life is going along swimmingly…
I have to go and poke the sleeping lion.
“So, did you see I washed all your clothes the other day?”
“Yes! Thank you!” Husband kisses me.
Leave it alone, Mrs. Doctor…
“Did I do it right this time? Did I fold everything the way you like it?”
“Well, no.”
And then I collapse in a heap of tears, feeling like an utter failure as a housekeeper, a wife, a woman.
Why do I do this to myself?
—–
* We all have our idiosyncrasies. One of my husband’s little quirks is that he is quite fastidious about folding. I, on the other hand, am kind of a slob. I get bored of the folding half way through and half-ass it the rest of the way. You can spot this difference immediately if you look in our separate drawers or closets. His clothes are neat, tidy, and make perfect little stacks. Mine are usually in a crumpled pile, or set precariously in a jumbled tower, just waiting to collapse.
** This makes him sound a little heartless. But he’s not. He is very generous with thank yous. I think he only notices all the folding when he’s dressing in the morning. And at that point, I am sleepy. And a thank you would likely be rewarded with a grouchy “shhhh” from his wife.
I know this probably didn’t make you laugh, but it did me; only because I share the same sort of situation. I do my boyfriend’s laundry ever weekend. Sometimes he thanks me right away, other times he doesn’t until he reaches for an article of clothing a couple of days later. Last week I took out the clothes of a few of his drawers because they were so messy you could barely close the drawer. It’s been over a week and the drawers are not as neat as I made them. [disgruntled face]
Has he ever showed you how to fold them *his* way? You could fold them together a couple of times until you get it down just right. I would suggest you not folding them for one day, but we all know he’s probably too busy.and.or.tired to do his laundry. Just a suggestion! We all have our little idiosyncrasies! =) Happy Monday!
(responding to your comment on my post): Olive oil isn’t super greasy and seems to absorb pretty well right after a shower. I only use a little bit and it works well. (and I don’t think I smell like olive oil after).
So, this is a really cute story, even though you cried! Not saying that I am a fan of crying. Maybe it was just cute because what he said was not really cry-worthy, so it’s not like a story about a fight. I’m not making any sense! Anyway, I got a chuckle
Boys really do say insensitive things sometimes that make them sound ungrateful, even if in general they aren’t. Like when I packed my husband’s suitcase for our weekend trip in December, and I packed a gray (gasp!) undershirt instead of a white one. It’s like, DUDE, I PACKED YOUR SUITCASE FOR YOU. Let’s not complain about the wrong undershirt! Not that your husband is complaining. Ugh I am making no sense today! I’ll quit here then!
Aww, don’t feel too bad, at least your husband can fold! Mine has no idea how to use a hanger. All the clothes he hangs are falling off and backwards and inside out, ha!
Doing something “right” is relative, you got it done, so in my eyes you did it right!
It’s funny you are blogging about this because I was thinking the same this morning! Does my husband like how I fold his clothes? (I tend to think he doesn’t because I’m grossly untrained in this department, having lived with a busy mother and a doting grandmother).
My husband is kind of silent when it comes to criticism, yet I still want to pry it out of him — to see if I did it right, of course. I think to myself that I truly want to know if he thinks I’m doing a good job, but sometimes the truth hurts!
We do it to ourselves because we want to be good at everything we do!
But we don’t have to be perfect. As others have said, you got it done and just be proud!
The hubs is lucky if I fold his clothes before he has to wear them. Ah ha ha. You sound like a pretty kick arse wife to me!
Oh girl, you are so funny! I do the same thing, I love to torture my husband and myself I suppose.
Maybe he can keep his high, exacting standards at the workplace…and cut you a bit of slack!
So sad. We, as wives, live off the words they say.
Just found your blog and love it! I am 26 and starting medical school in the fall so I’m really enjoying hearing about your experiences… I feel like it’s preparing me for some relationship struggles ahead of time!
Love the discussion about folding clothes…. I feel the same way when I don’t do things around the house the way the Preppy Boyfriend wants them, like somehow I am a failure as a woman because I don’t mop the floor everyday… It’s silly I know, but none the less it’s how I feel….
Ohhhhhhh dear, the clothes. This week S refolded a shirt that I folded of my own. It wasn’t the way his mom did it.
Ummmmmmmm…
I feel your pain!
Oh my God! I just laughed so hard…not at your tears at all mind you, but at the fact that I had a similar situation. After shrinking and ruining numerous of Dan’s clothes we have agreed to do our laundry separately…its much better for both parties involved.
I do the same thing. Wait for my gold star, and then seek criticism that I know will upset me! My husband’s laundry idiosyncrasy is that he HANGS all of his t-shirts (except plain white undershirts). His argument is that since so many have base colors of white, grey, and black, hanging allows him to see which shirt is which. I think it is because he treats his t-shirts like a 6-year-old treats their stuffed animals – making sure each one gets equal number of kisses and cuddling. This wouldn’t be a problem except we share a closet in a small condo and he has 100 – yes 100 – t-shirts hanging in our closet. He really likes our relationship to be equitable, and we do split most things, even chores (despite me being home more) 50/50. And he made it very clear he wanted 50% of the closet, and he was going to use it for t-shirts. (His suits and dress shirts are squeezed together – but not his precious t-shirts). Love him. I do.